greatgod2012: good points here, txs a lot,but somehow difficult to practise

most pple av said so but i dont share dr sentiments, i think if u value urself & ur purpose in life above all things then, it might not just be difficult. U just remove everyfin dt does not line up wit ur destiny includin pple

Alfoasegh: Great post but mostly applicable to boyfriend-girlfriend relationships (not marriages) as rightly pointed out by someone earlier.
As for those who think it's easier said than done, I agree it's quite difficult but it's definitely achievable.
I was in a relationship for over 2 yrs where I was so carried away that I practically became my parners father financially although I blamed myself for trying to live up to her expectations then. When I looked at myself, I became a shadow of my old self, going from positive to zero in my bank a/cs and then into -ve with major projects stalled here & there. The only project that was vibrant was meeting the whims & caprices of the lady in question. Then I realized she was making more withdarwals than deposit (actually no meaningful deposits at all if you ask me) into the relationship & into my life. Some of the deposits she flaunted then (honesty & faithfulness) were both faulted eventually as she was caught red-handed in some undeniable bouts of infidelity. The last straw that broke the camel's back was my finding out that she wasn't even an under-graduate after paying school fees, hand-outs, accomodation, general maintenance & upkeep for two good sessions, thinking I had finally found the proverbial missing part of my rib. Anyway, we eventually parted ways but it wasn't easy for me. After severe emotional stress spanning over 1 year, I eventually was able stay on my own without this very strong urge to always call, text or be with her. But I must confess it wasn't easy at all.

my broda,dnt u eva make d mistake of getin in2 tht kind of rlatnshp again..like u ritely said, u no b ha father.guys fail to undstnd tht u cn nt run a rltnshp like tht..she wil end up lovin ur money n not u...

Hmmmm

shymmex: Different idealistic theories everyday, but how practical are these theories?

Same NL but different crap everyday.

Some of you need to go out more for some fresh air, and see how things work in the real world.

why are you always critical? Though sometimes constructive and most times destructive. No offence intended please...just an observation.

Evrybody z sayng nyc note.. so @op 9ce note even tho i dint read it.. Tis way 2lng man!

Nice thread. Thought provoking.

[quote author=akinmusi]Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:

Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.


A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.


You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – freedom. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson. If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.


An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.


Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life. Either way there’s a positive outcome. Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do. In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you. And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.


Someone continuously overlooks your worth. – Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.. . . .
NICE PIECE. Taught me to let go b4 it'll be too late nd cause regrets.

Its very possible if u play by d rules. Lyk som1 said up thr; "alwyz b incharge of ur emotions." A luvly article.

Op, good thinking! even if not all, there's defo something to take away from this

[quote author=koruji]I see the advice below all the time when people talk about relationships.

In my view it is rather unfortunate. It is very difficult for two fully grown people, even if they have the same background, to live peacefully without one or both being willing to compromise.

Thus, this advice should be changed to reciprocate your partners willingness to compromise, if possible. If he/she cannot compromise or accept your best efforts then you must check whether there are other crucial reasons for you to want the relationship to still succeed. If not, you should leave without delay.

Your heart will always be left broken if you always get into a relationship to insist "you can't change for someone else" or "you are never wrong" or "you are perfect", and other such nonsense. If that is the case, all you really want is a relationship with yourself only.


[/quot
You just spoke my mind

what if you r already married how do u apply dis rules

Great points.

slimyem: good points!
...but most of the time...its easier said....

I wish it was that easy oh... I wish.

Bitter truth.

True talk I guess dis was specially made 4 me

it is easier to say it than to practice.my bro if u are face the realiaty of life,the only solution is to seek God help in anything you do in life.
About risk it better to take calculated risk than just risk or else it is constant failure.once again i pray to Almight Allah to help us in all our endeavour. to me you made some nice and powerful point on 10 signs its time to let go.more power to your elbow

Brilliant post

slimyem: good points!
...but most of the time...its easier said....

especially when you feel like there is some unfinished business.

DAMN! This makes so much sense....with a sense of deja vu, I so understand why some unanswered prayers are truly blessings in disguise! Life?.....hmmm

Wislet: ALL THESE PEOPLE CLAIMING IT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE.... Nawa oo.
I can authoritatively tell you that those are real life applications.
It's no wonder many relationships crumble these days....many don't understand the rules!
If u think u can't possibly apply them/they are just fairy tales, then pls stay in that relationship and keep allowing him/her to treat you like a big joke.
Because those that have understood how to control and be in charge of their emotions....understood that they are supposed to be desired/pursued and not them falling flat on their faces are the ones having lasting relationships without sweating to keep it alive.

I agree with you completely i don't understand some people.

shymmex: Different idealistic theories everyday, but how practical are these theories?

Same NL but different crap everyday.

Some of you need to go out more for some fresh air, and see how things work in the real world.

bad belle

Lolz. Dirty mind. Nor mind me. You are the only one I replied after such a long time of posting this. #Phew. It took me that whole time typing this.

I don't know the next time I will reply ur next response.

bittyend: I want the OP to share some of the ish he smoked before writing this long and boring essay.

Let nature be the judge and do less reading when you're dealing with emotions.