Hello my people! I need your help with this one.

Its a bit complicated. There's a girl thats pregnant for me! It was an away match as I have my girlfriend that I hold dear. The pregnancy will not be aborted as she has vehemently refused. I'm not leaving my sweetheart and that has been established to all parties involved. So I'm going to be the father without entering into marriage. At least in the first instance.

Baby-mother has moved from being demanding that I marry her at all cost, to a more compromising stand that she will accept being wife 2 (This was a proposal I put forward because the baby came from a relationship that included the awareness that there was someone important in the picture!)

Dont misunderstand me. I didn't do this purposely. We got into the relationship and liked each other. We made several failed attempts to stop this relationship because it was hurting each of us. But with the introduction of the baby, I think she is deliberately trying to keep the baby to make me stay with her.

Anyway, I have had to meet with her parents at the early times of the knowledge of this baby. And they were not particularly harsh because maybe they thought I would change my mind. Infact, they have been nice. But I wont be disillusioned. I want to make another visit to see her dad. To show respect and to let him know that I'll do my best for his daughter and grandchild. Now that its obvious I'm not marrying her now, do you think this is advisable?

Guy why do u have to go this far, u have a GF and u are still seeing someone else. Well
My opinion is that:
1) What is the stand of ur GF on this issue,
2)Is she ready to accept her and u being the father of another child apart from her own.
If she is positive on this issue then u can go ahead and father the baby without entering into marriage with the mother of ur first child, but lets pause a moment and have a rethink, how are u sure u impregnated the girl, have u gone through thorough research and it is confirmed that u are the biological father of the next CBN governor in that girl u refused to enter marriage agreement with.

God don catch you and your wayward 'John Thomas'.Thank you stars it wasn't someone i knoe,your 'Obioma' would have paid the ultimate price

na oju kokoro worry you that you had to chuk anoda girl to the point of becoming papa bomboy.were you thinking of your GF when doing the act?

anyways sha,God go help you ooooooooooooooo

i am lmao because i just know you are not in Nigeria this is the type of things people do abroad

am i right?

yea how does your true girl feel about this whole issue or you haven't told her yet

i think you are asking for trouble going to see her father them go put juju for the cup of water for you and your prick go fall

??/

THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, RIGHT?

@kanmosyl

Actually the pregnancy is about 6 months now and like I said, all parties are in the know. Including my GF. She is willing to forgive me and I am grateful for this. Both women are  hurt and I plead with them daily on this. I feel very guilty but if only she had aborted it, we wont be going through this now!!

Do I know if this is my child? Only time will tell! But as it is, I will do all my best to make sure that he is on the path heading toward CBN governorship. Even though I'm super broke at the moment!

@toyinrayo

No. Its not rhetorical. Really need an answer!! Trying to figure out what to expect if I do or not at all!!!

@ gamers,

chai,you are in serious 'quanta'.firstly,you should chastise your wayward 'john thomas' for putting you in this delimma.have a vasectomy done on you so you dont do it again.

but as for meeting the father of the girl,i'd tell you to watch your back wella,the man might be smiling with you but do you know if the last bustop of the smile is his heart?

I feel your pain oooooooooooo

no be small mata

@saucekid

I understand the false smiles! I want to be guaranteed that they can't be happy with the way things have turned. This is very understandable. No one is, really! I've thought about leaving my GF but I can't bring myself to do it. I won't allow her to suffer for my mistakes and it'll be the last thing that I'll do to her.

Care for Baby mother too and I wont allow her to do this all alone. Can't abandon her. I've thought of a million and one reasons like she planned this, trying to trap me and all. But I just can't act like a typical guy faced with this situation.

The question remains - based on my resolve to take care of both women, how do I face her dad with these intentions? I'll marry my GF but hope to compromise and accommodate Baby mother if she doesn't get married in future! Nasty move but coming from guilt!!!!!!

i seriously advice you not to meet him, you'd be disrespecting him. i mean, you have the audacity to impregnate his daughter, then meeting him to tell him wat?: "I slept your daughter, but i don't wanna marry her. however, i enjoyed her in bed, but she's not good enough for marriage" ? is that wat you'll say? or that she forced she into bed with her? anyways, if you don't want to die young, don't meet him.

Sure, just make ur will be4 going there, will your computer to the NGO in ya local govt.

i seriously advice you not to meet him, you'd be disrespecting him. i mean, you have the audacity to impregnate his daughter, then meeting him to tell him wat?: "I slept your daughter, but i don't wanna marry her. however, i enjoyed her in bed, but she's not good enough for marriage" ? is that wat you'll say? or that she forced she into bed with her? anyways, if you don't want to die young, don't meet him.

No be small thing oooooooooooooooo,
Nah ur nickname dey fire u up and down, Gamer=Player
God don catch u, U see now all of u Gamer and Player, Nah one by one God go dey halla una.

Well i go try advise you small, U see this one , That is the smile from the Gurl Father face, U see this one nah the real KOKO, The Man dey Angry with u but he got no choice than to smile with you cos nah small small Death e wan use waka u.
If u wan go meet the gurl papa just make sure say u pray well well to conquer all the devil act wey u wan go put urself into cos e go be like Devil battle.
U beta watch ur step.

Love Ya.

@toyinrayo
Thank you for advise. I don't want to send those kind of signals so I'll need to look at that decision very carefully. Guess I'll continue to be responsible and allow my actions to speak for itself. Maybe as things progress and unfold, we'll be able to sit in the same room with each other!

@azpunpin
Thanks men! I know say I don enter this one well well! E be like fish bone in my throat! Seems to be that I'm on a suicide mission

@all
I have met her dad and the conclusion is that I should marry her at all costs. He has given me one week to reconsider and get back to him. Told me that I am not serious for considering that I wont marry her. Told him about my present girlfriend and he literally said that was not his concern. The best way is to dump her. And quick too!

But his daughter has told hima another story about our relationship. She didn't tell him about the several occassions she lured me into her bed after I had called it off. How she kept on seducing me and pressuring me to make love to her after I tell her that we should end this.

They are in for a shocker! If I can defy my parents, what makes them think I would listen to them?!

@eniyanman
Does this sound like make- believe? Its not o! hasn't this happened to someone you know before? I didn't know it could happent to me but it did. And I've been suffering ever since!!
I aint joking o!

Gamers:

This is very understandable. No one is, really! I've thought about leaving my GF but I can't bring myself to do it. I won't allow her to suffer for my mistakes and it'll be the last thing that I'll do to her.

Care for Baby mother too and I wont allow her to do this all alone. Can't abandon her. I've thought of a million and one reasons like she planned this, trying to trap me and all. But I just can't act like a typical guy faced with this situation.

The question remains - based on my resolve to take care of both women, how do I face her dad with these intentions? I'll marry my GF but hope to compromise and accommodate Baby mother if she doesn't get married in future! Nasty move but coming from guilt!!!!!!

Just listen to yourself. When you were busy sleeping with the Baby's mother, you didn't think she was trying to trap you then, abi? Now that there is a bun in the oven, you are ascribing one million and one reasons to her actions, as if it didn't take two to tango. Now, you want to marry your girl-friend in addition to having your cake and eating it, and you think things will work out between you two, despite the fact that you have cheated on her and there is living proof of your 'escapades'. How do you think the baby's mother will feel seeing you say 'I do' to someone else, after you have left her as a single mother? You even had the guts to suggest she should go for an abortion, in order to cover up your mistakes. You are really pathetic.  So you hope to compromise and accommodate Baby mother if she doesn't get married in future?! Gosh! You need help! Just listen to the garbage you are spewing out. How exactly do you propose to accomodate the baby's mother, pls? Kindly let everyone know. And if she gets married, you will stop the accomodation, abi? Kai! See wonder! Oh I guess, if she gets married, you will automatically abandon your duties to your kid.

Let us hope her father gives you the tongue-lashing you so richly deserve, and let us hope he turns down any offer from you to feature as a 'daddy' in his grand-child's life. Afterall, you didn't show his daughter any respect by using her, and getting her knocked up, then turning around to suggest an abortion. So I fail to see why the girl's dad should show you any courtesy. Go and see him. But be prepared for the worst. And don't blame him if he reads you the riot act, because you truly deserve it for being an ass.

yes o - to tell him why u cant marry his daughter - and to tell him how sweet his daughter obo be for bed - so make sure u no shy to meet him o -,

@ Topic: Depends on the girls father. He may be a very decent chap.

Or, he may be an axe, baseball bat, sledge hammer wielding character, determined to take your head off your shoulders.

Your call!

@Siena

read his last post he has already met the father


@Gamers

Hello

Noone can force you to marry anyone
marrying a girl simply becasue she got pregnant for you is not wise
you will resent her and her family will just put her in bondage for nothing


If you are sure you wont marry her then be A MAN and stand your ground, cater for the child like a responsible man and let them know that okay.

You are not under obligation to cater for the mother, she is not your responsibility. She was very aware she could get pregnant

Maybe this time you'll appreciate ur GF and with time and a lot of work from ur side she will forgive you.

salsera:

You are not under obligation to cater for the mother, she is not your responsibility. She was very aware she could get pregnant

Maybe this time you'll appreciate your GF and with time and a lot of work from your side she will forgive you.

And if his girl-friend marries him, she will be a really dumb broad. The guy was supposed to be in a 'serious' relationship with her, and he kept fooling around with another chic, until he left a calling card in the other babe's belly. Why didn't he keep his trousers zipped, if he loved his girl-friend so much? Now he wants to marry his GF out of guilt! What a pity.

What is the proof that he won't repeat the same thing with another chic, after she marries him?

@salsera
Thanks for your advise. I have come to accept my fate.

@laudate
I have had to define why I am going for my GF amidst all that I'm going through. Dumping her would be the option of least resistance to an onlooker. I deeply love her so that path will be the one of most resistance to me. And its not guilt! And I dont want to ruin all our lives. I was human and I erred. She has forgiven me and hopefully, will forget soon enough and she'll be able to accept my child.

I intend to be a major part of this child's life. Dont want this mayhem to be a reason why something will happen to him. I wanna make sure he'll turn out right. To be someone in future. Reason for my words 'accomodate'. All with God's help. Besides, the baby-mama and I had a friendship before tis turned into this.

If the father of your future baby mama wants to meet u then u have to meet him.
Am sure he isnt expecting u to marry his daughter, maybe he just wants to know how u are gonna be taking care of ur daughter.

He wants to know the arrangements u have in place for his grandchild.

Am sure thats all there is to it.

@adeboo
Thanks for being hopeful but like I said, I have seen and spoken with her dad and he has categorically emphasized that I must marry her. And make arrangements for this soon.

Then marry her, this should be a lesson to people, dont get intimate with someone that you know if the worst comes, u wont marry her, whether she was seducing u or not, every human being gat da ability to resist so it should not even be an excuse for@poster cuz that's just pure naive.

@Ezinwannem
Its easy for you to say. Open and shut case, right?

Ezinwannem:

Then marry her, this should be a lesson to people, don't get intimate with someone that you know if the worst comes, u wont marry her, whether she was seducing u or not, every human being gat da ability to resist so it should not even be an excuse for@poster because that's just pure naive.

Exactly!!! Don't bang when you know you aren't ready. why can't you guys hold your pricks eh? sex is for married people!! sex is not Food that you can't live without.
after you don enjoy finish you come dey ask question for here. common run along and go see her father!!! it's very OK, go see the father.

Gamers:

@Ezinwannem
Its easy for you to say. Open and shut case, right?

wasn't it easy when you were laying her?

@omoge
Believe me, I was goody-two-shoes before this happened. While I appreciate your responses, however factual or otherwise, I wont leave my GF. And she wont leave me too. And I certainly hope all those that have shot at me now have not, at any time in their lives, made some irreversible mistakes. I have made mine and intend to make the most out of it.

I was reading through the romance section and I found this topic https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-8322.0.html. Of particular note to me was lashawna's post saying that she left her guy to go into a worse situation. And that is one of concerns for my GF. The only reason that will make me leave her and marry the baby-momma, is if anyone can guarantee that she'll find someone that can even love and treat her haif as much as I have (before my error and even afterwards!!!)

mayne, u r in big trouble!, i can feel ur pain and i kno hw u feel rite about now, i've done shit like that b4 but not to this extent, man i wish u the best, as i am typin this, i can imagine how the whole things are, u.ll be thinking and thinking, just take it easy hommie, shit happens, no one is perfect, im playin sum kinda thingy relating to this but i pray not to get into this type of soup u r in, , relax big time, damn!, errthin is gonna be good!, and im waitin to see how it goes, maybe ima use ur story to make a track, like ludacris"runaway love, "im serious

It is as much your fault as it's the baby mama. If she was dumb enough to sleep without protection, she should be ready to face life. If she made a decision to not abort. She should be ready to face life as a single mother. See, what I am trying to point out here is this, we all choose the way we want to live. She chose to have a baby out of wedlock and she will have to live with that decision.

Yes, people sleep with others. Heck, the sex is sweet and you know deep down, you feel nothing for her. That if push turn to shove, you'll go with your GF. Believe me, girls know this, but some are stupid enough to think the guy is going to leave the GF for them. Yeah, wishful thinking.

Abegi, carry go jo. If her family wants you to marry her, tell them you will, when their daughter starts to tell the truth. I so hate liars!

@jayvin01
Are you here with me? Bros, thats what I do on a daily basis! Thinking. Wishing. Praying.

I know I'm in trouble. Can't wait for the day that I'll be able to look back at these days and smile. And maybe be able to rap to a beat too! But for now, back to the drawing board, devising new ways to be rich! 9-5 doesn't cut it anymore!!!