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I Want To Divorce And Live Alone - Family (11) - Nairaland

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My Wife Is Seeking For Divorce And She Is Crying / Is It Right For A Lady To Live Alone? / Uncle Set To Divorce Wife After Plumber Removed 23 Condoms Blocking Our Toilet.. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Kobojunkie: 5:43pm On Sep 12, 2023
Administration1:
Why do people make this mistake in marriages, I told my wife that the day you go and seeking someone whom I revere to have audience with me, over our marriage issue, is the day our real problem starts.
Any spouse who does that is evil. Like I said earlier there's a place for communication in marriages. Sit down and talk. The issue OP has is a very trivial one to deal with, it's just that they do not "speak" the same language. I can recommend 3 ways to restore sexual life to that marriage, I have already mentioned one in my first post
Clearly, it ain't trivial to OP as he has been pretending to be a husband for some time now. Why would you wish for him to continue that charade any longer? Only so the woman can continue to wear her Mrs. badge or something? She spent 13 years of her life catering to a man who does not seem to have deeper feelings for her more like she has been forcing herself on him all the while. The man is ready to move on, so why force him to stay for her sake? undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by kenny1911: 5:44pm On Sep 12, 2023
Bros, you should be very careful on the decision you want to make. It’s obvious you are just tired with no reason. Yes, sex in marriage is very important but should not be a ground for devoice. Let me give a brief of similar experience that happened to me. I have been married for over 16yrs now and my marriage was going in the area of sex until about 3yrs ago when my sex drive for my wife died. I didn’t have sexual intercourse with my wife for over 2yrs because of my dead feelings. I and my wife tried everything to no avail. She was so worried if there is a spell on me because she knew the man she married in terms of the other room. She was so frustrated that, she has to be doing fastings and prayers on her husband. Sometimes, I will achieve slight erection and I will immediately try to initiate sex with her. Immediately it’s time to drive in, my p.nis will just go flat. With this, so many things were running through the mind of my wife. To be candid, it was a trying period in my family and my wife really endured. If my wife wanted to take your route, she would have divorced me but with God we are fine and all is going on well. I wrote all these just to tell you that, sometimes in marriage, the sexual urge will not be there for a long duration. At this point, you just have to endure and encourage, it’s not that she doesn’t love you but that urge is dead. I’m sure she will be fine again. From your write up, you have a goood woman as wife, please divorce should not be an option for now. Also, consider your children

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Kobojunkie: 5:44pm On Sep 12, 2023
eniolorunfe:
@op
The chances that she will try to change if you carry out what you intend to do is quite high. If she changes, are you willing to continue with the marriage or you just want out?
That is fake and evil! If she tries to change for the man then would there be anything genuine left of the marriage at that point? undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Growing(m): 5:44pm On Sep 12, 2023
100k for your wife and considering the kids? The woman is probably doing things you are not aware of to manage that amount monthly without complaining.

Divorce should be out of the question.

Have a one-on-one with your wife where you are sincere with her about your sexual needs. Don't abuse her. Don't blame her. Don't shame her. Just air your feeling to her.

Have at the back of your mind that a good number of women somehow forget about their husband's needs due to raising of children. They are trying to cope with much although I am not justifying the neglect of the husband.
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Saig: 5:45pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
God does not like divorce. Talk things out instead
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Amopeekun(f): 5:46pm On Sep 12, 2023
Ha! E tire me o! And people are still saying 'deprive her', 'deprive her'. She was a virgin fa. No experience before marriage and he wants to kill her . 1 hour of digging! I can only imagine the pain! Now that she wants to live long long for her children, OGA wants to be free.

Be free o, OGA. But treat her well as you do. Lobatan!
Leilami:


Hainest!!! Oga

5 times a week? 😳
Are you a lion? I was just reading and scrolling until I got to this part and I decided to log in and comment. 5times a week for the past 10 years and you don't think you are the problem? Divorce her and remarry and believe it even the next one will run away because of too much sex. Are you addicted to sex or you don't have a hobby to distract you? Maybe you should turn one of your rooms into a mini gym and exhaust your energy because you need it. Chai!!
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by dontrulee: 5:47pm On Sep 12, 2023
Op, calm down grin

Sexual incompatibility can be very disastrous In marriage. Usually, it's the man having more urgent and libido compared to the female as the female libido tends to decrease with age.

Sexual frustration can be very bad, so I understand Op very well. I'll advise to be patient and understand your wife more. I can see beyond the stories you're saying, Op is frustrated to be thinking of divorce. I can deduce that your wife is not happy or really enjoying the marriage, she's just living as the day goes by. Unfortunately that's what marriage does, living together for a long time causes boredom and see finish grin

In the end, if you want a change, first visualize it. Do you have any goals in your marriage? Most marriages are without goals?
What are your sexual goals?
What plans are you setting to make your marriage more memorable and enjoyable?
What are the plans for your children?
How often do you have family time together?
What's your plan ten years to come, twenty years to come?
Just as you're working on your project, which is very impressive, are you also taking your marriage as a project?

Your marriage will stop working if you stop working on it.

End.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by tunjilana: 5:48pm On Sep 12, 2023
Since u said she has good homely traits. No need spoiling the balance in ur home. Keep being a loving good father and husband while u sort urself codedly outside.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by GboyegaD(m): 5:48pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:


You dey M*D ni? did you not read the part I said I am investing on a project she is aware of? Does that not tell you it was our agreement to give her that?

Mod: This project is costing me over 7-8 by end of 2024 where the dividend will start flowing in?

Besides been her best friend, best dad to the kids, and providing finance to support the home; do you help in house chores just to ease the burden perhaps, that will make her have more energy for sex. Have you thought of increasing the monthly allowance considering the cost of things in recent times? Have you asked if there is need to hire a domestic staff who helps ease the chores at home? Also, do you start preparing her mind for sex from during the day by sending ensuring proper communication or you just want to pounce on her once the lights are off at night?

That said, responding the way you did in the quote should be reflected upon. That the project is costing you so much doesn't mean the other party should be dissatisfied. Truth is you are placing money above your family's interest.
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by hahn(m): 5:48pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:


No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed.

If she is not meeting your needs, it is possible her needs are being met elsewhere.

Make sure to do DNA test on your kids first.

Then you can go on with the divorce.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by victorVIC1(m): 5:48pm On Sep 12, 2023
Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

Like seriously..I do almost times two of this value monthly yet all I get is complaints about how things are now so expensive due to inflation

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by jeromestarks: 5:48pm On Sep 12, 2023
You go explain tire but still no evidence.
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Amopeekun(f): 5:50pm On Sep 12, 2023
Bless you fa. I kept reading and reading and my head just dey spin. Like, my first time of wanting to shake the op to faint!
Kobojunkie:
Clearly, it ain't trivial to OP as he has been pretending to be a husband for some time now. Why would you wish for him to continue that charade any longer? Only so the woman can continue to wear her Mrs. badge or something? She spent 13 years of her life catering to a man who does not seem to have deeper feelings for her more like she has been forcing herself on him all the while. The man is ready to move on, so why force him to stay for her sake? undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by dontrulee: 5:51pm On Sep 12, 2023
Leilami:


Hainest!!! Oga

5 times a week? 😳
Are you a lion? I was just reading and scrolling until I got to this part and I decided to log in and comment. 5times a week for the past 10 years and you don't think you are the problem? Divorce her and remarry and believe it even the next one will run away because of too much sex. Are you addicted to sex or you don't have a hobby to distract you? Maybe you should turn one of your rooms into a mini gym and exhaust your energy because you need it. Chai!!

It's not about addiction or whatever.
Human physiology differs from person to person.
In the prime of my sexcapedes, I was having sex at least six times a week keeping the seventh day holy. Yeah, I'm filled with much energy and libido, so it's not the fault of the Op. However it's also true that over indulgence can lead to self destruction so I found a way to transform the sexual energy into useful energy

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by kabeaze(m): 5:52pm On Sep 12, 2023
I will advise you to go for check up on your health status and also go for counseling.
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Everbryte: 5:54pm On Sep 12, 2023
your wife may be the typical Nigerian woman but not the talking type.
good that you are investing & to her knowledge and she appears to understand.

I suggest you increase the upkeep allowance which may not be enough but she refuse to complain, buy her gift from time to time and watch how she would become clingy, and no longer tired. Just my two cents

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by NoToPile: 5:55pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:


4-5 times a week, pls note not " round" i mean on each act we do two round only. lets say early morning and night


4-5 times a week 2 rounds is too much, too much no wonder she says you want want to kill her.


I doubt there's any woman married for 13 years with children who will not complain having sex 4-5 times a week morning and night (two rounds each) that will not complain. Even younger couples too will complain. This is the truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

You will need to adjust your appetite sir.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Jackipapa: 5:55pm On Sep 12, 2023
Avoid asking her for lobe making

I don't understand?
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Leilami: 5:56pm On Sep 12, 2023
One more thing, all these people telling you to get a sidekick do not like you at all. Your father who advised you not to cheat you think he does not have sense? Or do you think anyone here loves you more than him?

Some are even saying while at it you should be careful of Stis. Don't make me laugh.
It is like as you are prospering you don't like it? You want to invite demonic spirits into your marriage through sexual immorality. Most of these side chicks are fortified. You call yourself a devout Muslim yet still think sex is physical. You can lose and exchange your glory and all your projects will crumble. The challenges, and spiritual battle you will welcome into your life you is not important as long as your insatiable desire for sex is fulfilled, right?

You think it is everyone's destiny and the divine part that is the same. Who knows maybe your father has been told some spiritual things about you and your future hence his advice.

Do you know the disease you can have even with protection? Or do you think condom prevents everything? Google is your friend Biko
Hope you know your penis is just one amongst the many other penis in the queue waiting to be defiled?

The small money you are using to do projects is "sharking" you or you think side chicks do not have bills or you intend to give them a stipend.

You don't deserve your wife. Sexually active guys should always go for their kind and leave those virgin ladies alone. Marry women who are sex freaks.

You can't compromise and want to have sex whenever you want in marriage. You think your marriage revolves around your*****
If we check now I am sure there are things about you too your wife has been complaining about for 10 years and you haven't changed or are you spotless? Divorce her and let her marry someone better who won't kill her with sex.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Nobody: 5:57pm On Sep 12, 2023
She doesnt find you attractive.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by ConfidentialDoc: 5:57pm On Sep 12, 2023


grin grin grin

Omoh.... grin
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Kobojunkie: 5:58pm On Sep 12, 2023
Neverlookback:
I wish you didn't include the monetary figures in your post, as it has caused individuals that have no idea about your home dynamics to focus on it rather than the gist of your post. I would not recommend you divorcing your spouse at this stage, as it is still premature. Sexual intimacy is very important in any relationship, especially in marriage, no doubt. After you've exhausted all forms of open communication and you still feel lacking, then you may consider a trial separation, without cheating. During this period, there's a good possibility that you may rekindle what you had prior to the kids coming. You said you still love her, so obviously there's still a great chance that you two will work out. I'm not sure if you do this currently, but date nights, some weekends away from home (from kids) do wonders to couples intimacy. God's blessings as you and your family navigate through this trying period. But how do you propose to stay alone, according to you, when you mentioned that you have a high sex drive?
Stop trying to blackmail OP by mentioning a God he did not see fit to mention in his entire OP abeg! undecided

OP has checked out of the relationship a long time and even has a plan for his future that does not include the woman. Why do you think that forcing them to remain attached is the way of God? Una get heart at all? That woman has spent 13 years of her precious life catering to a man that has yet to develop deeper feelings beyond the needs of his dick for her. Why would you want to punish her for continuing in such a loveless situation for crying out loud? The children? Do you think Children enjoy having their parents live together as though strangers? undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by 43Ronin: 5:59pm On Sep 12, 2023
@op what state are you from soni can give you a cultural advice
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Leilami: 5:59pm On Sep 12, 2023
NoToPile:



4-5 times a week 2 rounds is too much, too much no wonder she says you want want to kill her.


I doubt there's any woman married for 13 years with children who will not complain having sex 4-5 times a week morning and night (two rounds each) that will not complain. Even younger couples too will complain. This is the truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

You will need to adjust your appetite, sir.

Thank you! Very wicked man.
I saw 5 times I fear. Who knows maybe he reduced it to 5times sef so we won't bash him it could have been everyday.
I am even feeling sorry for his wife.
He should hit the gym and use up his excessive energy there.
I hardly get upset when I read stories but this one vexed me I logged in immediately.
The funniest part he doesn't even know he is the one with the issue.
What an appetite.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Kobojunkie: 6:00pm On Sep 12, 2023
Darlingme:
@Op, Evaluate it again. Sit her down and tell her of your intention and how you have suffered all these years. Believe me, you can't divorce her and stay alone without entering more tight situations. Either positive or negative. You said you have kids. Don't make mistake where your kids will grow up to see you as a bad father who left. Money isn't everything pls. Very important, she need counseling in respect to this. She might not even know she's not treating you well.
OP already checked out of the relationship for the sake of his dick. If after 13 years, his dick still leads the way, what makes you think anything else can change this if OP himself has his mind and calender made up? undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Kobojunkie: 6:01pm On Sep 12, 2023
pandax:
Is your wife circumcised?
Nonsense question! undecided
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Algold: 6:01pm On Sep 12, 2023
Don't leave your home or divorce her for the reasons you measure. A good woman is someone that manage home. She doesn't cheat on you or keep bad company. She doesn't poison your children mind against you and you said you want to divorce her. My brother don't eat the food devil is cooking you will not be able to vomit it. Be warned
ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by ConfidentialDoc: 6:02pm On Sep 12, 2023
NOETHNICITY:
This problem is very easy, simply attempt to marry another woman and you will see your wife sit-up like a chair.

Sad thing is:
When you have to descend to various schemes and tactics to get what a side chic would give without much hassle....isn't the marriage now overvalued?

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Boliboli760: 6:02pm On Sep 12, 2023
For VBAC preggos, I am now on Instagram @afribirther

Follow me and connect with me. I am available to help you through your delivery.
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Gmajor(m): 6:02pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you
Free to do what?
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by dival247(m): 6:02pm On Sep 12, 2023
ADURA123:

Pls don’t divorce her if she not cheating on you , talk to her , take her for vacation and let her free her mind ,
I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you
Re: I Want To Divorce And Live Alone by Leilami: 6:02pm On Sep 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Stop trying to blackmail OP by mentioning a God he did not see fit to mention in his entire OP abeg! undecided

OP has checked out of the relationship a long time and even has a plan for his future that does not include the woman. Why do you think that forcing them to remain attached is the way of God? Una get heart at all? That woman has spent 13 years of her precious life catering to a man that has yet to develop deeper feelings beyond the needs of his dick for her. Why would you want to punish her for continuing in such a loveless situation for crying out loud? The children? Do you think Children enjoy having their parents live together as though strangers? undecided

He should divorce her. It would shock him. Correct wife material- if everything he wrote about her is true. Another man with a normal libido will snag her.
I don't know why people make divorce look like a punishment.
If he divorces her, he frees her. He is doing her a favour.

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