When She Just Wants To Be Friends - Romance - Nairaland
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| When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Punteke(m): 11:18pm On Nov 01, 2012 |
Guys, what do u do when a girl who has been giving you green light and you guys get along so well and then she turns around to tell you she just wants to be friends when you pop the main question. Do you get to mount more pressure on the girls (maybe she is playing the normal hard to get) or do you just understand and swallow your feelings and just be friends (which is very hard)? 2 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by africanrapper: 12:30pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Having a similar challenge too. She's smashing hot. Her office is the next office from mine. Initially, she showed signs of wanting me to ‘toast’ her. Just this week, I did. To my utter shock, she’s now singing a different tune: “Uche, I want to be alone. I don’t want a boyfriend”. We should just be friends…blab la bla. Now, I’m like WTF? Why did you show all those signs of wanting me to do toast you? Why the mixed signals? Meanwhile, I’m dying to date this chic, ‘cos I think she has bright prospects. What do i do? 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Nobody: 1:02pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
have you guys ever thought that maybe you guys read the wrong signs?! or are you saying that a person CANNOT change their mind about anything? what about if that person discover something about you that made them change their stand?! if i listen to you guys, then whatever she saw in you, is the image she should have of you FOREVER?! here is a simple thing to do..... why dont you ask the gal this very simple question: "but i thought you were interested in me?!" or is that too difficult of a question for you lot?! 24 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Rhymez(m): 1:07pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
MRbrownJAY: what about if that person discover something about you that made them change their stand?! |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Mynd44: 1:25pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
I so agree with MBJ |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Smuthx(m): 1:46pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
ladies kind or sweet gesture does not neccessary mean she loves you or want to be your girlfriend. Ladies that are open and friendly. If she accepts every guy that ask her out. you will probably be her 1000 boyfriend. so stop taking ladies friendliness = asking her out (being her bf) 24 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by omega25red(m): 1:50pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Smuthx: ladies kind or sweet gesture does not neccessary mean she loves you or want to be your girlfriend. Ladies that are open and friendly. If she accepts every guy that ask her out. you will probably be her 1000 boyfriend. so stop taking ladies friendliness = asking her out (being her bf)^^ this is the lesson a lot of men have had to learn the hard way. poster take note 10 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Foxybone(m): 2:45pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Sorry o... Whatever happens, just take in good faith.... Meanwhile.... TGIF 
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| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Oluwa4Sure: 2:46pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Sometimes, 'that Question you poped' actually ain't necessary - trust me! 4 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Emmaville(m): 2:47pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
d ladies dat behave as such dnt want to b seen as cheap, hence dey dim deir lite. bt as a sharp guy, u cnt jst trow in d towel lyk dat , u continue ehhhh, friends oh, ordinary ooh, u kip pressing n folowing up her tune asap. soon, e go fall n u wil happily shine d [size=22pt]ukpeke[/size] 3 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Nobody: 2:48pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Means you never reach. So go work harder and make more cheddar and you will get a resounding Yes. |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Gabrielsylar(m): 2:50pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
The summary of the advice is UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD U MAKE WOMAN OR WOMEN AN ISSUE........When u take women issue too emotional u start becoming irrational and opening countless threads on nairaland....if she says friends...FINITO JUST DO FRIENDS.....The biggest problem is acting like a wussbag and losing out completely with the chick...train ur mind to be able to like plenty girls without oversampling a woman...that's why a guy should have a time consuming career it helps him boost his immunity against women emotional complicatioins that renders him weak and lacking authority oer his life 35 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by lolarde(f): 2:52pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Maybe she really wants to be JUST your friend. Reasons vary. Some Ladies feel more comfortable opening up to friends of the opposite sex rather than their fellow lady Folk. 2 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by shadrach77: 2:53pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
my two cents - when a lady says "let's just be friends" it's one of four things; (a) she is not interested and doesn't want to hurt you by saying 'no' so she is trying to let you off by being diplomatic (b) she needs you around her to act as a shield to ward off other guys (c)she needs you around her to act as a bait in attracting another suitor which she is eyeing (d) She needs you around her in order to boost her ego - now in the last three scenarios, she is indirectly using you. Whenever i find myself in such situation, i'll just ignore her "friendship" and seek greener pasture elsewhere    33 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Tgirl4real(f): 2:55pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Punteke: Guys, what do u do when a girl who has been giving you green light and you guys get along so well and then she turns around to tell you she just wants to be friends when you pop the main question. Abeg, just swallow ur feelings. You could have been reading the wrong signals anyway. Someone like me when I was much younger, get along very well with guys, but usually they mistake it for something else. So, I have learnt to always define my relationships from the start and I try so well not to send unnecessary signals. But, most times, u guys are at fault cos u tend to read the signal wrongly. It could be the girl really likes you, but just wants you as a close friend. And it could be she is just playing hard to get. Which ever is the case, swallow your feelings for now. Time will tell. 6 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by drnoel: 2:58pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
A similar topic was once hotly discussed at an acquintance's get-together party. Why don't u guys turn the table arnd. Besides, I know women also run partly mad if and when they think u led them on or trying to string them along. I once had a lady hate me 4 something like that. Come to think of it, she still hates my gut. A pity, I just wanted to be friends and nothing more.... 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Euroclydon(m): 3:00pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
[size=14pt]I have discovered from my experience that effective communication can help you determine if she actually wants to be friends or not BEFORE you decide to talk to her about taking it to the next level...Let your body language do the talking, then discuss open topics that evolve round the matter and study her responses, we will save ourselves alot of stress if we can pay attention to little details instead of allowing our hormones do all the thinking for us. Most gals have more than one 'backup' besides who they are dating and they will be verryy nice to you with the hope that if their present man messes up, they have up to three people to choose from. So be careful....U might be special backup number 7 without ur knowledge [/size]5 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Nobody: 3:00pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
The 'friend zone' is for losers! Imagine after 'car-washing', U̶̲̥̅̊ come dey hear long story?! Why waste tym on one when U̶̲̥̅̊ could get others? No tym! |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Ejine(m): 3:02pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
[img]http://i.qkme.me/Bet.jpg[/img] 5 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by bittyend(m): 3:04pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Just give her the dyck!*Bernie Mac's voice* Ask her for a status change and trust me, she'll change her mind when she's about to climax!  Status change for dummies trying to get a girl. |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Sunchris: 3:07pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
If she says "she jxt wana be a friend", let her be and find another.. That which is urs will come ur way without u stress. 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by LordReed(m): 3:07pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
@OP You read the "signals" wrong. As someone already pointed out a lady's friendliness is nat an invitation for toasting. Ladies are naturally touch feeling and may occasionally seem to be "frisky" when they are expressing delight. Don't be deceived its just an emotional high any attempt to go further may earn you a slap. I have married (and unmarried) women in my office and we are all jovial together but it would be foolish of anyone to interpret their jocular stance as a come-on. Study further the real come-on signs from women they are subtly different from regular friendliness. 3 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by ektbear: 3:11pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
"let's be friends" is pretty much the most annoying thing ever. Girl I ain't trying to be your friend, I'm trying to be your lover.. 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by masterpiecer(m): 3:11pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
As a guy, ur ability to decipher a girl's green-lite signal makes u a sharp guy, girls will always be girls and front sometimes, but u av to know wen the signal is full enuff 4 u to 'go' or else u go use ur own hand spoil ur show 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by dunmorris(m): 3:12pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Which Ever It is |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by bittyend(m): 3:13pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Naija guys need to step their game up. Who still ask a girl out in this day and age? That's so 90s! Just get closer to the girl and your aim should be getting under her skirt. Once you get that first beat, you're definitely in control, bro bro. Asking a girl out would definitely put you in a tight corner. Be friends and let it flow, being too direct is counterproductive. Step ya game up, son! 6 Likes |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Nobody: 3:14pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
I would agree with MBJ but I know better cos I'm guilty of the same thing. At times u like a guy but u're not ready or in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship, u think. The guy could also be someone you enjoy being with but not ur kind of guy, especially girls that have an image or some sorta list in their head of the kind of guy they want to be with. We are not intentionally giving u signs...........in fact I don't know how to explain it sef 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Gracious10: 3:14pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
africanrapper: Having a similar challenge too. Bc men hardly understand differences between friendship gestures and that of a relationship. A lady can just be friends with you and yet don't want to date you but that una yeye hormones will always translate female relations as wanting to date you especially if you are helplessly attracted to her. I have so many male friends and I don't think any of them hasn't asked me out. They aren't bad people but friendship should be what it is. Love ruins things. |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by chiefbatiatus(m): 3:14pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Euroclydon: [size=14pt]I have discovered from my experience that effective communication can help you determine if she actually wants to be friends or not BEFORE you decide to talk to her about taking it to the next level...Let your body language do the talking, then discuss open topics that evolve round the matter and study her responses, we will save ourselves alot of stress if we can pay attention to little details instead of allowing our hormones do all the thinking for us. Most gals have more than one 'backup' besides who they are dating and they will be verryy nice to you with the hope that if their present man messes up, they have up to three people to choose from. So be careful....U might be special backup number 7 without ur knowledge hahahahahahahahahahahaha, i just fell off my chari! special backup number 7, neighbourhood 6 am sure. 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by bittyend(m): 3:17pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
The first sex is the "tie-breaker," that should be your aim. "Can I be your bf/lover?" is so lame and old school before sexing the girl, do that when she has no other option than to say yes. Thank me later!  |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by Gracious10: 3:19pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
shadrach77: my two cents - when a lady says "let's just be friends" it's one of three things; (a) she is not interested and doesn't want to hurt you by saying 'no' so she is trying to let you off by being diplomatic (b) she needs you around her to act as a shield to ward off other guys (c)she needs you around her to act as a bait in attracting another suitor which she is eyeing - now in the last two scenarios, she is indirectly using you. Whenever i find myself in such situation, i'll just ignore her "friendship" and seek greener pasture elsewhere LOL @ C. Must be an assistant Boyfriend. 1 Like |
| Re: When She Just Wants To Be Friends by prettiest1(f): 3:19pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Smuthx: ladies kind or sweet gesture does not neccessary mean she loves you or want to be your girlfriend. Ladies that are open and friendly. If she accepts every guy that ask her out. you will probably be her 1000 boyfriend. so stop taking ladies friendliness = asking her out (being her bf) You are right on point. A colleague of mine did the same thing because I was friendly and closed to him than girls. He thought I was inlove with him and decided following me up. I told him such thing never existed. 2 Likes |
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