I need ur candid advice plsss
I am a yoruba boy dating an ibo girl nd I love her so much to the extent of taking me to see her mum and planning marriage together.
My problem now is that I discover she saves guys name on her phone with pet names eg my life.Mine is my sugar, my heart, ifeanyi love etc to the extent that the first time I discover that of my heart I was so furious until she now told me is her mum nd truly it was. Today I discover a guy saying I love kissing ur lips and I miss u and she replied I miss u more.
She drinks nd party nd like guys company a lot but told me she will change and I will ever thank God if I got married to her if it works out but am scared cos of her wild life. Could it be she will change truly. Does d ibo ppl look outside after marriage? Pls advise me cos I can't imagine my wife having man friend when we are married.

shawn5ng: I discover she saves guys name on her phone with pet names eg my life.Mine is my sugar, my heart, ifeanyi love etc to the extent that the first time I discover that of my heart I was so furious until she now told me is her mum nd truly it was.

So all the pet names belong to her mum, including Ifeanyi love, think with your brain, the fact that her mums corresponds to one doesn't mean the others corresponds to her relations.

Today I discover a guy saying I love kissing ur lips and I miss u and she replied I miss u more.

Only a fool will ignore a good evidence like this.

She drinks and told me she will change and I will ever thank God if I got married to her if it works out but am scared cos of her wild life. Could it be she will change truly.

Expecting otherwise would not only be slightly crazy, but it would leave you disappointed for the rest of your life. There are certain traits that people have, and you cannot wish or hope them to be different; they can only be accepted. Another reason to leave her.

Does d ibo ppl look outside after marriage?

You don't judge a whole race by the actions of a selected few.

Pls advise me cos I can't imagine my wife having man friend when we are married.

Let her GO! You’re better off alone than with the wrong woman!

In closing, NEVER forget there are thousands of women who are better than her.

@k2039 u have said it all.

When partners are about to get married, the woman might assume the man will change after marriage...but in most cases, he never does.
On the other hand,the man assumes the woman will not change after marriage...but often times,she does change.

My point is; she could most likely change her flirty ways.But since there is no guarantee for that,and you feel so insecure about this,you can walk out for good.

So many red flags for you to see. Use your tongue and count your teeth bro. I won't bet my money on her

Free that woman jor!

Is she the kind of woman u wld want to spend the rest of ur days wit? Re u the jealous type? Do u trust her ? Is she really making attempts to change or she just says it to calm u down? These re questions u should answer.

She sounds like me, just because she has many male friends does not mean anything I advise you to stick with her because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know ,personally if I was asked to change I will do it for love so if she says she will change give her the chance

Thank u all. I do appreciate your contibutions.
Honestly, she's my kind of dream girl and can't stop telling me she has seen it all that I shld calm down. One thing I like abt her is because she accepted me for who I am but don't really know if the love she claims she have for me is genuine and am about to meet the father soon. I left all my flings cos I wanna be loyal and expecting same from her.
What kills a man early is cheating and then I don't understand their language. I see all these unhealthy signs but really stuck in the relationship that leaving could affect me but finding ways I cud do that without feeling it.

Thank u all. I do appreciate your contibutions.
Honestly, she's my kind of dream girl and can't stop telling me she has seen it all that I shld calm down. One thing I like abt her is because she accepted me for who I am unlike d other one I left for her who can't even intoduce me to friend not to talk of her family. I don't really know if the love she claims she has for me is genuine and am about to meet the father soon. I left all my flings cos I wanna be faithful to her and expecting same from her.
What kills a married man early in life is knowing fully well that ur wife cheats and then I don't understand their language is another challenge. I see all these unhealthy signs but really stuck in the relationship that leaving could affect me but finding ways I cud do that without hurting myself d more.

^^
Bro, I understand how you feel and all these points you raised are actually scary especially when exhibited in a girl you intend to plan a future with.

My advice seem a little old fashion and odd but call her and have a talk with her. Tell her you are extremely unconfortable with these things and you woud like her to change or atleast improve. From there, you can see if she changed or willing to change and you can make your choice.

Cheers

Mindependent: She sounds like me, just because she has many male friends does not mean anything I advise you to stick with her "because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know" ,personally if I was asked to change I will do it for love so if she says she will change give her the chance

Nigerian ladies again!

listen young woman, that quote is meant for lossers and hopeless ppl!

I can never settle with the devil known or unknown...
Settling down with an 'irresponsible' person while there are millions of responsible ladies around me is the last thing I'll ever do.

And I find it embarrasing that you beat your chest cos she sounds like you! (Another common trait in a typical Nigeria lady. You girls boast of anything... bad, evil & corrupt acts).

...and FYI, just because you have many male friends is one of the many reasons some guys would not date...or atleast notice you!

Go & get your make up on... & mingle with your fellow females. leave these guys for their girlfriends! Don't break people's relationship cos of your trait! Ladies are naturally jealous... You may not understand untill one of your friend's girl attack you with words and actions..


Now take a look at this;

Today I discover a guy saying I love kissing ur lips and I miss u and she replied I miss u more.

That guy is hitting on op's girl in the name of "I have many male friends".... I'm very sure (100%) this dude has a girlfriend somewhere.. A girl he'll always protect from predators... but right here he's free to take advantage of a young loose- I-love-many-male-friends' babe

...

...

Lmao.

Pot, kettle and their mutual color

...

What's with the edits?
Smh

as you can see... twas a mistake.

acidosis™:


Nigerian ladies again!

listen young woman, that quote is meant for lossers and hopeless ppl!

I can never settle with the devil known or unknown...
Settling down with an 'irresponsible' person while there are millions of responsible ladies around me is the last thing I'll ever do.

And I find it embarrasing that you beat your chest cos she sounds like you! (Another common trait in a typical Nigeria lady. You girls boast of anything... bad, evil & corrupt acts).

...and FYI, just because you have many male friends is one of the many reasons some guys would not date...or atleast notice you!

Go & get your make up on... & mingle with your fellow females. leave these guys for their girlfriends! Don't break people's relationship cos of your trait! Ladies are naturally jealous... You may not understand untill one of your friend's girl attack you with words and actions..


Now take a look at this;



That guy is hitting on op's girl in the name of "I have many male friends".... I'm very sure (100%) this dude has a girlfriend somewhere.. A girl he'll always protect from predators... but right here he's free to take advantage of a young loose- I-love-many-male-friends' babe

1st of all learn how to spell loser before calling someone that.

2nd what makes you think guys won't date or notice me? U can't just go around making assumptions and judging people because I do get noticed alot + I have a boyfriend so I'm not looking for any guy to date me

3rdly I think u just lost the plot like wtf are you even saying , if you read what I said u would realise I'm an advocate for the relationship rather than breaking it up and Im not looking to break anyone's relationship

Lastly having a lot of male FRIENDS has never been a crime and should not be a base to use in judging someone only insecure men like yourself evidently would have a problem with a girl with loads of male friends,personally all my male friends are only friends and they know their boundaries so I'm sorry to inform you but your points are invalid

...

@acidosis, most of ur points re super-korect...@ op, I suggest u make up ur mind on wot u really want 4rm a woman who is to be ur wife nd lay it all out 4 her on d table, d worst thing dt can happen to anyone in life is settling for less. Be in charge of ur happiness, man
BTW, re u a learner??

Op is a learner obviously.....i feel that if someone loves nd respects u, she ll go to lengths to make u happy . That involves cutting down on assistant boyfriends when director boyfriend says ' i dnt like this' afterall its said that marriage is all about compromise

The mistake most people make is believing that marriage changes people,only in rear cases. Marriage is real,and no form of pretences.in op's case,u saw the red flag,and pretend. I bet you,she would be worst in marital life.

Am expecting your next thread: my wife is making my life miserable.

Yomieluv: The mistake most people make is believing that marriage changes people,only in rear cases. Marriage is real,and no form of pretences.in op's case,u saw the red flag,and pretend. I bet you,she would be worst in marital life.

Am expecting your next thread: my wife is making my life miserable.

U r very funny@ poster Nobody marry with the sole responsibility of changing his or her partners,like some have said talk to her and see what happens next,otherwise quit.i hate when a girl have a long list of male friends.

k2039:
In closing, NEVER forget there are thousands of women who are better than her.

you have spoken well...

OP, kick sentiments to the curb and use your brain.

At this stage in my life, any girlwey think sey she smart throwing such stunt is in for a surprise...

By their fruit, you sha know them...

Mynd_44: ^^
Bro, I understand how you feel and all these points you raised are actually scary especially when exhibited in a girl you intend to plan a future with.

My advice seem a little old fashion and odd but call her and have a talk with her. Tell her you are extremely unconfortable with these things and you woud like her to change or atleast improve. From there, you can see if she changed or willing to change and you can make your choice.

Cheers

The only thing I will never do is when I see traces of infidelity. I will prefer to walk away... after all, there are more women in this world then men... so?

Op, dnt b a dumb! U beta dump her a$$ nw or beta stil start meking female frnds and store sweet names too on ur fone

I wonder why some people are so crazy about this marriage thing sef.

People don't really change...

2sexy:

The only thing I will never do is when I see traces of infidelity. I will prefer to walk away... after all, there are more women in this world then men... so?

Well they are what they are TRACES. You are not sure.

shawn5ng: I need ur candid advice plsss
I am a yoruba boy dating an ibo girl nd I love her so much to the extent of taking me to see her mum and planning marriage together.
My problem now is that I discover she saves guys name on her phone with pet names eg my life.Mine is my sugar, my heart, ifeanyi love etc to the extent that the first time I discover that of my heart I was so furious until she now told me is her mum nd truly it was. Today I discover a guy saying I love kissing ur lips and I miss u and she replied I miss u more.
She drinks nd party nd like guys company a lot but told me she will change and I will ever thank God if I got married to her if it works out but am scared cos of her wild life. Could it be she will change truly. Does d ibo ppl look outside after marriage? Pls advise me cos I can't imagine my wife having man friend when we are married.

when I read the topic, I thought you meant platonic males. Yhere's NOTHING platonic here.

I keep a lot of male friends, my best friend is male, but I definitely don't save their numbers with 'love' or any form of endearment.

Bros, a leopard can never change it's spots, you can put make-up on a pig, but a pig will always remain a PIG. Pack your kaya and run while you still can

Wtf? Guy, ur babe na Ashana. Listen, make I knack u tru stories... Most of my friends are males. But! I don't go about saving dier names wiv "my life", wetin? Dem b oxygen? Dude, marriage won't change nada! If u like go carry commercial waste put for house, after wedding,dem go update and save ur name as "Recycler".