firstEVA:
my point is, since you have your pride, you want to be head, why be uncomfortable when she wants you to play the role of a head when it comes to meeting her needs?

this sounds like a trick, a gambit..headship more or less should be about making decision that benefits the family both immediately and long-term, something the spouses must play active role in.. Being the head should not be a call to become a donkey who worked a thousand years to be a horse!...

Vivly:
No. I think they want a humble, loyal and submissive woman that is independent and does not depend on them financially.

This is sarcastic hum?

bennyrazz:
singing fela's Palava "when trouble sleep, yanga go wake am, wetin hin dey find, palava hin dey find, palava hin go get ti o, palava hin go get"

Point less post

Truckpusher:
I had this vision of many Nigerian girls remaining single and frustrated.

What a pity,so that's how ur sisters,cousin sister,daughters etc will remain single n frustrated

This Op is a dunce o! She wants to sound like a feminist fighting for women's right and gender equality but instead she sounds to me like an immature person trying to get noticed. All the feminists I know are well educated and articulate. What the hell is 'of all times'? Its 'of all time' Nonsense!

Nigerian wives who are independent, submissive and humble are heroes loved dearly by their husbands,adored by their children. As for the few cursed, shallow, unwise and childish little girls here arguing blindly and foolishly confusing themselves with their imaginary image of what they want their husbands to be, I have one word for y'all. Dream on! Go and read about the richest black woman in the world Mrs Alakija and learn oh foolish woman that being successful does not mean you should be disrespectful and rude to your husband. We pick good ideas from western culture but we should not dump our own. It is time for western women to bring their asses down here and learn from the successful, hardworking, submissive and humble Nigerian wives. They need to learn some things from us. Their marriages and their men in the west will be better for it.

firstEVA:
The Average Nigerian man of today expects his wife/girlfriend to not depend on him financially, she should be an independent woman, she should be like the women from the west who would pay the bills when they both go out on a date.

On the other hand, the average Nigerian man of today wants a humble, loyal and submissive woman a woman who MUST NOT behave like women from the west who would challenge his authority as head, argue with him and even give him a slap when the argument becomes intense, no, mba. In other words they want gender equality but do don't want gender equality.
Isn't this the greatest hypocrisy of all times?

let us even come to look at it.. Must every women depend on his guy financially..no any nigeria right thinking ladies will do that and No matter how a woman is independent, don't you think she would still solicit for little help from her husband in all aspect of her life... The problem wif some of you ladies is that you want a guy to do everything for you which can't be possible..even God that create you women says you are our helper.. Helper in terms of every aspect of lifer even finance is not excluded..so why comparing the westerners with nigeria...if u know what some westerners men do to their wife then you will praize nigeria men!!
you said we want a humble loyal and a decent woman.. Don't be humble and decent and expect a good humble and decent man to marry you. May be you shud go the westerners where a woman can slap his husband, depend on his husband for finances, turn his husband to ATM machine...abegi if u don't like niger men!! Go and marry oyinbo!!

Yes they are hypocrites.

They'll say they only like light skinned girls but if Tiwa Savage spreads it they'll plough that shyte all night.

* See HBP! SHAI!!! *

dinachi:
Nigerian wives who are independent, submissive and humble are heroes loved dearly by their husbands,adored by their children. As for the few cursed, shallow, unwise and childish little girls here arguing blindly and foolishly confusing themselves with their imaginary image of what they want their husbands to be, I have one word for y'all. Dream on! Go and read about the richest black woman in the world Mrs Alakija and learn oh foolish woman that being successful does not mean you should be disrespectful and rude to your husband. We pick good ideas from western culture but we should not dump our own. It is time for western women to bring their asses down here and learn from the successful, hardworking, submissive and humble Nigerian wives. They need to learn some things from us. Their marriages and their men in the west will be better for it.

Mumu!
Ala-OKIJA husband nor dey work o!
Ashawo Mrs. dey feed am. . . .as usual with NIGERIAN MARRIAGES!

After MRS. ALA-OKIJA. . . .what other names do you care to drop?

BIANCAR-ONYE-FANNY-NKE-KAYODE?

deeptesting:


What about the Men that pay the bills, assist in domestic work, yet have disrespectful & ungrateful wives... You women are the greatest hypocrites, stop generalizing issues.

I keep hearing this word "ungrateful". You sound so entitled. You are immature and not ready for marriage if you are expecting praise for everything you do. If you really love your wife, this wouldn't be a point.

KanwuliaJara:
* See HBP! SHAI!!! *
Mumu!
Ala-OKIJA husband nor dey work o!
Ashawo Mrs. dey feed am. . . .as usual with NIGERIAN MARRIAGES!

I don't hold it against you at all. It is in your blood. All the women in your lineage do the same. You said so with your own mouth.

dinachi:
I don't hold it against you at all. It is in your blood. All the women in your lineage do the same. You said so with your own mouth.

Shorrrrrrrrrop jor!
ANGRY BIRD!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUQv4Pir0tQ

aisha2:
Why should you give him a slap? Is that what " western " women do?
What has paying bills got to do with being badly behaved, rude and uncultured? Even when I go out with friends we spilt the bill based on what we all ate does that mean I will now start challenging them, slapping them and being rude to them?

Young ladies please read and understand the concept and struggle of feminisim before you put yourself in trouble.

If you slap a man he has the right to give you a powerful slap back. If a woman in the west slaps a man he can sue her for assault and get paid loads of money in damages.

If I pay my own bills, spilt cheques and take care of myself it simply means I respect myself and know my responsibility towards myself and don't see a man as my atm.

You marry a man because you love him and respect him. That love and respect shouldn't be based on what he can or can't give you.

You are one in a million. The average Nigerian girl don't marry for love. They marry for socio-economic benefits and to satisfy societal norms (the you must marry before 30 nonesense even if u're marrying ur enemy). It is marriages that are based on such faulty foundations that have issues like the one raised by the OP.

Where there is love, a husband will see spending on his wife as spending on himself while the wife will respect her husband like she respects herself.

Evina:


The message communicated by the op is clear, strong and most importantly, one that you should learn from.

You guys are attacking her because she gave y'all the bitter pill which you can't comfortably swallow, so you resort to attacking her.

Very typical.

For Christ sake,why do people reason like this ? Op said that Nigerian men(your man inclusive ) are wack except her man and You see nothing wrong with such stooopid comment.

bamidele029:


I disagree , in those days our mothers did jobs like teaching or working in the civil service where they close like 4-5 pm so they get home before the husbands and have time to do household things. Now most women are doing jobs where they leave home as early as the man and they get back home around the same time in the night.

Yet the lazy Nigerian men want to sit on their bums and do nothing while the same woman who worked the same hours as you at the office is expected to take care of everything at home and then those same men will be going about shinning about how their wives no longer take care of themselves and are looking haggard . Why won't she look haggard when she's working almost round the clock while the man doesn't lift a finger.

The women in the west are able to balance things in the home front because their men contribute on the home front. And yes the women I know that work pay equal bills as their husbands .

By the way intelligent people are able to make their points and have a civilized discussion without insults

i wonder why the divorce rate is so high in the western countries since women in the west seems to have such perfect marriages with the most understanding husbands.

crackhaus:

Not only insulting, I also kill people.

Now tell me what message you want me to agree with? That the average Nigerian man is a hypocrite but the ones in your life are the exceptions, right?

Like I said, you ain't serious... Think thoroughly next time before coming up with topics like this, nonsense!

Chai, Oga you don finish this post finish. Na siddon look you put me now! She shot herself in the foot when she hypocritically sidelined her man out of the delusional equation she's imprinting on a Nigerian men.

bamidele029:


I disagree , in those days our mothers did jobs like teaching or working in the civil service where they close like 4-5 pm so they get home before the husbands and have time to do household things. Now most women are doing jobs where they leave home as early as the man and they get back home around the same time in the night.

Yet the lazy Nigerian men want to sit on their bums and do nothing while the same woman who worked the same hours as you at the office is expected to take care of everything at home and then those same men will be going about shinning about how their wives no longer take care of themselves and are looking haggard . Why won't she look haggard when she's working almost round the clock while the man doesn't lift a finger.

The women in the west are able to balance things in the home front because their men contribute on the home front. And yes the women I know that work pay equal bills as their husbands .

By the way intelligent people are able to make their points and have a civilized discussion without insults

Now I know how stupid nairaland ladies can be. Is the job thingy the fault of the man or the economy which cannot provide such 8am-4pm jobs anymore.

If you shape your coat according to your size you won't be too dreamy and thus life would not be so demanding. But u want your family to be sparkling and shining and so on so DAT you can boast . and walk around like u got it all. This is only as a result of your want. The mothers your comparing yourself too leaved a very simply life. Dey don't wanna go to the best restaurant , non drive a landcruser . all shes every after is that are family is doing fine . and she quite prayerful and supports the husband to reach higher. They were will to start from scratch.

Stupid naira lander girls. Sorry for the abusive words through, really not my style. I really don't like commenting here . but I gotta do this one. Cus ur just too stupid. .

My point is western women should be the ones copying from our women, not the other way round. Their own style have ensured that most marriages there have ended in divorce. While our style here ensures successful marriages. It is very clear. IF YOU WANT TO FAIL IN YOUR MARRIAGE COPY WESTERN WOMEN BUT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE THEN CONTINUE TO BE AN INDEPENDENT YET SUBMISSIVE AND HUMBLE NIGERIAN WIFE. The choice is yours!

dinachi:
Nigerian wives who are independent, submissive and humble are heroes loved dearly by their husbands,adored by their children. As for the few cursed, shallow, unwise and childish little girls here arguing blindly and foolishly confusing themselves with their imaginary image of what they want their husbands to be, I have one word for y'all. Dream on! Go and read about the richest black woman in the world Mrs Alakija and learn oh foolish woman that being successful does not mean you should be disrespectful and rude to your husband. We pick good ideas from western culture but we should not dump our own. It is time for western women to bring their asses down here and learn from the successful, hardworking, submissive and humble Nigerian wives. They need to learn some things from us. Their marriages and their men in the west will be better for it.

Can I ask you a honest question? What is your definition of a submissive wife? Some one who cooks for you 3 times a day? Someone who bears your children in pain, backs them to the market and back? Someone who can't contradict you even when you are wrong? Someone who is turned to a maid immediately she steps into your parent's house? Someone who washes your 10 pairs of jeans every weekend? Someone who cleans the whole house with a baby strapped to the back? Someone who shuffles between bathing your child and watching the food on fire? Someone who does all these and still has her job or business she needs to attend to? Someone who still brings at least 30% of the financial income in? In short, you want a slave? And you know quite alright that submission and respect is not necessarily the above listed? So please state your case. What exactly do you want from a woman? Since to our naija men, a woman who doesn't do the above is disrespectful.

I totally, I mean, completely...absolutely agree with u @ op.

netizenbuzz:

Can I ask you a honest question? What is your definition of a submissive wife? Some one who cooks for you 3 times a day? Someone who bears your children in pain, backs them to the market and back? Someone who can't contradict you even when you are wrong? Someone who is turned to a maid immediately she steps into your parent's house? Someone who washes your 10 pairs of jeans every weekend? Someone who cleans the whole house with a baby strapped to the back? Someone who shuffles between bathing your child and watching the food on fire? Someone who does all these and still has her job or business she needs to attend to? Someone who still brings at least 30% of the financial income in? In short, you want a slave? And you know quite alright that submission and respect is not necessarily the above listed? So please state your case. What exactly do you want from a woman? Since to our naija men, a woman who doesn't do the above is disrespectful.

You failed a very important test and I am highly disappointed in you. Submissiveness and humility is basically about your ATTITUDE not what you do or don't do. If you have these attributes as a wife, you will do all the things you mentioned above and more because THAT IS UR FAMILY. If you have a mindset that doing house chores is demeaning or that letting your husband be the leader of your household infringes on your rights as a woman, then you are not ready for primetime!

Mariopgomery:


i wonder why the divorce rate is so high in the western countries since women in the west seems to have such perfect marriages with the most understanding husbands.

I see people bringing up this argument everytime forgetting that there are many other factors involved in their high rate of divorce.

mhyra:
Some men Don't know what they want until they're stuck with someone they can Not change.. just be the kinda woman you want to be.. if they Don't like it..?? they should try creating someone who'd fit in their fantasy

I guess that only exit with bf/gf but marriage babe be prepared to sacrifice some part of of ur self

dinachi:
You failed a very important test and I am highly disappointed in you. Submissiveness and humility is basically about your ATTITUDE not what you do or don't do. If you have these attributes as a wife, you will do all the things you mentioned above and more because THAT IS UR FAMILY. If you have a mindset that doing house chores is demeaning or that letting your husband be the leader of your household infringes on your rights as a woman, then you are not ready for primetime!

Lol first of all, my comment was based on the thread I've observed among NLs. It's always as if any woman who doesn't do any of those is not respectful or submissive. It's funny how you say I should do all that because it is my family. Isn't it the man's family too? And yes, it is demeaning if I do all that without help and appreciation. Lastly, where in my comment did I ever imply that I don't want my husband to be the head of my family? Do you really think I want to be responsible for like 5 lives? Hell no. That's said, read my comment again and tell me your own definition of submission.

dinachi:
My point is western women should be the ones copying from our women, not the other way round. Their own style have ensured that most marriages there have ended in divorce. While our style here ensures successful marriages. It is very clear. IF YOU WANT TO FAIL IN YOUR MARRIAGE COPY WESTERN WOMEN BUT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE THEN CONTINUE TO BE AN INDEPENDENT YET SUBMISSIVE AND HUMBLE NIGERIAN WIFE. The choice is yours!

Yeah right, successful marriages. Ask how many women are actually happy in their marriages. I see the number of people who come to my mom for advice crying. They do all what is expected of them as wives but are still unhappy and have marital problems. It doesn't stop their men from cheating on them. This high divorce rate in the west which you are talking about, you are forgetting that there are other factors involved. I don't want to be a wife who will pretend to be happy when I'm not so that society can tag me a "good wife". So that I will hold resentment against my husband all my life and now end up in hell over lack of forgiveness?? God forbid.

firstEVA:
common stop acting like you know me, my post is about my observation on the Average Nigerian man, not all men, you'll be surprised that my man is nothing like the average Nigerian man

that's what you all say, spoken like a true hypocritical woman

Truckpusher:
See them.

The men simply got foreign wives from neighboring African countries and the ones that couldn't get a foreign wife made all the single and frustrated girls his baby mamas with each of them competing for his love.

Lol, the last time I checked, more women are actually marrying white men or nigerians in diaspora. Check your stats dude. Look at nollywood alone :p

crackhaus:

You're quite funny, what type of jobs do women do these days that keep them out of the house till night-time?

The only one I can think of right now is banking, and even some in this sector still get home and do some little chores they can manage...I know one on this very same NL - so what are you saying?

What jobs do women do now that is different from the ones our mothers did/do?


I don't know about your lazy man theory because I can't relate with it, but if a married woman feels coming home to prepare a meal for her husband is too much work, I guess she should hire a maid who will be preparing and serving madam's husband his dinner...yes?


What is your definition of equal bills?

Is it that every bill/expense is split equally right down the middle, or is it dependent on whomever is financially buoyant at that particular instant?

I'm sorry but not just banking. My mom is a civil engineer and are schedule is sometimes/most times worse of than that of bankers.

I still don't understand this argument, why do ladies feel guys should be responsible for them. Then why waste time going 2 school, since you can just marry and be a full time house wife.
And for those depending on their bf, wat happened to your parents. Your dad and mum have been working for probably 20 years each, that's like 40 years between them, if they cannot afford your need, y do u think a guy that's probably just started his career be the one to take care of you.
My take, ladies should have a level of independence, the bulk still goes to the guy, in marriage. But for boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, there is no composure to provide for her needs, if he does, good

crackhaus:

The ones I know in the real world don't have wives who complain like most of you on here, they have worked out a way to handle their bizniz effectively.

You mean their unhappy wives who can't say this shit in their presence? The same ones who advise we younger ones to shine our eyes? Okay.

slimmy05:
There is no bitter pill of any sort here. It's just the usual low self esteem and fight for equality.

Simply go marry a man, pay his groom price which is never possible. Save us all the fowl cry.

Ironically, I think you men are the ones suffering from low self esteem. Why are y'all so defensive?

deeptesting:


Dear i asked the OP a question which she has refused to answer.I am directing it to you if you could be of help.The question is what about those men that foots the entire bill, takes part in the home front even sent the woman to school to be a graduate and also sent her to acquire a professional skill, yet she is disrespectful to the man? I guess you girls are with the wrong men.

The woman is an ingrate. Life can be very unfair