ochon:
I don't believe this story. There's more to this story. I don't believe a sane man will blow up because his FIL bought his wife a car to help out. My guess is that there might be friction between them prior to getting that car, or some underlying issues that the OP is not privy to.

Speaking for myself, if my FIL bought my wife a car to alleviate the extra stress the OP opined, I won't be miffed ONLY if he's told me of his plan. He doesn't need my permission to buy the car, I just need to be told that he'll give my wife/his daughter a car. A simple call of "my son, I got your wife/my daughter a car to end the stress you are going through dropping and picking her up."

I'd thank him immensely and welcome such news with joy, because to me he's a caring FIL. I'd forever be indebted to him. But if he just pulls up with car and give it to my wife without any form of notice to me, not that it's a birthday gift or some sort of commemoration (nothing wrong in this situations), but to help the issue at hand, I won't be happy about it. We're a family, and in this situation, a call to let us know, is enough. It shows respect.

Sometimes doing something might be right, but THE WAY YOU GO ABOUT IT MIGHT BE WRONG.

I saw a lady saying "my husband MUST respect it whether he likes it or not." If this is how MARRIAGE between TWO people working together to achieve a COMMON goal is all about, then I hope she doesn't complain and accept the fact too, if her husband FÛCKS around and decide to do anything he wants without her opinion. Or decide to carry out decisions without her opinions. She should respect it too whether she likes it or not.

will you marry me?

*puppy face*

Hahahahahaahahahahaa....

Nonso23:


Go through the few threads on the first page of the famous family section.
I'm irritated by this conversation even. I've made my resolve and i'll stick with it. Henceforth it is civil for civil. Silly for silly. Crazy for crazy. Fair enough.
Until I master how to ignore such threads that is.

Lordreed and I have always being on different sides of the divide. He rides on the back of the obnoxious nature of the uncouth females here to make a mockery of himself. He is his own problem, not mine.

No one has the monopoly over insults.

LoL! I am supposed to say "hey don't agree with my post cos the boys will hate me" right? Sheesh.

thandii1:



You are a self-respecting individual. Even in the face of provocation and taunting, you have acted with utmost decorum. May God continue to bless and keep your home.


@topic. My dad bought the car my sister is using presently. She had issues with her former car and my dad bought her a new one. My BIL drives that car whenever his car is faulty. My dad did not buy it because my BIL and sister could not afford it, he did because he loves the family so much and just felt like easing the 'burden' so that they could channel the money into something else and my BIL appreciated it. My sister's inlaws also bought the most expensive items on her baby's list even though she could afford it. These gifts havent stripped any of them of their self esteem because they understand what family is.

I just laugh at the comments made by the boys in here. Majority of them are neither made nor married, so it's understandable. Hopefully, the energy channelled into online gender war and ego checking is being used in their offline lives to become self respecting ,successful grown men.

None of them can be like my son ochon... Husband material too badt

I pray that i never be become a widower or my wife become a widow. What changes in the last 5 years since i got married? Has it become a do or die affairs with the female folks?

What happens to constructive criticism and argument? Must it be my way or the high way?

There is a reason why two people will leave their families and become one.

Just like most male folks stated, context is everything. No sane man will say no to anything that will alleviate his family finances or make life better for them. But, if the gift comes with a hidden agenda, no sane man will accept it.

I have a good relationship with my FIL (my best friend) and my wife have a good relationship with her MIL (she even talk to my mum more than me). I am part of his family just like my wife is part of my family. I respect my FIL and he also respected me. In situation that the OP mentioned, i know my FIL will call to discuss it with 'US' just like i use to call him and seek his opinion sometimes before i buy some gift for his wife. Everything comes down to respect.

Sidenote
Why is it that all the male are against this issue (except for 1 male ) and most the females are in support?
You dont go into marriage with a set mind and expect it to work. Marriage is more of give and take.

Im his mother send in your CV and fill in the application form

Teespice:


will you marry me?

*puppy face*

LordReed:


You truly have to be amazed at this kind of thinking. If second wife equals car then first wife must be bicycle, lol. No wonder they assume the women are some kind of thing you buy in the market and becomes your property.

Even Jesus wey use him Blood buy us no reach this one

Nonso23:


You are lucky things have died down before you posted this. The women on here would have had your head for dinner

That is why i dont pray to become a widower or my wife become a widow.

Most of the comments are scary ( might be some of the ladies are not yet married. Marriage changes some of our outlook, expectation and opinion).

Or, am i old skool?

Mondisweets:
Im his mother send in your CV and fill in the application form

ahn ahn

Oya where is the form?

Teespice:


ahn ahn

Oya where is the form?

Wait let me go get it quickly

Nonso23:

Sorry i'm yet to see the two uncouth ladies i engaged back on this thread? I just will not start the cycle but i have no problem playing along.
How large is the pile driver needed to drive it into your thick skull that i am capable of matching stupidity and ignorance till the culprits back out.

I don't care about your opinions about me or other people especially on this thread till you pull off your self righteous lens of hypocrisy. When i'm done catching my fun i'll move on to other things.

Don't you get it. This conversation is IRRITATING.

But You keep coming back for the irritating conversation

I called you out because you were whining about the inability to have a decent argument in here due to obnoxious female posters. The male posters are equally guilty. The evidence is still on this thread.

You are not making any sense anymore bro. I've made my point, moving on..

Do enjoy the rest of your WarAgainstObnoxiousFemales. Lol

Cheers!

Mondisweets:
you will not kill me with laughter

i pray o

Nonso23:


Go through the few threads on the first page of the famous family section.
I'm irritated by this conversation even. I've made my resolve and i'll stick with it. Henceforth it is civil for civil. Silly for silly. Crazy for crazy. Fair enough.
Until I master how to ignore such threads that is.

Lordreed and I have always being on different sides of the divide. He rides on the back of the obnoxious nature of the uncouth females here to make a mockery of himself. He is his own problem, not mine.

No one has the monopoly over insults.

So because LordReed is not on your side of the divide, he is making a mockery of hinself?

And who made your side the right one?

And you are complaining of other posters

It is okay

coogar:


odin forbid!
that task is your forte. patronising the weaker sėx to get your napë rubbed is the main objective of any skët-saving captain.

you remind me of a folklore i heard about years ago. there was this dude(i was told) on this forum with your attitude. he would defend the womenfolk to the hilt. he even confessed to having washed undies of his partners in the past & reh reh reh.

few weeks after his self-confession, about a dozen chics bombarded his email begging him to have their babies. some of the dozen chics included married women & a 44-year-old tpia. as far as the dude was concerned, it was mission accomplished.

few months later, same chics came on NL to cry how they have been scammed by the dude. half of them withdrew their students loans & personal savings to consolidate their union with this dude. in the end, they got burnt with multiple gnashing of the teeth.

the brainless bimbos consigning your comments & copping clïtoral erectiöns with your comments don't deserve my pity. don't get me wrong - i ain't saying you are a scammer & even if you are one, it's not my intention to knock your hustle. the whimsical coogar just wonders if history will repeat itself......scratch that, the cynical coogar wants history to repeat itself.

Dayuuuum!!!

Coogz, don't tell me the women on this forum are that desperate and dumb?

Who's that nyggah? - he has to be the greatest dream seller to ever walketh on NL!!

Definitely a first ballot hall of fame candidate!

LordReed:


Mangina because I want to give my own daughter a gift? LoL! When you become a father look at your daughter's face and tell yourself you will seek permission from her future husband before you give her a gift, lemme see how much of a misogynist you can be looking at your own baby girl.

Honestly, what I said to you has nothing to do with the topic itself. The topic is too short, and vague, for me to have an opinion. Hence I never posted anything prior to calling you out. And I still don't have an opinion. The OP never talked about the relationship between the man and his FIL, and context is everything.

I called you out because of your tendency to always look at things from the female's perspective. Last week (or two weeks ago), you asserted that you were just doing it for fun, and playing the devil's advocate. However, it seems it's slowly but surely creeping into you subconsciously. Once you get caught up in it, you will start believing your own hype based on the fictitious folks egging you on, on this medium. And you might start transferring your character on here to your everyday life - and that's problematic. You can never win playing a role, or looking at things, from a perspective that's not innate to you. It's just basically like playing your opponent's game in any sport. Thus denying yourself any chance of winning cos 9 out of 10 times, you can never beat people in their own game/comfort-zone. To have any chance of winning, you've to play your own game - and stick to doing things, based on your perspective as a guy.

Relationship between a man and a woman has to symbiotic, with both parties bringing what's natural to them - to the table. Hence both sexes are different in a lot of ways, and everything is structured for both to maximise their natural gifts. However, once you leave your own comfort zone, and start playing female - it negates what makes you a man. Thus giving undue advantage to the female in her comfort zone. You don't pander to people - you just play your role. Hence I called you a mangina. If you've got a gf/partner, you can experiment your character on here in your relationship for a week, and see the reaction you're going to get.

Most of the chics in this section are kids with family issues, and single mums with marital issues. And their musings and thought-process are based on jejune tales and ideologies they try to find solace in, to mask their insecurities. There's no point taking them seriously. Their opinions are always harebrained and devoid of what's practicable in reality. Hence they're mostly uncouth, and when you clap-back at them (which you always have to do as a grown man and the protector...you should never let a woman talk shiit/down to/on you), they'll start playing the victim tune - like Kool and the Gang. If you haven't noticed, the old and married ones (in stable marriages ) among them rarely contribute to threads like this one. And that's basically because they've got a better understanding of things. Just stop playing to the gallery with these kids.

Nonso23:

I'm not interested in taking this thread serious, not now, not ever.

I own my opinions, i do not apologise for them and i choose to share it when i want to and with whom i want to. Right now i don't feel so generous.

Well everyone is entitled to their opinions and I sincerely hope you do not mind if another poster's opinion of you is insultive.

bukatyne:


So because LordReed is not on your side of the divide, he is making a mockery of hinself?

And who made your side the right one?

And you are complaining of other posters

It is okay

Don't mind them, what a childish way to reason. So many little boys here masquerading as men, nairaland is about giving your opinion. State yours and you can choose to disagree with others but it's pathetic how they try and convince us sane man who has enough guts not to join the pack and stand on his own opinion is pretending.

Very insecure little boys

carefreewannabe:


So? What if we never get married, which is very possible because we are not big fans of marriage unless for pragmatic reasons, we can't be a family?

The circumstances are very very different, u don't walk out of marriage same way u walk out of relationships.

SirShymex:


Honestly, what I said to you has nothing to do with the topic itself. The topic is too short, and vague, for me to have an opinion. Hence I never posted anything prior to calling you out. And I still don't have an opinion. The OP never talked about the relationship between the man and his FIL, and context is everything.

I called you out because of your tendency to always look at things from the female's perspective. Last week (or two weeks ago), you asserted that you were just doing it for fun, and playing the devil's advocate. However, it seems it's slowly but surely creeping into you subconsciously. Once you get caught up in it, you will start believing your own hype based on the fictitious folks egging you on, on this medium. And you might start transferring your character on here to your everyday life - and that's problematic. You can never win playing a role, or looking at things, from a perspective that's not innate to you. It's just basically like playing your opponent's game in any sport. Thus denying yourself any chance of winning cos 9 out of 10 times, you can never beat people in their own game/comfort-zone. To have any chance of winning, you've to play your own game - and stick to doing things, based on your perspective as a guy.

Every opinion I post here is 100% mine, I take full ownership. There is nothing fictitious about my posts, I am me, love me or hate me is entirely up to you.

Relationship between a man and a woman has to symbiotic, with both parties bringing what's natural to them - to the table. Hence both sexes are different in a lot of ways, and everything is structured for both to maximise their natural gifts. However, once you leave your own comfort zone, and start playing female - it negates what makes you a man. Thus giving undue advantage to the female in her comfort zone. You don't pander to people - you just play your role. Hence I called you a mangina. If you've got a gf/partner, you can experiment your character on here in your relationship for a week, and see the reaction you're going to get.

FYI I am very married, to the most beautiful, understanding and caring woman a man can have the pleasure of having as a wife. There's nothing to experiment except become the opposite of what I am.

Most of the chics in this section are kids with family issues, and single mums with marital issues. And their musings and thought-process are based on jejune tales and ideologies they try to find solace in, to mask their insecurities. There's no point taking them seriously. Their opinions are always harebrained and devoid of what's practicable in reality. Hence they're mostly uncouth, and when you clap-back at them (which you always have to do as a grown man and the protector...you should never let a woman talk shiit/down to/on you), they'll start playing the victim tune - like Kool and the Gang. If you haven't noticed, the old and married ones (in stable marriages ) among them rarely contribute to threads like this one. And that's basically because they've got a better understanding of things. Just stop playing to the gallery with these kids.

When they start handing out prizes for playing to the gallery, I will compete with all gusto, LoL.

LordReed:

Every opinion I post here is 100% mine, I take full ownership. There is nothing fictitious about my posts, I am me, love me or hate me is entirely up to you.

FYI I am very married, to the most beautiful, understanding and caring woman a man can have the pleasure of having as a wife. There's nothing to experiment except become the opposite of what I am.

When they start handing out prizes for playing to the gallery, I will compete with all gusto, LoL.

Err, you said you were playing the devil's advocate the last time. What changed? You got caught up in the hype, and decided to ride the wave, no? - I like that.

Life is about the survival of the fittest, and everything in life, either consciously or subconsciously is competitive by nature. That's the natural instinct. And what makes us human. Heck, every human being competes within himself/herself, hence you always have two conflicting inner introspection of things. Good vs. bad. God vs. devil. Depending on what your mentality is. Siblings compete. Friends compete. Families compete. Evidently, it's only natural for male and female to always compete. That was why a natural hierarchical structure was created - to limit the competition to an extent - and maximise the symbiosis of the relationship a la civilisation. Rules of engagement. Morals. Commandments. Etc..

Basically, you're entitled to your opinions. And I don't believe those attacking you are doing so, based on your opinions. It has more to do with you being hypothetical and positing your theories, from an opposing perspective - under male banner. That's an asinine thing to do. You need to understand that: just as women are always emotional, men are also very passionate especially when it comes to their egos (balls of steel lol). So, when you're under that banner - you can't pander to emotional beings and their innate emotional impulses. Also, when you do that, expect people to always call you out.

Guys like you are the ones who always end up getting friendzoned. Most women are naturally attracted to those who can dominate them. Hence you see most of them salivating over strong physical forces of nature - in lieu of weak guys. The roles are there, and regardless of how folks want to live in denial - thus having internal conflicts with what was instilled in them from a young age, and the society, based on insecurities - no one can change reality. Stop it. Leave the yin and yang, the symbiotic relationship alone, and stop trying to project everyone into only the female perspective.

Anyway, you sound like the comedian, Steve Harvey. A guy who can't keep a woman, and has been married three times. Yet he can walk around like an expert in relationships, with women as his clients. Then write a book telling women to "Think like a man" with women making it a best seller. That's how most women function - and why a comic can hoodwink them with comic relief, and ride that wave to wealth. He's a comedian for a reason...and his calling is to make people laugh - not reality. Not knocking your hustle but whatever folks say to you also comes with the territory.

Regardless, stop telling porkies - you're not married.

SirShymex:


Err, you said you were playing the devil's advocate the last time. What changed? You got caught up in the hype, and decided to ride the wave, no? - I like that.

Life is about the survival of the fittest, and everything in life, either consciously or subconsciously is competitive by nature. That's the natural instinct. And what makes us human. Heck, every human being competes within himself/herself, hence you always have two conflicting inner introspection of things. Good vs. bad. God vs. devil. Depending on what your mentality is. Siblings compete. Friends compete. Families compete. Evidently, it's only natural for male and female to always compete. That was why a natural hierarchical structure was created - to limit the competition to an extent - and maximise the symbiosis of the relationship a la civilisation. Rules of engagement. Morals. Commandments. Etc..

Basically, you're entitled to your opinions. And I don't believe those attacking you are doing so, based on your opinions. It has more to do with you being hypothetical and positing your theories, from an opposing perspective - under male banner. That's an asinine thing to do. You need to understand that: just as women are always emotional, men are also very passionate especially when it comes to their egos (balls of steel lol). So, when you're under that banner - you can't pander to emotional beings and their innate emotional impulses. Also, when you do that, expect people to always call you out.

Guys are like you are the ones who always end up getting friendzoned. Most women are naturally attracted to those who can dominate them. Hence you see most of them salivating over strong physical forces of nature - in lieu of weak guys. The roles are there, and regardless of how folks want to live in denial - thus having internal conflicts with what was instilled in them from a young age, and the society, based on insecurities - no one can change reality. Stop it. Leave the yin and yang, the symbiotic relationship alone, and stop trying to project everyone into only the female perspective.

Anyway, you sound like the comedian, Steve Harvey. A guy who can't keep a woman, and has been married three times. Yet he can walk around like an expert in relationships, with women as his clients. Then write a book telling women to "Think like a man" with women making it a best seller. That's how most women function - and why a comic can hoodwink them with comic relief, and ride that wave to wealth. He's a comedian for a reason...and his calling is to make people laugh - not reality. Not knocking your hustle but whatever folks say to you also comes with the territory.

Regardless, stop telling porkies - you're not married.

Folk like you are usually so steeped in lies you can see nothing but. I won't waste my time attempting to prove anything to you. I've told you love me hate me your serve mate, I remain me.

LordReed:


Folk like you are usually so steeped in lies you can see nothing but. I won't waste my time attempting to prove anything to you. I've told you love me hate me your serve mate, I remain me.

Lol, now you're getting emotional like a chic. Can you see why I told you to change clothes and become 'Ladyreed'?

I don't know you to hate you...but playing ostrich, whilst engulfed in white knight syndrome is nauseating.

Err, I actually like how you write and create things to encourage conversations. However, your perspective is somewhat emetic, and it makes me wanna puke sometimes. Get back to the basics, my nyggah.

SirShymex:


Lol, now you're getting emotional like a chic. Can you see why I told you to change clothes and become 'Ladyreed'?

I don't know you to hate you...but playing ostrich, whilst engulfed in white knight syndrome is nauseating.

Err, I actually like how you write and create things to encourage conversations. However, your perspective is somewhat emetic, and it makes me wanna puke sometimes. Get back to the basics, my nyggah.

LoL me emotional? Meanwhile it is you about to puke, how so very rich. Want some smelling salts to hasten your upchuck? LoL.