Okay, here goes the story, I am caught in between two friends.

Husband used to work for a bank, he got set up for some fraud which he didn't commit. He tells his wife he is innocent and he will fight it legally. He told his wife who he suspects set him up.
True to his words the guy was promoted to his position while the husband was being investigated. He assures wife he will fight and win as he has evidence to back up his claim.

The man spends 2 months in custody till his case is heard and he is granted bail, he comes out continues the case proves his innocence and the whole web of fraud is discovered. Some big Ogas and the guy he fingered are arrested.

Now here is the problem. He found that his wife was collecting money almost 2 times in the 2 months he was in custody from the man who set him up. She works, even though his own accounts were frozen while he was in custody he made provision for her and the kids before the wahala started. He insists she was party to the set up or she is cheating on him. She says she needed help with lawyer fees. Lawyer says he did most of it pro bono as they were long term friends and the only money he received from her was from the guys brother who living abroad who sent money to help out with legal fees.

The guy wants a divorce, he has moved out, madam is pleading her innocence, people are saying forgive, he is very principled and says no way because he had already told her the guy was his suspect so why even have anything to do with him. She insists she is innocent.

I knew the guy before I knew her, we are all friends but I know him not to ever bend if he believes in something.

I don't know what to say, everyone is already in this issue, I want to ask here what men would do in the guys shoes and if any woman would go to her husband’s enemies for help when he is in trouble

Tough one. Maybe she was blackmailing the bad guy.

I think he needs time. what if he walks away and she's telling the truth. ask her for exactly how she spent the money. if he's right about her, it's a decision only he can make but he really shouldn't rush to judge so harshly until he's sure she's right. meanwhile all the one you said they held him for two months, I'm sure that scarred him. that guy needs help. police custody is a horrible experience

I would have done the same.

Meanwhile, did she tell him why she collected money from the guy?

Has he ever suspected any link between his wife and the "philanthropist" guy?

The wife must confess reason(s) she collected money from the guy if there is ever going to be a way forward.

They need time apart to go ruminate.

That should heal him. It's not easy to just forgive like that. He has to come to the realization without her presence.

bellong:

I would have done the same.

Meanwhile, did she tell him why she collected money from the guy?

Has he ever suspected any link between his wife and the "philanthropist" guy?

The wife must confess reason(s) she collected money from the guy if there is ever going to be a way forward.

She said the guy asked to help with legal bills.

Rawdeal:
I think he needs time. what if he walks away and she's telling the truth. ask her for exactly how she spent the money. if he's right about her, it's a decision only he can make but he really shouldn't rush to judge so harshly until he's sure she's right. meanwhile all the one you said they held him for two months, I'm sure that scarred him. that guy needs help. police custody is a horrible experience

He has been out for a while, case dragged on for almost a year before the real culprits were uncovered. He is mentally fine, he was trying to help her move data to a new phone when he discovered the transfers from the guy to his wife, I think it was saved as back up or something

Its like mixing poison with rice for hubby....i don't support divorce but they need to separate for a while...

The wife needs to go to her parents house and think to find some moment of clearity to differentiate between an enemy and Friend....

She's faning the man who's killing her husband...why on earth would u collect money from the same man that got ur husband locked up

Some people and greed. How did she think this would end? With him saying "all is forgiven"? How can she be dining with the devil and not use a long spoon? She is definitely in cahoots with the guy. Probably feeding him with stories on how his case was progressing. Maybe she wanted to elope with him at the end.

Even if she is not part of it, he should run away from her. She can kill. To make matters worse, she is still lying that she used the money for lawyers fees. I can be so vindictive, if it was me i would thoroughly disgrace her before i sever contact with her.

bellong:

I would have done the same.

Meanwhile, did she tell him why she collected money from the guy?

Has he ever suspected any link between his wife and the "philanthropist" guy?

The wife must confess reason(s) she collected money from the guy if there is ever going to be a way forward.

why would she lie that she was collecting lawyer fees? That alone raises a lot questions.

If she can give a very good reason why she did what she did, then good.

Else, the pleading and begging na wash.

A friend that dines with the enemy is more dangerous than the enemy himself.

aisha2:


She said the guy asked to help with legal bills.

didn't the lawyer say he paid the bills himself?

aisha2:
Okay, here goes the story, I am caught in between two friends.

Husband used to work for a bank, he got set up for some fraud which he didn't commit. He tells his wife he is innocent and he will fight it legally. He told his wife who he suspects set him up.

Why does he suspect his wife? Does he have proof? Was it before, or is it as a result of the money transfers between his wife and the main culprit?

TV

I support the man in this case, why will she go and meet her husband's enemy in the first place ?

But i think it shouldn't result to divorce even though it will be hard to believe that the so called enemy didn't have anything to do with her before giving her money , infact i find it impossible .

aisha2:


She said the guy asked to help with legal bills.

She is not telling the truth. She could have told the guy that the lawyer is doing it pro-bono. She could come up with a better and reasonable lie.

BABE3:


why would she lie that she was collecting lawyer fees? That alone raises a lot questions.

If she can give a very good reason why she did what she did, then good.

Else, the pleading and begging na wash.

A friend that dines with the enemy is more dangerous than the enemy himself.

I wonder too...

TV01:

Why does he suspect his wife? Does he have proof? Was it before, or is it as a result of the money transfers between his wife and the main culprit?

TV

He didn't suspect his wife. He was telling his wife who he suspected.

aisha2:
Okay, here goes the story, I am caught in between two friends.

Husband used to work for a bank, he got set up for some fraud which he didn't commit. He tells his wife he is innocent and he will fight it legally. He told his wife who he suspects set him up.
True to his words the guy was promoted to his position while the husband was being investigated. He assures wife he will fight and win as he has evidence to back up his claim.

The man spends 2 months in custody till his case is heard and he is granted bail, he comes out continues the case proves his innocence and the whole web of fraud is discovered. Some big Ogas and the guy he fingered are arrested.

Now here is the problem. He found that his wife was collecting money almost 2 times in the 2 months he was in custody from the man who set him up. She works, even though his own accounts were frozen while he was in custody he made provision for her and the kids before the wahala started. He insists she was party to the set up or she is cheating on him. She says she needed help with lawyer fees. Lawyer says he did most of it pro bono as they were long term friends and the only money he received from her was from the guys brother who living abroad who sent money to help out with legal fees.

The guy wants a divorce, he has moved out, madam is pleading her innocence, people are saying forgive, he is very principled and says no way because he had already told her the guy was his suspect so why even have anything to do with him. She insists she is innocent.

I knew the guy before I knew her, we are all friends but I know him not to ever bend if he believes in something.

I don't know what to say, everyone is already in this issue, I want to ask here what men would do in the guys shoes and if any woman would go to her husband’s enemies for help when he is in trouble

am not turning this to politics pls but if he is as principled as u said, then no point pleading with him. I think this happended to buhari as well and we knw how that turned out

I also asked if she needed money badly why not come to us his friends. Or his family besides the guy Says he hardly had savings, all the money was mostly to their joint account or her account and she has a well paying job. I am guessing its a case of being unable to say no to " free money"


The guy is not one to make rash decisions, since we were kids he decides on something he sticks to it, he is just interested in finishing divorce proceedings and working on child custody, she still thinks the marriage can be salvaged. Knowing him I doubt that. He has already paid 2 year rent in the place he got. He left the bank and got compensation and he is building a new house and running a business. He is actively planning a life without her

TV01:

Why does he suspect his wife? Does he have proof? Was it before, or is it as a result of the money transfers between his wife and the main culprit?

TV

He told his wife who he suspected. It was long after he discovered the contact between his wife and the man, hw checked the dates and discovered it was during his period in custody

aisha2:


The guy is not one to make rash decisions, since we were kids he decides on something he sticks to it, he is just interested in finishing divorce proceedings and working on child custody, she still thinks the marriage can be salvaged. Knowing him I doubt that. He has already paid 2 year rent in the place he got. He left the bank and got compensation and he is building a new house and running a business. He is actively planning a life without her

With this, only divine intervention can help her. she is a "goner".

The husband should run far away and not continue with the marriage until she explains why

1. She agreed for the man to 'help' even when her husband confided in her that the said helper set him up
2. Why she lied about the legal fees
3. Why she did not tell her husband that the man gave her money
4. What exactly she used the money for.

The answers would determine the way forward

Nexxy007:
am not turning this to politics pls but if he is as principled as u said, then no point pleading with him. I think this happended to buhari as well and we knw how that turned out

Lol, I also remembered Buhari’s case when I heard this happened. I thought Buhari was being too rigid but now that its happening to someone I know I somehow understand. I can imagine how I will feel if I was set up in jail and the person who set me up is cooking for my husband even when he knows that this is who sent me to jail

The woman shouldn't even argue , I'm with the man on this 1. Of all the people she could have asked for financial help it was the person her husband suspected that she turned to. She probably was having an affair with him. Even if the man offered to help, she should have said no and not collected the guilty conscience money.

The guy felt betrayed....its like the wife was collecting money gotten from selling the guy...*shudders*

My problem with this is that he was just jailed for 2 months, was that enough to go looking for money from those not close to your husband? Did she not believe her husband?

The priest, the wedding chairman etc have all tried to beg he just states his reasons clearly and insists the marriage is over

bellong:
He didn't suspect his wife. He was telling his wife who he suspected.

My bad, I put the comma in the wrong place !

Then I need this explained before I comment further;

aisha2:
She says she needed help with lawyer fees. Lawyer says he did most of it pro bono as they were long term friends and the only money he received from her was from the guys brother who living abroad who sent money to help out with legal fees.

aisha2:
She insists she is innocent.

She has cast doubt on that by not explaining why she took money from the main culprit and why he would help someone he set-up?

aisha2:
I knew the guy before I knew her, we are all friends but I know him not to ever bend if he believes in something.

What do you think about his call in this case - and you must have had impressions of his wife, what are your thoughts?

TV

^{...please, what happened to General Buhari}

I'm with the husband on this. How on earth cud d wife av done dat. She knew he set her husband up and went ahead to collect money from him. Infact, she should also be interrogated. During d 2 months her husband was in custody, was she not in contact with him? If she was dat broke, she wud av told him and he wud av probably sent a trusted friend to give her money. She even lied dat it's for legal fees. Haba, she is d main enemy joor

Nothing can be said to salvage the situation. Only God can do something here since he hardly renegades on his decision.

Women looking for trouble where there was non since the days of Adam

TV01:

My bad, I put the comma in the wrong place !

Then I need this explained before I comment further;



She has cast doubt on that by not explaining why she took money from the main culprit and why he would help someone he set-up?


What do you think about his call in this case - and you must have had impressions of his wife, what are your thoughts?

TV

^{...please, what happened to General Buhari}

Lol Buhari’s wife was jailed by IBB and his late wife went collecting money from IBB, he divorced her as soon as he came out of jail and discovered, he didn't quite forgive her despite begging from people till she died, he said he forgave her but he had remarried and moved on and couldn't have two wives something like that.

As for the questions thats what I asked and those were the answers she gave
I pleaded for the truth so we could at least beg him with a full confession she said that was it and she acted innocently.

As for what I think,my friend is a total family man,his life is his family, he is committed to whatever he does fully no funny business I guess he expected the same loyalty and high standard from her. I think she messed up and I told her so, she says it was a mistake. I can only appeal that he forgives but knowing him he may just tolerate her for their kids sake but I doubt he will stay married.

This woman undid herself, her greed ruined her marriage , she should live with it. I will stop begging the man if I were you Aisha.

byvan:
This woman undid herself, her greed ruined her marriage , she should live with it. I will stop begging the man if I were you Aisha.

I actually felt I was being too hard on her because he was more my friend than she is hence I said let me ask neutral people

Assuming d man didn't see that, it will go with d wind abi?

Don't ever try to play smart by betraying a man or trampling on his ego.

She did d two.
Voila, men don't forgive that. Full stop.

She should ask Mandela and buhari.

If I were a judge, she is a suspect also.

Innocent act indeed! Fish brain.

aisha2:


I actually felt I was being too hard on her because he was more my friend than she is hence I said let me ask neutral people

I will stay clear of such people.
She can't be trusted at all.

TWO things stand out...Loyalty n fidelity.
1, The wife is not loyal.(hoes aint loyal) for people like me who value loyalty very high...She messed up big time.
2, Fidelity..this one is doubtful.

CONCLUSION: She complicated issues when she hid the fact the was collecting money from her husbands 'enemy'. My advice, let him go..i strongly suspect she was also sleeping with the guy. Support the divorce. The woman does not deserve him, period!