Kingklent:
which church do you attend

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

Bobbysworld28:

Sowing seeds to god of men does absolutely nothing in ur life. Quote me: NOTHING!
It neither makes u rich nor poor, ok. U better use dt money to help the less privileged around u.
Staying too long on a prayer point is useless too. Jesus taught dt God does not hear u because of ur vain repititions
If u r led by d Holy Spirit u should display his virtues and one of such is excellence. It is not bad if u brush up ur English to acceptable standards as an ambassador.

Finally we dont want to know how rich u r. Take dt info to ur family members in ur village

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there. Lols is this for real or you just cooking up stories. Can't stop lafing jor

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

Abosi31:


#1. Screaming into Microphones:

Oga, there’s a reason why the thing is called a microphone. It is to be talked into, or even whispered into (if your voice as loud as mine). There’s no need to shout into the mike. It pains the ears of the worshippers close to the speakers. And then, we all end up leaving church with our ears ringing. The worst part is when you people now scream in tongues during general prayers, unto God- with mike! Shey God will not hear you if you don’t use the mike? Haba!


#2. Breaking Bottles on our Heads:

Have you ever sat in a church and the pastor, during his sermon speaks grammar that makes you lose anointing? Jeez, me too! A pastor will go like: “Go to the extreme end, and call that sister. That demon has to be pursued out now-now!” The demon in the instance will even begin to laugh seriously. One thing that pains me is that these pastors have no regard most times for us, they don’t mind breaking our heads with those unscrupulous grammar and pronunciations,  because they're operating from cloud nine. Make una calm down, thank you.


#3. Staying on one Prayer Point for too long:

I personally detest this. Some pastors will make a simple prayer like, ‘God bless my family’ and turn it into a marathon race. They will stay on one topic for hours, and ginger and ginger us not to stop. It gets boring oh, Pastor. We are Nigerians and we get bored easily.


#4. Asking for too much:

I don’t mean financially this time. Some pastors are like some of our presidential candidates. They are born dictators and control freaks, and only hide behind the pulpit to force us to do things. I personally don’t like when a pastor says: “Walk to fifty-five people and welcome them to service this morning.” It causes problems for ushers as the church becomes rowdy. Also, some pastors like their congregation to repeat every sentence they say fourteen times, or obey every single order to the smallest detail. How will a pastor tell us: “Lift up your right hand and place it on your left breast, then put your left hand under your right shoulder. The anointing is about to flow.”? (Okay I'm exaggerating again), but how on earth are we supposed to pull that off?

#5. Ending every Sermon with Seed-Sowing:

Aha. I put this one last because it's the one you've been expecting to see. These days, even a sermon on how saints will be ruptured on the last day ends with certain pastors making alter calls for people interested in sowing seeds. This is after the church has collected like three times offering already oh. You should stop this oh. Sometimes we your congregation get milked in service to the extent that we also use our transport money to sow a seed. We really humans oh.

Kingklent:
are you a born again christian

Abosi31:
Okay now that's extreme. Jeez. Remember the case of one pastor that slapped a minion that year? She was a kid!

searching4love:




That's the situation we find ourselves in. People worship pastors and fail to use their brains. Many brainwashed goons on this thread ready to attack you and i

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

valmunich:

Hehehe


Most of these is the reason why I'm gradually giving up on religion and engrossing morality embedded in rationalism

Mishydoo:





[size=17pt]One Pastor killed my patient.Told her to stop taking her HIV meds and drink holy water.she died the next week after 3weeks of drinkin fake holy water[/size]

messpero90:
listen u dis dickhead op, u re so childish in ur thought, IF d pastors re nt suppose 2 scream with d microphone den y is musicians shouting their lungs out while singing? do u even know d importance of seed sowing in ur life? anyway when ure rich as i am u will undastand, why will u eva pick out d grammatical error of pastors at all? as if ure perfect in english. ur mates re getting d blessings from d message, "u are recieving curses. nd let me tell u wen a pastor stay lng on a prayer point, he is being led by d holy ghost so u dnt question wat u dnt understand. so pls little kid just focus on ur goals in life nd dnt argue wat u dnt undastand. 4 d ways of men are nt d ways of GOD.

holyokoto:


Hope you are not referring to Oyedepo?

aminae:



MY DEAR DO NOT LET THAT STOP U FRM SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT RELIGION, THE BIBLE SAYS SEARCH AND YOU WILL FIND.
WE HAVE SO MANY FALSE PROPHET BUT KEEP ON SEARCHING AND BACK IT UP WITH PRAYER GOD WILL REWARD YOUR SEARCH.!

valmunich:

Sorry missy, have heard this crap thousands of times. I've gotten to discover that earthly lives can be more joyful, meaningful and "healthy" when not lived within narrow limits set by faith-related concerns for the state of an individual's soul

However, God is dead to his own generation of men and women , killed by an indifference that was itself directly related to a pronounced cultural shift away from faith towards rationalism and morality.

i

Lionhearted:
This remind me of my service year in Edo.

The church I went to then is apparently fond of offerings. At least five offerings if I remembered right.

You will dance and dance and dance to the front for each offering.

But I don't succumb to such. Only one offering each Sunday is enough for me. The rest I will just sit alone while the whole church is dancing their way to the front. Three sundays of doing that some other people started doing like me.

Needless to say the Pastor came to see me in my lodge saying "Corper pls stop doing like this. You are encouraging others to do so too"

Mhizkel:
Op u forgot to include d part where Some pastors will ask u to hold d hands of a member near u for a special prayer point..I pity u if u by mistake go hold hands of person wey be lyk HULK HOGAN... I tink u know d rest

Cityguy:

Hahahahahahaha. Na wa!

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

Mhizkel:
I'm tellin u

Cityguy:

Am not saying you lied but go through what you typed perhaps you might see what to edit.

Mishydoo:

Am nt sayin ur a Dum.bass but why nt ask questions bro,ppl get lost in my statements atimes.

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin
My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.