Cityguy:

Are you done? Or is it that you are just incorrigible? If people get lost in your statements, it probably means you don't communicate and need to check ur processing unit for coherence. What I referred you to doesn't merit your tantrumic ejaculations and abuse. You alleged your person was told to take something else rather than recommended drugs and died A WEEK after. Yet you claimed she took it 3 WEEKS! You should be thanking me instead of your rant.

Cityguy:

Are you done? Or is it that you are just incorrigible? If people get lost in your statements, it probably means you don't communicate and need to check ur processing unit for coherence. What I referred you to doesn't merit your tantrumic ejaculations and abuse. You alleged your person was told to take something else rather than recommended drugs and died A WEEK after. Yet you claimed she took it 3 WEEKS! You should be thanking me instead of your rant.

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
in developed countries, there are strict acoustic regulations that auditoria like churches, mosques etc must meet for sound absorption and transmission. you will pass a church without knowing anything is happening. no matter how loud a preacher shouts into the mic, it does not affect the ears adversely. pastors spend so much building churches but think paying acoustic specialiats is a waste. building regulatory agencies also dont help matters either, just like our president they dont give a damn.

Junipero:
Saw a video of Pst.Chris firing invisible-fireballs at the congregation.

He was like : "You want some? You really want some? Collect the annointing!!" . The congregation kept falling over their seats each time he spread his hands in a 'firing' motion.


This is not Dragonball Z nor Street Fighter, Pastors please una no be Goku nor Piccolo nor M.Bison nor Liu Kang.

ChokolateBoss:
Nice thread.
On d big bang theory, u need to read and learn more about it before u label it as silly. It is d most rational and best explanation of creation so far.
And don't think its an atheist 'thing', it even somewhat proves d xtian doctrine of creation out of nothing but d Word of God.
The genius professor of astrophysics who 1st proposed d theory is a catholic priest and many men of faith always agreee with it

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

Chrystover:
Oh.. So I'm not alone in this? Thanks Op for bringing this up.
On the part of screaming into the mics, its not only the church members that suffer the ear-aches; I equally suffer this noise pollution from my house, my supposed comfort zone. I mean...why will a sane religious society mount those Ahuja horn speakers outside their church? Why are they shoving their noise down our ears? Even in the quiet night, they still scream! Arghhhh!!!
The thunder that will fire The Lord's Chosen Church in my neighborhood is still peeling melon seeds.

And the so-called police will not do anything to enforce civility. All they want is egunje. Pfft!!

ask4bk:
Those of us who belong to the first ever church since Christ don't see most of these points mentioned.

Proudly Catholic

crixtex:

Why will u ask thunder to fire a church of God? shey u no b incarnate so? however I think d best thing is to meet wit d church pastor to resolve d issue...

Junipero:
Saw a video of Pst.Chris firing invisible-fireballs at the congregation.

He was like : "You want some? You really want some? Collect the annointing!!" . The congregation kept falling over their seats each time he spread his hands in a 'firing' motion.


This is not Dragonball Z nor Street Fighter, Pastors please una no be Goku nor Piccolo nor M.Bison nor Liu Kang.

crixtex:

And if you are are calling Catholics Christians
you have some learning to do about Catholics and
Christians.

KoloOyinbo:


Of course they do. Our Faiths tell us WHO and WHY the Universe was created and always have a creation myth as a metaphor/allegory to help believers remember that crucial truth. They are not intended as Scientific explanations to tell us HOW.

Who caused the Big Bang? God of course!

Mishydoo:



MR CITYGUY,,
RELIGION.
NAIRALAND.


DEAR CITYGUY,

I HOPE THIS LETTER MEETS U IN GOOD HEALTH.
THE LADY IN QUESTION,SHE TOOK D STUFF FOR 3 WEEKS BEFORE SHE VISITED THE CLINIC WHERE I WAS WORKING.
THEN ONE WEEK AFTER OUR CONVERSATION SHE DIED.
THIS WAS AS A RESULT OF BEING AWAY FRM MEDICATION FOR GOD-KNOWS HOW LONG.


SINCERELY,

MISHYDOO.


P.S *i always knew u were a dumb.ass

ChokolateBoss:


Of cos God did. The problem is that some xtians take those allegories/metaphors as d actual facts and take any scientific explanation u offer them as coming from d devil. I don't know why they think that d big bang/science is diametrically opposed to Genesis/Xtianity and ignorantly indoctrinate their members that way. E.g I've had a debate with an SDA pastor who believes d universe was created exactly 6,000yrs ago in 6days. He was even telling me I was influenced by d devil, that's why I believe d universe/earth was created billions of yrs ago.
Beliefs like these make it harder to interact with some atheists who are scientific-minded. It makes some xtians look like fools and when they argue with atheists, they (d atheists) even become more atheistic
As a xtian, d big bang is d only theory makes sense and fits perfectly with d bible.

crixtex:

And if you are are calling Catholics Christians
you have some learning to do about Catholics and
Christians.

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

ChokolateBoss:


Lol. Catholic bashers.
On d last day, God will tell pple to queue up according to their church 4 judgment.
When he gets to d catholic line, he'll call them unchristian and maybe damn a lot of them to hell. Then when he reaches d line of ur church probably founded a short while ago by one man like that, he'll smile with approval and tick u guys as d 'real' xtians.
U're telling some he needs learning regarding catholics and xtians. Of cos he needs to learn d 'real' unfathomable knowledge of xtianity from u and ur church. What does he know? He's probably just an ignorant fella and will jump out from d CC once he 'learns' d real xtian ish.
Don't mind him he's still living in darkness (the CC) while u're in d light. Show him d true light. Use those big halogen torches to show him o, don't use those aboki torch cos d light might not shine well.

Ok 1.224billion Catholics are not xtians. U guys are d real xtians. Lemme clap for u

*kpa kpa..........kpa kpa kpa..........kpaaaaa!*

Neeeeeeeeext!

KoloOyinbo:


Yes. The lunatic fundamentalist fringe! They are still Christians and I respect them as such and they are mostly nice people but scientifically illiterate!

I have had similar debates with pastors etc who believe the same as you mention. Fortunately most educated Christians see absolutely no conflict between Science and Faith.

As a European oyinbo I don't actually know what SDA is?

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

ChokolateBoss:


I respect pple and their faiths too. As xtians, I wish we could be more ecumenical instead of spreading hatred ignorance and bias. I've seen pure undiluted hatred from some xtians simply because u believe sth different. That pure hate thing is plain scary. And how quick they demonize others. Some pple stubbornly hold on to irrational beliefs even when clear facts are presented.

SDA = Seventh Day Adventists

ChokolateBoss:


I respect pple and their faiths too. As xtians, I wish we could be more ecumenical instead of spreading hatred ignorance and bias. I've seen pure undiluted hatred from some xtians simply because u believe sth different. That pure hate thing is plain scary. And how quick they demonize others. Some pple stubbornly hold on to irrational beliefs even when clear facts are presented.

SDA = Seventh Day Adventists

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

Topgainer:

The book of Genesis is a spiritual book just like most spiritual literature are filled with figuratives that can only be deciphered through the help of the source of the inspiration behind it.
The 6 days of creation cannot be 6 days as we have today.
There are ample evidence that the earth and the universe existed very long before man. That the earth has hosted animals of all sorts over millions of real years. That Homo sapiens( present man) has been around for about 6000 years only. Escavations and dating done so far has consistently shown Man of the range of 4000years and above. There is no known datings of Homo sapiens escavated or ice preserved of years exceeding the Chronology of about 6000 years depicted in the Bible.
Man therefore, is not a product of any evolution from animals and monkeys. Science will continue to search for a missing link which will surely elude it. Here it is, In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth( Full stop) Now the earth was void ...
The missing years lies between The periods of Genesis 1:1 and 1:2 The missing link and all the animals/monsters were lost in whatever befell the earth that necessitated the recreation of Earth in Genesis 1:2 and subsequent placing of man to subdue the earth
In all, Science and religion have a complementary role in explaining the mystery called Man

Abosi31:

Source:
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1

Before I begin, I would want to state categorically, that I am not an atheist, I was born into a Christian home, and till now I still believe the world didn’t come about by some silly Big Bang Theory.

Over the weekend I attended two churches; the one a friend dragged me to on Saturday evening, and then on Sunday evening, Assemblies of God Church, my family church. I noticed some things which I didn’t like, and I’m sure the other worshippers did not like them too, but they had become used to them over time.

This is the blog, well, so I’ll just bare my mind here. The reason why it’s ‘Nigerian’ pastors on the title up ahead is because yours faithfully has never attended church service outside the country. So I’m quite assuming only Nigerian pastors do the following.


#1. Screaming into Microphones:

Oga, there’s a reason why the thing is called a microphone. It is to be talked into, or even whispered into (if your voice as loud as mine). There’s no need to shout into the mike. It pains the ears of the worshippers close to the speakers. And then, we all end up leaving church with our ears ringing. The worst part is when you people now scream in tongues during general prayers, unto God- with mike! Shey God will not hear you if you don’t use the mike? Haba!


#2. Breaking Bottles on our Heads:

Have you ever sat in a church and the pastor, during his sermon speaks grammar that makes you lose anointing? Jeez, me too! A pastor will go like: “Go to the extreme end, and call that sister. That demon has to be pursued out now-now!” The demon in the instance will even begin to laugh seriously. One thing that pains me is that these pastors have no regard most times for us, they don’t mind breaking our heads with those unscrupulous grammar and pronunciations,  because they're operating from cloud nine. Make una calm down, thank you.


#3. Staying on one Prayer Point for too long:

I personally detest this. Some pastors will make a simple prayer like, ‘God bless my family’ and turn it into a marathon race. They will stay on one topic for hours, and ginger and ginger us not to stop. It gets boring oh, Pastor. We are Nigerians and we get bored easily.


#4. Asking for too much:

I don’t mean financially this time. Some pastors are like some of our presidential candidates. They are born dictators and control freaks, and only hide behind the pulpit to force us to do things. I personally don’t like when a pastor says: “Walk to fifty-five people and welcome them to service this morning.” It causes problems for ushers as the church becomes rowdy. Also, some pastors like their congregation to repeat every sentence they say fourteen times, or obey every single order to the smallest detail. How will a pastor tell us: “Lift up your right hand and place it on your left breast, then put your left hand under your right shoulder. The anointing is about to flow.”? (Okay I'm exaggerating again), but how on earth are we supposed to pull that off?

#5. Ending every Sermon with Seed-Sowing:

Aha. I put this one last because it's the one you've been expecting to see. These days, even a sermon on how saints will be ruptured on the last day ends with certain pastors making alter calls for people interested in sowing seeds. This is after the church has collected like three times offering already oh. You should stop this oh. Sometimes we your congregation get milked in service to the extent that we also use our transport money to sow a seed. We really humans oh.


If my dear Nigerian pastors can resolve all these, then maybe my beef with them will reduce small. Abi no be so?



Meanwhile welcome to March guys! March on!

culled from :
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1

menxer:
some comments made my day, like "the thunder that will fire... peeling melon..."

anyway, it's one of those things we put up with for being a church member.

yesterday I went for a 7.30 - 10am service, boy by 12 noon, my pastor was still warming his way through.....
by 1pm I left (as it was obvious he was heading to 2pm) for other engagements.

at times some pastors are not time conscious or considerate of other people's....

KoloOyinbo:


And I thought it was only oyinbos who understood sarcasm! LOL. EXCELLENT!

KoloOyinbo:

OK. I should have realised what the abbreviation stood for. Thanks.
Ah. You are in Pitawaka! Dis oyinbo know am well o! At least the GRA area! Its been three or four years, but I love to drink at Cheers Bar and eat and see a film at the Genesis Centre just off Woji road! Hope to be back there in April/May.

ChokolateBoss:


Why only oyinbo go understand sarcasm? Na only una waka come? We're the real inventors of sarcasm. Lol

U're welcome bro. U really sabi PH wella. Genesis still booming as ever. We'll be glad to have u back. Come here make sun tan ur skin small. Lol