cuz most aint ready

Ego

Both parties are not ready to fulfil their obligations

Are you having challenges in your relationship? Do you know of someone having a difficult time in his or her marriage?

Then see this post on Nairaland for help: https://www.nairaland.com/2089510/signs-marriage-trouble-how-fix

The rate at which couples cheat is at all time high, its alarming.

The white people thought us a lot of rubbish thats y my broda.

the dowry too much jor. when the man will sit and think and think, it will take him 5 yrs to get it in his head and then he breaks down totally.

Vickybee:

1. Men are Sexists and Chauvinistic in nature
Most men are sexists and chauvinistic in nature therefore making them selfish and loathe independent women. They make denigrating remarks about women and you don't expect a serious, logical and virtuous woman to remain with such a rètarded being.
Women in other hand, are peace loving and cool but their anti-feminism husband keeps antagonising them and they don't have an option but divorce him.

Your dad comes to mind

ask Google

kay29000:
I have noticed that, in recent times, most marriages break up within 5 years. I have been the best man at two weddings in the last 4 years, and those couples are no longer together. Even some of my family members that got married in the last 10 years are no longer together.

Why is the case of divorce and separation so high these days. And if it is not divorce or separation, you read on Nairaland every day how one wife burnt the husband or cut off his manhood, or how a husband beat his wife to death.

Why is this so rampant these days?

Its simply because people are not real with themselves during courtship.....and also because women are abusing their empowerment.

If money is the core of the union, be mindful that the moment your cash start to dwindle, the marriage will crash...

Simple... its because people see Love as a Feeling and not a Decision quoting Pastor Tunde Bakare...... People don't realise that feelings don't last forever... and you can have feelings for many opposite sex.

Some of our ladies don't have respect for their husband. And in a bus, there shall be no two drivers. Once there is two drivers, problem will start.

TheRainmaker1:
There's no ONE reason for the high rates of marriage failure these days. Rather, I believe it's a combination of factors. Lemme briefly address A FEW of these factors:

1. Gender equality and role reversal:
In times past, the roles of men and women were clearly delineated. A husband was expected to be the bread winner, while the wife was to be the submissive homemaker. These days however, a lot of women would rather pursue careers (which I support anyway) and some even have become breadwinners. We haven't yet rewritten the roles, to reflect the new ideas. Hence, families are struggling to cope.

2. Social Media:
A lot of young people would rather advertise their problems on social media than talk through them with their partners. This has led to poor communication in the home. It's no longer unusual to see two or more people in the same room, smiling into their smartphones for hours, and not talking to each other. It's creating a real communication gap.

Also, a lot of people are so hot in pursuit of 'Likes' on Facebook & Instagram and 'Followers' on twitter, etc, that they fail to realise that this doesn't necessarily translate into love in real life.

3.Societal Influence and Religion:
The general (erroneous) belief that once a lady is 25yrs and unmarried, it means she has spiritual problems, has made a lot of women rush into marriage without really getting to know the man they're marrying.

4. The Rat race:
These days, families (especially us younger generation) are getting to spend less and less time together. We spend the greater part of our time at work, chasing money. This doesn't allow for healthy family bonding.

[b]5.Western Influence and Intolerance:
[/b]From Hollywood to Nollywood, it has almost become fashionable to divorce your partner at the first hint of trouble. The general reason is "due to irreconcilable differences". We no longer wish to sit down and address these differences, cos we feel we're being under appreciated by our partners. The grass is always greener on the other side.


There lots of other reasons...I'll just allow other people air their views

Nice write up ,
In short most couple enter the school called marriage with so many high expectations and only a few have actually taken their time to read about the institution called marriage ........

Hmmmm, I bliv the course is lack of good communication.

ikombe:
The white people thought us a lot of rubbish thats y my broda.

Spot on, that's why this feminist poison has slowly infiltrated Nigerian society.

When most marriage start with "guy am pregnant nd we don't abort in our family"well long story short..90percent of most guys marry ladies they intended doing chop nd run with not knowing chics have plan ..they get stuck but time will tell..break up is sure better than couples violence that lead to death of one or both parties dat we see these days

Lack of submission by ladies, and lack of love from men!

Very simple,Most folks get married these days just to "Legalize their Fucckkkkking"$once they are tired of using themselves as "Roll on" they move unto the "Next one".

Ladies no longer respect their spouse, they stand head to head with him, n no longer submissive. Cheating is wrong but as always been mans attributes even before christ, it jst that then instead of cheating, they marry many wives to quench their sex urge, but nowadays they tend to liv under pretense that they r satisfied wit one woman.

Marriage is not as the way it used to be. Compare today's marriage to when our parents and grandparents got wedded.

Couples of now adays lack patience. Dem too rush! A friendship of 6 months now leads to marriage. Couples don't take their time to know one another very well before they run to the altar.

Most ladies hook the guys by forming pregnant. At the end, the guy is forced to marry her.! This leads to frustration on the man's path. He transfers aggression towards her at all times because he's been forced against his will to be responsible!


I hate hearing about broken homes. I'm scared of marriage self because I don't want to experience such.

To me, I think its best one stay single than to venture into marriage you are not sure of.

There is this popular yoruba prayers mothers pray for their children. "Mi o ni gbe egun ele egun, mi o ni shi oko fe, temi ni olorun a fun mi" (meaning, I won't carry somebody's problems, I won't marry wrong and that God will give me my own husband).

Somebody who will truly me those beautiful words......In sickness n in health, 4 richer n 4 poorer till death do us path!

Most marriages break up today because ppo that have no business being married end up rushing into it today for the sole purpose of having a glamorous wedding ceremony

kay29000:
I have noticed that, in recent times, most marriages break up within 5 years. I have been the best man at two weddings in the last 4 years, and those couples are no longer together. Even some of my family members that got married in the last 10 years are no longer together.

Why is the case of divorce and separation so high these days. And if it is not divorce or separation, you read on Nairaland every day how one wife burnt the husband or cut off his manhood, or how a husband beat his wife to death.

Why is this so rampant these days?

is very simple, we planted the seeds of lies,dishonesty,mistrust,cheating,joking with each others feelings, and we practices wickedness with joy and commitment, what u sow u reap, we are reaping of harvest brother.

kay29000:
I have noticed that, in recent times, most marriages break up within 5 years. I have been the best man at two weddings in the last 4 years, and those couples are no longer together. Even some of my family members that got married in the last 10 years are no longer together.

Why is the case of divorce and separation so high these days. And if it is not divorce or separation, you read on Nairaland every day how one wife burnt the husband or cut off his manhood, or how a husband beat his wife to death.

Why is this so rampant these days?

We have completely trashed our cultural values, that's why.
Also as societies get more prosperous, it's move difficult to maintain a low divorce rate.

Lizabeth25:
Marriage is not as the way it used to be. Compare today marriage to when our parents and grandparents wedded.

Couples of now adays lack patience. Dem too rush! A friendship of 6 months now leads to marriage. Couples don't take there time to know one another very much before they run to the altar.

Most ladies hook themselves with the guy by forming pregnant. At the end, the guy is forced to marry her.!

I hate hearing about broken homes. I'm scared of marriage self because I don't want to experience a broken home.

To me, I think its best one stay single than to venture into marriage you are not sure of.

Back then.. courtship didn't last long either.. how long the couple court is not the problem.. its just the general lack of patience and the internet...

Letter to Buhari from the grave of the innocents –
By Bashir Yusufu
Dear General Buhari; I would’ve addressed this letter privately to you, but in the expectation that you may not receive it, I decided to make it an Open Letter, in the hope that you would stumble on it, read it and hopefully feel some of the pains and anguish that have been my lot. Having said that, permit me therefore to proceed with the rest of this missive from the grave of innocents departed.
Last night, while I was at my modest home in Katsina, relaxing and probably half-awake, I heard the voice of my cousin who was killed in the North in April 2011 during the post-election violence instigated by your loss of the presidential election. With bloodshot sad eyes, my cousin, looking apparition-like, was wailing “Gen Buhari, why why”. My cousin’s name is (or was) Mallam Yusuf Danfulani, a bright young lad originally from Katsina State, who was slaughtered in cold blood and set on fire by youths chanting “Sai Buhari”, like they are again now chanting in 2015.
Gen Buhari, in case you have forgotten, Yusuf was slaughtered in your name even though he never did any wrong to you, and even voted for you against Dr Jonathan. He lost his life just because the murderers you encouraged by your many hate speeches believed Yusuf to be from middle belt or southern Nigeria, most probably because of his bulky looks and brave, patriotic attempts to prevent the killing of an innocent Youth Corper, Ukeoma Ikechukwu. Even though he cried out in Hausa and Fulfulde, he was still not believed by those you (Buhari) managed to brainwash to see all non-Fulani Nigerians as conspiring to vote against you. In this very case, Yusuf voted for you but his ‘Sai Buhari’ killers never believed he did. Like you, Gen Buhari, the mob was baying for the blood of innocents.
If not for Yusuf’s best friend who was with him and was himself nearly killed, we would not have recognized his charred body that was burnt beyond recognition. And thanks to the same friend for recounting to us the little he could make out at the last moments of Yusuf’s life, the agony he passed through and the most important words he uttered before he gave up. It is the same words I heard him utter last night from the grave: ‘Gen Buhari, why why’. Yet, to this day, you (Buhari) have not cared to apologize or show any remorse, but you instead offered lame excuses for the bloodletting you had instigated, and still instigate. I now ask you this: Gen Buhari, must you always shade blood, like you started doing from 1983, to rule Nigeria? Do you recall how you killed Brigadier Bako in 1983 just so you could take power by force from Shehu Shagari?
General Buhari, Ukeoma Ikechukwu himself was reported missing that same day Yusuf was murdered by your supporters, and finally confirmed dead the following day when his charred remains was discovered in a hooded area. Apparently, your supporters had dragged him out of the open and tortured him before finally snuffing life out of him. Like my cousin, Yusuf, Ukeoma was very young and an innocent. Unlike Dr. Jonathan, they were not contesting against you. Yet, when they were killed, part of Nigeria was killed with them; the same Nigeria that you are now angrily campaigning to rule.
Yusuf and Ukeoma were not alone. Six other innocent Youth Corpers were also murdered in Bauchi, where you Buhari, polled 1,315,209 votes (almost 82 per cent), defeating Dr Jonathan who scored 258,404 votes and did not even hit the 25 per cent mark. The corps members were reportedly chased to a police station where they sought refuge. But the rioters, who were raving mad with bloodlust and chanting “Sai Buhari”, overran the station and murdered the young Nigerians in cold blood. So, Gen Buhari, as you can see from the Bauchi result and it’s aftermath, your supporters even shade blood when you win; still you have no qualms. Today, you are prancing around the nation, arrogant and angry as usual, behaving like you have already won the election; and thus setting up another bloodletting if you are not announced winner.
The story of Obinna Okpokiri is as heart-wrenching as Yusuf’s. The 27-year-old was butchered and burnt to ashes, in the service of his fatherland. Okpokiri’s own circumstances were as gruesome as they could be. He had run to the Corpers’ Lodge as the rampaging ‘Sai Buhari’ rioters targeted Youth Corper polling officers recruited by INEC for the election. As painful death loomed, the young Nigerians contemplated fleeing to the barracks. But they were not lucky enough. Your ‘Sai Buhari’ supporters caught up with them, slaughtered and set them on fire. Like Yusuf, these innocents are human beings and future leaders on the last laps of fulfilling their national duty before moving on to a bright future. But it was not to be because, in your name, Gen Buhari, they were slaughtered, sliced, soaked in petrol and scorched. Reduced to ashes in minutes and in the most callous fashion by those that are not better citizens or humans than them.
General Buhari, while you are now busy inciting another violence, please bear in mind that in 2011, your supporters turned violent in whole 12 northern states as they burned the homes, vehicles, and properties of innocent Nigerians, some of whom are also Muslims and Northerners like you and my cousin Yusuf. Your ‘Sai Buhari’ supporters also targeted and killed Christians and members of southern Nigerian ethnic groups, who were seen as supporting the PDP, and they burnt churches across the north. One particular attack in Bauchi stood out as most heart-breaking. According to Human Rights Watch, on April 17 in Giade, a rural town in northern Bauchi, ‘Sai Buhari’ mobs attacked youth corps members in the town. The Corpers, who were mostly from Yoruba, ran to the local police station to seek refuge, but the mobs stormed the police station. The mob killed the police officer on duty and burned down the police station. They raped two of the female youth corps members and then hacked them to death with machetes, along with five male youth corps members. In total, rioters killed ten youth corps members in that town alone.
A lecturer at the Nuhu Bamalli Polytechnic, Zaria, Kaduna State, described to Human Rights Watch how a mob of Muslims chanting “Change, Sai Buhari” attacked and killed several Christian students, a Christian lecturer and four Muslim students suspected of being PDP sympathizers on April 17: He said “Between 10 a.m. and 12 p.m., they entered the school chanting slogans and shouting: “Where are the Christians and Muslims that supported the ruling party?” They had painted their faces black and were shouting that they needed “change”, the Congress for Progressive Change campaign slogan. The mob had all sorts of weapons – machetes, sticks, and clubs. They started breaking the glass on the buildings. The students ran away but the mob pursued them into the staff quarters and they had nowhere to go. The mob beat them to death. The lecturer they killed was Yoruba“.
Finally, Gen Buhari, let me end this letter by asking you this question: When are you going to apologize to me, to Yusuf’s aged parents, to Ukeoma’s parents, to parents of all innocents murdered by your brainwashed supporters, to Nigeria and to mankind? And here is Yusuf again, asking you from the grave: “Gen Buhari, why why”.
Bashir Yusufu.
yusufubashir@yahoo.com

because what d lord did not plant will not last forever. So devil cheated n they were the wrong tools. Persona non grata

Marriages that are not rooted or grounded well in Christ foundation may have crisis. Another issues is external mending into relationships, like mother inlaw and others. Impatience, misunderstanding of each other, not opening up enough to each other, above all Christ is missing in most homes.

If u ask me, na who I go ask?

kay29000:
I have noticed that, in recent times, most marriages break up within 5 years. I have been the best man at two weddings in the last 4 years, and those couples are no longer together. Even some of my family members that got married in the last 10 years are no longer together. R

Why is the case of divorce and separation so high these days. And if it is not divorce or separation, you read on Nairaland every day how one wife burnt the husband or cut off his manhood, or how a husband beat his wife to death.

Why is this so rampant these days?

Simple. Because women no longer call their husbands ' my lord' neither do they see them as such anymore. Contrary to how it was some light years away.
Civilisation, women lib, career, education etc all stem from this simple reason.

D ans is simple...na jonathan dey cause am

Social media is allowing people to reconnect, sometimes in ways damaging to their marriage.

Young couples easily reconnect with their exes few months/years after marriage

You cannot separate divorce and social media/exes.