Ewuro4:


She actually did.

You don't try that with any man. Keep your crazy fantasies in your brain till you grow the balls to handle it in real life.

How did she put the idea in his head? He said No to it, so why did he have to cheat? If the cheating was sw1nger style(without his wife)then you may have a point, then we may say he doesn't want someone fecking his wife but likes the idea of swinging, so he went and did it behind her back.

Instead, he slept with her bestfriend, the affair with the bestie might have been going on before she even mentioned swinging for all we know.

How do you know she can't handle it? They may have done it had he said yes.

Sophyrocks:


No. I want to see things for myself. Seeing is believing.

I have been here since, and there have been many threads on cheaters that I v commented on. What r u looking to see if I may ask?

Sophyrocks:


Hahahahaha. Even in villages devoid of civilisation, you see women marrying numerous times and you are nt aware? eyah. You are not exposed. I have discerned the type of person i am conversing with.

our forefathers dey marry between 3- 20 wives, even till date some men have up till 3wives at home, I can give you example? obasanjo, Atiku, aregbesola, el rufai, sanusi etc dem plenty well well. Now show me a woman in Nigeria with more than one husband?

bennyrazz:
politicians wey dem dey import fresh meat for from Uni, na dem wan get time for wrinkled bottom women with sleepers bosom, abegii that politician must be a counselor or a local champion

cococandy:
really?

Gosh

What?

5minsmadness:

What?

nothing.

bennyrazz:
politicians wey dem dey import fresh meat for from Uni, na dem wan get time for wrinkled bottom women with sleepers bosom, abegii that politician must be a counselor or a local champion

A piece of advice; Try put your ear for ground to hear gists around you to be aware of what goes on. Read widely. Not just nairaland. Nairaland will take you back to the 18th century.

You would be amazed at the sort of taste your fellow men have in women. Whether slippers b.reasts o or slack private part your fellow men dey follow them bumper to bumper. Isnt it the same fallen b.reasts you will svck after your wife gives birth or the same slack pvssy you will see? Na so other men dey reason am too. A lot of married women now are packaging well so other men must look your wife o. The status of a woman doesnt bother men who feel they are polygamous in nature. You call such men local champions? Our politicians local champions? lol. You are truly not exposed. are you a teen?

bennyrazz:
our forefathers dey marry between 3- 20 wives, even till date some men have up till 3wives at home, I can give you example? obasanjo, Atiku, aregbesola, el rufai, sanusi etc dem plenty well well. Now show me a woman in Nigeria with more than one husband?

Chai! What sort of I.Q is this? do you know the topic we are talking about?

5minsmadness:

I have been here since, and there have been many threads on cheaters that I v commented on. What r u looking to see if I may ask?

I havent seen your comments on them myself. So will wait till another thread comes up.

freecocoa:
How did she put the idea in his head? He said No to it, so why did he have to cheat? If the cheating was sw1nger style(without his wife)then you may have point, then we may say he doesn't want someone fecking his wife but likes the idea of swinging, so he went and did it behind her back.

Instead, he slept with her bestfriend, the affair with the bestie might have been going on before she even mentioned swinging for all we know.

How do you know she can't handle it? They may have done it had he said yes.

-Yes he fûcked up big time doing it with her bestie

-Yes he cheated and she can send him packing for life for all I care. He deserved it.

My argument was about taking full responsibility for bringing up the idea of sleeping with other party. And pls spare me the educational lectures about swinging vs cheating

So please let's be real here... Marriage is susceptible to any form of damage that moment you introduce any 'weird' ( yes 'swinging' is weird) system into it.

E.g I don't eat pork, my husband stopped eating it since the day I met him . The day (9 years after) I announced my approval to pork eating was the week my daughter picked up bacon sausage at the grocery store, my other daughter bought bacon jerky & most importantly my husband now sprinkles bacon bits on his salad.
I put the idea in their heads , yes I took the all blame.
P.S .. I don't eat pork till date.

whats swinging?
I thought they said when u get married, u get so much u get bored of it at the end,so why do peeps still cheat?

It looks like you noticed your husband was bored to not only suggesting anal but swinging too. If trully you were not comfortable with your suggestions, then you were not confident, didnt seem to know what you were capable of and misleading your hubby in a way. If he knew you can take swinging (cheating) and not take sleeping with your Bff (cheating) maybe he would have cautioned himself that's if he wasnt cheating already to be bored with you in the first place. Find out why he cheated in the first place, it can give you pointers to the way forward. Since it wasnt a once thing, chances are that he will cheat again if he also love/like your bff, if you forgive easily to make him think no matter what you will forgive again afterall you can't breath without him and funny enough you will easily forgive again after the first. If you must forgive, dont make it quick or easy for him and make the rules, he must see a counselor too. In all dont force your heart. With your bff and not once is too extreme.

Ewuro4:


-Yes he fûcked up big time doing it with her bestie

-Yes he cheated and she can send him packing for life for all I care. He deserved it.

My argument was about taking full responsibility for bringing up the idea of sleeping with other party. And pls spare me the educational lectures about swinging vs cheating

So please let's be real here... Marriage is susceptible to any form of damage that moment you introduce any 'weird' ( yes 'swinging' is weird) system into it.

E.g I don't eat pork, my husband stopped eating it since the day I met him . The day (9 years after) I announced my approval to pork eating was the week my daughter picked up bacon sausage at the grocery store, my other daughter bought bacon jerky & most importantly my husband now sprinkles bacon bits on his salad.
I put the idea in their heads , yes I took the all blame.

Lol, your analogy though.

Your husband has always liked pork but gave it up for you, you didn't put the idea in his head, it was already there, same for the kids, if they didn't like bacon, they won't eat it, everyone gave it up because of you, not because the idea was not there.

You and your husband don't like all the same things, it's not everything you suggest to him that he sees through.

Why didn't he swing, when she suggested it,if you think that's what his cheating is about, but instead said No? Swinging is different from cheating whether you choose to accept it or not.

Please o. Swinging is different from cheating with one's best friend. We shouldnt direct that to mean she is at fault in this. she didnt ask her hubby to cheat on her with her best friend. Swinging is by mutual agreement. He turned it down so that has nothing to do sleeping with her friend.

freecocoa:
Lol, your analogy though.

Your husband has always liked pork but gave it up for you, you didn't put the idea in his head, it was already there, same for the kids, if they didn't like bacon, they won't eat it, everyone gave it up because of you, not because the idea was not there.

You and your husband don't like all the same things, it's not everything you suggest to him that he sees through.

Why didn't he swing, when she suggested it,if you think that's what his cheating is about, but instead said No? Swinging is different from cheating whether you choose to accept it or not.

He gave it up for me just like we gave up other dates/relationships to be together forever. No?

I put the idea in the air the moment I approved it. Simple.

Yes they're diff .. On paper , but the act is still the same.

Let's agree to disagree on this one.

Cheating is bad enough but an affair is not a one-off thing. It means he was cheating on the op again and again so I don't understand some people saying it's the first time unless you mean the first time he was caught. He did it with your best friend. Hmmmm. It might be a maybe or maybe not to forgive him if he cheats on me but it's a definite NO taking him back if any of these is associated with the cheating.

Cheating with a close friend or relative.

Making excuses and not being fully sorry.

Cheating multiple times.

Doing the dirty deed in our home.

Ewuro4:


He gave it up for me just like we gave up other dates/relationships to be together forever. No?

I put the idea in the air the moment I approved it. Simple.

Yes they're diff .. On paper , but the act is still the same.

Lol, if the idea wasn't there, how did he give it up? You can't give up something you never had in the first place, however, I kinda get what you are trying to say, you are saying he forgot about it and she reminded him.

I disagree because he cheated her, in swinging nobody's hurt, he hurt her and that's not an idea you can put in someone's head, you decide to hurt someone on your own, you have the right to choose, it's not a situation without option, he is solely responsible for this, especially because what he did is different from what she suggested.

The act might be the same but don't mean the same things.

babygirlfl:
Cheating is bad enough but an affair is not a one-off thing. It means he was cheating on the op again and again so I don't understand some people saying it's the first time unless you mean the first time he was caught. He did it with your best friend. Hmmmm. It might be a maybe or maybe not to forgive him if he cheats on me but it's a definite NO taking him back if any of these is associated with the cheating.

Cheating with a close friend or relative.

Making excuses and not being fully sorry.

Cheating multiple times.

Doing the dirty deed in our home.

He has cheated on her before? really? I didnt see that in her post.

Sophyrocks:


Chai! What sort of I.Q is this? do you know the topic we are talking about?

common sense is not common for you. Use your head winnntccchh

bennyrazz:
common sense is not common for you. Use your head winnntccchh

Hahahahahaha. So clueless!! My belle o. Talking about divorce, e dey talk about polygamy. You smoke weed just now?

Sophyrocks:


He has cheated on her before? really? I didnt see that in her post.

Usually when people say someone is having an affair, it means it's an ongoing relationship not like a mistake while drunk. The op said he has been having an affair and then in her subsequent posts she said they talk upto three times a day and upto 20 minute sometimes. In my opinion that's means he was repeatedly cheating on her . However this is the first time he has been caught.

Idiot

bennyrazz:
eeehyyyaaa! well I can only tell you sorry for the hurt, pick yourself up and get over it. Forgive and forget if he's a first time offender, it's allowed (men make that mistakes once in a while, only for them to find out their wife is better) or forgive and do your own if he's a serial offender.

Note: Eating EBA everyday can be very boring, same old taste, trying Semi once in a while isn't a bad idea but all men/women should have the fear of God by respecting the vow they made at his altar

Sophyrocks:


Hahahahahaha. So clueless!! My belle o. Talking about divorce, e dey talk about polygamy. You smoke weed just now?

the weed wey you sell for me abi oloshooo

bennyrazz:
the weed wey you sell for me abi oloshooo

Like your mama abi? NO WONDER!! the one wey your mama dey smoke give you. Una dey share weed together. Issorait.

Sophyrocks:


Like your mama abi? NO WONDER!! the one wey your mama dey smoke give you. Una dey share weed together. Issorait.

only person wey no get mama & papa like ur type dey insult other people parents. It's clear you were brought up in an orphanage home silly orphan. I can't just imagine the type man/bobo wey go marry you except if na agbero like you. It is crystal clear to everyone on NL that you are uncouth, mannerless, stubborn, rude and you have this bad blood flowing in your veins. You did not grow up in an environment were love was shown. Always spiteful, vengeful with all your posts. You think marriage is na me win, na you lose? when God was distributing sense to people, where you waka go? abi you waka go do busybody as usual generic mumu

andromida:
So the swinging was for him not even for you. Are you saying you are not comfortable with swinging yet you suggested it just to please him. I am not judging the swinging not that I am even in a position to judge, just don't get why you would suggest something you are not comfortable with.

no we are very open about sex etc so i just wanted to hear his view on it and he definately shut it down. i cant say what i would hev done if he said yes but i was glad he said no. But i was in no way saying he can cheat cos swinging involves both of us doing things with other couples. i was just mentioning it hear to show that i am not a prude at all and i know my hubby is sexually satisfied at home so i dont understand what made him wanna go outside.
i am a humble person who submit ti him and treated him like a king and he did treat me like his queen as well so his cheating wasnt expected at all, thats why i am so hurt and shocked i guess

Sophyrocks:


Hahahahahaha. So clueless!! My belle o. Talking about divorce, e dey talk about polygamy. You smoke weed just now?

You dey try, I usually feel some pain in my brain arguing with these type of persons, like my brain be saying "please this is not reasonable, so don't bother".

bennyrazz:
only person wey no get mama & papa like ur type dey insult other people parents. It's clear you were brought up in an orphanage home silly orphan. I can't just imagine the type man/bobo wey go marry you except if na agbero like you. It is crystal clear to everyone on NL that you are uncouth, mannerless, stubborn, rude and you have this bad blood flowing in your veins. You did not grow up in an environment were love was shown. Always spiteful, vengeful with all your posts. You think marriage is na me win, na you lose? when God was distributing sense to people, where you waka go? abi you waka go do busybody as usual generic mumu

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

E pain am.

Anything else?

mulanbaba:

no we are very open about sex etc so i just wanted to hear his view on it and he definately shut it down. i cant say what i would hev done if he said yes but i was glad he said no. But i was in no way saying he can cheat cos swinging involves both of us doing things with other couples. i was just mentioning it hear to show that i am not a prude at all and i know my hubby is sexually satisfied at home so i dont understand what made him wanna go outside.
i am a humble person who submit ti him and treated him like a king and he did treat me like his queen as well so his cheating wasnt expected at all, thats why i am so hurt and shocked i guess

Sorry to digress ma'am but are you Nigerian?

Madam, Sorry about that, please remember something there's a covenant between you and hubby and until death, you are not to break it , he wronged you yes , please forgive him tell him never to repeat that again, let that woman know she's too small to destroy your home.Please make sure your family is grounded in the word of God and be prayerful, the devil is the director of evil don't be too mundane to ignore spirituality. THE WORLD IS FULL OF TRIBULATIONS BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER , CHRIST HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD.John 16:33

freecocoa:
You dey try, I usually feel some pain in my brain arguing with these type of persons, like my brain be saying "please this is not reasonable, so don't bother".

Hehehehe. Seriously i am already having some pains in my brain lowering myself trying to understand his I.Q but as usual i love to make jokes out of everything.

Love is about forgiveness...


Forgive him and move on.

Look at Hilary Clinton and her husband. No big deal...