Timbuktou:


I have a different hypothesis. We have been conditioned, by society, to value marriage, and rightly so, I might add. I mean, what, exactly, do men gain from marriage? We toil till our last for the wives and children.

In a situation where the man, the wife and the child are in danger with the reality that only two of the three could survive, who dies, and why?

Try answering these posers honestly and try to raise corollaries.

Babymama1:


I think it depends on the age the individuals are at
Younger couples are more likely to marry for love than older couples IMHO
When one is older and "set in their ways " it becomes more for companionship and perhaps a need to please others ( family ,society,clock running out,prove a point etc).when the older couples are in their second marriage,it adds on a whole 'nother dimension,love may not be tops on the list,I think.

This is a good topic for another thread

UjSizzle:

It'll take a married man to answer this question. But I'm willing to bet that having a woman call you her sun and stars (do you watch GOT?) is something. So maybe the popular notion is that one who receives gains more, but what about the one who serves? I know there's greater joy in giving and seeing appreciation from the people you serve than when you're always on the receiving end. I think that the man's authority in the home places him in a position of servitude, but that isn't a bad thing in itself; it's the price of leadership. We aren't equal. We both have different roles, important but distinct roles. It shouldn't be a deterrent to marriage.


The man. He'll give his life for the people he loves as is the nature of love. Same way a mother will gladly give her life for her child.


Hope you're satisfied.

jadelyn007:
no I won't, not even a teeny weeny bit of regret. By the way cheating is a deal breaker for me nt just a minor thing, same with domestic violence.

Any other thing I can tolerate, but I can do something really dangerous as regards d above 2.

Nonso23:

St paul said 'the good I desire to do I do not and the evil I detest I find my self doing'
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'
That is why we need God's grace of forgiveness.

Timbuktou:


Your answers are on point.

As you've rightly pointed out, each player has an important role to play and have, in fact, revelled in these roles. Which makes threads such as this hypocritical.

As Peter Parker says, "with great power comes great responsibilities"

Nonso23:

Another part says 'my grace is sufficient for you'

Nonso23:

You self dey watch spider man!

UjSizzle:
Actually that was his uncle Ben

Timbuktou:


Heehehe. Was just testing you for sharpness

UjSizzle:
Akuko

Zi:
Babymama, lemme talk to you.

I read that thread in awe and fear. Because more or less I was putting myself in the ladies shoes as I read along.

Pls permit me to introduce myself properly, the reason is as you will see below. I am a female, aged 26 plus. I was a top shot as an undergraduate student in Nigeria currently doing my Masters in Power Engineering abroad, I have more than average looks (so you won't say its lack of opportunity) and I have never had sex (in any of its forms) all because I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

A long time ago, I made up my mind sex has to wait for marriage, but if paraventure I find out my husband is cheating on me, that is the day he declared that marriage an open marriage. Reading that thread, I am consolidating my plan. All I will do is lay in wait and get concrete evidences with dates attached to the clips so he can't deny he didn't open that door. We will both be passing through it freely.

Yes, I'm not holding back virginity to impress him or anybody for that matter, I simply want to obey God. But he, (my husband), has to respect that decision. If he decides to cheat, hehehe, I will show him that what is good for the geese is also good for the gander. Period!

See, I'm not ready to leave my marriage for anyone, kpatakpata he will be the one to run not me. I'm not ready for any drama or tears or sucide episodes etc. We will simply drift into open marriage and I will really make up for all my long wait.

I have started preparing myself for whatever dieases we both have to share and die in. You can't cheat on me and still put me in emotional trauma, mbanu!

All in all, I pray God to give me a man that values marriage and is ready to keep his vows till death do us part. He will be the happiest man on earth because I'm gonna live for him.

Sorry if my post offends you, just venting.

cococandy:
Lol you sound so pained

Why?

Don't even bother about who they get their pleasure from. Whether he's a gigolo who's doing it for money is non of your business and it is quite ok after all same applies to cheating men.

The girls sleeping with married man aren't they doing it for money? Some have multiple boyfriends everywhere and use the married men for their financial needs. I don't see you laughing at the men for being used by runs girls who are enduring their smelly old pot bellied asses just for some change.

Hypocriiiiii.

Timbuktou:


Like that one that said she'd be a virgin till marriage in obedience of God's word, but would begin to open yansh up and down if she catches her husband cheating. I was like wtf. Why not just begin your career now?

njokusboy:


Pained ke,
Walai, dats not true...
I care little about what a woman decides to do with herself as long as I don't catch her nd she doesn't bring another man's child into my home... It speaks volume of a woman's self esteem for her to sleep with someone she cares sh1t about just because she wants to get back at her husband...
Most men would simply kick a cheating woman out, it's only you women that come up wiith silly excuses.... men cheat cos they want to, ya'll want to cheat to get back at the men, it shows what value you place on yourselves....

cococandy:
Lie Ke?
It's obviously true.

I've not seen you before on this forum talk about HIV and the bad aspects of being sexually used for money.
So because women's infidelity is being discussed your remember that HIV is real and that the toy boys outside are in it for the money? .

I'd love to see you preach that to philandering men. Abi they are immune to HIV or the girls aren't using them for money? What about the guys sleeping around? Are they valueless?
Why not preached self value to them?

All you're saying is in line but I take it with a pinch of salt from forked tongue posters who can't say the same if situations are reversed.

njokusboy:


You are clearly not getting my angle...
I have never supported men cheating on their wives, I however find the suggestion that a woman should cheat just to get back at someone else ridiculous... To denyn however that a married man cheating and a married woman cheating is not the same thing is quite untrue, a man clearly has more options, many women I know prefer married men, others role with them with the hope that he might marry them and chase his wife, also, sex is mostly routine for men, a man can sleep with a woman today and forget he ever met her, women on the other hand do not have that privilege, most men would not touch a married woman with a stick, not when they are too many hotties out there, her choices are limited, so the most likely person she would get is a gigolo... sex is also an emotional thing for women, they cannot just walk up to a guy, romp and leave (except prostitutes ofcourse), it's even more precarious when she's doing it just because she wants to get back at someone else and not because she desires it...
I brought in the HIV angle for a reason, if a man contracts it while fooling around, he has only himself to blame, however, he contracted HIV doing what he enjoys, but for a woman to contract it because she's trying to get back at someone is preposterous, "imagine this scenario, doctor: woman u re HIV positive, how did it happen? Woman: I was trying to get back at my husband, so I slept with someone else.... ofcourse my reply would be: you are a big fooooool, if I am the doctor, that is
I mean, where is your pride, o ye daughters of eve?
My stand on this cheating issue remain the same, if a man cheats on a woman, she should divorce him nd move on because he'd do exactly that if the case were reversed...
No right thinking man would say, "my wife cheated, lemme find one woman to fvck so we'd be even.... only women come up with such preposterous ideas....

cococandy:
There you go again with all the subtle justifications for adultery in married men.
You don't support when men cheat but somehow it is better when they do than when ladies do.
I don't like all these insincere grey messages.

P.S You're not a woman. Don't speak for women. What makes you think women can't have sex just for sex' sake?
Oh you agreed they can but then she'd have to be a prostitute to be able to do that but the guy who can do the same isn't one?

There you don't realize you've clearly shown the same sign most men show. You can't take what you give.
FYI a woman can have sex for just the pleasure and not be a prostitute. You're not a woman so stop saying what you don't know.
Yea she had sex without emotional attachment she must be a prostitute You guys say that because that's what helps you sleep at night and keeps the ladies who believe you guilt ridden for expressing normal natural sexual drives.

Puleaaase.

njokusboy:

There you go again, seeing only whaat you want to see
There are no justifications in my post only circumstances....
Nd I can speak for women, asides having a lot of experience in that aspect, I also have a lot of women around as sisters, cousins etc, etc
I never said it was better for men to cheat than for women either, I only said circumstances have made it easier for a married man to cheat than a married woman... Infact my point was that, it's better for a man to cheat out of his own conviction than for a woman to cheat because she wants to get back at her husband, let's raverse it, "it's better for a woman to cheat out of her own conviction than to do so because she wants to get back at someone" OR "it's better for a woman to cheat because she wants to than for a man to cheat because he wants to get back at his wife for cheating (although this is highly unlikely cos men don't think such nonsense)".... choose any one you like..
I mean, how does one do something criminal because they want to get back at someone else for being a criminal....
So, if I steal, my wife would also steal to get back at me....

cococandy:
There you go again with all the subtle justifications for adultery in married men.
You don't support when men cheat but somehow it is better when they do than when ladies do.
I don't like all these insincere grey messages.
P.S You're not a woman. Don't speak for women. What makes you think women can't have sex just for sex' sake?
Oh you agreed they can but then she'd have to be a prostitute to be able to do that but the guy who can do the same isn't one?
There you don't realize you've clearly shown the same sign most men show. You can't take what you give.
FYI a woman can have sex for just the pleasure and not be a prostitute. You're not a woman so stop saying what you don't know.
Yea she had sex without emotional attachment she must be a prostitute You guys say that because that's what helps you sleep at night and keeps the ladies who believe you guilt ridden for expressing normal natural sexual drives.
Puleaaase.
Not to mention that the married man who's cheating is also doing it with runs girls who are in it for the money. One and the same thing
I do agree however that cheating in retaliation doesn't make much sense (at least to me) unless I'm going to mail him a video of it so that the heartbreak will be equal to mine.

coogar:




you guys have time arguing with these beings that have extreme difficulty with logic. bunch of hypocrites they are!

isn't this the same set of women that argued a man should never retaliate physical abuse against his wife or any woman as 2 wrongs don't make a right? or am i reading their comments wrongly?

now....they want to open their legs and fück another man because their husband cheated. for most women, logic isn't the strongest point. they would retaliate if it's sex but they don't want him to retaliate when they slap him in the face.

i implore you guys to set your standards sky high. if the wife cheats, that should be the end of the relationship or marriage. no ifs & buts. she shouldn't even be around to know if i would retaliate or not. she's going straight to her father's house!

if i cheat on her, i expect her to leave too. i won't even make any effort to stop her from leaving. if she's worth anything in the first place, i wouldn't have cheated on her. if she stays after my infidelity & thinks she shall be given the same grace if she cheats, then she's on a long thing!

Timbuktou:


Like that one that said she'd be a virgin till marriage in obedience of God's word, but would begin to open yansh up and down if she catches her husband cheating. I was like wtf. Why not just begin your career now?

charles316:


The village girl says things she can't do.

She advocates that women should explore their bodies before marriage....... And she married as a virgin.

She preaches feminism but had to leave the village to join the husband in the U.S. why didn't she invite him over to live in her village? Why did she have to do his bidding.

naijaboiy:
Every woman will come here to support the cause but none will ever agree that they can actually do it in real life.

I just pity the clueless people that come here to get one or two advises on here.