.

Luyeanka:
Give us a brief background of your relationship. Was the premarital relationship also distant?

Lecturer. What do u need that for? Some people think upside down.

Life over there is not easy which am a witness
He's not that comfortable enough to accommodate you guys on a permanent stay... get yourself busy more and avoid temptation. e go soon better
Always look at your two kids and have more hope

#shallom

prinwa:
Thanks alot he will be home in December, I think it is time to involve. His elder brothers and my parents. I appreciate this advice and others I have gotten here.

I would have said visit him yourself to enable you get a better picture of things but you have resolved to use his coming which is not bad.

I advice you put things in place to make this coming different. What change will there be if he gives his usual excuse of coming back to permanently reside in Nigeria; when? 3, 5 or 50 years time? truth is your husband is used to life without you, more years wouldnt make a difference except something is done.

You are the one seeking companionship not him. Him, family and society expect you to be celibate even if this continue for eternity but you know he is doing no celibacy.
Btw, why have you not visited even once in all these five years? What makes you so sure he doesnt have a wife or live in lover? tell me something else apart from the money and annual visits because he does them for the love of his kids not you.

I dont know if you knew him well before marriage but i think you are laid back and accepts anything he tells you or does so that if he had plans of taking you before but subsequent events showed him you would take anything without questioning or approval. The love from his ends has greatly weaned.

You dont look convincing enough to me as one who is really tired of continuing with the status quo. But it is ok if you say so. In that case, conditions should be reached in your meeting, something like if he is not coming back permanently in the next one year, he must arrange for you and the kids to join him.
If you dont put strict measures now, you may realised that you have been alone all along when he sends for his kids to come over for their tertiary institution and then they refuse to come back after schooling, you may not even know how to live there should to send for you to come over permanently at age ....

It is really difficult situation, I agree. You need to tell him of your needs n d impact of the absence on your kids. Again, are you guys very open in your marriage? Cos it could be that he doesn't want you to know d kind of job he does, or maybe he's got other kids with oyinbo woman. Subtly work on him to get the truth, cos your decisions will be based on that.

Wait i'l tel u wat to do later..

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

It is to late to cry Visit familyparliament.com to get better understanding of handling long distance marriage.

flyca:
Ha! 5 years is long o. Was it "arrangee" marriage? Did you discuss about how to and where to stay before marriage? Apart from physical absence, is he emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and financially absent too?

The answers will help advisers get a clear picture.

Question

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

YOUR HUSBAND DEY BUSY HUSTLE FOR GOD KNOW WERE HE DEY JUST TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS, BUT YOU ARE HERE COMPLAINING RUBBISH


WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO CHEAT GO YEE ONTO YOUR NEIGHBOR AND CHEAT!!!

USELESS NAIJA WOMEN WHO ONLY THINK OF THERE SELF.

YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO WOMANHOOD

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

wherever that man is, are you sure he is not married over there? I know a man that marries a white woman in America and has a Nigerian wife here in naija and only comes to the country once in a year....

Op this your story sound like i know you, is ur husband in holland, are u a nurse

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

Madam

Your husband is a man and he has blood running in his veins. He's neither a virrgin nor a revrend father. I won't want to be cruel but your man is too confident to have you far away which means he may likely be in an affair over there.

The fact that you are loyal to him doesn't mean he's loyal to you. You can ask him how he copes without sex and hear what he will say.

Brandnew2:

What are intimacy gadgets for?

Chia!
Smh

Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

Hot woman have needs kids can't satisfy.

[quote author=prinwa post=36419044] I kind of agree with you.[/quote
prayer for Him. in woman life sex is very important once you are married. but time is time of sacrifice. hold to it with faith.

he must be enjoying good sexxx life over there, probably he feel you are not so cute and only good as a nanny..

he need to treat you better

If you can endure for 5 good years, you'got no choice than to persevere, but try to let him know how you feel

tellwisdom:
Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with?

don't tempt her

lolaxavier:

Get a life.

Was going to advice he was at best ignored guess I took too long

sonofananimal1:


YOUR HUSBAND DEY BUSY HUSTLE FOR GOD KNOW WERE HE DEY JUST TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS, BUT YOU ARE HERE COMPLAINING RUBBISH


WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO CHEAT GO YEE ONTO YOUR NEIGHBOR AND CHEAT!!!

USELESS NAIJA WOMEN WHO ONLY THINK OF THERE SELF.

YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO WOMANHOOD

Exactly! that is why most guy always keep them as a baby mama,am sure she wont be saying all these if he didnt take her to the alter,Niger women bad gan if you try to pamper them

Dis na one chance marriage o

prinwa:
he has his permanent resident. No he doesn't have another wife.

How do you know this? I don't understand why he doesn't want to stay with his family when he can.

Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

Stop talking like a child.

bettercreature:
Exactly! that is why most guy always keep them as a baby mama, am sure she wont be saying all these if he didnt take her to the alter,Niger women bad gan if you try to pamper them

I HAVE REALLY LEARN MY LESSON WITH THEM.

THERE JUST WANT YOU TO SEE THEM AS PIECE OF SHITTE , NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND

hmmmm

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

I could stand in for ur husband. You have to promise me you will takecare of my financial need while I takecare of u.

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

Why would anyone in her right sense of judgement and mindset agree to such ridiculous arrangement?
Ma'am , you're the architect of your own problem and here in Nairaland we'll only mock and ridicule you because we have nothing to offer for your actions and decisions that was purely made out of greed,selfishness and personal gains.
If you love a man or woman you won't let them leave your sight for a month .

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

was it a portrait u did wedding with or maybe anoda woman has taken him away o in d name of green card..
madam u got to start visiting him often sha

lolaxavier:
If you ask me, na who I go ask

Go and ask google now, if you no get answer beta ask 'Ifa'


www.aftatech.com

Bluetooth2:


Madam

Your husband is a man and he has blood running in his veins. He's neither a virrgin nor a revrend father. I won't want to be cruel but your man is too confident to have you far away which means he may likely be in an affair over there.

The fact that you are loyal to him doesn't mean he's loyal to you. You can ask him how he copes without sex and hear what he will say.

Shoro niyen....pls dont poison this woman mind to entertain negative thougths about her husband committing adultery.there are many descent men out there including me who can remain abstain from sex for years,mine is close to 3years and i dont self service/watch porn.the man in question even comes home every year...?
This woman better be careful abt what advice u take and read on Nl

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

Dear I know how you feel. I can't stay away from my Husband for 2 weeks. But my sister in law has 2 kids, 10yrs in marriage. Her hubby is in UK. He has been in UK for 6 years now and she only saw him Once. She had the kids before he left. I don't know how she feels but she is living with it.

Please try and live with it. It won't be this way forever. Something better will come up. Cheers.