Timbuktou:


Free, you're relapsing into old, destructive habits. I have never portrayed hatred for the white man. What I will not stand for is people like you who think the white man shits roses when I think different. You might not know this but you can have a valid argument without lying.

My christianity ended years ago. I quote the bible only when it agrees with me, doesn't make me a christian anymore than quoting from the Qur'an makes me muslim. Cocoa, I had such high hopes for you. Alas, my faith in you seems to be misplaced.

Common sense and a keen sense of observation, baby. I can see the toxicity of following things without proper analysis. And yes, I may be selfish but you haven't proven to be selfless either. You are no better than my selfish arze.

Women acting cranky on the periods is derogatory? Wow, next you'll tell me having less energy due to hunger is derogatory. Free, go and eat, you need nutrients to argue effectively.

Of course not, I don't have younger sisters or nieces, and I definitely will not have a daughter. Only a woman can teach a woman. I have nothing to contribute. Cocoa, aRe you fasting today? You're arguing like you need to eat somethong.

Abeg abeg abeg, don't even go near that old habit talk, what was wrong with me before now? Mba don't even go there for serious because if we do, I'm not supposed to be cool with you., moving on. I don't think the white man sh1ts roses, I just don't think it's fair to blame them for your inadequacies/short comings.


Na wa for you o, don't talk to me like am stup1d, saying you quote the bible doesn't mean I don't know you quote other books, but that's not what we are talking about here. In this context, you use the bible as a yardstick for measurement of how marriage should be, when that should be only applicable to people who practice the religion, anyways you already agreed it's for selfish purposes, it's told us all we need to know and hey! I am not in the least bit selfish, I get compliments on my selflessness a lot, matter of factly, some people think me f00lish for that.

Not every woman is cranky in her period and yea, making reference to that in the middle of our discourse as reason for why I write what I write, is derogatory. It's like saying buky is dirty, therefore she's yoruba or her dirtiness stems from being yoruba.

I have in no way said you have nothing to offer, I am saying, it's not your place to decide for a woman, you can offer suggestions but you can't say "it must be like this" simples.

Btw, what do you mean by having high hopes for me and what's the rubbish about misplaced faith? Respectia onwe gi o.

I'm not fasting, I'm filled with food this fine afternoon.

i am starting to think timbuktou & freecocoa are spouses.
this romance between them is nourishing.

coogar:
i am starting to think timbuktou & freecocoa are spouses.
this romance between them is nourishing.

There's no romance here at all, I don't have strength for power tussle.

Btw you eh, go away, you are not my friend again.

freecocoa:
There's no romance here at all, I don't have strength for power tussle.

Btw you eh, go away, you are not my friend again.

i will see you later tonight...
cook some pasta, chill some bottles of beer.

freecocoa:
Abeg abeg abeg, don't even go near that old habit talk, what was wrong with me before now? Mba don't even go there for serious because if we do, I'm not supposed to be cool with you., moving on. I don't think the white man sh1ts roses, I just don't think it's fair to blame them for your inadequacies/short comings.


Na wa for you o, don't talk to me like am stup1d, saying you quote the bible doesn't mean I don't know you quote other books, but that's not what we are talking about here. In this context, you use the bible as a yardstick for measurement of how marriage should be, when that should be only applicable to people who practice the religion, anyways you already agreed it's for selfish purposes, it's told us all we need to know and hey! I am not in the least bit selfish, I get compliments on my selflessness a lot, matter of factly, some people think me f00lish for that.

Not every woman is cranky in her period and yea, making reference to that in the middle of our discourse as reason for why I write what I write, is derogatory. It's like saying buky is dirty because she's yoruba.

I have in no way said you have nothing to offer, I am saying, it's not your place to decide for a woman, you can offer suggestions but you can't say "it must be like this" simples.

I'm not fasting, I'm filled with food this fine afternoon.

The reason we had beef was because you refused to argue with logic and you were denigrating as hell. We became cool when we cool argue our different positions with respect. I see we're going back there. Anyway, I'd advise you to reread my comments; nowhere have I put my errors on the white man. If I can appreciate the white man's positive contributions, permit me to criticise the negatives as well. That's straight logic. What's so hard about that?

Babe, I have told you, at least three times, that I don't identify as christian, but you won't accept that because it punctures your argument, and you don't want me to be pissed? I am no fvcking christian, whether I quote the bible or not is irrelevant. And, no, I do not see the bible as a yardstick; I see the bible and I have the same ideas. My marriage views are traditional African; are you saying Sango and Amadioha were bible students and Oya was a nun? Wtf!
Congrats, on your selflessness awards.

Or like saying Chioma is a gorilla because she's igbo?

I should be able to do more than give suggestions, I'm going to be head of household after all and you're going to limit my role to suggesting? In my kingdom? I'll be the boss, not some peer.

Too much food then?

coogar:
i am starting to think timbuktoou & freecoco are spouses.
this romance between them is nourishing.

She's trying to tame the caveman ni. I'm too bush for her.

coogar:


i will see you later tonight...
cook some pasta, chill some bottles of beer.

Okay then, I do hope you are coming with goodies?

Timbuktou:


The reason we had beef was because you refused to argue with logic and you were denigrating as hell. We became cool when we cool argue our different positions with respect. I see we're going back there. Anyway, I'd advise you to reread my comments; nowhere have I put my errors on the white man. If I can appreciate the white man's positive contributions, permit me to criticise the negatives as well. That's straight logic. What's so hard about that?

Babe, I have told you, at least three times, that I don't identify as christian, but you won't accept that because it punctures your argument, and you don't want me to be pissed? I am no fvcking christian, whether I quote the bible or not is irrelevant. And, no, I do not see the bible as a yardstick; I see the bible and I have the same ideas. My marriage views are traditional African; are you saying Sango and Amadioha were bible students and Oya was a nun? Wtf!
Congrats, on your selflessness awards.

Or like saying Chioma is a gorilla because she's igbo?

I should be able to do more than give suggestions, I'm going to be head of household after all and you're going to limit my role to suggesting? In my kingdom? I'll be the boss, not some peer.

Too much food then?

The rule is, treat people the way you want to be treated, you don't expect me to respect you, when you clearly don't respect me, like seriously? Oh! Please, and not everything should be taken as an insult by you, your sensitive ego wouldn't even let you see that, smh.

No one says don't criticise but if you must, be fair/reasonable while at it, pray tell where you criticised with fairness and I condemned you, the problem here is that you blame them for women speaking up for themselves and that's what I mean by putting your short comings on them, like you originally aren't supposed to know that it's not fair on the woman to marry more than one wives, that it's not fair to cheat on your wife and blaming it on hormones or even the women themselves, now with the help from our oyibo people, who helped put things in place, the women are saying NO and you turn around to blame them for that? Where's the logic in that? That you don't agree with homosexuality and the white man does, where's the crime in that? How is it reasonable to fault then for that? I am yet to see how the things you call negative as brought by the white men, has affected anyone negatively, so what are you on about?


You don't have to be pissed about the christianity issue, I just want you to see the hypocrisy in that, if you don't accept something, why hold onto bits of it? totally reject it and it will be clear you don't accept it, then quote the african religious books of sango and his brethren, you and the bible don't have the same ideas on marriage, stop lying to yourself.

I don't believe in headship as regards marriage, therefore you cannot dictate to me.

Nah, just the right amount.

freecocoa:
Okay then, I do hope you are coming with goodies?

Hmmmmm.....

Idowuogbo:

Hmmmmm.....

Amebo.

Hmmm, wetin?

freecocoa:
Amebo.

Hmmm, wetin?

Idowuogbo:

freecocoa:

freecocoa:
The rule is, treat people the way you want to be treated, you don't expect me to respect you, when you clearly don't respect me, like seriously? Oh! Please, and not everything should be taken as an insult by you, your sensitive ego wouldn't even let you see that, smh.

No one says don't criticise but if you must, be fair/reasonable while at it, pray tell where you criticised with fairness and I condemned you, the problem here is that you blame them for women speaking up for themselves and that's what I mean by putting your short comings on them, like you originally aren't supposed to know that it's not fair on the woman to marry more than one wives, that it's not fair to cheat on your wife and blaming it on hormones or even the women themselves, now with the help from our oyibo people, who helped put things in place, the women are saying NO and you turn around to blame them for that? Where's the logic in that? That you don't agree with homosexuality and the white man does, where's the crime in that? How is it reasonable to fault then for that? I am yet to see how the things you call negative as brought by the white men, has affected anyone negatively, so what are you on about?


You don't have to be pissed about the christianity issue, I just want you to see the hypocrisy in that, if you don't accept something, why hold onto bits of it? totally reject it and it will be clear you don't accept it, then quote the african religious books of sango and his brethren, you and the bible don't have the same ideas on marriage, stop lying to yourself.

I don't believe in headship as regards marriage, therefore you cannot dictate to me.

Nah, just the right amount.

Show me somewhere I disrespected you. Don't just throw statements around without proof.

What are the women saying NO to. Please, give me
one thing African women needed the white man to do for them that they didn't already have. You're funny.

Like how if you make sense about something I should disregard it because I wouldn't normally subscribe to your ideas? Got it. I won't be a hypocrite anymore. Now, when you warn me about fire I'll discount it because it came from you. Funny woman, you are.

Good for you. I'm not married to you.

Yeah, yeah.

Idowuogbo:

Timbuktou:


Show me somewhere I disrespected you. Don't just throw statements around without proof.

What are the women saying NO to. Please, give me
one thing African women needed the white man to do for them that they didn't already have. You're funny.

Like how if you make sense about something I should disregard it because I wouldn't normally subscribe to your ideas? Got it. I won't be a hypocrite anymore. Now, when you warn me about fire I'll discount it because it came from you. Funny woman, you are.

Good for you. I'm not married to you.

Yeah, yeah.

We were talking about the beef days weren't we? And so far on this thread I haven't disrespected you in any way, if you think otherwise please show me where and I'll apologise.

We are saying no to marginalisation, our voices were silenced and with feminism, we are speaking up.

Your analogy sef tire me, I'll take it you just choose not to see reason.

Yea, you are not as I wouldn't even marry you for a fee.

Two things I can deduct from this argument between coco and her online spouse

One is trying to show men how bad feminism is,and the other trying to counter him...which is good..

But the problem now is that freecoca won't let him be,because she knows that should he continue,it gonna send a bad message to thousands of single men thereby resulting in more old cargos feminist

Interesting..

Offence intended

edwife:


Ha!I got a lot to learn.



I brought it up because most men still believe it's the best decision when it comes to training younger kids.

Ok

It is...does not mean it happens all the time
I know the best thing is to fly first class but money no dey now...so na premium coach or coach..

#Godwin

ApexTitan:
C'mon guys this is not true.

NAWALT

(Not All Women Are Like That)

That's the classic refrain when the underlayer of the female pysche as relates to mate selection or sexual strategies is exposed. The workings and machinations reveal a cold and merciless efficiency in achieving its objectives that it leaves many in disbelief.

It is true that women do not emerge from an evil meeting or convention where these strategies that are being revealed today were decided upon. There was no secret assembly or coven no referendums or conferences but the fact remains that all women are subject to specific biological influences that determine their behaviour in these matters. All of this operates on a limbic, organic level. It is this behaviour that informs part of the social conventions and cultures that we have around us.

The fact which Oga TV mentioned that women are strategic in relationship matters is one that rings true every time. There is no woman who is not on some level subject to the workings of hypergamy. Indeed even the fairy tale notion of love, or romantic love as some people are appealing to here, plays to the very strengths of this strategy. It provides the perfect cover for the feminine imperative to achieve its objective with the least amount of resistance because it requires it's subject to remain unaware of its calculations in the name of waiting for true magical love.

Today, for long term relationships and marriages a man who understands the mechanics at work and what is required of him stands the best chance of benefiting from it. It is this reason that "just follow your heart" can be quite a dangerous thing to do.

This understanding has to be acquired because what used to work in the past - traditions and conventions that made accommodations for these realities - are dying or being pushed to into irrelevance.

Gbagaun!


Cool analysis

freecocoa:
We were talking about the beef days weren't we? And so far on this thread I haven't disrespected you in any way, if you think otherwise please show me where and I'll apologise.

We are saying no to marginalisation, our voices were silenced and with feminism, we are speaking up.

Your analogy sef tire me, I'll take it you just choose not to see reason.

Yea, you are not as I wouldn't even marry you for a fee.

Hello freecocoa you are needed here biko

https://www.nairaland.com/2494781/how-effectively-curb-sexual-offences#36501770

freecocoa:
We were talking about the beef days weren't we? And so far on this thread I haven't disrespected you in any way, if you think otherwise please show me where and I'll apologise.

We are saying no to marginalisation, our voices were silenced and with feminism, we are speaking up.

Your analogy sef tire me, I'll take it you just choose not to see reason.

Yea, you are not as I wouldn't even marry you for a fee.

You were beginning to leave the subject and get personal. Let's forget that shall we?

You guys weren't marginalised and you're only nagging. You've earned nothing through merit. Men have only allowed concessions because o your constant whingeing which is becoming irritating.

My analogy would make sense to people who argue with an open mind. Let me explain better, should I disagree with the bible telling me not to spoil my child by discipline because I'm not a christian? If that's what you're saying then I guess there's no point arguing with you further.

That only shows your poor decision-making ability. I have to sympathise.

Timbuktou:


You were beginning to leave the subject and get personal. Let's forget that shall we?

You guys weren't marginalised and you're only nagging. You've earned nothing through merit. Men have only allowed concessions because o your constant whingeing which is becoming irritating.

My analogy would make sense to people who argue with an open mind. Let me explain better, should I disagree with the bible telling me not to spoil my child by discipline because I'm not a christian? If that's what you're saying then I guess there's no point arguing with you further.

That only shows your poor decision-making ability. I have to sympathise.

You don lie o, you started it but yea, we shall leave it.

I don't expect you to agree but it's evident here, you want to marginalise me but I say hell to the no.

That's not what I'm saying, every sane individual should know to discipline his/her child, that shouldn't even be in the bible, what am saying is, agreeing with the bible that a woman should submit/any other thing that belittle women but refusing to adhere to it's instruction which is to love the woman, something in that line.

Nah, just shows you are not what I need/want.

ApexTitan:
C'mon guys this is not true.

NAWALT

(Not All Women Are Like That)

That's the classic refrain when the underlayer of the female pysche as relates to mate selection or sexual strategies is exposed. The workings and machinations reveal a cold and merciless efficiency in achieving its objectives that it leaves many in disbelief.

It is true that women do not emerge from an evil meeting or convention where these strategies that are being revealed today were decided upon. There was no secret assembly or coven no referendums or conferences but the fact remains that all women are subject to specific biological influences that determine their behaviour in these matters. All of this operates on a limbic, organic level. It is this behaviour that informs part of the social conventions and cultures that we have around us.

The fact which Oga TV mentioned that women are strategic in relationship matters is one that rings true every time. There is no woman who is not on some level subject to the workings of hypergamy. Indeed even the fairy tale notion of love, or romantic love as some people are appealing to here, plays to the very strengths of this strategy. It provides the perfect cover for the feminine imperative to achieve its objective with the least amount of resistance because it requires it's subject to remain unaware of its calculations in the name of waiting for true magical love.

Today, for long term relationships and marriages a man who understands the mechanics at work and what is required of him stands the best chance of benefiting from it. It is this reason that "just follow your heart" can be quite a dangerous thing to do.

This understanding has to be acquired because what used to work in the past - traditions and conventions that made accommodations for these realities - are dying or being pushed to into irrelevance.

You are on point!

@edwife, damiso, naijababe and all,
let me give my perspective on the youthfulness, singlemumness and what have you thingy from a more general perspective. Caveat, I'm not intelligent enough to concentrate for long periods though, I tend to drift

As a man, being the head of the house is not up for argument, it's a fact that exists much the same way the Sun will set in the west and rise in the east. It's not something to be discussed, personally I don't get into arguments about submission and what not because for me being the head is not an enjoyable task, it's something that is expected of me. It means I'm responsible for the unit, its failures are my failures, its successes are mine as well, being the head of the family exposes you to the burden of command.

Anyone that thinks being the head of the family is a cake walk doesn't yet understand what responsibility is, such a person is like a soldier that is still tripped by the fact that all his subordinates snap to attention once he passes by but has failed to realize that he is responsible for their lives. In civilian terms, it's like someone who just got promoted and is tripped by the fact that his approval limit is now up to a million naira from zilch, he is yet to realize how much value he is expected to create.

If I'm going to bear that burden, it makes sense for me to choose the best team/unit possible, I need to be sure that the burden I carry will be worth it. If I'm going to have to protect, provide for and love a woman for the rest of my life I'd be darned if I choose a partner for whom my ability to give my all would be in doubt, in simple english, the juice has to be worth the squeeze. To some, it might involve youth, to some it might involve tribe, to some it might involve intellect but the fact is that the man(and of course the woman too) owes it to himself to give the union he will head the best shot at succeeding.

This is what we face as men, so pardon me if I try to analyze women down to a "T", or if I relegate the mish-mash of hormones(or what have you) we call love to the background, the fact is that I am on a mission, it would be nice if you loved me and worshipped the ground I walk on but then if that means I have to lose site of my mission then to hell with love(well sorta...lol).

Truthfully speaking though, love or whatever we choose to call it is part of the factors we need to consider and so it cannot be thrown away but the fact is that for some men it might not make the top 5 considerations for choosing a marriage partner.

freecocoa:

I don't expect you to agree but it's evident here, you want to marginalise me but I say hell to the no.

That's not what I'm saying, every sane individual should know to discipline his/her child, that shouldn't even be in the bible, what am saying is, agreeing with the bible that a woman should submit/any other thing that belittle women but refusing to adhere to it's instruction which is to love the woman, something in that line.

Nah, just shows you are not what I need/want.

Madam, in what way have you been marginalised. Stop deflecting and answer the question abeg.

You are just beating about the bush like a blind hunter. I asked you to point out the hypocrisy in pointing out something I agree with you're talking about the solar system. Simple question, how does agreeing with something constitute hypocrisy? I don't need the bible to teach wifely submission, my ancestors didn't need the bible to have such customs. And while I don't believe in love, I pride myself in treating one's wife with affection and respect. By the way, the bible also implores wives to love their husbands : Titus 2:4 - That they may teach the young women to be
sober, to love their husbands; but I don't believe in love so ...

Again, poor judgement

@Pickabeau1, TV01, 5minsmadness, Timbuktou, kevinberry, apextitan
I might be slightly off but I think the general purpose of this thread was for us to have a spot to discuss issues that affect us as men(husbands, husbands to be, husbands never to be etc... ), we're starting to get sidetracked o...let's keep the philosophical discussions to other threads biko.

On this here thread political correctness takes a backseat. This is the boys thread.

I was lost at a point

Is the bible the progenitor of submission

Our women don't even bother with our culture anymore

I wonder what the next generation will learn when mothers don't even know the culture

Timbuktou:

Madam, in what way have you been marginalised. Stop deflecting and answer the question abeg.
You are just beating about the bush like a blind hunter. I asked you to point out the hypocrisy in pointing out something I agree with you're talking about the solar system. Simple question, how does agreeing with something constitute hypocrisy? I don't need the bible to teach wifely submission, my ancestors didn't need the bible to have such customs. And while I don't believe in love, I pride myself in treating one's wife with affection and respect. By the way, the bible also implores wives to love their husbands : Titus 2:4 - That they may teach the young women to be
sober, to love their husbands; but I don't believe in love so ...
Again, poor judgement

Timbuktou:


Madam, in what way have you been marginalised. Stop deflecting and answer the question abeg.

You are just beating about the bush like a blind hunter. I asked you to point out the hypocrisy in pointing out something I agree with you're talking about the solar system. Simple question, how does agreeing with something constitute hypocrisy? I don't need the bible to teach wifely submission, my ancestors didn't need the bible to have such customs. And while I don't believe in love, I pride myself in treating one's wife with affection and respect. By the way, the bible also implores wives to love their husbands : Titus 2:4 - That they may teach the young women to be
sober, to love their husbands; but I don't believe in love so ...

Again, poor judgement

If you are going to give me attitude, we better just kuku end the talk o.

Marginalisation right here as you clearly expect me to agree with what you say simply because you have a pen1s, I don't have to tell you anything as you clearly are set on your path, but I have on more than one occasion on this board, given instances of such marginalisation.

You still haven't seen the hypocrisy, its alright, let's just forget it.

If only what you think about that mattered.

Grammar o

@pickabeau I stumbled on the old Mad Max trilogy and i'm done with the first 2. Not bad if you ask me, the 1st part was just there till the end when Max lost his wife and kid. Road warrior was awesome . Hope the 3rd one don't disappoint. After that then I'd watch this new one.

oh and Sabotage was cool btw. I loved the twist at the end.

netotse:
@Pickabeau1, TV01, 5minsmadness, Timbuktou, kevinberry, apextitan
I might be slightly off but I think the general purpose of this thread was for us to have a spot to discuss issues that affect us as men(husbands, husbands to be, husbands never to be etc... ), we're starting to get sidetracked o...let's keep the philosophical discussions to other threads biko.

On this here thread political correctness takes a backseat. This is the boys thread.

You know how women are, they gotta have a say in everything. Since, they've come to our turf to critique our beliefs in full glare of the public, we have to defend our opinions and show their credibility. Otherwise, we stand the risk of losing our men to fine-sounding but substance-lacking "progressive" arguments. Hope you're with me on that?

I agree, though, it can be regulated somewhat.

Timbuktou:


You know how women are, they gotta have a say in everything. Since, they've come to our turf to critique our beliefs in full glare of the public, we have to defend our opinions and show their credibility. Otherwise, we stand the risk of losing our men to fine-sounding but substance-lacking "progressive" arguments. Hope you're with me on that?

I agree, though, it can be regulated somewhat.

I'm totally with you on the need to engage the ladies when they appear to be going off course, I think we could move it to separate threads when it begins to get drawn out. The difference in perspectives adds to the richness of the debate but still we need to guard the purpose this thread was established for hence the need for regulation. Part of the reason things are as bad as they are getting is because we as men are starting to lose focus.

freecocoa:
If you are going to give me attitude, we better just kuku end the talk o.

Marginalisation right here as you clearly expect me to agree with what you say simply because you have a pen1s, I don't have to tell you anything as you clearly are set on your path, but I have on more than one occasion on this board, given instances of such marginalisation.

You still haven't seen the hypocrisy, its alright, let's just forget it.

If only what you think about that mattered.

You're being extra sensitive, aren't you?

You don't have to accept anything I'm saying. You can hold my opinion up to the light of analysis and see for yourself, and you're at liberty to accept or not.

Because it's non-existent.

I'm really tired of this merry-go-round. Sorry for the marginalisation.

netotse:


I might be slightly off but I think the general purpose of this thread was for us to have a spot to discuss issues that affect us as men(husbands, husbands to be, husbands never to be etc... ), we're starting to get sidetracked o...let's keep the philosophical discussions to other threads biko.

On this here thread political correctness takes a backseat. This is the boys thread.

Supported!

I was going to say something along the same lines but held back because I wasn't the one who started this thread nor was I here in the beginning.

Boundaries have to be enforced. This thread is for the puerarchs and patriarchs, the boys and the men, all others should sit in the viewing balcony or use the door.

netotse:


I'm totally with you on the need to engage the ladies when they appear to be going off course, I think we could move it to separate threads when it begins to get drawn out. The difference in perspectives adds to the richness of the debate but still we need to guard the purpose this thread was established for hence the need for regulation. Part of the reason things are as bad as they are getting is because we as men are starting to lose focus.

Good point. I agree. Point duly noted.