OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. tomorrow.

goldiam:

my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes.op you have already advised yourself.

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.

Acidosis:
I keep warning people on Nairaland not to allow ex boyfriends/girlfriends interfere in their relationships.

It is not about trust, its about commonsense. An ex should not even be on your contact, BBM, Facebook or Whatsapp. Do not keep pictures of exes, and don't allow anyone of them (dead or living) come near your home.

Sir, your marriage is 15 years plus. Why on earth would a woman leave you, your home and a job of 200k/driver/car for a meagre 40k?

Sir, your wife must have gotten N40k in cash, and N300k in KIND. Whoever tells you otherwise can kill you.

How can you book flights on 3 occasions for a 40K job? Nawaooo!

I don't know what to tell you, many Nairaland women will blame you on this so get ready to act like a man.

OGGS2000:
thanks for your advice. the family has been doing well and lovely. The children were away on boarding school and when the woman starts to nagging about staying at home every day, you will be willing to let her do what ever it is to make her happy. actually for the one month she has spent there I have spent over two hundred thousand naira. I was doing this to make her happy but has a different plan for me.

OGGS2000:
I wasn't aware of any ex anywhere. but has been suspicious of her taking some calls and walk away from me to answer them. when I ask she will say it her sister that called. As for where she will stay her brothers and sisters are leaving there and so she can stay with any of them till she gets a house of her own.

OGGS2000:
She is begging to come back to Lagos. She is still in the East. Perhaps she knows her plans has been exposed.

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.

Ujoan:


The story doesn't quite add up . . .

I can't seem to reconcile between a woman who would give up a great income and career for her family, with the one you are describing now!!!

Perhaps something happened along the line for her to think the marriage was no longer worth her sacrifice . .

The fact is that your marriage is heading for the rocks, and if you want your wife back, you have to make the effort here.

She left you because she wanted another option, not because she is so much in love with her ex. The question here is that, why does she 'need' a second option

Did you ever cheat on her or mis-treat her?

OGGS2000:
thanks for your advice. the family has been doing well and lovely. The children were away on boarding school and when the woman starts to nagging about staying at home every day, you will be willing to let her do what ever it is to make her happy. actually for the one month she has spent there I have spent over two hundred thousand naira. I was doing this to make her happy but didn't know she has a different plan for me.

Oyind17:

Ujoan:


Why the shock
It's time for men to realize that their actions have consequences. You cannot cheat on a woman who has sacrificed so much for you and expect her to just forget it like nothing happened.
While she is willing to forgive, forgetting is a whole different matter.
This sudden search for independence is a clear indication that the woman has always felt trapped is now not ready to start living her life.
She may not even be dating her ex like OP is implying, but knowing she is living her life her way could be a huge source of consolation to her!

Ujoan:


Why the shock
It's time for men to realize that their actions have consequences. You cannot cheat on a woman who has sacrificed so much for you and expect her to just forget it like nothing happened.
While she is willing to forgive, forgetting is a whole different matter.
This sudden search for independence is a clear indication that the woman has always felt trapped is now not ready to start living her life.
She may not even be dating her ex like OP is implying, but knowing she is living her life her way could be a huge source of consolation to her!