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Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Agu87(m): 9:26am On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
op what do you want me to do now, since I relate more with males than females undecided
do u bleep all of dem?

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 9:31am On Apr 28, 2016
My question to people who practise this is - whom are u closer to -ur spouse or opposite gender bestie? is it your bestie u discuss with issues u can't discuss with your spouse? . When ur having problems in ur home, do u report that to ur bestie?
Cos ko ye emi O.
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by ireneony(f): 9:31am On Apr 28, 2016
Agu87:
do u bleep all of dem?
nope!

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by firstking01(m): 9:36am On Apr 28, 2016
Nice work...we still have people on nairaland who think.
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by octopusfreaky(f): 9:37am On Apr 28, 2016
i find it difficult to relate wt females,,i can count d no of female friends i have Women have big issues,,always something dat will make us fight
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by naijaboiy: 9:38am On Apr 28, 2016
Nice thread. Well as a guy I wouldn't give room for my girlfriend to have any bestie of any sort.

First of all I would try my best to be everything the so called bestie would want to be. I would be her shoulder to cry on and at the same time the dick to ride on.

Nevertheless I would still watch out for those stubborn guys who are always relentless in being a girl's bestie by all means. I'll warn her about them and make sure she knows my stand. The problem is that these girls never hear. They will keep telling you that they can control it and that nothing will happen. Don't believe that shït because these girls are as weak as anything weak when it comes to emotions.

Be the bestie she never had and if she still misbehaves to be keeping male besties outside then you may have to walk away since she's not ready.

As for the female bestie for girls, that one can be handled.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by naijaboiy: 9:39am On Apr 28, 2016
enieme:
My question to people who practise this is - whom are u closer to -ur spouse or opposite gender bestie? is it your bestie u discuss with issues u can't discuss with your spouse? . When ur having problems in ur home, do u report that to ur bestie?
Cos ko ye emi O.
Asin ehn!
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 9:40am On Apr 28, 2016
So? What am I supposed to do? Stop talking to my male bestie like you called it who we prolly met before we started dating? Why should I when you might even dump my ass tomorrow?

Only when I'm married will I reduce communication with any male friend who's not my husband. Or when the relationship is very close to the altar.

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Agu87(m): 9:46am On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
nope!
how many do u bleep?
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by naijaboiy: 9:47am On Apr 28, 2016
PinkBarbie:
So? What am I supposed to do? Stop talking to my male bestie like you called it who we prolly met before we started dating? Why should I when you might even dump my ass tomorrow?

Only when I'm married will I reduce communication with any male friend who's not my husband. Or when the relationship is very close to the altar.
Don't forget your boyfriend would also have had series of female friends before you guys met, but how will you feel if he decides not to confide in you but rather tells his old friends things that he's meant to tell you?

There are many other reasons why he's your boyfriend not just to spend money on you and take you out. If your bestie is doing the work of companionship which your boyfriend is naturally supposed to do then it's better you date your bestie.

Besides, a guy who is in a relationship will not have the time to be a bestie to anothe female who is in a relationship. The both of you will clearly have different lives. Only single guys suck up to girls and claim besties.

Having a male Bestie while still in a supposed serious relationship just cannot work. No matter the angle you look at it from, you'd still get the same result.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by ireneony(f): 9:48am On Apr 28, 2016
Agu87:
how many do u bleep?
none smiley

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 9:48am On Apr 28, 2016
naijaboiy:

Asin ehn!
Stoll waiting for them to come explain
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Agu87(m): 9:58am On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
none smiley
ok...u rmbr me?
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by ireneony(f): 9:59am On Apr 28, 2016
Agu87:
ok...u rmbr me?
hmmm ok!
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by naijaboiy: 10:17am On Apr 28, 2016
Oliviaarims I think you should see this.

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Bawsse(m): 10:23am On Apr 28, 2016
"and I don't wife em, if a nigga is her best friend....."

- Kendrick Lamarr
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Wahalaboy(m): 10:26am On Apr 28, 2016
TheSonOfMark:



Change your Facebook privacy settings . Not everyone should be able to view your posts/details except friends or friends of friends.

Lol Mark I got 5000+ followers on Facebook. Limiting my privacy to only friends shuts out my followers (who are even more in number than my friends) from my posts. Considering the fact that the followers contribute about 45% of people that read and respond to my posts.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 10:26am On Apr 28, 2016
naijaboiy:

[b]Don't forget your boyfriend would also have had series of female friends before you guys met, but how will you feel if he decides not to confide in you but rather tells his old friends things that he's meant to tell you?

There are many other reasons why he's your boyfriend not just to spend money on you and take you out. If your bestie is doing the work of companionship which your boyfriend is naturally supposed to do then it's better you date your bestie.
Well, of course I'll feel bad about it but for some people, they don't necessarily confide in their besties when their bf is there. Except on some very few occasions. Most times, we just enjoy talking/chatting with them because we've come a long way and built some level of friendship.

Besides, a guy who is in a relationship will not have the time to be a bestie to anothe female who is in a relationship. The both of you will clearly have different lives. Only single guys suck up to girls and claim besties.
This is not true. I've seen many.

Having a male Bestie while still in a supposed serious relationship just cannot work. No matter the angle you look at it from, you'd still get the same result.[/b]
All things been equal, it can. wink

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Agu87(m): 10:27am On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
hmmm ok!
it was a question jor
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by KingRex1(m): 10:28am On Apr 28, 2016
naijaboiy:

Don't forget your boyfriend would also have had series of female friends before you guys met, but how will you feel if he decides not to confide in you but rather tells his old friends things that he's meant to tell you?

There are many other reasons why he's your boyfriend not just to spend money on you and take you out. If your bestie is doing the work of companionship which your boyfriend is naturally supposed to do then it's better you date your bestie.

Besides, a guy who is in a relationship will not have the time to be a bestie to anothe female who is in a relationship. The both of you will clearly have different lives. Only single guys suck up to girls and claim besties.

Having a male Bestie while still in a supposed serious relationship just cannot work. No matter the angle you look at it from, you'd still get the same result.
Yeah man. u said it all

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Ifakiland(m): 11:23am On Apr 28, 2016
Wahalaboy:
Why Most girls today have a male best friend they call "bestie". And these besties serve as the chief custodians of the girl's emotional garbage. Because of how generally open minded, straightforward, interesting and mature guys are, girls have grown to prefer having them closer to their hearts as friends instead of having regular female best friends.

However, because of some factors I'm going to highlight now, having a male bestie while at the same time having a boyfriend is toxic to your relationship.

1. Girls find it easier to be "just friends" with guys than vice-versa. In 7/10 of cases, the male bestie usually has hidden feelings for the female bestie. When a guy has feelings for a girl and she got problems with her relationship and she asks that guy for some advice, man, out of jealousy, he is most likely to give the girl an advice toxic to the girl's relationship like- "forget it, he's not meant for you" :v

2. There are lots of Emotions transferred through problem sharing:

See, when you find yourself really comfortable sharing your problems with someone, it heightens the emotional connection between the both of you. When you share your personal problems with a guy it increases the intimacy between you two. So when you have a boyfriend but you feel more comfortable talking to another guy about your problems and he's giving a listening ear, you both start developing some kind of intimacy you wouldn't believe. And if care isn't taken, that intimacy might develop into feelings.

3. A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on:

This is self explanatory. A girl is most vulnerable when she's all emotional crying to meet a male buddy of hers telling him about her heartache. Bae, if the guy wants to take advantage of you at that moment, even Karashika can't help you. When a girl is hurt she's most likely to cry to a close male friend of hers especially when the boyfriend caused the hurt. At that point she is weak as shit and she needs succor. In many cases I've seen, the guy let's her cry on his shoulder and the lips just gets locked and....

4. In most cases, the bestie is the funnier one-

Girls are automatically more attracted to a guy when he's funny. And believe me, girls prefer to spend more time with a funny person than a boring boyfriend. So in most cases the girl spends time texting or talking with her funny-as-shit bestie rather than her always uptight super-busy boyfriend. Aside the intimacy that grows from talking to constantly with a particular person, funny guys will make a girl laugh so much the girl don't even realize when she pulls her panties.

5. It creates an unnecessary competition between your boyfriend and your bestie:

It gets to a point when your bestie becomes jealous of your boyfriend and your boyfriend becomes insecure about your bestie. Infact at one point both parties would accuse you of choosing the other one over him.

6. It's easier to cheat with your male bestie than with anyone else:

You both get playing and one thing leads to the other and you both kiss. Nothing attached... "just kiss". Doesn't seem harmless though but then you realize that no matter how casual the kiss was, you cheated already. And when you do this habitually it develops from a harmless kiss into something deeper and before you know it, you become something like "friends with benefits".

7. You are most likely to develop feelings for your bestie because you only see the good side of him.

He's like everything your boyfriend isn't. He has time to listen to your problems, he generally pays more attention to you, he's usually funnier. So you might get carried away by his charms because you only see that good part of him he shows you. When you fall for him and maybe you had to end your relationship because of him, you realize that he wasn't much better than your boyfriend.

very false my bro, wen a gal starts calling a guy bestie, it means she sees him as a non-sexual organism. Unless d guy rapes her, notin sexual can happen btw dem.

2 Likes

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Ifakiland(m): 11:32am On Apr 28, 2016
if my gf shuld av a male bestie, I won't be moved cos I know only jew guys accept such post from gals, am also not scared of my gf males frnds before we met, if she wanted to date dem she would av...the male frnds am always scared of are the ones she meets while we still dating, esp dos ones dat always form I can do better dan ur bf.
best male frnds aint d threat, the threats are d friendly guys she meets at weddings, school, church, etc while dating u.

6 Likes

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 11:50am On Apr 28, 2016
Nice write up op
Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 12:14pm On Apr 28, 2016
0ubenji:

Young man...if ur sole aim for makin thoughtul posts on NL is to hit frontpage..
Hmm u aint ready to impart ppl wit wah u claim to compose mehn..
Is it some YBNL kinda popularity u want or originality?


He simply wants to impart a larger "audience."

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 12:18pm On Apr 28, 2016
Wahalaboy:


Firstly , I triple dare you to post any link of any work I allegedly plagarized. Secondly, I only made a point. Don't relate this to publishers and sales figures. The sole intention of posts being pushed to the front page is based on the quality of the post. I know the quality of what I write and yes I feel most of them deserve to be on the front page. I merely stated a complaint in the most polite way possible and you are making an issue out of it. I don't get paid for whatever I write online and the only encouragement I get is readership.

cheesy

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 12:22pm On Apr 28, 2016
Wahalaboy:


Here's the link to my own post... on 23rd of September, the person who plagiarized mine posted on 24th.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=872632006119523&id=100001181960187&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.872632006119523%3Atl_objid.872632006119523%3Athid.100001181960187%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A1420099200%3A1451635199%3A4602917117226916723

Vindicated. smiley

2 Likes

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Wahalaboy(m): 12:26pm On Apr 28, 2016
Oliviaarims:


Vindicated. smiley

Thank you very much jor.

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 12:31pm On Apr 28, 2016
naijaboiy:
Oliviaarims I think you should see this.

Lol. I don't have any male bestie, joor. tongue You should know that. I can't deceive myself like that. It's either I like you and want sth concrete to do with you...or you just remain at arms' length. Can never call a guy my bestie when I have a boyfriend.

2 Likes

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by Nobody: 12:34pm On Apr 28, 2016
Wahalaboy:


Thank you very much jor.

cool

1 Like

Re: Why Having Male Besties Will Affect Your Relationship Negatively by dungburu: 12:38pm On Apr 28, 2016
Ifakiland:

very false my bro, wen a gal starts calling a guy bestie, it means she sees him as a non-sexual organism. Unless d guy rapes her, notin sexual can happen btw dem.
I urge uncle seun to create an unlike button to dislike some illogical statements with no clues and commonsense. The op has given u reasons that could make u fall prey and u are here stating impossibilities.

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