Why Most girls today have a male best friend they call "bestie". And these besties serve as the chief custodians of the girl's emotional garbage. Because of how generally open minded, straightforward, interesting and mature guys are, girls have grown to prefer having them closer to their hearts as friends instead of having regular female best friends.

However, because of some factors I'm going to highlight now, having a male bestie while at the same time having a boyfriend is toxic to your relationship.

1. Girls find it easier to be "just friends" with guys than vice-versa. In 7/10 of cases, the male bestie usually has hidden feelings for the female bestie. When a guy has feelings for a girl and she got problems with her relationship and she asks that guy for some advice, man, out of jealousy, he is most likely to give the girl an advice toxic to the girl's relationship like- "forget it, he's not meant for you" :v

2. There are lots of Emotions transferred through problem sharing:

See, when you find yourself really comfortable sharing your problems with someone, it heightens the emotional connection between the both of you. When you share your personal problems with a guy it increases the intimacy between you two. So when you have a boyfriend but you feel more comfortable talking to another guy about your problems and he's giving a listening ear, you both start developing some kind of intimacy you wouldn't believe. And if care isn't taken, that intimacy might develop into feelings.

3. A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on:

This is self explanatory. A girl is most vulnerable when she's all emotional crying to meet a male buddy of hers telling him about her heartache. Bae, if the guy wants to take advantage of you at that moment, even Karashika can't help you. When a girl is hurt she's most likely to cry to a close male friend of hers especially when the boyfriend caused the hurt. At that point she is weak as shit and she needs succor. In many cases I've seen, the guy let's her cry on his shoulder and the lips just gets locked and....

4. In most cases, the bestie is the funnier one-

Girls are automatically more attracted to a guy when he's funny. And believe me, girls prefer to spend more time with a funny person than a boring boyfriend. So in most cases the girl spends time texting or talking with her funny-as-shit bestie rather than her always uptight super-busy boyfriend. Aside the intimacy that grows from talking to constantly with a particular person, funny guys will make a girl laugh so much the girl don't even realize when she pulls her panties.

5. It creates an unnecessary competition between your boyfriend and your bestie:

It gets to a point when your bestie becomes jealous of your boyfriend and your boyfriend becomes insecure about your bestie. Infact at one point both parties would accuse you of choosing the other one over him.

6. It's easier to cheat with your male bestie than with anyone else:

You both get playing and one thing leads to the other and you both kiss. Nothing attached... "just kiss". Doesn't seem harmless though but then you realize that no matter how casual the kiss was, you cheated already. And when you do this habitually it develops from a harmless kiss into something deeper and before you know it, you become something like "friends with benefits".

7. You are most likely to develop feelings for your bestie because you only see the good side of him.

He's like everything your boyfriend isn't. He has time to listen to your problems, he generally pays more attention to you, he's usually funnier. So you might get carried away by his charms because you only see that good part of him he shows you. When you fall for him and maybe you had to end your relationship because of him, you realize that he wasn't much better than your boyfriend.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=872632006119523&id=100001181960187&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.872632006119523%3Atl_objid.872632006119523%3Athid.100001181960187%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A1420099200%3A1451635199%3A4602917117226916723

OP nice write up... True front page material.

If your girl tells you she has a male bestie.......DUMP HER ASAP!!! That is the first sign of Ashawo

very true

op how about female besties?

SuperSkata:
If your girl tells you she has a male bestie.......DUMP HER ASAP!!! That is the first sign of Ashawo

I agree with some points the Op stated up there.

But this your mentality is totally out of this world..
Jeeez

I'm sorry I'm a bit new here and I don't know how things are done here. But why is everyone talking about OP, I wrote this post and posted it na.

op what do you want me to do now, since I relate more with males than females

Secondly I don't know who's responsible for moving posts to the front page but they've been really unfair to me. You can click my profile to read most of my write ups that never got pushed. And I assure you, I never copy from anyone else. Everything I post here was written by myself. f

I love keeping guys as friends cos they are reliable, and your secrets can be kept with them (dem mature and responsible ones o), but having a male as my bestie, when I'm dating someone isn't right... Your boyfriend or husband/ girlfriend or wife should be your bestie to avoid stories that touches the heart

You cannot only be friends with a girl except shes extremely ugly or shes beautiful and you on the other hand have a very beautiful girlfriend

Wahalaboy:
I'm sorry I'm a bit new here and I don't know how things are done here. But why is everyone talking about OP, I wrote this post and posted it na.

means original poster 'op'

I refuse to be any girls bestie or whatever they call it. Once I know it is what you are planning towards, making me your emotional back drop, I severe communication.

akinz4u:
means original poster 'op'

Oh thanks. I appreciate.

Wahalaboy:
Secondly I don't know who's responsible for moving posts to the front page but they've been really unfair to me. You can click my profile to read most of my write ups that never got pushed. And I assure you, I never copy from anyone else. Everything I post here was written by myself. f

Young man...if ur sole aim for makin thoughtul posts on NL is to hit frontpage..
Hmm u aint ready to impart ppl wit wah u claim to compose mehn..
Is it some YBNL kinda popularity u want or originality?

Wahalaboy:
Why Most girls today have a male best friend they call "bestie". And these besties serve as the chief custodians of the girl's emotional garbage. Because of how generally open minded, straightforward, interesting and mature guys are, girls have grown to prefer having them closer to their hearts as friends instead of having regular female best friends.

However, because of some factors I'm going to highlight now, having a male bestie while at the same time having a boyfriend is toxic to your relationship.

1. Girls find it easier to be "just friends" with guys than vice-versa. In 7/10 of cases, the male bestie usually has hidden feelings for the female bestie. When a guy has feelings for a girl and she got problems with her relationship and she asks that guy for some advice, man, out of jealousy, he is most likely to give the girl an advice toxic to the girl's relationship like- "forget it, he's not meant for you" :v

2. There are lots of Emotions transferred through problem sharing:

See, when you find yourself really comfortable sharing your problems with someone, it heightens the emotional connection between the both of you. When you share your personal problems with a guy it increases the intimacy between you two. So when you have a boyfriend but you feel more comfortable talking to another guy about your problems and he's giving a listening ear, you both start developing some kind of intimacy you wouldn't believe. And if care isn't taken, that intimacy might develop into feelings.

3. A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on:

This is self explanatory. A girl is most vulnerable when she's all emotional crying to meet a male buddy of hers telling him about her heartache. Bae, if the guy wants to take advantage of you at that moment, even Karashika can't help you. When a girl is hurt she's most likely to cry to a close male friend of hers especially when the boyfriend caused the hurt. At that point she is weak as shit and she needs succor. In many cases I've seen, the guy let's her cry on his shoulder and the lips just gets locked and....

4. In most cases, the bestie is the funnier one-

Girls are automatically more attracted to a guy when he's funny. And believe me, girls prefer to spend more time with a funny person than a boring boyfriend. So in most cases the girl spends time texting or talking with her funny-as-shit bestie rather than her always uptight super-busy boyfriend. Aside the intimacy that grows from talking to constantly with a particular person, funny guys will make a girl laugh so much the girl don't even realize when she pulls her panties.

5. It creates an unnecessary competition between your boyfriend and your bestie:

It gets to a point when your bestie becomes jealous of your boyfriend and your boyfriend becomes insecure about your bestie. Infact at one point both parties would accuse you of choosing the other one over him.

6. It's easier to cheat with your male bestie than with anyone else:

You both get playing and one thing leads to the other and you both kiss. Nothing attached... "just kiss". Doesn't seem harmless though but then you realize that no matter how casual the kiss was, you cheated already. And when you do this habitually it develops from a harmless kiss into something deeper and before you know it, you become something like "friends with benefits".

7. You are most likely to develop feelings for your bestie because you only see the good side of him.

He's like everything your boyfriend isn't. He has time to listen to your problems, he generally pays more attention to you, he's usually funnier. So you might get carried away by his charms because you only see that good part of him he shows you. When you fall for him and maybe you had to end your relationship because of him, you realize that he wasn't much better than your boyfriend.

.

'Bestie' as you term it is simply a means for a lady to 'eat her cake and have it'.

Most women are emotionally greedy beings. She wants a 360 degree relationship which she knows is unavailable. She solves this dilemma by having that favourite male friend whom she wouldn't mind dating as he has everything she desires in a man except the fact that he's maybe broke for example!

So she dates a well off chap [as for my most women, financial prowess ranks no.1 in their hierarchy of needs, their reason for going into a relationship] who may not be her ideal candidate while keeping the broke chap to provide her emotional succour when she needs it [and this is usually on a regular basis as she is a specie that cannot survive without affection. They need it to thrive never minding the source of said affection].

This is the reason they easily cheat with the so called friend. Fellas know this; save you fulfill this friend role in your relationship and/or your lady is trustworthy, she's probably cheating on you courtesy of her so called friend.

Sad I know but, it's the fact of life.

I just hope the GFs will read this

Bestie dis bestie dat... He's just my bestie, we've been friends b4 I met u (story for the gods).

And b4 u know it bestie is now ur bae's new bae

I always advice people, ur bae's bestie is ur worst opponent on the sideline, hoping and praying u screw up so he can quickly jump in and take over.

0ubenji:

Young man...if ur sole aim for makin thoughtul posts on NL is to hit frontpage..
Hmm u aint ready to impact ppl wit wah u claim to compose mehn..
Is it YBNL kinda popularity u want or originality?

First, I don't want nairaland popularity, but the joy of everyone who actually writes his posts is for people, a large number of people to get to read it. I write thoughtful posts and yes I'll be glad if the views are much. So quit being hypocritical, every writer writes to be read by as many people as possible. What joy is there in composing a post only to be read by a very few people when crap posts are getting thousands of views?

mercenary:
I just hope the GFs will read this

Bestie dis bestie dat... He's just my bestie, we've been friends b4 I met u (story for the gods).

And b4 u know it bestie is now ur bae's new bae

I always advice people, ur bae's bestie is ur worst opponent on the sideline, hoping and praying u screw up so he can quickly jump in and take over.

Ur bae's bestie weda male or female is ur strong opponent..
Ideally..u shud be ur bae's bestie or probz cud arise...
Its actually more toxic to u wen ur bae has lots of female pals or besties...only a matured nd experienced guy wit relationships wud undastand dis

Wahalaboy:


First, I don't want nairaland popularity, but the joy of everyone who actually writes his posts is for people, a large number of people to get to read it. I write thoughtful posts and yes I'll be glad if the views are much. So quit being hypocritical, every writer writes to be read by as many people as possible. What joy is there in composing a post only to be read by a very few people when crap posts are getting thousands of views?

Let d post fight for itself..it'll be evident from d readers voices
Great writers don't harrass publishers to get skyrocketin sales figures...don't misbehave..
U callin me hypocritical..hmmm...if u push ur luck too hard..I'll paste d link of the work u plagiarized nd burst ur bubble...
U actin too desperate which is not a trait of originality

I knw more than one place whr dis ur post came from ..I juz chose not to say anytin..coz my maturity doesn't revel in ppl's downfall..nd d next tin is take jibes at me?
Hmmm..
These kids juz come on here finkin u can spew gibberish nd get a medal for it..#nonsense

faithugo64:
very true


op how about female besties?

It's more difficult for the chap to cheat on his woman courtesy of a female friend. Why?

female best friend without a hidden agenda wants to send a message to the chap that just because they are best of friends doesn't mean he can have her. Moreso, she may be in a vibrant relationship of her own and wouldn't want her man to assume the stuff I delineated in my other post.

Again, their motherly instincts quickly come to play here. They see him as a child that needs guidance and good mothers don't sleep with their sons!

Also, she may forever deny him any chance of being Cosy with her as payback for not choosing her in the first place thus, they religiously chant the "we are just good friends" mantra to anyone who cares to listen.

There are other reasons but I'm tired of typing.

0ubenji:

Let d post fight for itself..
Great writers don't harrass publishers to get skyrocketin sales figures...don't misbehave..
U callin me hypocritical..hmmm...if u push ur luck too hard..I'll paste d link of the work u plagiarized nd burst ur bubble...
U actin too desperate which is not a trait of originality

Firstly , I triple dare you to post any link of any work I allegedly plagarized. Secondly, I only made a point. Don't relate this to publishers and sales figures. The sole intention of posts being pushed to the front page is based on the quality of the post. I know the quality of what I write and yes I feel most of them deserve to be on the front page. I merely stated a complaint in the most polite way possible and you are making an issue out of it. I don't get paid for whatever I write online and the only encouragement I get is readership.

I concur

Wahalaboy:


Firstly , I triple dare you to post any link of any work I allegedly plagarized. Secondly, I only made a point. Don't relate this to publishers and sales figures. The sole intention of posts being pushed to the front page is based on the quality of the post. I know the quality of what I write and yes I feel most of them deserve to be on the front page. I merely stated a complaint in the most polite way possible and you are making an issue out of it. I don't get paid for whatever I write online and the only encouragement I get is readership.

https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=1415377562092632&story_fbid=1500237250273329

September 24th..2015
Let evry1 see it..simply copy nd paste..hardly any alteration..
Anytin else? OP

While we mine gf as besty wen am hear do lovin u for her.... his she craz? Me I canot let mine gf as male frnd o curse male ppl his bad and am a emosional sombody so her too have male besty his no no no no for me

0ubenji:


https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=1415377562092632&story_fbid=1500237250273329

September 4th..2015
Let evry1 see it..simply copy nd paste..hardly any alteration..
Anytin else? OP

I wrote that post first on my Facebook account. I'll share the link now. Give me 5 mins. Thank you.

0ubenji:


https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=1415377562092632&story_fbid=1500237250273329

September 4th..2015
Let evry1 see it..simply copy nd paste..hardly any alteration..
Anytin else? OP

Here's the link to my own post... on 23rd of September, the person who plagiarized mine posted on 24th.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=872632006119523&id=100001181960187&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.872632006119523%3Atl_objid.872632006119523%3Athid.100001181960187%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A1420099200%3A1451635199%3A4602917117226916723

And Oubenji, just in case ure doubting if I'm Victor Daniel, you can check my nairaland profile for my details. Thank you.

Wahalaboy:


I wrote that post first on my Facebook account. I'll share the link now. Give me 5 mins. Thank you.

Don't bother dude..I was avoidin dis ..lolz
I hate comin across to ppl as an antagonist..
U forced me into meddling in such morally unprofitable affairs dude..
As ur monicker implies..lolz...WAhaLAboY

JUST LET IT GO

0ubenji:

Don't bother dude..I was avoidin dis ..lolz
I hate comin across to ppl as an antagonist..
U forced me into meddling in such morally unprofitable affairs dude..
As ur monicker implies..lolz...WAhaLAboY

JUST LET IT GO

Ehn have you sha followed the link I posted

Wahalaboy:


Ehn have you sha followed the link I posted

Ofcuz I've viewed it....stil proves nothin to me..cox dat wasn't wah I was ur afta "ur downfall"
I was actuali comin across u to u as a broda wit d advice tin b4 u threw stones..
Let's not go wit d originality of the post again..I dnt wanna stress u dis mornin OP..I can be incredulous if I wanna be..
We wud argue nd argue til thy kingdom come nd I stil no go bulge..nd it wud greatly derail dis thread of urs..
Do av a nice day mahn

Wahalaboy:
And Oubenji, just in case ure doubting if I'm Victor Daniel, you can check my nairaland profile for my details. Thank you.

You really don't have to keep replying that guy. You're only wasting your time. By the way, you're derailing your thread.