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Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Nobody: 9:09pm On Apr 26, 2016
If the feeling you had weeks before marriage matches that of weeks after the wedding ceremony then you just got the best thing.

However if you feel differently then sorry you are screwed.


There is no difference between when dating and being married. You guys just changed status and stopped living under different roofs.

1 Like

Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by HaneefahRN(f): 9:25am On Apr 27, 2016
Hmmmm
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by sirAmeh(m): 10:49am On Apr 27, 2016
Observing and picking up some points!!!! grin

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Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Nobody: 10:45pm On Apr 27, 2016
Before I got married, I thought the communication advice in marriage was overated. After marriage, especially in my first year, I discovered communication was actually one key factor in a great marriage. Talk to and with your spouse especially when conflicts arise. I am naturally reserved and so I will clam up and give my loving Husband the silent treatment. He is more extroverted and found the silent treatment infuriating/confusing. Sometimes, He wouldn't even know I was angry! He taught me to air my feelings on time and fully. Life is so much sweeter as quarrels are quickly settled this way and the love can continue to grow.
Another factor is that I married a Man I love, respect and admire. There is really nothing I am desperate to change about Him. Our courtship didn't start this way (He was just a very good friend). But after 3 years of courtship and just before our wedding, I felt this way. I knew I was making the best choice. Wish u the best.

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Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Owliver(m): 2:45pm On Apr 28, 2016
OP am not married but i have something to say to you.

my parents are married for about 28years now or more and i see how they relate(quarrel, fight,laughs, jokes etc), before you do pls look at life in general. there is no gain. the bane of every living thing(humans in this case) is comfort. never let pains bring out the true nature in you. every living thing (human in this case) is selfish so never be surprised whatever you see marriage or not. communicate, let go, make sacrifices and live smiling. with this mentality "i think" one could have an edge


once again, i apologise for the fact that am not married but commented. wink

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Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 6:16pm On May 15, 2016
jashar:


smiley
My friend how are you?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 6:21pm On May 15, 2016
Marxxx:
My friend how are you?

It's Marrxxxxxx grin grin. I'm good oooo. You nko?
Long time no chat. cheesy
How's work?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 6:26pm On May 15, 2016
YourCoffin:
OP, no more marriage and relationship nonsense from you please. Those are frivolities and should be left for those who are designed to engage in frivolities.

I like the way you think- even though it's rigidly one-directional, which I suspect is a consequence of your consulting firm's engagement approach, it's satisfactorily holistic. Write s/th Marxx like jare. Dissect s/th other than marriage and relationship. Even how to cut cost while browsing Nairaland sounds fun embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed
Really?? Discussing marriage is not tantamount to discussing futility nor frivolity...I have also contributed to the career and educational section of this forum...ohhh you want us to discuss financial management? ROI? Lol...cut cost while browsing? Really? Lol...funny...
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 6:28pm On May 15, 2016
jashar:


It's Marrxxxxxx grin grin. I'm good oooo. You nko?
Long time no chat. cheesy
How's work?
Fine...how is school/work? I hope you are no longer walking 10miles?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 7:30pm On May 15, 2016
Marxxx:
Fine...how is school/work? I hope you are no longer walking 10miles?

All fine. Ah, old things have pass away. grin no more trekking in my life ooo.
My exams are next month. Pray for me oo. It's my 1st semester exams cheesy
How's work? You owe me books ooo shey you know.
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 10:52pm On May 15, 2016
jashar:


All fine. Ah, old things have pass away. grin no more trekking in my life ooo.
My exams are next month. Pray for me oo. It's my 1st semester exams cheesy
How's work? You owe me books ooo shey you know.
what are you studying? What level?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 5:52am On May 16, 2016
Marxxx:
what are you studying? What level?

Economics. 1st year. smiley
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 10:34am On May 16, 2016
Marxxx:
what are you studying? What level?


I just realised something. angry 2 things sef. I asked you how work is 2ce, you didn't respond. And you're keeping mute about my books. cry.

I wee report you to "you-know-who" na oooo. All I have to do is mention D..t grin
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 12:30am On May 26, 2016
jashar:



I just realised something. angry 2 things sef. I asked you how work is 2ce, you didn't respond. And you're keeping mute about my books. cry.

I wee report you to "you-know-who" na oooo. All I have to do is mention D..t grin
ahhh..i have so many mentions unanswered ...work is Die...unlike before when we had enough competent trainees...Economics is good. Ensure you graduate top of your class...your books, really? Did we exchange or did I borrow any of your book(s)...pls enlighten me on "your books"...
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Sweetestrose(f): 6:29am On May 26, 2016
I was a silent and apt observer of this thread, enjoying and gaining from various contributions of different personality and followed the op's instruction about not commenting if not married but now I have to comment and simultaneously seek an unreserved apology from the op and his economic undergraduate partner for derailing the thread. Cc: seun, lalasticlala, wollexie 1106, gbens 2000, sweethoneypie, puffcity, Mynd44 etc......

4 Likes

Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 10:04am On May 26, 2016
Marxxx:
ahhh..i have so many mentions unanswered ...work is Die...unlike before when we had enough competent trainees...Economics is good. Ensure you graduate top of your class...your books, really? Did we exchange or did I borrow any of your book(s)...pls enlighten me on "your books"...

It's Marxxxxxxxxx grin cheesy grin

@ Work- well done dear. Don't worry, when I graduate next year, you wee employ me abi... don't worry, I am competent. cheesy

@school- I wee kukuma try. Although there's no grading system like 1st class et al in my programme. I even wrote my 1st test on Monday.I have another one for next week Monday. grin

@ books- ahn ahn naaa. Abi it's you that travel to Australia and I ask you what you brought back. You now come and say it's books you brought.
I now come and say I don't mind books ooo grin grin grin

Great hearing from you again.
Till..... smiley
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by udumosam23(m): 3:51pm On May 26, 2016
Marxxx:
I asked an acquaintance this question and he told e "It is difficult to be father and more difficult to be a husband". Seriously the only the thing I think about apart from work is marriage. I am just so scared whenever I remember it's about time. I see marriage as something difficult. I often doubt if I will make a good father or husband. I was thinking about the number of kids I would love to bear and I couldn't even figure it out. Is marriage a spontaneous thing that doesn't require much planning? I often doubt I will make a good father because the feeling of being responsible for someone else beats my comprehension. Adjusting to a new lifestyle that stiffens freedom and spontaneity is also wearing me out. I don't even know if I possess the qualities of a good husband. To me marriage is an Enigma the more I try to understand the less I comprehend. Looking at the bigger picture (concept of family) where my wife will give birth and relations from both sides will start visiting is another thing that is freaking me out. I have lived close to nine years alone and my relatives have only visited few times and they didn't even spend the night...Sometimes I hear about married couples accommodating the wife siblings and other extended family members. I can't even live with mine peacefully let alone my wife's...I am very poor with kids, especially when they become unruly or inquisitive or too playful or when they cant just stop jumping or talking...my Nephew spent just 3days with me instead of one week and he wanted to commit suicide by crying. All the great toys couldn't pacify him. I heard if you can survive the first year you can out live others, I can't pour out all my fears and worries here...so how did you cope in your first year? I am eager so eager to read ur posts.



Op, believe me I felt same way when I was about to marry. But to my utter amazement I'm doing just fine.

First three was trouble packed. Need to give up random visitation of friends, watching late matches, become a teacher ( Sunday school teacher) who have to answer every life questions, and so on.

Your wife will need your attention in the morning, mid morning, noon, afternoon and night. She wouldn't mind calling you to come back from work over a lizard she saw in the kitchen lols. All these you'll experience at the beginig.

But soon, gradually but consistently, almost without you knowing, you'll adapt. Because of the fear I nursed, we decided we will have only two kids, but if things improve we'll adopt to make them three.

So far, this is my second year, though I've giving up a lot, I most confess its worth it. And my boy is just mini me.

4 Likes

Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by titane: 10:30am On Jun 10, 2016
Marxxx:
I know we all have ideas about marriage. But please if you are not married kindly observe I will appreciate a pragmatic post from a MARRIED person.
you are proud, rude and conceited. nonsense
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 11:31am On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


It's Marxxxxxxxxx grin cheesy grin

@ Work- well done dear. Don't worry, when I graduate next year, you wee employ me abi... don't worry, I am competent. cheesy

@school- I wee kukuma try. Although there's no grading system like 1st class et al in my programme. I even wrote my 1st test on Monday.I have another one for next week Monday. grin

@ books- ahn ahn naaa. Abi it's you that travel to Australia and I ask you what you brought back. You now come and say it's books you brought.
I now come and say I don't mind books ooo grin grin grin

Great hearing from you again.
Till..... smiley

looooolllll....good morning...well the books may not interest you much...they were basically about revolutions in Southern(latin) America,...and biographies and works of Enersto guevara, fidel nd Raul castro(guerilla leftists approach)
Rodriguez, Mario, paz, Ovando,nuno...et al
"I am not thinking about a revolution (lols)
Because I don't think there can be another Che guevara"....marxxx(2016)
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 12:04pm On Jun 21, 2016
titane:
you are proud, rude and conceited. nonsense
Is that all you can say...?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 12:24pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
looooolllll....good morning...well the books may not interest you much...they were basically about revolutions in Southern(latin) America,...and biographies and works of Enersto guevara, fidel nd Raul castro(guerilla leftists approach)
Rodriguez, Mario, paz, Ovando,nuno...et al
"I am not thinking about a revolution (lols)
Because I don't think there can be another Che guevara"....marxxx(2016)

My blue moon fwend. It's Marxxxxxxxxxx...... grin

Howdy? Where are you always disappearing to sef? Hian. Just forgerring about 'we the people' on this side. Issorait cry.

@ all you typed. You say? grin grin grin


Has your pet gone to the other side?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 12:45pm On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


My blue moon fwend. It's Marxxxxxxxxxx...... grin

Howdy? Where are you always disappearing to sef? Hian. Just forgerring about 'we the people' on this side. Issorait cry.

@ all you typed. You say? grin grin grin


Has your pet gone to the other side?
I did not disappear....lol...Zara is with God...how is dyt....I am so much in a bad shape....pretty bad shape...funny enough whenever I remember you that is when I visit this forum. I have been struggling to complete a write up on the career/job section. I hope I will be able to that...how is school?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 12:52pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
I did not disappear....lol...Zara is with God...how is dyt....I am so much in a bad shape....pretty bad shape...funny enough whenever I remember you that is when I visit this forum. I have been struggling to complete a write up on the career/job section. I hope I will be able to that...how is school?

so sorry about Zara. cry. Dyt is somewhere around, still having identity crisis upandan grin.

'sup with you? Care to share? smiley

School's fine would finish my exams this Friday.
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 1:02pm On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


so sorry about Zara. cry. Dyt is somewhere around, still having identity crisis upandan grin.

'sup with you? Care to share? smiley

School's fine would finish my exams this Friday.
wow...that's good...I am sick....real sick...and I have an appointment on 30th...but I am already having serious aches and pain...I have cancer...I was diagnosed early last year initially I had thought it was pneumonia....but it was freaking cancer..."identity crisis"...lol...I like your post and your use of language...
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 1:15pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
wow...that's good...I am sick....real sick...and I have an appointment on 30th...but I am already having serious aches and pain...I have cancer...I was diagnosed early last year initially I had thought it was pneumonia....but it was freaking cancer..."identity crisis"...lol...I like your post and your use of language...

Hmmm.... let's talk offline. care to drop your mail? You can edit the post later.
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 1:29pm On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


Hmmm.... let's talk offline. care to drop your mail? You can edit the post later.
I don't want to get attached with anything I have successfully tried to keep my acquaintances at a distance including my relationship which I terminated and you were privy about what transpired. This is life, this all I get and I am not bitter about it...It has never been this bad really...I guess it's another stage of the ailment. I was pretty cool till the first week of the this month when I couldn't breath....i miss work...lolllllllll...I have resigned but they don't want to accept my resignation yet...I guess I will have enough time to spend with family...
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 1:31pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
I don't want to get attached with anything I have successfully tried to keep my acquaintances at a distance including my relationship which I terminated and you were privy about what transpired. This is life, this all I get and I am not bitter about it...

hmmm.....

no wahala. but sometimes, being alone is not the best way to go.

all the best. smiley Should you change your mind, I'm just a message away. smiley

smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Dyt(f): 1:38pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
wow...that's good...I am sick....real sick...and I have an appointment on 30th...but I am already having serious aches and pain...I have cancer...I was diagnosed early last year initially I had thought it was pneumonia....but it was freaking cancer..."identity crisis"...lol...I like your post and your use of language...


shocked sad sad shocked sad
Pele ooo

I no even know wetin I go talk sef

Jashar ooo
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by jashar(f): 1:38pm On Jun 21, 2016
Dyt:



shocked sad sad shocked sad
Pele ooo

I no even know wetin I go talk sef

Jashar ooo

My dear................. where we wan start from?
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Dyt(f): 1:39pm On Jun 21, 2016
Marxxx:
I don't want to get attached with anything..


And there he goes again
undecided undecided
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Dyt(f): 1:41pm On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


My dear................. where we wan start from?

He's lucky to have people stretch hands for friendship but he prefers to suck
Sorry I am harsh but hey
I won't/can't dictate how you live your life

Pele
Re: Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage? by Marxxx: 1:43pm On Jun 21, 2016
jashar:


hmmm.....

no wahala. but sometimes, being alone is not the best way to go.

all the best. smiley Should you change your mind, I'm just a message away. smiley

smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley
Jashar your friend is here dyt...She is male now....dyt why the "identity crisis"

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