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Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Od31(m): 9:53am On Jun 17, 2017 |
habeny: Hmmmm, my dear, No man who truly love his wife, or girl, will act like that. It is a pointer that he does not respect your person, or that he is probably doing you a favor for wanting to marry you. This is not good sign at all. A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage!! If he does not have any respect and regard for you now, be sure it will be far worse when you are both married. Far worse!!!! \ |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by chynie: 9:55am On Jun 17, 2017 |
Humility017:He doesn't beat her. He only abuses her verbally. In your relationship are you ppl always ever happy. That's y I said she should talk to him and have a rethink if he doesn't change |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by pocohantas(f): 9:59am On Jun 17, 2017 |
tosyne2much:Why do you think I hate you? |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by LordAdam16: 10:01am On Jun 17, 2017 |
Toks2008: Let me see, you give advice on marriage and you think abuse is something to be "tolerated?" Is that a sick joke or something? Sure, everyone has a bad side. But the real issue is the definition of a bad side. Bad cooking is an issue, not having an ambition is an issue, being dirty is an issue. Verbal/Physical abuse is not an issue, it is a major problem. A problem no one has to tolerate. It is in the same league with alcohol and betting addictions, in that the person has to realize he has a major problem that needs immediate fixing, whether that is rehab, anger management classes, intense counselling, or all of the above. A lady (if she chooses to remain) in such a relationship can then provide needed support to get through that specific low in the man's life. This is far from tolerating, which assumes that it is something that one can live with. The OP's fiance doesn't even think he's doing anything wrong. No one deserves to tolerate abuse. And there is nothing more sickening than hearing the classic "check yourself" directive. It is so wrong, I can't even begin to rationalize why people feel it is a point worth sharing. You don't ask a seller of alcohol to check him/herself as to why his/her customer is an addict. Even if a woman is nagging and rude, is the appropriate response from a mature person abuse? Why can't the man take the high road and take concrete steps to deal with that problem, rather than muddling it up by entering beast mode. Two wrongs don't make a right. The moment a man feels he has to be abusive to effect a change in behavior or pass a point across, then there needs to be a serious evaluation by both parties on the way forward. That's a figurative crossroad, not a bump. People who equate bad cooking to abuse are people who never grew up in abusive homes, never been with abusive partners, never listened to someone pouring their heart out after receiving abuse for an extended period of time, never had a close relation (daughter or sister) show a bruised face, or have a tendency to be abusive themselves. It is very easy to ask people to tolerate something you've never experienced or had first-hand interaction with. -Lord 8 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by teehamzat(m): 10:02am On Jun 17, 2017 |
fussy34:How much for subcribtion, if u cant say it here dont bother quoting me |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by tosyne2much(m): 10:03am On Jun 17, 2017 |
pocohantas:It's very obvious that my friend (a Nairalander) even asked me if I've ever done any wrong to you for you to habour such amount of hatred against me |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Jadeng: 10:05am On Jun 17, 2017 |
OP, There is a great difference between Love, Lost and infatuation. You need to be honest with yourself and know which is leading you. Let me ask; where and how did you meet this guy? How long have you been dating before marriage proposals? What are your real reasons for getting married to him? Do both you talk real talk or it's just fantasy? Night clubs, parties, pepersoup joints, etc, only. How does his family and friends see or receive you? Did you guys attended any prematial class or counselling? This important because your idea about courtship and marriage might be wrong. If you guys are NOT friends, marrying him will lead to frustration because it lead to bitterness, betrayals and infidelity. I noticed the arguments mentioned and you trying to correct him. Fact is you cannot change him or try to make him fit into your template of a perfect man.. Trying to change your partner is one of the major causes of conflicts in most marriages. You can only influence a person and allow God to change him. Here is what the scripture says about Love: 1 Cor.13:1-13. "1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 4. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love". Marriage was created by God and He alone can help you operate or function in marriage based on His precepts if you are willing. GEN. 2:24-25. 'Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed". Note: Leave and then Cleave were mentioned. You can lookup the meaning these words. Marriage is not a joke. It is much more a spiritual connection than physical. Maybe he grew up in a home where is dad abused his mother or you grew up in a home where your mother called the shots. This ultimately affect your perception of marriage until you are ready to "Leave" and "Cleave". Maybe he drives big cars, has a high paying job and lives in a mansion and you got attracted to him. Mabybe he is smooth talker and you like his slangy expressions. Maybe he is the man all the ladies run after and you were able to grab him. I cloud go and on.... but does he really love you? what do you really desire? Another thing is maybe you played hard to get; he got you and has slept with you and now sees you as a trophy. Sex before marriage can lead to "see finish" mentality and disrespect. Since he has licked all the honey before marriage, now it is only moon that is left! What the guy has alway dreamt of is honeymoon.... Perhaps, he is not ready to settle down and you are the person pushing for marriage... I wish to go on but i have attend to other things now... I leave you with this; don't get desperate to get married because of peer or social pressure. There is no smoke without fire! "Marriage is like having DSTV with unlimited amazing channels; you can only select one chanel to watch and remote is taken away and you will watch ONLY what you have chosen for the rest of your life" __ Basket Mouth. So choose wisely... My prayer is that God will help you take the right decision and cause everything to work together for your good. |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by pocohantas(f): 10:06am On Jun 17, 2017 |
tosyne2much:I don' hate you or any other Nairalander. I say my mind and move on. Why did you edit you post to add something not necessary? Where did you get that from? |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by paradice: 10:08am On Jun 17, 2017 |
habeny: People don't change in marriage. Do not work it out. Forget that guy and marriage and look for better partner! You are still young! That guy is abusive. abusing you emotional and trust me He will not change. I am married |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by pocohantas(f): 10:09am On Jun 17, 2017 |
LordAdam16:Why you so smart? 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by teehamzat(m): 10:12am On Jun 17, 2017 |
God!...i fvking hate threads hitting front page,people talk a lot, imagine someone writing over 2000 words all for a comment..#nonsense 4 Likes
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Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by kowalsky: 10:12am On Jun 17, 2017 |
PrickGetSize: I laugh in tomato dike's husband voice |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by LordAdam16: 10:20am On Jun 17, 2017 |
pocohantas: Good morning dear, How are you holding up? PS: For real, this issue is personal. -Lord |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Lizy100: 10:24am On Jun 17, 2017 |
He is hot tempered. Can you manage it? If yes go ahead but talk to him or you complain to your marriage counselling head in church. They will advice him. Then watch out. Avoid anything that brings argument. Every issue in relationship to some people is break up break up. Where is the place of patience and hardwork. Even marriage helps people to be mature mentally,spiritually, financially, emotionally etc if they want to. If he really loves you I guess he will do anything to want to keep you. |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Menzy86(m): 10:24am On Jun 17, 2017 |
My best friend has a girlfriend who calls him a THING right in front of me when she was explaining what happened between them to me. The guy still putting up with the rship for only God knows why and its a very recurrent stuff. Guess some people are specially programmed to be insulted. As for me and my brain, the woman that has the temerity to outrightly insult me gets at most TWO warnings. Then she is out! |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by femi4: 10:46am On Jun 17, 2017 |
PrickGetSize:Ori e kope rara. A man that will beat a woman starts with verbal abuse 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by pocohantas(f): 10:46am On Jun 17, 2017 |
LordAdam16:Good morning too. I'm holding up just fine. You? Personal? How personal? |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by joceey(m): 10:55am On Jun 17, 2017 |
Jman06: Is like you read well........quote me well it common among those that never went to school from the east...... ......If my stupidity is legendary then yours is what Go and make a life nitwit |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Elle277(f): 11:00am On Jun 17, 2017 |
Insult him harder and know how far he can manage your insult, then you decide if you can take his reactions or not plus check his other sides, how good/bad are they? |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Awoleesu(m): 11:05am On Jun 17, 2017 |
And what have you been doing wrong which makes him treat you thus? |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by ImaIma1(f): 11:57am On Jun 17, 2017 |
stuffs4me: You really like the word "dumb"...obviously a word you have come to become. I am not one of those kinds that you can intimidate with your degrading words. If you like spill all the vulgar and abusive words you learnt from the day you were born till this minute, you own your trap. All these awaiting result small boys that think they know jack will come and be mouthing off here. Save the abuses for the females in your family and don't come and form Van Damme on your keypad. |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by NaijaBlend: 11:58am On Jun 17, 2017 |
My sister, many married ladies in hell today never had the kind of opportunity you have to know who exactly they are getting married to. You have a RED FLAG dangling before you. The only problem is that most ladies are too desperate to get married that they ignore all signs. God is showing you that in real trouble. Flee!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 11:58am On Jun 17, 2017 |
U are old enough to decide what to do but if I'm to advise you, I would say u should walk away now when u still can. I don't want u to come back here to ask us if u should end the marriage because your husband beats you each time he comes home. You should count yourself lucky that he's showing u signs now. As I said earlier, u alone are in the best position to decide what u want. |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by FromZeroToHero(m): 12:01pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
How can you just conclude like that. He might be a potential wife beater but that doesn't mean he's a misogynist Amarabae: |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by managermahmud: 12:23pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
tosyne2much:Guy you fall my hand big time. Your view was actually off point. See the way people are mentioning me saying I'm wrong to think that you are intelligent |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by ATK4Joy(f): 12:25pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
amokeme:. God bless you for this response! I once dated someone like that her fiance n it was he'll on earth he's always right! Though the date is close but she needs a rethink on this decision broken rshp is better than broken marriage! That's too much for a lady of 26yrs 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Toks2008(m): 12:28pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
LordAdam16: Save yourself all these uneeded sermon and simply understand that what is an issue to you may not be an issue to another....Simple |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by tosyne2much(m): 12:41pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
femi4:Hahaha |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by Mygbadebo(m): 12:55pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
it foolishness to see what will break your home in the future and you ignore it..A wise "man" forsees evil and hide his head while the fool walks in darkness |
Re: My Fiancé Verbally Insults Me Always by tosyne2much(m): 12:59pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
managermahmud:No vex baba.. I will tell the mods to bring down my comment |
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