Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know - Romance (7)

Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,160,594 members, 7,843,888 topics. Date: Wednesday, 29 May 2024 at 12:24 PM

Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know - Romance (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know (63654 Views)

The Model That Dated Jim Iyke May Join BBN Season 6 - See 20 Attractive Photos O / I Sent N500k To My Fiancée To Open A Shop, She Used It To Settle Family Issues / Pre-wedding Photos Of Nairalanders That Dated For 10years (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nodogragra4me(m): 12:15pm On Nov 14, 2019

Since you stated that making the decision disturbs you in the spirit then she must be left alone. Decision as to life partners must first give you inner peace before anything else and since this is not the case, let her alone.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Hoodbilonia: 12:15pm On Nov 14, 2019

Spiritual konji by nigga raw

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by HowDareU: 12:15pm On Nov 14, 2019

pocohantas:

The most retardèd law on the face of the earth. Nigerian exes that act like enemies are th same ones that have sex with each other. Enough to form one dumb law.

Only two people who haven't truly moved on would do that shii.

Naija guys think too highly of themselves and their sexual skills... but na them swallow tramadol and monkey tail pass

And in your mind every guy is involved in this tramadol and codeine sh*t. For me I go natural. By the time I pin you to the wall, na your pu**y go hear am!

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by bukatyne(f): 12:16pm On Nov 14, 2019

bigpicture001:
J

Jeeeez!.....been ages av seen, heard a lady speak so candid nd straight without emotions....

Honestly am moved...I want to know u plz

That you for the compliments.

I am bukatyne, a 31yr old female Nairalander.

Have a great day.

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by cardoso222: 12:17pm On Nov 14, 2019

If truly you need happiness and want to live to your old age,LEAVE her and look for your own wife elsewhere.
The wsybyou narrated it sound like yoiu have Animasaun.Before long you will hear from friends and neighbours that 90% of them have had affairs with her.
I had a similar girl many years ago and until I cornered her,that I remained my peace.
She confessed and thank God it wasn't too late for me.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by bukatyne(f): 12:17pm On Nov 14, 2019

Brightgem:
Everything that's been said and would be said. This covers it neatly, logically and sensically. Aluf all you have said.

Thank you.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nodogragra4me(m): 12:18pm On Nov 14, 2019

Pafoma:

What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them.

I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it

It is not what it will do for or to you but to her.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Angrymode: 12:18pm On Nov 14, 2019

Please it's better to start afresh with someone of a better moral standing than these kinda girl.

Don't say you were not told o!!!

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Manson3525: 12:19pm On Nov 14, 2019

Think deeply about the things you know. Has she changed? Are you disturbed by her past? If two of you still agree to be together, please carry on with your relationship. Genuine love is not easy to come by.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by BraniacX(m): 12:20pm On Nov 14, 2019

I can feel your pain bro, been there too, especially when such girl is supersexy and her sex game is on point, I wanted to settle with mine too but luck shined on me and I met someone far better, not in terms of looks or sex, but in terms of character, personality and companionship, a wife is a soulmate bro, meaning she must be a friend and companion first, someone who subconsciously shares your burden and joys as if it were hers, if this girl of yours is that to you then carry on, otherwise if it is all affairs of the flesh then find someone else because I like to believe marriage is for life

3 Likes

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Tomiwah: 12:21pm On Nov 14, 2019

Hmm.... here's my thought. I think the root of you not having peace of mind is that....., though she's trying to change. You discovered that she's WEAK where other guys are concerned. There lies your fears.
Fears like will she not do it again? Is she strong enough to overcome THAT WEAKNESS of hers? You discovered that you can't trust her with other guys when you're not there....
That is why you don't have peace of mind my brother...
Here is my advice since you claimed to love her. Pray my brother. Only God knows the future. I believe only God can take away your doubts of her. Let God guide you.
There are oloshos of today who were like Virgin Mary in the past. And there are good wives of today who were baddies in the past.
Forget about those friends and acquaintances..... in the end you'll discover they don't really matter. IT IS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DECISION ONLY....

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by iwaeda: 12:21pm On Nov 14, 2019

babyfaceafrica:
easier said than done

Yes, but nothing one cant forgive or forget

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by pocohantas(f): 12:22pm On Nov 14, 2019

izzou:

Oh bro, you're complicating issues by explaining too much

This girl has had flings with your circle in the past. She never denied it, your hommies didn't either.

If you love her, and you truly know she's changed,
wife her. If you know your don't trust her anymore, or you'll care so much about what your friends think or say, let the babe go. It's that simple

Maybe you never loved her that much initially.

See your mouth. It you know say I done knack Pope, peep, tojah and all your guys for UbER thread, you go still call me bae?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by GhostWisperer: 12:23pm On Nov 14, 2019

mysticgal:
It saddens me that some people are condemning this lady. Okay, if this was the reverse case I.e a man, would you all allow the lady to marry the man? SMH.

From all the op said, it wasn’t casual sex, she at one point ‘Dated’ them but it was foolery so exactly how is this a problem? Besides, he says that the guys and himself are no longer friends.
Okay let’s imagine if he doesn’t marry her and he marries someone else, how are you sure op, that people who know the girl wouldn’t talk about you and your spouse over drinks, except she’s a FARGIN .

The only problem with I am having with this whole talk is you being restless. If you are, please forget it and let her go too. find someone else.

And anybody who is said to be matured ,who has sex with someone wouldn’t talk about shit because that’s what maturity is all about.

fool.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by chinsyyy(f): 12:23pm On Nov 14, 2019

Bros if actually you love her and you sure she has changed ,nothing wrong in marrying her. we all have a history.

But you say you're worried? then quit the whole thing you can't get married to something you're not happy about. goodluck

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 12:24pm On Nov 14, 2019

tunjilana:
Some women are to be wifed while some are to be left as booty calls....when a man does not know when to draw the line, it is a problem....go and start dating another lady....gradually de prioritize her in your mind...keep searching...till you find a woman that gives you peace and whose history isnt so bad and not within your circle....build trust with that one and let go of this one cos even if she becomes an angel...your mind will still run riots on things she's done...When a woman respect and loves u...she cant be "soft" with guys...convert her to a booty call and always use protection....

Unfortunately,i wont and cannot be dating her and date someone else, not even have a side chic. it is either i am in or out.

I am way passed the age of childishness or youthful exuberance. Many of the people commenting here are saying she is cheating, but in my original post, i am sure i mentioned these things were in her past and she is working on herself.. i see the obvious changes too although she is not there yet

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 12:25pm On Nov 14, 2019

Tales by moonlight cheesy

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by izzou(m): 12:25pm On Nov 14, 2019

pocohantas:

See your mouth. It you know say I done lnack Pope, peep, tojah and all your guys for UbER thread, you go still call me bae?

Lol

Let's be honest. Everyone has a past, and everyone has a fault.

That someone is soft on others, doesn't mean dey must nack them. I've met married ladies that are soft.

He dwells so much on her fault instead of trying to see how he can make her better. It's his choice sha

If girls judge me by my past, na seminary I go end up

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by gbadexy(m): 12:25pm On Nov 14, 2019

This one is tricky, would you be able to take off your mind from the fact that your friends have slept with your wife again?
The being soft got my attention, guys would most likely be playing ping pong with her with that attitude.
Its better for guys to say she is rude or strongs face than for her not wanting to hurt feelings and turn to public property. she may not have the intention of doing anything but she can only wade off so many pressures before she succumb.
We guys take girls trying to be nice as green light that she likes us and if a girl doesn't react firmly to a seemingly playful attempt a guy testing the water to see how difficult it would be, it would embolden him to up the level of play gradually with the single minded intention of sleeping with her whenever she loses guard.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 12:26pm On Nov 14, 2019

baby124:

Your wife is probably being paraded by one idiot right now, who she knows she can’t marry. And is using him to pass time.

Jisos! God please let ladies Not use me to pass time. Amen IJN. sad

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by dhoney007: 12:27pm On Nov 14, 2019

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

It's better to let her go.. I've had someone like that she enjoys my company and sxx but when I gained admission she started messing around...till she did it with my best friend so don't deceive yourself....a pig will always love to wallow in dirt. #Free_Her
so this girl in question is the one you want to settle down with? I pity you
she might eventually eliminate you and move on with the right person
we men get jealous than women I'm sure you can't bear it... so kindly let her go and start a new year with a new girlfriend or exercise some patience till you find the right person.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 12:28pm On Nov 14, 2019

bukatyne:

That you for the compliments.

I am bukatyne, a 31yr old female Nairalander.

Have a great day.

Please tell them you are married oooooh before they scatter you email.

Anyway sha, except your hubby is a sailor. Then you need occasional flogging.

grin

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by lexy2014: 12:30pm On Nov 14, 2019

mysticgal:

Yes I have, so do you think they know what okafors law is? Or is there any name to it other than the former?

What is okafors law? Is it a universal law? Have u had interactions with all d men from other countries in d world?

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by MNDY(m): 12:31pm On Nov 14, 2019

Yinibixema:
[s][/s]
Ever heard of okafor’s law?

This Okafor's Law, how can I get it? Is it a movie or a piece of writing. Saw it somewhere and liked it but couldn't save it.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by midnighter(f): 12:31pm On Nov 14, 2019

Fashdeejay:
I would say this to you, it's not what you want to read, but the reason she is soft with guys is because ur girl has got low self esteem, so she feels she has to give it up free, don't be surprised if she is still giving it up because certain people take advantage of her weakness...

Exactly, some people are shy when it comes to saying no and end up doing what they may not have intended.

But the thing is that at a point you would have seen the writing on the wall after being burned a few times, especially if you are in a serious relationship and heading towards marriage

In this country where even a bus conductor will be grabbing you anyhow so that you will enter his vehicle...one should learn to drive guys away and avoid embarrassment because at the end women will always take the lions share of the blame

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 12:31pm On Nov 14, 2019

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

Didmt u know she has slept with a lot of people in ur circle before u started dating her or before u decided to marry her?

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Yinibixema: 12:33pm On Nov 14, 2019

MNDY:

This Okafor's Law, how can I get it? Is it a movie or a piece of writing. Saw it somewhere and liked it but couldn't save it.

Okafor’s law is everywhere and you can download the law on google

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mbjsuki(m): 12:34pm On Nov 14, 2019

THE ISSUE HERE IS VERY SIMPLE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED ON A NUMBER OF THINGS.
ONE IN PARTICULAR IS,CAN YOU MANAGE HER EVEN IF YOU MARRY HER IN THE LIGHT OF WHAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED OR HIGHLIGHTED?
HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN SHOULD CAST THE FIRST STONE. AS IT IS FOR LADIES TO JUMP BED AND FLARE FOR MEN SO IS IT FOR SOME MEN TOO TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. BUT THE ISSUE HERE IS THE ABILITY ON YOUR PATH TO IGNORE ALL THESE NOISE AND FOCUS ON BUILDING HER UP IF YOU CAN STAND THE WHOLE PROCESS.
HOWEVER,SO LONG YOU HAVE DECIDED TO STAY WITH HER THERE ARE BOUND TO BE GIST AND SIDE TALK AND THAT IS WHERE YOU NEED TO BE A MAN. BUT IF YOU CAN NOT STAND IT THEN IT IS NOT TOO LATE YOU MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE NOW. THERE IS NO SHAME IN IT.

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Offpoint: 12:34pm On Nov 14, 2019

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

I've been in your shoes, I believe there are not perfect human being out there. True love is finding someone with faults and choosing to love them irrespective of their imperfections.

The moment we start looking for a perfect human, then that's not love.

Accept her if you truly love her, she's not proud of her past that's why she's willing to make changes and adjustments.

Love her, help her, build her to the woman you'll want to be.... She feel a lot hurt, torments and torture than you each time she reflects on her past.

Please give your woman your full love and supports...
If you leave her right now after she might improved on her, she'll be more hurt than ever before.

Screw everyone else, give her your love and supports and clear your doubts.

Like you said "You don't what your next girlfriend will be"

1 Like

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Lumig: 12:35pm On Nov 14, 2019

Pafoma:

What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them.

I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it

Na wa o. You even sound as if your mind is made up about her from this submission above.
But if you really care about you living-long, peace of mind and self-respect, I'll advice you let her go before you lose your SENSE OF REASONING (LOVE BLINDS BROTHER).
From someone that cares

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 12:39pm On Nov 14, 2019

mysticgal:

Yes I have, so do you think they know what okafors law is? Or is there any name to it other than the former?

Forget okafors law.
Do people actually believe in that cheesy

U are an ex for a reason.

Guys always belittling women. Even married women too.

To always feel superior

2 Likes

Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by tojahh(m): 12:41pm On Nov 14, 2019

pocohantas:

See your mouth. It you know say I done knack Pope, peep, tojah and all your guys for UbER thread, you go still call me bae?

Make we by try amu na wink

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply)

Albino's Girlfriend Refused Him From Meeting Her Parents (Photos) / Never Been Approached By A Guy / The Lord Is Your Strength! Pre-wedding Photo Causes Outrage Online (photos)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 69
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.