Honestly, I am seeing something two. See the e-chemistry and e-biology going on between Serubobosky and Pritttii.

O'l boy, opportunity comes but once, listen to what st paul is saying to the church and corinthians .

Abeg make una let the S&P love story take off too many eyes and mouth fit kill am. I am glad she came back i was wondering ,

Very interesting thread. Watching for how it will all end. BTW, I also feel there MAY be 'something' here between Seru and Pritti. May the will of God come to pass in your lives. Amen!

Hei, God is good, prittigrr is back!

Serubawon, hang in there ok, God is your best partner right now. And He never fails! I can testify to that. You just have to put all your trust the good and the bad in Him.

This thread is amazing. It like a good novel with twist and turns I can't wait to see how everything turns out in the end.
Kudos Serubawon! Best wishes.

Thanks to everyone for the continued encouragement. It's very uplifting when people who don't even know you, wish you the best and I sincerely appreciate the encouragement.

I was out of town to give my kids one last treat for the summer. We went to Disney World and I must confess, I almost became a kid myself. I completely forgot all my troubles and the variety of rides for both kids and adults was amazing. I'm still trying to figure out the depth of Walt Disney's vision. To create a theme park of those proportions is just awesome and I find myself blessed to have experienced it.

kieryn:

This thread is amazing. It like a good novel with twist and turns I can't wait to see how everything turns out in the end.
Kudos Serubawon! Best wishes.

oohunt:

Hei, God is good, prittigrr is back!

Serubawon, hang in there ok, God is your best partner right now. And He never fails! I can testify to that. You just have to put all your trust the good and the bad in Him.

Kiki2000:

Very interesting thread. Watching for how it will all end. BTW, I also feel there MAY be 'something' here between Seru and Pritti. May the will of God come to pass in your lives. Amen!

Thank you for your comments. I however still can't understand why everyone has this notion that there's something between myself and prittigrr. I'm sure she has more than enough to cope with and me, well, just like "oohunt" says, God is my best partner and He never fails. I do believe in a happy ending someday and I hope I can put everything on this thread (within reason). For now, I'm just content that this thread has been a source of encouragement for me (and a source of entertainment for others).

Back to work and the usual hassles of life.

  come @ seru make u sempe for dia jor! 

nor be only jenny dey see the e-chemistry and e- geography btwn you and prritt me sef dey look am so 

its been a while since i've been on this thread !

see as jenny just suddenly drop anchor!  u wan make @ seru mr kadry number wetin?  200089th? " "

erhmmm! i digress  ehennn! @ seru i was saying me sef dey see the e-physics btwn u and pritgrrr

abi u dey shy? make i helep u collect fone-number and address? 

come 2011 is the year oh!

nor let all dis  my alanta- dance and pammy sharking practise go to waste jor! 

ikamefa:

  come @ seru make u sempe for dia jor! 

nor be only jenny dey see the e-chemistry and e- geography btwn you and prritt me sef dey look am so 

its been a while since i've been on this thread !

see as jenny just suddenly drop anchor!  u wan make @ seru mr kadry number wetin?  200089th? " "

erhmmm! i digress  ehennn! @ seru i was saying me sef dey see the e-physics btwn u and pritgrrr

abi u dey shy? make i helep u collect fone-number and address? 

come 2011 is the year oh!

nor let all dis  my alanta- dance and pammy sharking practise go to waste jor! 

Uummm, I give up

Serubawon you never did say what caused your broken engagement. Just curious. How does one go from thinking they had found the one to backtracking very quickly? Unfortunately you may not share for us to learn since the anonymous factor has been compromised.

spoilt:

Serubawon you never did say what caused your broken engagement. Just curious. How does one go from thinking they had found the one to backtracking very quickly? Unfortunately you may not share for us to learn since the anonymous factor has been compromised.

Hmmmm,  Actually, I have no problems about saying what went wrong.  Also, I think the 'anonymous' problem has been taken care of as nemesis has agreed not to contribute in that regard anymore.

First of all, I may have contributed to the problem in that I allowed people to pressure me into the relationship in the first place.  Also, there was a disparity in maturity between us that didn't show at the early stages of the relationship.  Please don't get me wrong, she is a nice person and will make somebody a wonderful wife one day.  That person just isn't me unfortunately.

When we met, she found out that the easiest way to get to me is through my kids.  I am insanely over-protective and my belief is that if my kids are happy and well taken care of, I would be content with that.  However, as time went on, she would ask me weird questions like "where will the kids live after we get married" or "do I love my kids more than her"  To the 2nd question, of course my answer was my kids and I could see she didn't really like that.  Later on, she would ask me if I would love "her" kids as much as I love "my" kids.  Now that set off red flags in my mind. Your love for your children is completely different from the love you have for your spouse. They are two parallel lines that can't meet, but exist side by side.

The 2nd issue was that she was in the country illegally.  Now on it's own, I don't have a problem with that.  However, she didn't explain the circumstances of how she came into the country.  When we went to my lawyer to sort out how I would file immigration papers for her after marriage, the truth came out because the lawyer already new what her problem was by the time she "explained" things.  I felt kind of silly when we left the lawyers office because she didn't come out clean with me in the 1st place.  (I don't need to go into details on what the problem was, but I guess some people get the picture)

I firmly believe in being honest with your partner, no matter what.  A person who truly loves you will stick with you (as long as you are honest)  You should not be judged by your past.  However, you might want to tell your partner some sensitive things that will affect both of you in the future.  I'm not perfect and I've done some pretty silly things in my youth, however, I'm one of those guys who is a little bit too honest sometimes.  It has however served me good as I have nothing to hide and nothing about my past can come out later as an embarrassment in the future because I would have talked about it myself.

Finally, she had a problem whenever my kids spoke of their mother or her name came up in a conversation.  She would frown, sulk and all of a sudden, the wonderful person that I thought she was started to give way to a completely different persona.  My late wife will forever be a part of our lives.  I am careful not to talk about her, but you can't expect my kids to just forget about their mom because you don't like them mentioning anything about her.  No matter what, she's just a memory now, but a strong one.  What would she do if i was divorced and the person was alive?  God knows.

I've found out that no matter how much you pretend, the truth WILL come out.  My only regret is that she has been the only one that I allowed to come into my children's lives and it affected them because they couldn't understand why she had mood swings whenever they would mention things about their mom or why she suddenly stopped showing up, when we broke up.

I'm not saying that I didn't have a part in all this, but all in all, I didn't want to imagine what she would be like when she would have children of her own and I can't bear the thought of someone mistreating my kids, period.  When I finally decided that it had to end and told my family members, I was surprised to hear that they also had some things to say about how she was when I wasn't around and they just didn't want to influence whatever I decided to do (though I'm sure my mom and sisters would have stepped in if they saw that I was making a bad mistake).  Women are better at seeing things than we men.

So, that's why it didn't work out.  There were a lot of other things, but I guess you'll be bored hearing unimportant details.  Now, I'm just content to take my time and wait for the right time, God's time.  It seems to take forever sometimes, but I guess it's best to wait.

You are indeed a rare gem. Very few men in your position will sacrifice their happiness in exchange for their kids and I pray that they will do you proud and your labour of love will not be in vain Amen

I am sure that it would have been a hard descision but it was the right one. God has not forgotten you and He will surely bless you with your own wife and special and worthy stepmom for your children IJN

If I knew you would be so forthcoming, I would have asked this a long time ago.
She was illegal in the U.S? Damn! She sulked when your late wife was mentioned? Hmmmm. I remember offering my ten cents (pages ago) asking you not to beat her about the head with the love of your kids. A new wife needs to enjoy being a new bride without feeling like she's competing with kids. If she is insecure all the time though then it was best to part ways.

I don't mean to be extra nosey but I don't think you told us what happened to your wife.
Its quite obvious you loved her. Its great your kids are your priority. Our culture puts pressure on men to remarry quickly just so there's someone to help with the kids. Take your time. Women are a dime a dozen. It'll take a matured woman to cope with you ready made family and the circumstances by which it came about.

^^ Gosh spoilt. I have been planning to ask him about what happened to his wife but then it's a very sensitive issue and did not want him to stress him up.

@Serubobosky

You did the right thing by letting her go. What exactly does she mean by ''where will the kids live when we are married?'' ,how old are your kids for them to start living alone? And then the sulking part, holly molly. I wasn't surpised when your family told the kinda person she was when you are not around, I was actually expecting it. Those kids of yours would have seen hell in the hands of that woman.

The next time you see a bikini clad well proportioned 6pcked feminine body. Please tell us about her and we detectives with inner sight, will reveal her type. Jk. ,D

Jenny this thread is 9 pages long and no one had asked. I thought I actually missed it cos I was away from the thread for some time. Its sensitive obviously. Anyway I've often wondered. I try to show my husband how much I love him. Tomorrow is not promised. We have our fights and all but at the end of the day I don't want him doubting my love. True love is hard to replace. If we've learnt nothing from this thread we at least have learnt that.

Oh and the part about where will his kids live. , , , , Was she high as a kite when she asked that?
I had to shake my head to clear it then looked again to make sure I read right. That was definitely a crimson red flag if I ever saw one.

^^ She must have been high on something when she asked the question. Seru's kids I don't think are even up to 18. Unbelievable. Women.

serubawon:

Hmmmm,  Actually, I have no problems about saying what went wrong.  Also, I think the 'anonymous' problem has been taken care of as nemesis has agreed not to contribute in that regard anymore.

First of all, I may have contributed to the problem in that I allowed people to pressure me into the relationship in the first place.  Also, there was a disparity in maturity between us that didn't show at the early stages of the relationship.  Please don't get me wrong, she is a nice person and will make somebody a wonderful wife one day.  That person just isn't me unfortunately.

When we met, she found out that the easiest way to get to me is through my kids.  I am insanely over-protective and my belief is that if my kids are happy and well taken care of, I would be content with that.  However, as time went on, she would ask me weird questions like "where will the kids live after we get married" or "do I love my kids more than her"  To the 2nd question, of course my answer was my kids and I could see she didn't really like that.  Later on, she would ask me if I would love "her" kids as much as I love "my" kids.  Now that set off red flags in my mind. Your love for your children is completely different from the love you have for your spouse. They are two parallel lines that can't meet, but exist side by side.

The 2nd issue was that she was in the country illegally.  Now on it's own, I don't have a problem with that.  However, she didn't explain the circumstances of how she came into the country.  When we went to my lawyer to sort out how I would file immigration papers for her after marriage, the truth came out because the lawyer already new what her problem was by the time she "explained" things.  I felt kind of silly when we left the lawyers office because[b] she didn't come out clean with me in the 1st place[/b].  (I don't need to go into details on what the problem was, but I guess some people get the picture)

I firmly believe in being honest with your partner, no matter what.  A person who truly loves you will stick with you (as long as you are honest)  You should not be judged by your past.  However, you might want to tell your partner some sensitive things that will affect both of you in the future.  I'm not perfect and I've done some pretty silly things in my youth, however, I'm one of those guys who is a little bit too honest sometimes.  It has however served me good as I have nothing to hide and nothing about my past can come out later as an embarrassment in the future because I would have talked about it myself.

Finally, she had a problem whenever my kids spoke of their mother or her name came up in a conversation.  She would frown, sulk and all of a sudden, the wonderful person that I thought she was started to give way to a completely different persona.  My late wife will forever be a part of our lives.  I am careful not to talk about her, but you can't expect my kids to just forget about their mom because you don't like them mentioning anything about her.  No matter what, she's just a memory now, but a strong one.  What would she do if i was divorced and the person was alive?  God knows.

I've found out that no matter how much you pretend, the truth WILL come out.  My only regret is that she has been the only one that I allowed to come into my children's lives and it affected them because they couldn't understand why she had mood swings whenever they would mention things about their mom or why she suddenly stopped showing up, when we broke up.

I'm not saying that I didn't have a part in all this, but all in all, I didn't want to imagine what she would be like when she would have children of her own and I can't bear the thought of someone mistreating my kids, period.  When I finally decided that it had to end and told my family members, I was surprised to hear that they also had some things to say about how she was when I wasn't around and they just didn't want to influence whatever I decided to do (though I'm sure my mom and sisters would have stepped in if they saw that I was making a bad mistake).  Women are better at seeing things than we men.

So, that's why it didn't work out.  There were a lot of other things, but I guess you'll be bored hearing unimportant details.  Now, I'm just content to take my time and wait for the right time, God's time.  It seems to take forever sometimes, but I guess it's best to wait.

I have been following this thread for a while.
The bolded part are way serious issues which shocked and suprised me but thank God you noticed and broke up. God bless you for always thinking of your children,not many men will.I believe some day you will find happiness,keep hope alive by praying to God for that special woman,she exists.

All I can say is that Thank God that she showed her true colours before it was too late

I am one of the ghost nairalanders, i come on this forum everyday for the past 3 years but never registered, just had to today so i can comment on this thread;

Every one should leave seru and pritti alone, they will get to it in their own time?
While i think Seru is an amazing dad, i was just wondering if he in some way contributed to the breakup of d last engagement? ( minus- the dishonesty issue)
I really wish you all the best and God's wisdom in the years ahead.

I got stuck to this thread since morning and i read tru the 9pages, yipppeeeeeee!!!.

verry interesting and insightful

Serubawon: the Lord is ur strength and your story is so inspiring and I pray that God will give you the grace to carry and raise your kids right. U r truly one of the world's best dad

To All your family here who has held out for u Chaircover, Spoilt, Jenny etc etc, U girls rock and thanks for holding out for a broda.

Love will find you maybe not NL (dont give in to pressure), take your time and enjoy ur kids while they grow up.

Have a nice wkd y'all

I think he already copped to the fact that he allowed himself to be pressured into the relationship. I think that shd make us lay off trying to matchmake him with pretty girl. Abi? Besides he probably has some mojo left and can get out his hunting gear when he's ready. Lol.
@ Serubawon, when you said she was immature was she one of those twenty somethings who one paper look great? Who was pushed forward by 'auntys' to look after you? You did mention that you are forty something. An age appropriate woman would be the way to go wheen the time is right. The folly of youth and inexperience is not what you have time for.

serubawon:

Hmmmm,  Actually, I have no problems about saying what went wrong.  Also, I think the 'anonymous' problem has been taken care of as nemesis has agreed not to contribute in that regard anymore.

First of all, I may have contributed to the problem in that I allowed people to pressure me into the relationship in the first place.  Also, there was a disparity in maturity between us that didn't show at the early stages of the relationship.  Please don't get me wrong, she is a nice person and will make somebody a wonderful wife one day.  That person just isn't me unfortunately.

When we met, she found out that the easiest way to get to me is through my kids.  I am insanely over-protective and my belief is that if my kids are happy and well taken care of, I would be content with that.  However, as time went on, she would ask me weird questions like "where will the kids live after we get married" or "do I love my kids more than her"  To the 2nd question, of course my answer was my kids and I could see she didn't really like that.  Later on, she would ask me if I would love "her" kids as much as I love "my" kids.  Now that set off red flags in my mind.  Your love for your children is completely different from the love you have for your spouse.  They are two parallel lines that can't meet, but exist side by side.

The 2nd issue was that she was in the country illegally.  Now on it's own, I don't have a problem with that.  However, she didn't explain the circumstances of how she came into the country.  When we went to my lawyer to sort out how I would file immigration papers for her after marriage, the truth came out because the lawyer already new what her problem was by the time she "explained" things.  I felt kind of silly when we left the lawyers office because she didn't come out clean with me in the 1st place.  (I don't need to go into details on what the problem was, but I guess some people get the picture)

I firmly believe in being honest with your partner, no matter what.  A person who truly loves you will stick with you (as long as you are honest)  You should not be judged by your past.  However, you might want to tell your partner some sensitive things that will affect both of you in the future.  I'm not perfect and I've done some pretty silly things in my youth, however, I'm one of those guys who is a little bit too honest sometimes.  It has however served me good as I have nothing to hide and nothing about my past can come out later as an embarrassment in the future because I would have talked about it myself.

Finally, she had a problem whenever my kids spoke of their mother or her name came up in a conversation.  She would frown, sulk and all of a sudden, the wonderful person that I thought she was started to give way to a completely different persona.  My late wife will forever be a part of our lives.  I am careful not to talk about her, but you can't expect my kids to just forget about their mom because you don't like them mentioning anything about her.  No matter what, she's just a memory now, but a strong one.  What would she do if i was divorced and the person was alive?  God knows.

I've found out that no matter how much you pretend, the truth WILL come out.  My only regret is that she has been the only one that I allowed to come into my children's lives and it affected them because they couldn't understand why she had mood swings whenever they would mention things about their mom or why she suddenly stopped showing up, when we broke up.

I'm not saying that I didn't have a part in all this, but all in all, I didn't want to imagine what she would be like when she would have children of her own and I can't bear the thought of someone mistreating my kids, period.  When I finally decided that it had to end and told my family members, I was surprised to hear that they also had some things to say about how she was when I wasn't around and they just didn't want to influence whatever I decided to do (though I'm sure my mom and sisters would have stepped in if they saw that I was making a bad mistake).  Women are better at seeing things than we men.

So, that's why it didn't work out.  There were a lot of other things, but I guess you'll be bored hearing unimportant details.  Now, I'm just content to take my time and wait for the right time, God's time.  It seems to take forever sometimes, but I guess it's best to wait.

All I can do is echo the [b]THANK GOD [/b]others have said. You really dodge the bullet there bro!

Where would the kids live I've never seen where someone ask a FATHER where his children would live. All sorts of osirisiri! 

Ilemima:

I am one of the ghost nairalanders, i come on this forum everyday for the past 3 years but never registered, just had to today so i can comment on this thread;

Every one should leave seru and pritti alone, they will get to it in their own time?
While i think Seru is an amazing dad, i was just wondering if he in some way contributed to the breakup of d last engagement? ( minus- the dishonesty issue)
I really wish you all the best and God's wisdom in the years ahead.

Ekabo!
So what do you have going on in your life that we can help you with? Just kidding! Happy to meet you.

Just trying to figure out where to start from,

@Yogun. Yes I'm grateful for all the people that have contributed in one way or the other on this thread. I learn a lot from them every time they post; especially the regular gang like Chaircover, Spoilt, Jennykadry, ikamefa, sisi_kill etc. They are like a panel of female advisers and their posts just crack me up sometimes.

Ok. I'll start with madam Spoilt. She wasn't a twenty-something young sex bomb at all. She was in her mid-thirties and I expected a level of maturity from someone like that. Maybe because she had never been married before? I don't know. However, what I saw initially was completely different from the end result.

@Ilemima. Whether I contributed to the break-up? Most likely. It takes 2 to tango and It would be unfair if I made it seem that I had no fault whatsoever in this. However, honestly, I tried to make it work. Have you ever experienced a situation where you are basically working against the odds? That was my problem. You're supposed to marry your best friend. In this case, because of the pressure (trust me, it was a lot), I overlooked most of the things that I considered to be important and chose to accept someone based on Christianity period. My mistake. Of course you wouldn't want to marry someone who is unequally yoked to you by religion, but I should have considered someone that was more my equal intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. However, I'm thankful this was an accident I could walk away from intact. Never again.

Back to madam Spoilt. Come December 24th this year, it'll be 7 years since my late wife passed on. It's a lot easier for me to speak about what happened. I've had people tell me that it's taking too long for me to re-marry (the pressure I mentioned earlier). She was the best thing that happened to me (apart from my kids of course). We were best friends for over a year before it even occurred to me that I wanted to move to the next level. I have posted about how we meet on another thread: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=720.msg574065#msg574065

Talking about a soul mate, she was the one. I've been extremely wayward in the past (and I mean extremely), but when I met her, it all stopped. It was like crashing into a brick wall of reality and for the 6 years we were married, I never cheated (not once). I didn't even think of cheating 'cause I was a very happy man. When she died, I had a nervous breakdown for a whole year before God in His infinite mercy delivered me. 7 years down the road with 2 kids to support and I'm still standing, it's nothing short of a miracle. I guess it takes someone in my shoes to understand that.

Finally, how did she pass on? This is where it gets tricky. One day she complained of a headache and for the next one year the headache gradually grew into a nightmare. We went to every specialist available in Nigeria. We couldn't get an american visa because my family had filed for immigration status for me and you can't be granted a visiting visa when you are under processing. The doctors just couldn't understand what was wrong. The tests were negative for everything. She had just finished a 10 month Montessori course that had been hell for her. Even with all the pain, she still came out with the 2nd best result in the whole of West Africa. She was again admitted into the hospital Christmas week and she passed away on Christmas eve. I've never really enjoyed christmas since then, but I'm thankful to God for everything, especially my kids.

People may think that I'm an extremely over-protective father, but it's like the one thing I owe to their mother is to make sure that by God's grace, our children succeed in life and that is exactly what I'll do even if it's the last thing I do.

I don't ask for pity. I am just eternally grateful to God for His mercies over my household and that's why i know that things will be well IJN.

i followed this thread from when its started, always come back to see how you n the family are doing.

No need to let pressure dictate the pace. Your children are really honored to have a Dad's that's both parents wrapped up in one. I'm sure in the future they will be instrumental in you discovering the right match for you.

Thank you for sharing(tears in my eyes but i'll name tears of joy)
@spoilt

How have you been? and the family?

I had tears in my eyes(yea I know, Jenny cry ke?) when I read Serubobo's last post. Awwwwwwww is all I can say. Your faith is so strong. It takes a lot for people to still hold unto God when extremely bad things happen. Thank that same God for revealing that woman's true self to you.

Hold unto God, he will give you what's yours in due time. God bless your family. I love all of una.

BTW, are you still considering getting me a RR sports? Atleast it is a big enough to ''contain'' all of us(me, u and your kids) if we need to do some shopping .

@ Serubawon
Mercy! It is well. I can see how Chrismas time will bring back memories. Thanks for sharing, I hope you can fall in love again. It sure does sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Bless you.

Errrr. . . . . .I see you had called me madam. Lol. I neither feel or even look like a madam.


@ Salsera
Where the heck have you been?

@Serubawon: thanks for sharing. The Lord will continue to remain with you & the kids.

& when next you consider, pls don't ignore the pointers,

To d rest of the Clan Jenny, Spoilt, Salsera etc -how's ya wkd going

jennykadry:

I had tears in my eyes(yea I know, Jenny cry ke?) when I read Serubobo's last post. Awwwwwwww is all I can say. Your faith is so strong. It takes a lot for people to still hold unto God when extremely bad things happen. Thank that same God for revealing that woman's true self to you.

Hold unto God, he will give you what's yours in due time. God bless your family. I love all of una.

BTW, are you still considering getting me a RR sports? Atleast it is a big enough to ''contain'' all of us(me, u and your kids) if we need to do some shopping .

Haba! I'm sure Mr. Kadry is more than capable.

spoilt:

@ Serubawon
Mercy! It is well. I can see how Chrismas time will bring back memories. Thanks for sharing, I hope you can fall in love again. It sure does sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Bless you.

Errrr. . . . . .I see you had called me madam. Lol. I neither feel or even look like a madam.


@ Salsera
Where the heck have you been?

Don't mind me. I call all married women "madam". Keeps me out of trouble.

@ Yogun

The weekend is low key. In doors with Mr Spoilt and the kids. We're just watching movies and chilling. My son is only 2 months old so I've been taking things easy.


@ serubawon, the madam title aint so bad. About time I owned it even though I look like barbie. Lol.