MISSCONGENIALITY:
Why would he disown his father but can't do same to his mother?
Is it that she has the right to wish someone dead but ordinary disowning her will be a big problem? Would you have said the same if the wide was the one who wished the mother dead?
Witchcraft is not only when someone starts flying in the night. Do you think his wife will ever be able to seat and talk with her if this gets to her ears?

the question Here is the mother might not be the mother.

papiforreal:


You want to disown your mother because of the public hoe you call your wife?
Ubunja this idiot need some misseducation about these bitches.
You are a fool. Mothers love is the only real love in the world.

Oga shut the hell up.. Did you read the post it you just want to fool yourself..
Miseducation kill you there

Exactly. Two people made some hard and difficult decisions. I doubt it was easy for the brother to record his mother or the op to disown their mother.

Their mother's hatred is on another new level I can't fathom. One can wish the mother comes to her senses and the issue is resolved.

aroundtheearth:

I'm sorry but none of that makes any sense. What you've done there is make the MIL out to be the victim when she isn't.

1. The brother was right to have recorded the mother because it would've been difficult for the OP to believe him without that proof. I reckon the OP is aware the mother didn't like his wife before this situation but he would've still had difficulty believing she would make such statement towards his wife, especially after losing her baby.

2. I doubt the brother set out to record the mother for any ill intention. He was probably pressing his phone at the time and for him to have gotten those words recorded meant the mother must've said them a couple of times beforehand /before he started recording.

3. He (the brother) was likely in shock himself at what he was hearing their mother say, hence the need for him to record her, kinda like, "Did she just say that?".

Idk why you're blaming the brother when he did absolutely nothing wrong. I bet if the mother had said she wanted to kill the wife, you would still blame the brother for recording her. The brother is not the problem here at all.

When I was a teenager I had an Italian neighbour who kept having miscarriages. The husband's mom would sometimes visit and I would see her embrace the wife and they would gist outside. I actually didn't know about the miscarriages until the wife told me. She ended up giving birth towards the end of that year. I'm just recalling this story because the MIL never showed any animosity towards the wife, ever, and because what any loving MIL should do in this situation or least upon hearing about the wife losing her baby, is to ask how she's doing and feeling, if she needs anything ― anything to console the woman ― not utter such hateful words. As a woman herself, she should've known better.

Yes, the mother should've apologized to OP. Idk why that's even up for debate. Her refusal to do so shows she isn't remorseful and that this was an intentional statement. It takes a hateful heart to wish someone dead, especially after such a traumatic experience. It's like kicking someone when they're down, which is no surprise because according to her own words, "she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend".

What you need is to keep your friends close and keep your enemy closer. I believe your wife's mother won't like shit that somebody wants her daughter death. Please apply wisdom

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

bptc10:


though am not in support of your mother utterances,

your mother prefer to live with her grandchild and that is her wish, you can't take it away from her,

she have already let you understand that she doesn't like your wife

How old r u big baby
Why r u ppl sentimental in reasoning
What if somebody wants ur daughter dead

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

First of all, never make decisions when you are angry.

As it is, with the loss of your child, you are in a lot of pain and are obviously not thinking straight.

I know it is wrong to wish death on a human being, but disowning your mother for showing preferences towards a baby at the expense of your wife is not enough reason to disown her.

Give it sometime. When you have finished mourning your child, have a chat with your mother.

There must be a reason why she doesn't like your wife.

I am not seeing she is justified for wishing death on your wife.

But disowning your mother without knowing her reasons may be an injustice that you may end up regretting for the rest of your life.

ceeceeuwa:

Really! Even wishing her daughter inlaw death with no remorse afterwards! This is not spur of the moment thing because she out rightly felt no remorse!

Guy chill ooo... nobody says what she said is kool but don't forget she lost a grand child too and some women who aren't too friendly with their daughters in law can become unguarded.. peeps tends to regret certain actions later

nyerovwo4me:


Shut your stinky mouth by saying the brother did wrong. First of all OP you have a real brother and you should value him for the rest of your life
You did well by disowning her
She is a wicked mother and you should stay far away from her with all possible means even if it means she won’t see you and your family ever again.

I’m telling you from what I have see with my very own eyes

Someone forgot their medication
Please don't get aggressive...

Francis609, your write up tells me you are still young and inexperience. You disown your own mother because of your wife? Listen to this, a man was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for killing his landlord whom he caught him with his wife. Before he served out the sentence, the wife had three children for another man. This happened in the East.

A second one happened in Ogun state late 2019. This man returned unexpectedly to meet his wife with another man in his bedroom. In that anger he killed the man instantly. The next day, police arrested the man and he is still in detention till date.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

..gentlemen hustle ooooooo.... There is a kind of money one will have, even if he or she gets married to a goat, the mother has no choice but to like the goat

id4sho:

I was invited to a baby dedication, when I got there the baby was sleeping, I have to leave since the celebrant is not serious....very disrespectful.

Lol funny you

xavuv:


How old r u big baby
Why r u ppl sentimental in reasoning
What if somebody wants ur daughter dead

You can't blame him for being sentimental.

Issues like this make people sentimental.

Supposing your brother disowns your mother for preferring that his wife's life be sacrificed for their baby's, would you just support his decision?

Matters like this are better solved using diplomacy, not anger.

AfonjaConehead:


Guy chill ooo... nobody says what she said is kool but don't forget she lost a grand child too and some women who aren't too friendly with their daughters in law can become unguarded.. peeps tends to regret certain actions later

The grandchild she lost didn't pain her o! If it did, she would not be in a position to be making unguarded utterances. Death is a wicked thing to wish someone. For her not to show remorse afterwards shows that she can kill that lady if she gets the opportunity.

JONSYN7154:
the question Here is the mother might not be the mother.

I don't understand

so ur mama wan turn you to widower
na waooo

It's fascinating how almost all those who are advising you not to disown your mother are women.

Most Nigerian women have a very mean streak inside them.

That's why they are easily initiated into witchcraft and are the dominant clients of medicine men

ceeceeuwa:

The grandchild she lost didn't pain her o! If it did, she would not be in a position to be making unguarded utterances. Death is a wicked thing to wish someone. For her not to show remorse afterwards shows that she can kill that lady if she gets the opportunity.

even if it means turning the son to a widower ....

VULCAN:
It's fascinating how almost all those who are advising you not to disown your mother are women.

Most Nigerian women have a very mean streak inside them.

That's why they are easily initiated into witchcraft and are the dominant clients of medicine men

na na u know bro

wen I see a lady treat her house made in a harsh manner and the pic is posted ,and people rain insult on the house wife ,I tell them to keep quite becu most ladies on this forum are also capable of such ,only few are exempted

MISSCONGENIALITY:
I don't understand

No any genuine mother will wish his son bad.

plot697:
Francis609, your write up tells me you are still young and inexperience. You disown your own mother because of your wife? Listen to this, a man was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for killing his landlord whom he caught him with his wife. Before he served out the sentence, the wife had three children for another man. This happened in the East.

A second one happened in Ogun state late 2019. This man returned unexpectedly to meet his wife with another man in his bedroom. In that anger he killed the man instantly. The next day, police arrested the man and he is still in detention till date.

What do you make of these? They are not worth dying for.

yeah u are right but if ur person no wish person better na death u con wish the person,abeg run from that person ,shae the mother no be woman like e wife

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

something must have made your lovely mother to hate your wife like this disowning is useless remember she's your mother,your first wife try to know why she hate her and bring peace ,mothers are golden bro

grammarnazi12:

See ehn. I don tire with the stupid reasoning prevalent in this country.

I dey pray make God bless make I run commot for this country.

How can I be in a country with someone who reasons like an animal?

The reasoning of the guy you quoted is appalling.

LOL. Just tell me say you want run comot from our darling shithole before. Everyone can't think alike even where you are running to. The are stupid People everywhere and sometimes situations make people stupid. The guy might not be stupid ordinarily but if he grew up seeing his mother as a perfect human, there's nothing a mother will do that he won't look for excuses to justify the act.
His reasoning truely appauling as you said. He expects the man to treat his mother better with such statement she made about his wife who's going through the pains of losing a child after a whole nige months and labour pains. It's really bad coming from a woman.

I know a lady who just died from traumas resulting from mother in law's hate to in-laws.

Some mothers and in-laws can be terrible. If the wife isn't what they want, they frustrate her till she dies.

Op this isn't an issue to take likely, although you didn't give us full details like the tribe and when the hatred she has for your wife start and if this is a new behavior or she has been like that. I will advice you keep both mother and step mother away from your family. Can't tell who the devil might be using.

Keep all of them far away

kense88:
My friend shut the trap. She has lost all respect she deserves, the moment she wished her own daughter in law dead. She is a disgrace and deserves to be kept at arms length.

Some of you forget that you will be parents one day.

There are better ways to handle problems like this rather than disowning the mother.

Many of us will witness rebellion one day as parents. The day when our children who we watched grow up will disagree with us on something.

For some people, they will not be able to bear it. It would seem like all their efforts had gone to waste and that their children had abandoned them.

Men may not really feel this very much. But women tend to feel it more, especially with regards to their male children getting married.

I am not making excuses for her. But no one should make excuses for OP disowning his mother.

Matters like this can still be resolved amicably.

It is very obvious that OP's mother is a stubborn woman.

But OP is stubborn too, and must have inherited his stubbornness from his mother.

One day, OP too may have clashes with his own child too. How would he feel if his own child disowns him?

mutter:
First of all.. I am really sorry about you loss and the whole pain.

But do you actually realize that the real harm came from your brother!.
You ought to disown him if at all you want to disown anyone.
Your mother on receiving the news has two blows... One loosing her grandchild and two knowing the pain her son was in.
People can say allot of things in pain and shock!
I habe actually heard people say thebwishbitbwas their father that died when their mother died.
That was really very wrong of your brother.
I wonder how sorry he felt for you and how pained he was at your loss that he had the mind to tape that conversation and then go back to you to play it to you.
Was it right to confront you with that added pain?
It's obvious that your brother has no love lost for your mother!
It was very wrong of him.
When you confronted your mother on the phone what did you expect?
An apology? You know that parents aren't used to apologising and secondly her apology at that stage wouldn't have meant anything to you.
It was the will of God to take your child back home. The ways of God are not known to man.
In your pain it seems better to feel anger than hurt. I guess anger makes us feel the pain less.
But if your wife is aware of what happened she will only be hurting the more.
Please give yourself and your wife the time to heal and don't project your anger on a mother who lives you but said something stupid.
That your mother does not like your wife could have reasons..
Now you knew this all along but you omitted to correct that issue.
It is often the case that mothers are extremely jealous of loosing their sons to another woman.
May God give you the strength and wisdom to solve this issue

it is only few people can understand and think the way you think, even for the guy to say he disown her own mother over what he heard is even worse than the offense her mother committed.
if they both disown them self, I mean if the mother also disown her own son the way her son son claim he disown her mother who do you think is going to feel the heat? many people will say the mother, but the truth is that, the son will feel it most no matter how rich you are, am not supporting what the mother said, what the guy suppose do is to visit her mother and let her know how disappoint he feel to hear such a things and try find out why her mother don't want him to marry her wife, funny enough it may be for the safety of his own, because life play out like that, And never think your step mother love you than your mother even if it seems so, I pray your wife will not die untimely death, may Almighty Allah also give you children that will live long to take care of you and your wife till the old age Amin, my brother cool down visit your mama let her feel comfortable so that you can hear the truth, for your mumu brother time will tell how foolish he is.

papiforreal:

You want to disown your mother because of the public hoe you call your wife? Ubunja this idiot need some misseducation about these bitches. You are a fool. Mothers love is the only real love in the world.

It is apalling to call another man's wife a hoe! How old are you please

larryking540:
even if it means turning the son to a widower ....

She wouldn't mind! Is not what she just said?

plot697:
Francis609, your write up tells me you are still young and inexperience. You disown your own mother because of your wife? Listen to this, a man was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for killing his landlord whom he caught him with his wife. Before he served out the sentence, the wife had three children for another man. This happened in the East.

A second one happened in Ogun state late 2019. This man returned unexpectedly to meet his wife with another man in his bedroom. In that anger he killed the man instantly. The next day, police arrested the man and he is still in detention till date.

What do you make of these? They are not worth dying for.

The only problem I have with your post is the last paragraph. OP loves his wife so she must be worth dying for as far as OP is concerned.

However, the rest of your post makes sense.

There is an uncle of mine whose wife I don't like.

Because I have proofs that she is (WAS, maybe) an adulterer.

His mother knows this as well. She is someone who never wants her son's marriage to break up. But she had talked to the woman. So, I am hoping she has changed.

But me, I don't like cheats. So, I can NEVER like her.

OP should have a chat with his mother.

Some hate are just malicious. But some have reasons behind them.

And even if the hate is without reason, disowning should not surface yet. That is a rather rash decision.

papiforreal:


You want to disown your mother because of the public hoe you call your wife?
Ubunja this idiot need some misseducation about these bitches.
You are a fool. Mothers love is the only real love in the world.

Bros this is somebody's wife o. It is wrong to say jack shit on people you barely know. #respect

plot697:
Francis609, your write up tells me you are still young and inexperience. You disown your own mother because of your wife? Listen to this, a man was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for killing his landlord whom he caught him with his wife. Before he served out the sentence, the wife had three children for another man. This happened in the East.

A second one happened in Ogun state late 2019. This man returned unexpectedly to meet his wife with another man in his bedroom. In that anger he killed the man instantly. The next day, police arrested the man and he is still in detention till date.

What do you make of these? They are not worth dying for.

So because there are adulterous women out there, does that make all women untrustworthy? The fact that there are Yahoo boys and armed robbers, touts and miscreant doesn't make all men evil! Think about the good some. In your family, that is enough reason for you to have hope in humanity!

xavuv:


How old r u big baby
Why r u ppl sentimental in reasoning
What if somebody wants ur daughter dead

Swear that you have never wished any of your leaders death.

When Abba Kyari died, some people said they wished it was the president... that died.
Because they felt he's the cause of the happenings in the country.

That is similar thing to what the OP posted, the mom out of her sentimental love wished the wife died instead of the kid who probably my be her first grandchild, maybe because OP is her son and she knows the kid will forever be hers irrespective of a divorce or not, and again the case will be different if OP is her daughter and not a son.

The OP need to apply wisdom in this kind of issue. Decision on such delicate matters shouldn't be taken in a hurry because it may come back to hunt him.
Again, the brother should have applied wisdom in handling this, it is not everything you hear that you must say.

Your mom didn't deny it means something, and again she will now see your brother in another light.

How you handle this will determine how you guys will live henceforth...
If you disown her and cut off all contact with her, she won't relate with you, your brother(for carrying the info) and your family.
If you apply wisdom and follow up the issue diligently, you may succeed in draining away the bad blood that has been flowing in your family and that will leave everyone happy after.

Find out why she has such feeling towards her, women can be funny at times.


On the other hand, OP don't even know if both of them are in two separate cults and they are using him to practise their power fight.

JONSYN7154:
No any genuine mother will wish his son bad.

Some women are too bitter and can wish their child anything and you begin to wonder if they really have birth to the child.
Just like it's not every man who got a woman pregnant is a Father, not every woman who carries pregnancy is a mother.
Women give birth and dump the babies in the dustbin, some in the pit toilet some even strangle the baby instead of just leaving them alive where someone can pick them.