I had to patiently read everything to see if someone was seeing things (between the lines) as exactly as I was seeing it. Thank you chief for this.

She was trying to be the husband in the relationship.
Marriage is not for everybody, especially if you have submission problem.

She even said the husband hardly visited her like he use to, but madam didn’t even know where he was staying in Lagos until fight came and she realized she now needs to know.

Though it is long gone, I put it to you, you were the major problem in the relationship.
Then again, I look at what you wrote about your personal history and I think it is obvious where the issue is from.

Every feminine wife will run to their father inlaw FIRST, when the husband is behaving crazy, but no, you, you run go police station.

Hopefully others learn from your mistakes.

No offense intended by the way and by no means am I supporting the action of the man and his brother.

Bonjovi13:
My take maybe different from most people because I taken time to read between the lines.
Your husband loved his family enough to desire that you all live together in Lagos. His job could provide for you all.

You refused to move to Lagos until you got a certificate from UI. You didnt tell us you had gotten admission but that you applied.

I get that you want to further your education but there are schools in Lagos.
It is curious that you would prefer to live by yourself in Ibadan and than live as a family in Lagos.
Most men would have issues living like a bachelor after marriage especially for years.

You even said he had stopped coming to Ibadan to see you as regularly as he used to. How long did you expect him to keep moving to and from lagos.

When he had failed to convince you to move to Lagos, he started wearing a long face.
You said you too became cold. I find that very odd. You know why your husband started showing you that he was not happy about your decision. Most wives would plead and entreat him to bear with you but you went cold yourself and you are proud to say it. Not because he beat you, or cheated, or couldnt provide but because he was unhappy that you choose not to live together with him in Lagos.

Thirdly, you could have easily found out where your husband lived in Lagos and gone with a family member to talk to him when he carried some properties you felt were yours to Lagos or you could have gone to see his father. Yet you immediately went to report your own husband in the police station. To make matters worse you got them to arrest his brother till he brought back your properties.
My sister I dont know what exactly went wrong in your marriage but love and respect had flown out and especially on your own part in the later part of the marriage.

Maybe there were other things that happened that you did not say but believe me your reactions to everything did not show that you loved the man

Saviourplease:


It is not like that sha. There is no house in the village for them and they are aging. The house is a necessity, not a luxury or an ego project

You owe no one an explanation though.
I will advise you rent house for them in the village, village house rent can be extremely cheap. A 2 bed room flat in the village will be like 150k/yr ( that is 12,500 per month deduction from your monthly salary. Think about that.

ayoncox:
work on your feasibility study and business plan first

That has been done already. Thank you for the contribution.

SavageResponse:


The reason why there is no response is because most people know you just want want to use their money to gamble in a business where you have no previous experience!

Savage response, clap for your self

No response? My good people

Hello everyone,
I’m just going to go straight to the point…
I have this particularly huge business idea that is kind of unique but it is going to be highly capital intensive.

Any idea on how I can source for fund, or any business or individual that will be willing to partner in the business idea.

Thank you for your contribution

Guys, update: hope you know it is now finally possible, the good part is, it is for free and no third party influence.

I have now successfully moved my android WhatsApp chats to my iPhone.

Haakeem:
Man! You are nt in america.

From the scenario I painted up there, where do you expect me to see money to meet up their request at that time?

This is quite unbelievable for me, because in all my years as an adult I have never lost a possession on the street of Lagos.

Looking back at how it happened, I definitely was just carefree today and it has cost me a lot.

I decided to document the whole event here for 2 reasons:

1. I reported the situation immediately to the closest police station to me and after all the questioning, they requested I drop something for them to record the case, and I was like, but I just mentioned I lost my wallet just about an hour ago with all my valuables inside (cash and ATMs)? How will I still have money with me to drop?

I noticed the look of lack of interest that the police woman gave me after my response, she then told me to go, that "they will record it". For some reasons as I was leaving the station I was convinced she won't lift a finger to record anything, so I better come and put my story out to protect against the possibility of identity theft risk pending when I sort this whole issue out with the lost ID's.

2. In case there is even a thin probability that a good Samaritan Nairalander sees the wallet and also sees this post.


How The Wallet Was Lost:
At about 4:45pm, I boarded a bus from Lekki to Costain right at the constain park at Lekki gate, seated in the front seat and while I was the first to get to the bus that was loading, I decided to start playing chess game online on one of my phones, while my second phone was on my lap. That went on for a while until the driver started collecting money, so I went into my bag, brought out the wallet, took out #1,000 for the driver and he handed me change of #500. So instead of putting the #500 back to the wallet, I just dropped it in the opened zip of my bag right in between my legs. And that was the last time I saw the wallet, I was just too distracted by the game.


I most likely placed the wallet on my lap as well just beside the phone, of which along the way to costain, I on several times had to press the second phone without even remembering I had a wallet still on my lap.

By the time I got to Costain, I just highlighted from the bus and headed for another bus going to my house bustop, at this point I didn't even bother checking on the wallet because I still remember I had #500 easily accessible to me, and that was what took me all the way home.

As I was about to pay the last transport that got me home, then I realized my hand wasn't touching any wallet when I dipped my hand into my bag. I just waved the feeling thinking I probably need to get home and check properly.

When I got home and empty the bag, that was when I realized I had lost my wallet. The balance of the #500 was #150 at this point, immediately I rushed out the Bustop I think the bus will likely pass from custain just in case I'm lucky to see it. Waited for about an hour and I gave up.


Then I headed straight to the closest police station to lodge the situation. Of which the outcome of my police station visit is what has brought me here to Nairaland.

Content of the lost wallet:
1. My 2 ATM cards of GTB and Access bank
2. My Company ID
3. My Master's degree program ID card
4. An estimated amount of about #3,000 to #4,000
5. My voters card
6. About 3 copies of my complimentary card
7. Several personal documents and probably ID's I currently can't recall exactly what they are



If mod can move this to front page, I will so much appreciate.

.

You guys are doing a great job, a lot of people are getting real motivation from your consistent posts.

If I don’t post this, my mind will not let me rest, because your posts have been one of the lights that has brightened my path, at that phase of my life.

Please keep up the good work

Abfinest007:
You dey look am he dey enter odidigbobo this was d slogan used then in Delta state

Edo nor be Lagos State another infective slogan



Let create slogan for obi

“Suffer No dey taya you”

Nice one

janejjjjj5000:
...flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged... ...I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. ...He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.
art..

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

janejjjjj5000:
...Do you think the kids might be needing therapy too? ...

I hardly open up, like I'm about to, on a public forum like this:
I have bolded every single time you mentioned anything relating to the children and I think you subconsciously also have a serious problem deep down; you continuously personalized the children.

I saw your "40years old marriage of 'papa and mama'" and I strongly doubt it, because your mentality, thought process and planned action does not align with your claim of the marriage you grew up in.
I can guess that, you yourself came from a dysfunctional family, or you were probably raised alone by mum (my apologise if I'm wrong tho).

You seems quite educated; instead of seeing a therapist as a family or calling your husband out privately or even threatening him with reporting him to his family, you are already thinking of the worst case scenario-action.


I think it will be better for him if you leave now, at least he will not raise children that will later ghost him or see him like an alien in his old age while you the mother claim all the love.


#I come in peace & that's a sincere comment.

A must read, the real initial reason behind this whole war

https://www.nairaland.com/7038643/understanding-russian-president-putins-mind

Cptflint:

Are you human at all

I was shocked to see his post too
If he is human, is he normal atall

Cptflint:
I still don't understand why Russia doesn't want to carpet bomb Kyiv

Please let's not derail this thread. Thank you.

Understanding Russian President Vladimir Putin's mind & what will happen if Russia pulls out of Ukraine at this point of the war. All in 5 key points by Samson Oke


1 of 5:
Introduction:
To understand Putin's mind, is to try to think from his point of view, and that is exactly what this writeup is all about.



Let's start with NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization), a military alliance among countries in 1949, created and exist to 'defend' member countries against Russia.
This 'defense' has subtly turned to 'offence' over the years by the continuous expansion and admission of other countries into the military alliance even beyond the 'North Atlantic' and to make matters worse, is the romance and admission of Russian's neighboring countries, and from that point, the seamlessly harmless 'defense' started turning into offense all of a sudden. Knowing fully well that NATO don't just admit members, they sometimes also deploy some sort of missile launch facilities in such countries which of course makes launching their own type of missile from that point/front possible.


What we need to understand is that most technologically sophisticated countries have a missile defense system that shields the country when missiles are thrown at them. Russia has exclaimed in the past that their defense system effectiveness will be threatened, if a missile is launched from a close range, and Russia even went on to request that NATO should give them an assurance that missile launch facilities deployment will not be done in the close neighbor countries of Russia if such country decides to join NATO. NATO however, said they cannot make such promises, Russia again protested to have NATO stop its expansion to Russia's neighbor countries, again, this legitimate concern were outrightly ignored, one of the most recent of this protest by Russia was in November 2021.


Now let's retrace our steps, a military alliance created during the 'war era', created to defend themselves against possible attack from Russia, starts to make 'gentle moves' that put Russian defense at serious risk and also, it is not doing anything to prove that there is no ulterior motive, and then, we expect Russia to not react.


At this point, I should state that this whole move by NATO has played out before in history, during Cuba missile crisis in 1962, where Cuba which is a neighbor-country to US, was a close ally of Russia, and then Russia constructed missile launch facilities in Cuba, which were said to be effectively targeting most of the US ground and were almost launched before the then US President, Kennedy, was alerted and had to negotiate with Russia to have them removed from Cuba. Also noting that US also deployed similar missiles in Italy and Turkey against Russia during the period.

The question now is, how will you react if you see your history-experience being played out again against you?



2 of 5:
What would happen if Ukraine successfully joined NATO?

Then NATO may decide to deploy long-range missiles in Ukraine, as they have done with Poland and Romania, and this will forever put Russia at their mercy. This situation is a situation no country wants to be in, talk less of a superpower country like Russia, I need to say that US will do worst if they ever find themselves in a situation where their supposed enemy is trying to 'camp' at their backyard.


3 of 5:
The situation after the first Russian invasion of Ukraine:

It is important to note that though Putin said that they (Russia) were prepared for any consequence, it is obvious now that they were not really ready for the "economic war" but then they have already drawn the first blood with Ukraine in the plan to prevent anything that will undermine Russia's safety in the future, after their initial warning fell on deaf ears. So, the question is:



4 of 5
What happens if Russia suddenly retreat?

1. The sanctions already in place by US and UK will still not be taken off:
This is because of what of an aggressive tactic I call CPT (The Continuous Punishment Tactic), a psychological process, where the 'punisher' elongates the punishment or suffering beyond the normal cause, to ensure that the 'punished' will never ever attempt in the future, to take the action or inaction that resulted to the punishment in the first place.

In a nutshell, what this means is that whether Russia retreat or not, the sanction is here to stay for a significant period.

2. The Ukraine-NATO agreement will quickly then be sealed for three reasons:

A. The retreat will be perceived as a strong sign of weakness from Russia, which NATO-Ukraine will want to capitalize on

B. Ukrainians has now seen more reason to join NATO, in other to avoid such invasion in the future (this of course, will be an unintended outcome for Russia, which is a very similar situation that played out with US and Cuba relationship up to cold war)

C. Ukrainians will want revenge:
The idea is, even if NATO (after Ukraine joins) does not attack Russia now, they know it’s only a matter of time before the confrontation between the two parties will happen, and they will gladly love to be the hand or part of the hand to be used to put the common enemy to his knees or to slaughter (another similar situation with US- Cuba relationship up to cold war).


3. In war, it is a fact that whoever budges first or surrenders will pay dearly for losing, therefore Russia will be placed on conditions that will be so humiliating, that it will never again be seen as a world power in years to come.

The conditions might include and not limited to:
A. Russia will lose its annex and even part of its original territory
B. Russia will be heavily fined
C. US and UK will request that Putin be extradited for his 'crimes' in Ukraine
D. The existing sanctions will still not be removed until they make sure every single Russian dignity is gone.



5 of 5
Is there NATO’s agenda in all of these?

With NATO'S budding romance with Ukraine, it will be hilarious to hear that NATO was not expecting a reaction from Russia, and if they were expecting a reaction, then it could be that this whole Russia invasion was masterminded by NATO just to display Russia as 'the devil in action' that their campaign has talked about since their creation, and this will of course trigger more countries to join NATO and further isolate Russia.

Written by Profstar.

Guy, finally I find someone that understands what is going on.

Thank you so much for this.
I asked a question on Twitter the other day and I haven't gotten a good response:

"You are an asthmatic person in a jointly owned face-me-I-face-you, and then your informed next door neighbor decides to open a mini fragrance factory right in his room. How do you react?"

This is the situation NATO put Russia with their budding romance with Ukraine

Pierocash:
NATO steer clear of Russia's border. You cannot be trespassing on someone's doorstep as an enemy and not expect to be attacked.

NATO is trying to push the world into another world war,which will get them burnt badly.

She don't understand the principle of symbiotic relationship.
Most male and female are like that these days.
Go into the marriage, I can guarantee you that you will regret (no porn intended).

Also forget seating her down and trying to reason with her, the best you will get is, she will change for good till wedding night and then return to who you currently know

Brownshoe:
Op start Putin everybody.

Best advice, i swear, just pick one week and show everybody pepper, everybody no exception

Becoming "tough" is part of growth for guys like us, I was also naturally not having the "jungle mindset" until a career growth job came that requires that I start to lead people. I am very intelligent but you see, nobody cares, they will still attempt to play you a fool, everytime the opportunity shows for them, if you don't show that you can be extremely 'mean' when crossed.

If you are not a lion, nobody will respect you and even worse is, they cause you serious embarrassment.

But the moment you step up your game... respect will just start falling in even when you don't demand for it.

I hope you get inspired and grow

Happy sunday Nairalander,
I heard a minister criticising prenuptial agreement but without biblical support for his criticism.

Please what is the biblical view about prenuptial agreement?

Access Bank, where are you, see free lunch

Well, I will leave the blaming for others.

For you are also a very bad ingrate, selfish and self centered.

Your sister risked not getting married to because of you, do you know the balls it takes to marry a baby mama? You are now here talking about best school, why can't your other baby attend the best school here? Why do you have to take her abroad?

Ingrate

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

@op below is your best advice o

Most small companies work load are usually more than big companies, and even job security risk can be higher

I will suggest you asked questions from the staff of the small company either you go there or connect them on LinkedIn, they may give you hints. If they are unwilling to talk about their experience then that alone is a red light

Either way, the decision is yours, don't regret even if your final decision seems wrong at the end of the day. That is what learning is all about

ILoveDemMANNA:

First @the bolded, you never knew the workload of first job will be so stressful before you started,
So why are you so sure that the second job won't be so stressful also,
Cos I believe workload in a smaller organizations could be even more stressful than big companies.
If you think you can grow as you go on the first job, and build your career, please keep working there and keep the job.
But at the end of it all, the final decision is up to you.
All the best Blessyn.

Buhari will be like, Social media bill

emeviks:
.. know my shit! In fact my name could never tell that I am black, African. I get the interviews but once they are my black face, all else changed...

How won't they know? Most of them will already check you out on LinkedIn before inviting you over

Samtobh:
Driving on Badagry road is like travelling in a war zone.

To say the the road has become a national embarrassment will be an understatement.

Had to execute some rural electrification projects around Badary-Seme axis and couldn't drive 1km. The whole stretch to Seme Border is a death trap.

Since 2018 that the contract was awarded and abandoned, I can see little changes this year, gone through the road a few times and sure work is ongoing. The question is, how many years will it take the government to fix a road of 62km , (mile 2 to seme border)?

It is well

Nobody will understand the weight of this your post until they have had an experience of it.

The last time I pass there, I practically entered about 13 bikes, at every junction, we will come down from the bike (myself and bikeman, and carry the bike with our hands over to different sides, just to maneuver. It is crazy as hell