PresidKing: Mrs. Chima,
I love your analogy,good stuff out there, Jealousy is good.

Sure thing!

Jelousy means that love is under strain and being restricted to just one place/person and time....Love is free,love is for every one as in the commandment to "love One Another"....Jelousy is associated with love of one as reason to hate another,and if it breeds hate,it is not love...

No genuie love without Jealosye]

pro01: True love is probably impossible without feelings of jealousy, although one must distinguish between genuine jealousy and the maniacal possessiveness displayed by some individuals with serious self-esteem issues. The latter has little to do with love and much to do with psychcological disturbance. Anyways.

Some people say jealousy is the same thing as insecurity. They're right. However, they also need to understand that insecurity is not always a bad thing, considering that there can be no real love without insecurity. To understand what I mean, we need to be sure what 'insecurity' and 'security' really mean in the context of romantic relationships.

Insecurity/jealousy means that you're not confident about your position - you think there is a possibility of losing your partner or sharing him or her with someone else. You take stock of your shortcomings and wonder whether your partner considers you 'sufficient' for him or her. You need frequent reassurances from your partner that your position is safe, and that you are capable of being/doing enough to make him or her happy.

On the other hand, security means that you are complacent/self-satisfied/indifferent about your position. You believe you are 'sufficient' for your partner regardless of your shortcomings or whatever anyone else has to offer him or her; or you assume that it does not matter whether you are sufficient or not. You take your position (and your partner's love) for granted, and you do not need any reassurances. It is essentially a 'take it or leave it' state of mind.

Now, looking critically at these two states of mind, which one do you think is the 'love' state of mind? Before you answer that, you need to remember that love is an emotional feeling (perhaps one of the strongest emotions), and that jealousy/insecurity are also based strongly on emotions.

Insecurity/jealousy often stems from emotional attachment, whereas security stems from either apathetic aloofness or self-centred detachment. Against this basic premise, one can argue that love (which is a concerned, attachment-based state of mind) is incompatible with security (which is an apathetic, detachment-based state of mind).

What this further suggests is that jealousy/insecurity implies an active expression of concern about one's partner, whereas security implies a passive expression of indifference about one's partner. It stands to reason, therefore, that it is almost impossible to be 'secure' and 'in love' at the same time. Then again, this is only an academic postulation.

you are only assuming a fact not proved

even God our maker is a jealous God , how much more we humans. U dat claims nt to b a jealous typ n secure . U av nt actualy bn in lov b4, cos if u do , u wil knw wot it is to compromise.

A little jealousy in a relationship is healthy

Mrs.Chima:


Awwwwww. I got you shaking in your boots huh? Well, it is not surprising that some people mistake bluntness with being mean. But hey!

Don't worry I won't bite you....I am not in NIgeria.

lol okay, i am not in nigeria either but cool