cant make head or tail of the story, all i get is neither party used a condom and neither did anyone keep their legs closed.

at the end of 2011 he went to see my parents to let them know his intention. after 2010 we had a misunderstanding which was his fault; that led to seperation. This kept me in a very tight heartbreak it took Gods grace for me to get on with my life again, without any relationship. He came begging, saying he has realize his faults so on and so forth, that I should forgive and give him a second chance that he is a change Person. 2012 November I decided to give him that second chance because of the Love I had for him.

and maybe because you were reading ex threads on nl.

Long tori

Moral of the tori, until a man puts a ring on that finger and weds you officially, keep your legs and your womb closed. Never carry belle for a man who is yet to marry you

Abortion is the next plan on the line because me i can't marry single mother.



That bastar.d doesn't love you,he's only after your fresh pully.

CocoSprinkles:




OP, I really feel for you, this is surely a dilemma no one wishes to be in. If you had known d first time round, u wud not have given him a second chance to ruin u like this, u wud have just counted ur loss that time and I'm sure by now, u wud have been healed of any heartbreak u felt then. Well dear, we know its too late for what ifs, so lets tackle the problem we have at hand.

Based on my personal opinion, I won't advice you to go into marriage with that fella, except u choose to sha for the sake of ur unborn child, but for ur sake u may be entering a life of continuous heartbreak/lies in the hands of this man and his mother. Whatever u choose to do, pls have that baby. If that baby was to speak to u from ur womb, I'm sure it wud plead mercilessly for its life like every human wud if their life is being snatched from them, and wish to be given the chance to live through life (school, work, raise its own family etc). I'm sure this child wud b grateful to u for sparing it. Nevertheless, I'm sure u have family to support u but if for any reason u cannot or do want the child, there's always the option of adoption, u can even arrange for the right family to adopt your child or better still in a way that u could always come back for the child when u r ready. Good luck dear.


P:S- Why did the fella say u can't separate him from his mother? I'm just curious cuz it's too serious for just a random statement

As n ehh women don suffer for this life.I tire oh.But all these guys self reason am well now.I thank God what u gv is def what u will get.At the end of the day if she eventuallys marries now,dis guy e go d fnd either wife or pickin two tins are involved.

Now let me advice you.

First, you used the word 'spouse'. My dear, you have to be married to him to be his spouse.

I have gone through your past posts on nairaland and all I can do is tell you sorry .

Going by your past posts, your present guy was your cousin's ex. You started dating her ex. Also this guy continually collected your money numerous times to finance projects that he never told you about. He used you as his ATM machine and yet you still followed him blindly because he promised you marriage. Also this guy cheated on you because you once caught him in bed with another woman, but you still continued with the relationship. You still continued with the relationship because you wanted to be called a married woman.

All the signs were there to advice you against that relationship. Numerous times you came on NL to seek advice on your troubled relationship but you still continued with it regardless of what people told you. See as cockroach don jam caterpillar tyre. Choi!!!

Well, I hope other ladies will learn from your mistakes. Sorry, there is no advice I can give you. E don blow for you. You don carry unwanted belle.

The Lord is your strength...Keep the child since you claim you love this man...with you family support and strength from GOD...you will be fine...but do not allow yourself to get worked up over any man...for me it is his loss.....

pDude: Long tori

Moral of the tori, until a man puts a ring on that finger and weds you officially, keep your legs and your womb closed. Never carry belle for a man who is yet to marry you

gbam.you have hit the nail on the head.infact you have summarised what i have been saying since unfortunatly many unwise girls will not live their folly,some are even encouraging single motherhood.tufiaaa

Having taking my time to go through this post, I will deduce this action of the lady involved as an irresponsible act.
How can you be responsible for the wedding cost by yourself and your family? This goes to show that you are the cause of your present predicament.
You cannot buy love or marriage.The taste of friendship is not the taste of marriage. No sensible girl will pick a man and pay the marriage cost and expect that that marriage will work. If you had been legally married and you have the money, as married couple, you can bring your money give him or help him stand but not the other way round.
Keep the baby but I cannot support this marriage because of your guy's antecedents. Your mother bringing in her money to support to marry you out could also meant to be that your family were desperate to give you out to marriage, maybe you have bad character or too old.

pDude: Long tori

Moral of the tori, until a man puts a ring on that finger and weds you officially, keep your legs and your womb closed. Never carry belle for a man who is yet to marry you

A lot of marriages have occured that way, and some men actually prefers d lady to be pregnant before dey marry btw.
At OP, maybe u shouldn't hav said anything abt the pregnancy since he has started doing something already, u just allow dem to continue and see where it goes. Meanwhile some men are natural time wasters shaa. Something like dis has happend to a close friend of mine, but sadly she had to terminate, I would have adviced u do thesame but since, the mum is already aware of it maybe u hav to reconsider so dey may not find something to use against u in later.

cyril83: Abortion is the next plan on the line because me i can't marry single mother.



That bastar.d doesn't love you,he's only after your fresh pully.

God bless you for that,thank you o

My dear, You should be happy and grateful to God that he is showing these signs early enough. This man has shown this sign before and you didnt see it. I dont think you should mourn over him. Begin to plan for life without him. Plan for your unborn child and devote your time to God, Prayer and hardwork. That man is not worth it. Let him marry his mother and his village. Go and wash your face and help yourself to a good plate of pepper soup with Malt to wash down. Believe me, he is not worth your time and life.

Sorry to say, this story doesn't make any sense.

He did the introduction
Things were going alright
You got pregnant
He decided to move to the village to live with his mum
He cancelled the white wedding
You said you started dating in 2008, in 2011 he came to your parents with his intention, in 2010 you separated (hope this was a typo )

A sane man does not do this type of 360 degrees
If you really need help, you need to say the truth and not embellish it.

Did he say you were unfaithful?
Did you have a skirmish with his mom?
Is there any rumour floating around about you?
Did you do something diabolic or were you accused of such?
How come you are paying for your wedding ( 70%)?

You have no obligation to give us these answers, it is your life, but if you genuinely need help, then don't tell us a story that casts you as the good and the other, a villain
With this story, we will tell you what you want to hear and that might not be the right solution

Also it will be helpful to know what you do, and if you both are graduates, secondary school leavers or none of the above.

pweeryambre:
A lot of marriages have occured that way, and some men actually prefers d lady to be pregnant before dey marry btw.
At OP, maybe u shouldn't hav said anything abt the pregnancy since he has started doing something already, u just allow dem to continue and see where it goes. Meanwhile some men are natural time wasters shaa. Something like dis has happend to a close friend of mine, but sadly she had to terminate, I would have adviced u do thesame but since, the mum is already aware of it maybe u hav to reconsider so dey may not find something to use against u in later.

if a man tells you to get pregnant before marriage that is a clear indicator that he sees you only as a s3x image and a baby making factory.one stewpeed man told my sister the same line that before he puts a ring on it,she has to get pregnant.i thank God for her life that she dumped his soory a,,ss for someone better who loves,respects and cherishes her and sees her beyond a baby making machine.mshewww.is it that line anyone will now be using to scare or threaten me,to hell with him and his ring

kulyie: and whose surname will a product from two fornicators bear especially when the partner has decided to turn his mom into his wife and abandoned the lady

must you have to be rude to make your poingt?

clintwine: Sorry to say, this story doesn't make any sense.

He did the introduction
Things were going alright
You got pregnant
He decided to move to the village to live with his mum
He cancelled the white wedding
You said you started dating in 2008, in 2011 he came to your parents with his intention, in 2010 you separated (hope this was a typo )

A sane man does not do this type of 360 degrees
If you really need help, you need to say the truth and not embellish it.

Did he say you were unfaithful?
Did you have a skirmish with his mom?
Is there any rumour floating around about you?
Did you do something diabolic or were you accused of such?
How come you are paying for your wedding ( 70%)?

You have no obligation to give us these answers, it is your life, but if you genuinely need help, then don't tell us a story that casts you as the good and the other, a villain
With this story, we will tell you what you want to hear and that might not be the right solution

Also it will be helpful to know what you do, and if you both are graduates, secondary school leavers or none of the above.

thank you very much o!

peelovee: Greetings Dear NLs,
I am in big confussion right now!

Jan 2013 He went for my introduction and traditional and white has been plan for April 27th cards has been distributed (All expenses 70% from my side, 15% from my parents,10% from my spouse). febraury fell ill seriously after, after treatment I discovered I was already 8weeks pregnant, I told my spouse, his response was not encouraging.

You messed up big time. What type of Man do you sponsor 70% of wedding for ? How will he take care of you.

Is it by force to Marry or you have not read how this jobless people turn violent ?

A man who can decide to go to the village without blinking is not worthy to be your 'spouse'.

I pray God will help you but my 'wicked' advice is that you do something about the baby and start your life afresh. That guy has no plan for you and you will live in misery associating with him in any form.

I don't know why abortion can not be legalized in this country..

My fellow Ladies when will some of us ever have self esteem and self respect.why force love and friendship.how long were you thinking it would last.Did you say 70% finance from you?.na wa oh.am tired of things like this.oya be ready for the life of a single mum.

kalunomics: must you have to be rude to make your poingt?

the last time i checked fornicators are two unmarried partners having s3x,so what is rude about that,is it the name that they are or the fact that the girl was not wise enough to use pregnancy preventing drugs or a condom,which resulted into pregnancy,moreover truth is never respectful,so.......

clintwine: Sorry to say, this story doesn't make any sense.

He did the introduction
Things were going alright
You got pregnant
He decided to move to the village to live with his mum
He cancelled the white wedding
You said you started dating in 2008, in 2011 he came to your parents with his intention, in 2010 you separated (hope this was a typo )

A sane man does not do this type of 360 degrees
If you really need help, you need to say the truth and not embellish it.

Did he say you were unfaithful?
Did you have a skirmish with his mom?
Is there any rumour floating around about you?
Did you do something diabolic or were you accused of such?
How come you are paying for your wedding ( 70%)?

You have no obligation to give us these answers, it is your life, but if you genuinely need help, then don't tell us a story that casts you as the good and the other, a villain
With this story, we will tell you what you want to hear and that might not be the right solution

Also it will be helpful to know what you do, and if you both are graduates, secondary school leavers or none of the above.

The truth here because I believe that she has not opened up at all. How come you pay 70% and your mum also paid part, which translates that there is something wrong with the poster here and the family wants to throw her out. Come and carry marriage.

It is not advisable to go back to a relationship that has gone sour no matter what. It is like going back to ur vomit. All u need now is to be strong and fend for ur baby. As 4 the guy 4get him and God will see u thru.

clintwine: Sorry to say, this story doesn't make any sense.

He did the introduction
Things were going alright
You got pregnant
He decided to move to the village to live with his mum
He cancelled the white wedding
You said you started dating in 2008, in 2011 he came to your parents with his intention, in 2010 you separated (hope this was a typo )

A sane man does not do this type of 360 degrees
If you really need help, you need to say the truth and not embellish it.

Did he say you were unfaithful?
Did you have a skirmish with his mom?
Is there any rumour floating around about you?
Did you do something diabolic or were you accused of such?
How come you are paying for your wedding ( 70%)?

You have no obligation to give us these answers, it is your life, but if you genuinely need help, then don't tell us a story that casts you as the good and the other, a villain
With this story, we will tell you what you want to hear and that might not be the right solution

Also it will be helpful to know what you do, and if you both are graduates, secondary school leavers or none of the above.

Oh it all makes perfect sense.

Everyone on NL has a history that can be seen by going through their past posts. Just go through her history: right from when she started dating him until present. You will see that the relationship has always been a troubled one from the scratch. They broke up several times but the dude always came back begging with crocodile tears in his eyes, and the OP always blindly accepted him because he always returned with a fresh promise of marriage .

Chai . See as sharp guyman don play this babe mugu

Mrs mansson: My fellow Ladies when will some of us ever have self esteem and self respect.why force love and friendship.how long were you thinking it would last.Did you say 70% finance from you?.na wa oh.am tired of things like this.oya be ready for the life of a single mum.

i just tire

andyanders: Having taking my time to go through this post, I will deduce this action of the lady involved as an irresponsible act.
How can you be responsible for the traditional marriage cost by yourself and your family? This goes to show that you are the cause of your present predicament.
You cannot buy love or marriage.The taste of friendship is not the taste of marriage. No sensible girl will pick a man and pay the marriage cost and expect that that marriage will work. If you had been legally married and you have the money, as married couple, you can bring your money give him or help him stand but not the other way round.
Keep the baby but I cannot support this marriage because of your guy's antecedents. Your mother bringing in her money to support to marry you out could also meant to be that your family were desperate to give you out to marriage, maybe you have bad character or too old.

The gal needs advice and not blames, if u don't have anythin nice to say then don't say at all. I don't like wen people digress. Meanwhile 60 percent of marriages dat occur in our country 2day is being sponsored by d bride if u don't know. even among the millionares, the richer side takes up the expenses, some do it not out of desperation but just to help out and mk things run well. Plus d unemployment rate and in economy were women earn jobs faster than men, I see no reason a wife to be shouldn't help out her husband to be if she is in a position to. So can u now suggest an advice for her.

dammytosh:

You messed up big time. What type of Man do you sponsor 70% of wedding for ? How will he take care of you.

Is it by force to Marry or you have not read how this jobless people turn violent ?

A man who can decide to go to the village without blinking is not worthy to be your 'spouse'.

I pray God will help you but my 'wicked' advice is that you do something about the baby and start your life afresh. That guy has no plan for you and you will live in misery associating with him in any form.

I don't know why abortion can not be legalized in this country..

Go through her past posts. She wanted to be married by all means

pDude:

Oh it all makes perfect sense.

Everyone on NL has a history that can be seen by going through their past posts. Just go through her history: right from when she started dating him until present. You will see that the relationship has always been a troubled one from the scratch. They broke up several times but the dude always came back begging with crocodile tears in his eyes, and the OP always blindly accepted him because he always returned with a fresh promise of marriage .

Chai . See as sharp guyman don play this babe mugu

lol this your sarcasm ehhen

Greetings Dear NLs,
I am in big confussion right now!

My spouse and I have been dating since 2008, at the end of 2011 he went to see my parents to let them know his intention. after 2010 we had a misunderstanding which was his fault; that led to seperation. This kept me in a very tight heartbreak it took Gods grace for me to get on with my life again, without any relationship.

E be like say na only me see this one. New tales by moonlight everyday

Mynd_44:
Must you spam everywhere with it? Why quote me when you don't have anything(good or bad) to say?

You should be proud I quoted you.You attack a problem from its roots. A visit to the link will give you a better perspective of the genesis of her problem. Please stop throwing tantrums my dear.

same old story, ppl never learn from others mistakes,smh

pweeryambre:
The gal needs advice and not blames, if u don't have anythin nice to say then don't say at all. I don't like wen people digress. Meanwhile 60 percent of marriages dat occur in our country 2day is being sponsored by d bride if u don't know. even among the millionares, the richer side takes up the expenses, some do it not out of desperation but just to help out and mk things run well. Plus d unemployment rate and in economy were women earn jobs faster than men, I see no reason a wife to be shouldn't help out her husband to be if she is in a position to. So can u now suggest an advice for her.

so who is marrying who then?the wife is marrying the husband abi.any woman that pays for her wedding means that she is the one marrying the man.jeez,self respect has vanished in this society o.many ladies are ready to thow their dignity away to be mrs somebody.smh.what a pity

peelovee: Greetings Dear NLs,
I am in big confussion right now!

My spouse and I have been dating since 2008, at the end of 2011 he went to see my parents to let them know his intention. after 2010 we had a misunderstanding which was his fault; that led to seperation. This kept me in a very tight heartbreak it took Gods grace for me to get on with my life again, without any relationship. He came begging, saying he has realize his faults so on and so forth, that I should forgive and give him a second chance that he is a change Person. 2012 November I decided to give him that second chance because of the Love I had for him. Jan 2013 He went for my introduction and traditional and white has been plan for April 27th cards has been distributed (All expenses 70% from my side, 15% from my parents,10% from my spouse). febraury fell ill seriously after, after treatment I discovered I was already 8weeks pregnant, I told my spouse, his response was not encouraging.

Just yesterday he called me and said he is no longer interested, that no tradition/wedding till after i deliver the baby. And that he want to inform me that he has relocated to the village to stay(I confirm this morning and it is true), and that I should have it in mind that i can not seperate him from his mum. even his mum called to confirm dat.

My mum called his mum last night and she told her the same story. She even went ahead to tell my mum that i am lucky they did my introduction before the pregnacy, that what about girls that gets pregnant without see who's is responsible.

I am totally confussed: this pregnacy is just my major concerned as it is almost ten weeks.
what should i do? advise

TYPICAL!!!! Its always the man's fault....NANSENSE!!!

And btw stop calling the man ur ''spouse'' because you guys are not married! As for the baby keep it!
.
.
.
(Singing while leaving thread).........*She don carry belly, shakara don end o*

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

If you have decided to let go. Terminate the pregnancy. Go to a very good hospital and your life is not at risk and please after this, stop being s-t-u-p-i-d cos from history, you have been s-t-u-p-i-d since 2010.

Sorry i am a bit harsh but you need someone to talk sense into your sorry head.

A guy who just sleep with you and collect your money , yet you are foolishly falling in love. Please save that innocent baby the consequence of your foolishness and do what u need to do fast.

peelovee: and that I should have it in mind that i can not seperate him from his mum. even his mum called to confirm dat.

@OP,
If your story is true, then I'm really sorry for your situation. I'm pretty sure no woman in her right mind would want live perpetually with any man that cannot separate from his mother. It would be unbearable.
My advice:
1. keep the child and see it as the cross you have to carry for your poor judgement. I am giving this advice because I am biased against abortion. I view it as murder. From your post, I am inclined to believe that you are financially capable of raising the child. Or may be your family is.
2.You do not exist to live up to societal expectations. Marriage is not a must. But since you seem to really want it, I hope you find a man who is worthy of you.
3. Never go back to that boy trapped in a man's body even if he claims he has changed. I'm not saying you shouldn't forgive, just be wise about it. I personally find it hard to believe that people can undergo genuine change. This one has wickedness, dishonesty, irresponsiblity and insensitivity seated deep within him.

Again these are my personal opinions. Hope you make the most advantageous decisions, even if they may not be obvious to you or anyone here yet. Good luck.