babe2011: Never ever force any man to marry you. If the man is not willing to marry you leave him to go u own your own happiness not for anyone. Life is too short to allow any man make u unhappy, u can be happy without a man. Also don't abort the pregnancy keep the baby,cause dats one of the best gift you can have and then prayerfully ask God to give u a man that sincerely love you and I bet you he will take care of the baby also. Pls pls never abort that baby another one may never come when u need it. My advise#hugs#

Gbam!
Joy comes in the morning
This is not easy I can imagine but it can be done
She just needs good supportive parents and loved ones that value the well being of their daughter more than what society says.

osisi you wouldnt let your family marry a single mom, why have her go thru that fate?

Same people telling her to keep it will be the ones talking mess behind her back and telling the men in their family to keep away.

He is still ur man, he never tell u he does not want u.Just pay him visit in the village and sit him and his mother down on round table discussion.If a lady is pregnant for a man, the usual thing is to park and join the man.Have u try this option?, or are u the type that dont have anything to do with people living in rural areas?.Some tribes by tradition dont pay bride price when a woman is pregnant untill she put to bed.

@ the poster ,about the cards already distributed,let me tell you something my family did after a relatives wife to be chickened out 2 weeks to the wedding
My father advised him to contact the radio station and have an announcement made that the wedding has been postponed and a future date will be communicated .
That ,and word of mouth, the information went everywhere
The woman later changed her mind yet again and my relatives told the young man that he was on his own.

ThiefOfHearts: osisi you wouldnt let your family marry a single mom, why have her go thru that fate?

Same people telling her to keep it will be the ones talking mess behind her back and telling the men in their family to keep away.

Where did I say so
Please quote me
I hate being misquoted

Longest time BTW
How have u been?

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

Please don't try to terminate it at all, don't even think of it.... pls. cos you dont know who he\she is going to be tomorrow. it's your everlasting Joy... pls keep it.

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

To terminate the life of the baby makes you a murderer and God will demand its blood from you. I don't want to hit you hard but its very stuuipid of you to open your leg for years for a total stranger ! I can't just believe this. He lost his job years back and has been deceiving you! Aren't you smart enough to notice he is jobless. Perhaps your desperation to get married made you decide to foot the wedding bill, why wouldn't he chicken out? He owed no responsibility to you and that is why he found it easy to go away. Him and his mother and family are no worth associating with, they are of dubious character and don't allow them have any role in the life of your child when you eventually give birth( you must never abort that pregnancy). This is another lesson to every single lady out there, don't allow anyman stay around you for more than a year without defining his intentions clearly. Do a thorough background check on him. He tells you he is a lawyer, find out his law firm and his collegues, he says he is an engineer, try and check him up on site, he claims he is an importer, go to the see what he imports etc.

nwando:

Where did I say so
Please quote me
I hate being misquoted

Longest time BTW
How have u been?

abeg Nigerians are against single mothers..we both know this. I even remember that huge thread from back in the day with men AND women calkling them damaged goods

I dey jare

How are you

I thought village square kidnapped you

YOU CAN TELL THE TASTE OF THE SHIT FROM THE SMELL OF THE FART(MESS).HE IS NOT MAN ENOUGH YET,KEEP YOUR BABY AND YOUR FINGERS CROSSED,GOD WILL SURELY HELP YOU.

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

Kai
I really do feel for this girl
How old are you if I may ask
This is not easy I can imagine
Ndo

Just spoke my mind.

I cannot say that the life ahead would be easy, but you won't be the first to be in such situations
It is not what happens that matters, but it is what we do to that which has happened that matters

The fact you are down today, doesn't mean you will be down for the rest of your life.
You can always change your situation, just focus on you kid and yourself, and tell yourself that anything you are doing is to give him/her the best in life


[/quote]

ThiefOfHearts:

abeg Nigerians are against single mothers..we both know this. I even remember that huge thread from back in the day with men AND women calkling them damaged goods

I dey jare

How are you

I thought village square kidnapped you

Well I came back last December and was looking for all the old posters I knew
I dey o
I still dey dia kwa

I know men have a hard time marrying single mothers especially Igbo men,I have written on that but never said it was ok to do so but stating that the average never been married Igbo man would dump a woman once he found out she had a kid from another relationship.
being in a hell of a marriage is a worse place to be IMHO
I would rather be a single mother than in a a hellish union and I doff my heart for women who have the courage to leave abusive unions

Imagine attempting to marry a man who has been unemployed since 2006?
I don't get this poster
How could a woman not know her man was unemployed for 7 solid years,that one dey ridiculous

andyanders:


Two of her posts goes to show that she is coming from somewhere and I believe the poster must be sponsoring the guy and teh guy taking advantage of her as a result of her state of health.

Yeah the two threads pointed to that direction but the physically challenged is not really clear. It may be the man and not her. It's really really important that naive young growing girls be directed well by the people around them lest some capitalize on their innocence and goodness to take advantage of them.

nwando:

First and foremost,he is not your spouse
So please stop calling him your spouse Ok?
He is not even a man
Secondly,what in the world will possess you to pay expenses for your own marriage
Are you that desperate ?
Do your parents want to get rid of you?
Why in the world should you and your parents foot the bill for your marriage?
That is the point at which you should have fled from this hot mess

This is a lesson in disguise
He has shown you a shadow of things to come in this doomed union were it to happen
He will probably come begging again,I hope you will be wiser
Good luck with the baby ,carry it to term and have your baby
It is your baby not his
He abandoned you,he abandoned the baby
No ifs or buts
Hopefully your parents will support you
Do not make the foolish mistake of naming this child after this eediotic loser
Give it your last name and delete him from your memory fast
He is not worth it at all
There is nothing positive in this man from all you have said
Chickened out of a relationship dumping a pregnant fiancee ,Moved to the village with his mother,probably unemployed
An efulefu ,loafer extraordinaire
I wouldn't even hire him to walk my dog
Tufiakwa

Take the pregnancy as the only positive that came out of a 5 year wasted relationship with an eediot hopefully the innocent baby will not inherited his useless traits
I know it looks like a double negative now
Have the courage to hold your head up high and walk away,let the people say what they like,you did nothing wrong
Don't make the mistake of begging this eediot to marry you because you want him o take away the shame of the disappointment,you will regret it
When you look into the eyes of the baby,your sorrow will turn to joy
Wishing you all the best
This is not the end of your world

Nwando did you say that you won't even hire the "my-mummy-winer-man" fella to walk your dog. Hahaaa
Nne you want make our girl cry.

nwando:

Well I came back last December and was looking for all the old posters I knew
I dey o
I still dey dia kwa

I know men have a hard time marrying single mothers especially Igbo men,I have written on that but never said it was ok to do so but stating that the average never been married Igbo man would dump a woman once he found out she had a kid from another relationship.
being in a hell of a marriage is a worse place to be IMHO
I would rather be a single mother than in a a hellish union and I doff my heart for women who have the courage to leave abusive unions

Imagine attempting to marry a man who has been unemployed since 2006?
I don't get this poster
How could a woman not know her man was unemployed for 7 solid years,that one dey ridiculous

He was unemployed for that long and she didn't know. It seems that the poor girl wasn't guided well by the people around her. Her mother should have done better on seeing her daughter contribute 75% to the marriage and the young man 10% instead she contributed her own 15%. Her own is for her daughter to be married away without looking carefully to know who the heck the girl is going to spend her life with.

kulyie: and whose surname will a product from two fornicators bear especially when the partner has decided to turn his mom into his wife and abandoned the lady

what a self righteous piece of shit you are,all these holier than thou choir sisters who come here and start castigating others for their mistakes...who knows what you are involved in to?...stupid girl,are you infallible?very stupid,callous girl. oloriburuku alaimoroso

Ivynwa:

Yeah the two threads pointed to that direction but the physically challenged is not really clear. It may be the man and not her. It's really really important that naive young growing girls be directed well by the people around them lest some capitalize on their innocence and goodness to take advantage of them.



Nwando did you say that you won't even hire the my-mummy-winer-man-fella to walk your dog. Hahaaa
Nne you want make our girl cry.

What will make a woman waste 5 solid years with an efulefu
Could it be the size of package he is carrying
Is that enough
What good is a well endowed eediot?
IMHO the most attractive quality in a man is his intelligence
If you are dumb and uninspiring,I don't care what else you have going ,you are not worth a second of my precious time
I won't even hang around to see " Wetin you carry"

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

Please keep it. The deed has been done and there is no reason to punish the foetus for the sins of his/her father. From the way you sound you aren't doing badly thus, I believe you have the werewithal to raise the child.

Nnady Autos: He is still ur man, he never tell u he does not want u.Just pay him visit in the village and sit him and his mother down on round table discussion.If a lady is pregnant for a man, the usual thing is to park and join the man.Have u try this option?, or are u the type that dont have anything to do with people living in rural areas?.Some tribes by tradition dont pay bride price when a woman is pregnant untill she put to bed.

He should join a perpertual liar I guess you are joking right or does her being pregnant for him implies she must marry him?

OP

all these people yarning dust telling you to keep it, hopefully they help you in raising it. Make sure you email them oh when the time comes!

pweeryambre:
The gal needs advice and not blames, if u don't have anythin nice to say then don't say at all. I don't like wen people digress. Meanwhile 60 percent of marriages dat occur in our country 2day is being sponsored by d bride if u don't know. even among the millionares, the richer side takes up the expenses, some do it not out of desperation but just to help out and mk things run well. Plus d unemployment rate and in economy were women earn jobs faster than men, I see no reason a wife to be shouldn't help out her husband to be if she is in a position to. So can u now suggest an advice for her.

exactly,fine she was wrong,but for (God)'s sake,cant you just consider the fact that she is definitely in a bad frame of mind right now and needs encouragement,support and constructive advice,not all these hypocritical comments?of all you,kuli abi epa abi wtin be ur name in particular;who has not sinned among you?

my advice is,keep the child;there will be soo much poo to deal with,yes,but do your best and Hopefully,you will find someone who loves you enough to marry yo with the Kid,i say this because of the health risk involved in Abortion...one thing though,from your posts,that guy does not have one atom of husband material in him,you would be very foolish to get involved with him again.

I wish you Good Luck.

cc

Gbaguan 'you can keep d pregnant'

Ivynwa:

Yeah the two threads pointed to that direction but the physically challenged is not really clear. It may be the man and not her. It's really really important that naive young growing girls be directed well by the people around them lest some capitalize on their innocence and goodness to take advantage of them.

I believe the physically challenged issue is the lady hence the mom, the lady in question was spending such amount with her mother to see that the guy weds the lady.
Why must a lady die because of a man? A relationship that is give and take and a woman will kill herself just to please a man. Nonsense.

peelovee: I dont know what to do with this pregnacy.....
My fears: Its ten weeks and I dont know if it will be safe for termination
What about my life
What about My future


As for the marriage I have decided to let go..

advise pls

Sista ur old enough 2 take care of ueself n d unborn baby, I don't in anyway expect u 2 terminate d pregnancy, u don't know wat future dat child holds. I know a lot of tongue will wag about how ur presume fiance dumped n left u even family n close frnds wil talk n laugh behind ur back, but d truth b told is a cross u hav 2 carry 4 d future n well being of dat child.wat I will advice is dat if u hav enough cash start preparing 4 d unborn child, count ur lose wit ur presume fiance n move on, n if ur financially bouyant relocate 4rm where u r n start a new life, d reason being dat ur starting a new phase where u don't need ppl who r in ur past 2 start using dier bad words 2 pull u down or dampen ur mood n spirit.
Stay bless n may d gud Lors giv u d strenght 2 carry dis cross, but one tin is 4 sure u will come out of it happier dan wen u went in.

kulyie: the truth is usually unpleasant,i know you ladies dont like the truth thats why men keep taking undue advantage of you pees,the truth is never sweet but that doesnt stop it from being told.motimope eni gbo oro.mshewwww.smh.so if she becomes a single mom,can she single handedly take care of the child,even if she does,every child deserves a father and the child lacks a father from the womb,the man is only a s3x partner of the mom and not a father in every sense of the word

Excuse moi...i typed www.smh.so and it said the page you requested for cannot be displayed! What's the website all about?

andyanders:


I believe the physically challenged issue is the lady hence the mom, the lady in question was spending such amount with her mother to see that the guy weds the lady.
Why must a lady die because of a man? A relationship that is give and take and a woman will kill herself just to please a man. Nonsense.

Hey dearie! shshshshshshssh!
She may come back to clear that as some people have pointed out that---we mustn't talk about that loud for now. Shey you understand?

I feel for you oh!But thank God that d wedding did not hold.That would have been perpetual misery for you. About the baby,has he paid your bride price? Or just d introduction? The annoying thing is that he will come back for d baby later.I will advice u find a sister's convent that handles such cases I know of one in Onitsha, go into agreement with them stay there and give birth and give up d baby.But if he has not paid your bride price claim d baby, d fun of seeing ya baby will make you forget what u went thru , u are not d first single mother!

My dear cant you see that your man does not love you. You and your mother are forcing the marriage on him and thats why you bear all expenses. Even if he is not financially balanced, if he loves you he would have stayed by you. You desperately want to get married now see what you got yourself into. My advice is that you keep the pregnancy I know that being a single mother is not easy but you must carry your cross That child is going to wipe your tears tmorro.you can take care of yourself since you contributed 70% in marriage preparation As for the man coming for the child , it depends on the tradition of your people Don't go back to that man he does not deserve you, he is not man enough

WHEN UR PASTOR SAY NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE U GUYS GO DE COMPLAIN>>>>>>>>>>>>>SEE UR JAMB RESULT SEEK GOD"S FACE

Well best advice gv birth to that child and dnt in anyway gv it out.A lot of these gurls here wants you to commit murder,they call it D nd C but I call it MURDER.Many of my friends way bk in sch who had done such tins are married for 5,3 nd 7yrs witout issues.One who just got married ago is now complaining to me is not entering,how will it enter?When u ave killed dem all.Yes it was bad and a mistake to ave had intercourse before marriage buh no child from God is a wasted product dey are all blessings.Pray for forgiveness kip on blessing your child and u see the baby will bring blessings to you Forgive the father of ur child and move on with ur life.If he comes for his child settle with him maybe when the baby grows he or she will know the truth.Daz just the fact about life.Dnt hold on and force it.Things will sort out it self with tym.Takia of urself and baby.

70% of the expenses on you? You are the one marrying the guy na. Haba. The damage is done the village champion has gone back to climb palm trees in the village just move on with your life and give the unborn baby the necessary attention deserved.

Ogbeni shattap joor!! Drop d child for who? Did she tell u she can't take care of her baby?? Yes,she made α mistke,yes it happened but all this happened after introduction and trad wedding. After all that,wetin remain? Church wedding is jst α formality! She's α married woamn for God's sake! She isn't α teenager!! Her husband bailed out and u'r calling her dumb? Pls grow up!

kulyie: i am being real,there is nothing more real than what i have said.i have advised the op on 2 options its either she drops the child with the motherless babies or the fathers family.as a matter of fact if i were in her shoes (which i know i cant because i dont allow unnecessary emotions becloud my sense of judgement) i will go and dump the baby on the foot step of any of his family members.moreover knowing that there is no social security services,no child support bills etc is that not enough reason for ladies to use their number 6 that if the man abandons her and the baby,she is on her own.miss,there is always a consequence for every action in this earth that we live in,foolish or wise action,every adult will live with it,period!