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Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by leonshom(m): 1:54pm On Apr 14, 2013
Declare ur intentions @1st, datz better,buh if dat culd be hard 4u, then u can be friends. Best relationship comes 4rm friendship !
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by nikkyshyne(f): 2:11pm On Apr 14, 2013
Idi Amin: B4 NKO. IF NOT 4 SEX, Y WILL I BE WASTING GRAMMAR ON NAIJA LADIES. THEY STINK "HUH"
Smh. Buzz off!
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by YOUNGKAHUNA: 2:20pm On Apr 14, 2013
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Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by richmoney99: 2:22pm On Apr 14, 2013
most ladies hate dullin guys and real men dont beat arnd bush. guys be d oga at the top of her but respect her o
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by DESMONDIME1(m): 2:23pm On Apr 14, 2013
What works for laddy A may not work for laddy B.But 65% of intentions made known during friendship are successfull.Most times declaring intentions at start may be consider as lust as you don't even know each other & some laddies may not like too look to cheap to accept at start.For me friendship is the bases where love is built.
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Nobody: 2:23pm On Apr 14, 2013
Start as friends but within a 2 weeks let your intentions be known, but don't just start with all the I love u BS. if u remain friends for too long, u get friendzoned and its your fault oh, not my fault
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by YOUNGKAHUNA: 2:23pm On Apr 14, 2013
I Make My Intention Known. Relationship Results To Friendship

That Has Worked Out For Me In So Many Occasions.

I'm Solomon Of My Time grin grin
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Ayoobscom(m): 2:24pm On Apr 14, 2013
There's no conventional path to a good relationship for some it is immediate for others it is tentative...

La takrabu shinna
And do not go close to fornication
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Nobody: 2:25pm On Apr 14, 2013
I guess depend on which country you are in...it seems like Nigerian girls like that friend stuff....not here though.....if you start as a friend here....you will be nothing more then a friend period.....girls here rarely ever date a friend... its too awkward.....its a lot better to be strait forward if you ask me....I don't even get that friendship crap...I hope you can get your wisdom from Nairaland...Chalay

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Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Sike(m): 2:28pm On Apr 14, 2013
Intention first... then Friendship later i.e, if my intention's declined. smiley Best move for me that never failed.
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Nobody: 2:30pm On Apr 14, 2013
priest2u: which is better? When a lady becomes my friend I find it very difficult to ask her out, starting as friends has never worked for me, I prefer she knows my intention from the start though I might take it slowly.So is something wrong with my appraoch? There is this very pretty lady that I like but unfortunately I have made her my very good friend so I can no longer ask her out.I need opinion from the house.

IF U HAVE MONEY IT WONT MATTER AS LONG AS URE READY 2 SPEND ON THEM
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by BizBloke(m): 2:34pm On Apr 14, 2013
Irritant: Rape her at the beginning n she will never forget u... grin grin grin
Hian!
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by BizBloke(m): 2:35pm On Apr 14, 2013
nikkyshyne: Smh. Buzz off!
LOOOL
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by sage2(m): 2:37pm On Apr 14, 2013
strangest: Make the money first and you can start anywhere you want.. Imagine inviting her over to your own yacht, she won't want to go home again.. A lot of them love good things

Praise the Lord! Who would have thought that we still have great thinkers on Nairaland?
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by BizBloke(m): 2:37pm On Apr 14, 2013
Intention first? No.
Friendship first? No. The thing dey confusing - sitting-on-the-fence kinda thing. Just follow your heart sha. But the truth is you can't just meet a lady today and start telling her you really like her. How do you even know you like her ni?
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Nobody: 2:39pm On Apr 14, 2013
Friendship for where,Who has time for dat?? When I see a girl I fancy, I give it to her straight, of course u musnt use the word "love", how can u love someone u just met, u date some one because u are attracted to them, whether u get to love them or not, depends on the other factors. You don't even need to get emotional. Any girl u have been hanging out with for 2 weeks without making a move soon starts seeing you as unserious and in a nut shell "just a friend and u just do not want dat. Abi
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by LivingSaint(m): 2:49pm On Apr 14, 2013
Like the French say, "A chacun son avis." Every combination of individuals has got its own peculiar dynamics. For instance, what approach worked for John and Alice might not work for Emeka and Ngozi; and the dynamics for both scenarios might be altered if you have John with Ngozi and Emeka with Alice. In other words, allow your intuition lead you per situation.

1 Like

Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by sage2(m): 2:49pm On Apr 14, 2013
FYsol:
i quite agree with the OP, when you get close to ladies first and then ask them out they tell you i thought we were friends. my question is do they want to date an enemy? this has happened to me twice.

Good question. My guy, your own even better say na twice e hapunTM to you. I have three gorgeous girls who parade themselves as my friends. Even thought I try to make it known to them that the only people I consider as friends are my Gs and I don't intent to change that anytime soon.

1 Like

Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by chucky234(m): 3:03pm On Apr 14, 2013
If you are highly skilled in the act of seduction then both works like magic,I have used being friends method just once as making my intentions known in a well crated manner from the very first day has never ever fail me.
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by specialguest(f): 3:04pm On Apr 14, 2013
ypzilanti: You should always let ur intentions be known early enough. When you ask a woman out on a one on one date, she basically already knows what you have in mind. If she goes on a first date with you, make sure you get a second date by being great company and engaging her well during the date. Naija women can go on first date to 'chop your money' but if you are not thier type, they will usually spare you and themselves a second date.

Second date, find an appropriate time to state your intentions in a natural manner. Something simple like 'I like you a lot. I enjoy being with you and would like us to see each other more often'. On second date, make sure you get more personal in your gist: relationships, boyfriend/girlfriend tinz, aspirations etc. If she went out with you the second time, she probably likes you, so relax and enjoy your date. After the second date, if things went well, the lady would be more serious in calling you back immediately, replying text messages etc. By after third date, she would have called you on her own to check up on you without prompting. Once you get her first unscheduled phone call, you are in business.

Oya op, send money to my account for free advice gained from over two decades of chasing Naija women.

Hmmn, i learnt 'something' from your post. Thankx
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by sage2(m): 3:05pm On Apr 14, 2013
Br3nd4:

Thats cos you crossed the 'thin line' between being a friend and a brother.. Girls are very tactical. When ure being friends, it gets to a point where she cant do without you, always wanna be around you etc. These are signs that she obviously wants more than friendship. Now if you, the guy, wants to be more than friends, you should pick these signs and ask her out. Once she passes this stage, believe me you would forever remain in the friendzone cos she feels she's made her crush obvious and you didnt act on it cos u didnt like her. You've become her brother grin and nobody kisses their brother *in Zainab Sheriff's voice* who does that

That's where things get irretrievably bad for the guy. A point where all hopes are lost. No sane man, who attended a mixed boarding school, will allow things get to this point.
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by lolaluv1(f): 3:12pm On Apr 14, 2013
A few months ago I was so sure being friends first is the best.
Now, I think all that matters is meeting the right person (friend or not) and taking things slow. Most times, a perfect friend does not a perfect boyfriend make.

Strangers can become intimate friends, and friends can quickly become strangers.

But whether you start as friends or not, nurture and keep that element of friendship. It'll serve you well when the going gets tough.


All in all I'd say; keep an open mind.

4 Likes

Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by BizBloke(m): 3:19pm On Apr 14, 2013
lola.luv:
A few months ago I was so sure being friends first is the best.
Now, I think all that matters is to meeting the right person (friend or not) and taking things slow. A perfect friend does not a perfect boyfriend make.

Strangers can become intimate friends, and friends can quickly become strangers.

I'd say; keep an open mind.
Hmmm...interesting and on point. U be philosopher?
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by dino2006(m): 3:30pm On Apr 14, 2013
Temismith: Start as friendships o!

Huh?
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by alaricsaltzman: 3:31pm On Apr 14, 2013
vivian chinaza: As for me, start as friends but give me a clue of ur intention once in a while so that I don't "friend zone" you (that's if I like you). The reason is friendship is a surer way of having this amazing guy in my life like forever and I wouldn't want to ruin that. So, if a guy comes too close to me (as completely just friends) and he is this great guy, I'm gonna fall in love with him so bad that I'd want him in my life for a long time, and friendship is a surer way. It would really hurt me to fall in love, and fall out of love and we would become enemies. That could
really suck for me.

So yea, let's be friends but chip in ur intentions once in a while.
I agree with u on this based on personal experience...there are gals who decline datin guys they probably love for 2 reasons...
1) They av a boyfriend
2) They av grown so close 2 d guy they can't afford 2 lose him and the only way they can achieve that is thru friendship...cos rships(no matter ow the love is) will most likely lead 2 heartbreaks and frndship btw them mite become hatred...
I believe gals value frndship a lot and can do anyfin even if it means tellin a guy they obviously love they can't date him(auto-friendzone)

1 Like

Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by vokalguy(m): 3:38pm On Apr 14, 2013
5alive: i cant comprehend anytin from this thread......































































































































































































Am out

How will you comprehend anything when you have the brain of a 2 year old.... dumb a$$.

Anyway back to the topic, When I meet a girl an d I like her, I let my actions do the talking, the vibe I get will determine if we will stay friends or take it further. BTW someone please tell me guys don't go telling girls "I LOVE YOU" a few days after meeting them. That word 'love' seems to be a word most guys think they can use to get in a girls pants... Well hey it MIGHT work for some girls but lets be honest it could go both ways; the girl might be uncomfortable talking to you as you seem to be on page 10 when she has barely opened the book OR she might be one of those vulnerable ones who catches feelings pretty fast, sleeps with you and stalks the hell out of your life, after all you claim to LOVE her!
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by kedukc(m): 3:39pm On Apr 14, 2013
Asking someone to go out with you from the outset is weird..

Unless you're looking for a hit and run, in that case let body language be your guide.

Heck every move is a venture not a matter of life and death so don't overthink things.

1 Like

Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by Nobody: 3:41pm On Apr 14, 2013
Both. Acting as friends comes or should come naturally,is comely and declaring intentions hastingly or rashly could jeopadise good intentions but could also work out fine. Body language should do the trick.
But i know some err would'nt mind the declaration of intention from the onset if the percieve the odour of materialism....never mind me jare...
Re: Start As Friends Or Declare Your Intentions From Start? by dino2006(m): 3:49pm On Apr 14, 2013
[quote author=fitzmayowa][/quote]

I knew a moro.n was going to quote dat imbecil.e.

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