JOKLEVIZ: start wif frndshp datz d simpliest way of being inresistable to ha, bt on the other hand only a cheap nd desperate gal wil fall 4u on relatinshp at first.

You are just ignorant.... Majority of girls want a sincere guy who makes his intentions known right from onset.
I got married to my wife after dating for 5 yrs, I was in year 3 when she entered year 1 in same faculty, we met in the library, we disagreed over an issue, later met again in her class, I couldn't sleep coz I was thinking of her. I told after some months that I love her and I will want us to be friends more than just school mates, she was 23 then.... She told me categorically that she was not interested..... And she started avoiding me.
In my final year and in her 3rd year as we did a five yr course, I called her many times and she refused to answer ....... Then one day, after stalking her for years, I caught her reading alone in her class late in evening, I walked up to her having made up my mind that she is the one and told her that I love her and will be glad if we can work something out towards being together forever. I told her my mind,.....
She then looked at me the way she never did and said....... That will be a very difficult courtship as we are both still students, I told her yes and that if we are true, the difficulty will make our relationship stronger....... That is how we started our 5 years courtship and today... We are happily married.
Plus both of us graduated with the best grades available in our respective sets.

The truth is there is not rule if u are sincere, friendship might be a deceptive word of convenience to allow u freedom of adventure..... But if u want true relationship, u have to be sincere from onset.
Courtship and friendship are also not the same..... One is responsible while the other is a tool used for ''counting census''

This is the problem why most relationship/marriages are crashing, we don't think about marriage when we are entering a relationship, if we do then we should know starting with friendship is very necessary!

imperiouxx:

God bless you sis!

Amen. Bless you too

IbukaDantata: You are just ignorant.... Majority of girls want a sincere guy who makes his intentions known right from onset.
I got married to my wife after dating for 5 yrs, I was in year 3 when she entered year 1 in same faculty, we met in the library, we disagreed over an issue, later met again in her class, I couldn't sleep coz I was thinking of her. I told after some months that I love her and I will want us to be friends more than just school mates, she was 23 then.... She told me categorically that she was not interested..... And she started avoiding me.
In my final year and in her 3rd year as we did a five yr course, I called her many times and she refused to answer ....... Then one day, after stalking her for years, I caught her reading alone in her class late in evening, I walked up to her having made up my mind that she is the one and told her that I love her and will be glad if we can work something out towards being together forever. I told her my mind,.....
She then looked at me the way she never did and said....... That will be a very difficult courtship as we are both still students, I told her yes and that if we are true, the difficulty will make our relationship stronger....... That is how we started our 5 years courtship and today... We are happily married.
Plus both of us graduated with the best grades available in our respective sets.

The truth is there is not rule if u are sincere, friendship might be a deceptive word of convenience to allow u freedom of adventure..... But if u want true relationship, u have to be sincere from onset.
Courtship and friendship are also not the same..... One is responsible while the other is a tool used for ''counting census''

Thanks man, your story is so inspiring wish others can learn from your post.

The biggest mistake a guy will make with a girl he wants to lay is to be her friend . It will never lead you anywhere but to the friendzone, and the moment she sees you as a friend, all atractions she might have for you will be gone. TRUST ME ON THAT.

And all the ladies here telling you to first be a friend. Let me ask the Op, will you ask a deer how to hunt? That deer will give you the exact instructions to failure. Same thing with women, They all want there lives to be like the romantic chick flicks they watch, but in reality it never works. That's why women will tell you to be a gentleman, start with friendship first(cuz they watched it on the movie when Harry met Sally, and actually think that it will work in real life ). Funny thing is though, you might follow all the advice women will give you, but will be shocked to find yourself in her friendzone, but yet the guy that doesn't follow the rules, the guy that doesn't care about her feelings will be the guy getting all the good stuff . To the Op, if your intention is innocent and marriage is what you're looking for, then by all means start with friendship, Other than that any woman that tells you to start with friendship first tell her you have enough friends and ........ is exactly what you want

Who are we? women
what do we want? we don't know
When do we want it? NOW
Thats women for ya

Both has worked for me several times and will continue to work for me.
Lobatan.

strangest: Make the money first and you can start anywhere you want.. Imagine inviting her over to your own yatch, she won't want to go home again.. A lot of them love good things

guy u jst said my mind wit mony u cn meet ha 2day knw ha 2day nd knack ha akpako 2day

What is wrong wit guys,after seeing tins dat happen around,you still tink of love.Seek money first then every other way will work for you,Money will make her love you b4 you love her.SEEK MONEY.no money no love.Life without money is HELL.I dey tell you o.A word is enough for the wise

you are the best technical adviser,with your advice no mad man or woman needs psychiatric hospital.[color=#990000][/color]

uj_sizzle: There's just no predicting what women want or like. Different things work for different people, so you'll be safer studying your subject before applying either.
If you have an issue asking your friends out, then you may want to try telling the girl of your intentions outright. Don't be too quick about it though. Let her get used to the idea that you plan on staying around for quite some time but don't let her get too comfortable around you or you could be classified in the friend zone faster than you ever imagined. While at it, try giving her the impression that you have a not so friendly interest in her(yes, girls can always tell when a guy wants to ask them out).
Then go in for the kill once you've familiarized yourself with what irks and ticks her.
And please oo keep reminding yourself she is not your friend, she's a girl you want to date...this way you end up not being the one friend zoning her.

strangest: Make the money first and you can start anywhere you want.. Imagine inviting her over to your own yatch, she won't want to go home again.. A lot of them love good things

Untill then....

ITbomb:
That is a lady speaking but there is always a greater danger of finding yourself in the dreaded 'friendship zone'.
Tactful approach needed

friend zone is something of a myth; one can always hook up with an old crush; that chick that used to give you a hard time... Even if she's hitched. Your game gotta be surreal tho. And I ain't talking of cheddar.. See, we're all humans, we all got some soft spots and if you hit mine, i'd melt for sure.

kedukc:

See, we're all humans, we all got some soft spots and if you hit mine, i'd melt for sure.

Can u pls give me a hint on those soft spots, amma hit someone.

Never start as a friend except you want her as a friend only. Make your intentions known from the start. There are many ways of letting her know that you want more than friendship from her

djeezy: Some girls are just good at friend zoning guys. So for me, it's just an amalgam of both. Starting as friends whilst I still give you inklings and hunch of my hidden agenda. If she already digs you, starting as friends might just piss her off. Observation really matters.

Guy your oyinbo na baba o...lol...you a made a good point though.

It pays to start as friends, at least from my experience. My current gf is a rare one. We started talking and got to know more about each other. After 2 weeks or so, she was like, dude what exactly do you want? Cos she can't afford to LOVE UP and I decide to stay in the friend zone. The rest is history.

@dsb "wat exactly dyu want!?" kai, d silly questions women ask. Like she ddnt know.. @dantata ur relationship cud hav begun many many years earlier but for d girly games ur then-babe was playing..

One should make intentions of a relationship as soon as possible. This may be direct or indirect. Direct may be verbal, writing or postcards. Indirect by eating out, expressing intimacy by attempting a kiss or petting, sex (most girls do not believe there is a relationship if no sex or attempt at sex on the man's part) This should have been preceded by a few days of close friendship - visits, calls, talking, sharing future plans, jokes etc.

Too much delay up to 4-12weeks without any expression of intimacy sends the wrong message of lack of love for her or that you just want a friend or too shy to express your love, and this can kill relationship growth. If intimacy expression is rejected then try again and again till you can decide -stay as a friend only or move. But avoid intimacy expression the first day of meeting her -wrong step, may scare girl off.

This approach works for most girls. It's just some feel intimacy too early but you can keep trying. Overall early expression of your intention of a relationship is better way to go.

MsDarkSkin:

^^gbam.

@topic: it depends.
some people can meet and take it to the next level early and still have long lasting relationships...though i am MORE than sure these relationships end badly or have lots of issues that arise in the end.

others prefer to know the person really well. they'd make efforts to establish a friendship by knowing what they have in common, knowing what are the dos/don'ts and move from there before they put all of their eggs into that one basket.

i think the latter is the best option. The healthiest relationships are when the Lovers are each other's best friends. You don't have to be longtime/childhood friends for this to work. Simply taking the time to "study" each other and seeing how compatible you are is all it takes.

h

Risk of falling into the friendship zone is real here. You may need to indicate some degree of indirect intimacy to keep your chances up.

iv4real: Its better you declare your intentions from the start, but take things slow, get to know each other. If u go as a friend, my dear once you are kept in that friend zone, you will always remain there.The only time u will be upgraded to boyfriend is if the girl has no boyfriend, potential boyfriend or chyker. You will be the last resort when she has nothing going on for her.

Gbam!!

sage_:

Praise the Lord! Who would have thought that we still have great thinkers on Nairaland?

Waiting to buy a yacht or private jet before getting a girlfriend? Hmmmm....you may wait till the cows come home and your nuts shrunken!!!

Orikinla: Sometimes start as friends and gradually and politely express yourself for an intimate relationship if you are looking for a long term relationship. But if you just want a sex partner, just tell him or her that's what you want.

If I just want to fork her, I tell her right away.
I met one girl on Friday and laid her on Monday and ended the sex affair within a month. I am not even sure if I will still recognize her today.

Perhaps that's what she wanted from you too! She may not recognize you today.

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Post removed

ITbomb:
Can u pls give me a hint on those soft spots, amma hit someone.

no wound person pikin abeg.

*exits backstage*

..

Y TASTE WHAT U ARE NOT GOING TO EAT?
COUNTRY PEOPLE, A MAN IS D ARCHICTET OF HIS OWN PROBLEMS DESPITE D FACT DAT THERE ARE SOME PROBLEMS WE CAN AVOID.
WELL, NEVA MIND COZ I‘M TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE AS MINE IS A VERY GOOD CASE STYDY...

specialguest:

Hmmn, i learnt 'something' from your post. Thankx

You are welcome. The knowledge did not come easy. Every man that knows anything about women knows that getting stuck in 'friendzone' is the worst thing that can happen to a man who is looking for an intimate relationship with a woman. What men do not understand is that once you are stuck in 'friendzone' the woman can't even imagine being nakkked around you. The thought of kissing you is like 'eeewww'. It's like kissing her brother.

Ask yourself: can you genuinely be REAL friends with a woman that you are plotting to sleep with or date? Is the definition of friendship not honesty? I have many female friends and I am not interested in dating any of them. Those that i intend to date, I tell early and get accepted or screened out early enough. True friendship comes naturally without either party hoping for anything other than the others company. If a friendship starts naturally and develops to something else, then it's ok. But you do not go into a 'friendship' with the baggage of hoping to fulfill dating ambitions. Its a recipe for disaster. You will sit there listening to her relationship issues with other guys. In fact you may be there for years as other guys come and go while you are the shoulder that is cried on. Good luck with that. Many guys found themselves in this 'friendzone' unknowingly. Do not EVER walk into that zone with eyes open. It can be a slow death.

Dayco: Nawao! What of people wey no cm get time 4 women again? As i dey read una posts, e just d amuse me. Women are not in my dictionary. I love to associate with them, but never go intimacy! They pull me down spiritually and that makes me act like I'm not myself. I rather stay clear like my mama warned me! Making and enjoying my money with my guys!

so like ure gäy or sumfin

Br3nd4: so like ure gäy or sumfin

Yup. He's gay.

Solozzo:

Waiting to buy a yacht or private jet before getting a girlfriend? Hmmmm....you may wait till the cows come home and your nuts shrunken!!!

Do not mind the low confidence dudes that post that crap and smile to themselves like they have posted anything that makes sense.

If you have a job that pays you even N100,000 in Nigeria and you cannot get a girlfriend, the problem is inside YOU! No yacht and private jet is going to help you, because you are probably a boring low confidence goon with nothing to contribute to any woman's life apart from your money.

If NO ONE ever wanted to be with you until you had money, then it means that EVERYONE around you when you have money is only there for the CASH.

You will indeed have the women around you then, but do not be surprised that once you are out of town, she will sneak to the house of a dude she finds interesting...a dude with nothing else apart from a JOB and a DICKKK.

Anyway, let them keep consoling themselves that money is the reason that no one wants their boring azzes.

Declare your intentions shortly after the start so that you don't end up wasting precious time on an already-hooked-up lady.

Ladies love attention and wouldn't mind having as many mugus as possible mill around them and massage her ego even though they are already engaged.

They need you mugus to keep the main man on his toes.

Beware!

Don't be a mugu or 'nice guy'!!

DSB: It pays to start as friends, at least from my experience. My current gf is a rare one. We started talking and got to know more about each other. After 2 weeks or so, she was like, dude what exactly do you want? Cos she can't afford to LOVE UP and I decide to stay in the friend zone. The rest is history.

She's really a rare gf...some gals, mayb cos of fear of mistaking intent or pride don't ask what guys want frm them...she ends up friendzonin d guy whereas d guy cos of fear of rejection loves d gal but can't ask 4 anyfin more and ends up comin 2 NL 2 seek 4 advice...I believe communication matas btw the pple involved...
Now...does ur rare gf av any rare female friends??