Slimzy baby:

hahahaha...everyone is now a judge..wow!

Does it mean nobody on dis thread hav cheated before??...smh!

2buff: Guys, If you're dating someone and they out of the blue ask for a break... Or look for petty reasons to justify asking for a break, then you can be 99.9999% sure that another person is in the picture... And you will always be compared.

You at that point best start detaching yourself. I.e if you're going to start comparing 2BUFF to any other dude, then you don't deserve to be with 2BUFF

naijathings:

Please do not judge her ohh.. she slept and woke up to find herself riding dirty on the Married man's dicccck. it is not her fault at all.

alutacontinua: The op actually made a point...'NEVER SAY NEVER'. Her thread still makes sense than a lot of threads out there cos there is actually something to learn. I'm not justifying the fact that she cheated with a married man and she didn't justify it too, so far.

And trust me, ogugua and others, 'NEVER SAY NEVER'!!!

debosky: Judgmental folk: get off your soap box for a moment and learn a lesson from the OP.

She isn't 'justifying' what she did. She is simply saying that - like many of you - she felt it would never happen to her. This is a very important lesson.

It can happen - that's the point of the thread, even to those who consider themselves 'above' such mistakes.

Even those holding on to virginity as a shield are not immune.

She's already broken off the relationship, as well as taking a break from the bf to clear her head. She cannot unphock the married man, so all your condemnation will not change a thing.

nous:

All she is trying to say is, let he that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he falls (It is in the Bible)

Richfella: Lol at responses .

@ OP

When it's all sunshine and roses, it's easy for us to make grand promises and pledge allegiances.

Very few persons can really rightly predict what they would do when shít hits the fan.

Beneath our thin veneer of intellect and morality is a MASSIVE animal core. That was your inner cavewoman shinning through all the social 'programming' you've been exposed to all your life.

Don't beat up yourself.

Now, you have a better understanding of 'yourself' and others too. You're now less judgemental and have an increased tolerance for other people's supposed 'excesses'.

ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD .

Bobajo: People of high moral standing all over this thread!!! I am so impressed. But please consider:

1. If my deduction is correct, Poster is at least 26/27

2. She has been dating a boyfriend for 4+ years without lovemaking

3. They stay in different towns

4. She confidently says she has always been of high moral standard, so i assume she probably has had at the most, 2 boyfriends, including the current bf

All the above taken together is a disaster waiting to happen relationship wise. Mature lady with all the hormones raging at intervals, long courtship that has grown stale, distance and over confidence..

Mr Experience comes along knowing all the right buttons to press, and seemingly appearing not to be in a hurry to conquer (married men have the benefit of not been 'desperate' for intimacy like young, unmarried folks). It's almost a given the moment she started talking to the guy for any appreciable length of time that she will fall into this error.

I honestly wont hit her on the head for her error as long as she puts a full stop to the affair immediately. Shit happens. It cant be undone. She should cut Mr Experience off totally, as in totally.

And somebody says she should tell boyfriend/fiancee. Really? To what end? The boy wont feel less bad even if he knows that the breakup is because she messed up. He probably will even feel worse. Secondly, that will be 4+ years wasted for both of them. OP, please keep your mouth shut, make your peace with God, ensure you don't invest any time with any other guy apart from your bf/fiancee and marry your man.

And to all the hardliners crucifying her; good luck in your long and interesting life. I personally have seen too much and experienced too much to know that absolutism of any kind usually just don't work. Humans will always make mistakes. Even Angels did circa Lucifer. 'We fall sometimes, we pick ourselves up, we look at what made us fall and learn not to trip on that same obstruction'. Saying you will never fall.... good luck with that

freecocoa: I don't judge the OP for cheating or whatever(that's not my business)my annoyance is coming here and acting as if what happened was beyond her control thereby justifying what she did.

True it can happen to anybody but definitely not everybody, OP obviously didn't know herself as well as she thought, there are people who will not cheat even with a gun pointed at them.

You gave in doesn't mean every other person would give in, the OP sounds like she's the best person there ever can be, mscheew.

Jenams: my dear, av noticed wit keen interest d way u make other people's issue ur daily business on nairaland. Pls is it a job? I asked so I can also apply. (Lol) Tnx

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

freecocoa: Are you sure you are mentally alright? Answer the question and we'll take it from there.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break.

As far as I'm concerned, cheating is one of the worst forms of disrespect to a partner or spouse, and people who cheat are discontented and highly undisciplined human beings. There is such a thing as self-control. In your case, it's not that you lost control, but that you know what's right and wrong and have chosen to do wrong on more than one occasion. You are giving yourself to another woman's husband. What does marriage even mean to you, if anything at all? I'm assuming you want to get married one day. Isn't marriage a sacred union that people are supposed to hold at high regard? If you're disrespecting and desecrating another woman's union, what makes you think yours should even be average, let alone sweet?

How on earth could you even take a break with your boyfriend? If you loved him at all, you wouldn't even consider leaving him for another woman's husband. You told him you need a break as if you're the one that's being hurt. Add the word "selfish" along with discontented and highly undisciplined please.

You are not just wrong, but double wrong. If you have any ounce of morality left in you, come clean with your boyfriend and let him go. I wonder what he's done to deserve having an adulterer as a girlfriend.

And we wonder why STDs are rampant. Shey na 2013? Smh.[/size]

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

aniiii: this thread smells like my phart

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

biolabee:

I like this... I think that core is called the ID

WackyJ1:
now you've pondered and pondered...
What are you going to do about what you have done? Your boyfriend is out there now wondering what's wrong with your relationship? And guys are out there telling him that you've probably cheated on him and some guy is disturbing you which we know is true but it's 4 YEARS of NO Mistake, he'll be telling his guys she can't do that, i trust my babe, she is this and that. Not knowing he is currently a fool and that a married man with something solid somewhere has collected what he thought was his... Since you cheating cannot cross his mind he's there thinking that there is something he did now...
You'll now eat your cake, learn your lesson and return to your man like that..
You're now part of the reason why guys advise their buddies to always a guy to have a backup and why guys who don't have are fools.
Yes. Your boyfriend has been made a fool of by you and a MARRIED man...
Where is the love

Idowuogbo:
U called?

SAFO: Hey guys, I just stole a Monster energy drink from the store. Never stole anything in my life, I'm perplexed. Wow never thought this could happen to me, I'm in shock.

Don't ever say this couldn't happen to you because this could be you too.

freecocoa: you dey mind them?abegi.

freecocoa: you dey mind them?abegi.