chukkynwob: Please oh before we murder the OP...he without sin shpuld cast the first stone,

Being judgemental won't help.

Toks2008: I am tired of reading these type of stories abeg.

The point is that whether you are just dating or married to anyone, expect heartbreak anytime. Trust nobody. LOVE DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD EXCEPT GOD'S TRUE LOVE.

Get married because it is necessary but expect any crazy act from your spouse at any time.

Lets be real. This thing called L.O.V.E is a facade.

braxjay: Dear Aleovera,

you deserve to be cheated, frustrated in every relationship, and more importantly, u deserve to have your hubby in future ripped apart by younger hot babes for you lack of focus.

yours sincerely
braxjay

fpeter: .......LET HIM/HER THAT IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE 1ST STONE

Jonwesley: First of all the op to me is a guy, from the manner in which the story was presented and just looking for a way to create a conversation. Even though cheating can happen depending on the choices we make, any body with the set of values as described cannot behave so let alone decides to ask for a break from the relationship. It's alien to me, my mind anyway or whateverrrrrrrrr.

naijathings: instead of making it look presentable and pretty by saying You cheated on your boyfriend with a married man..
why don't you come out and really say it how it is..
[size=18pt]YOU FURCKED A MARRIED MAN WHILE YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS NOT WATCHING.[/size]

better..
thats what it really is.

so now you might as well tell us how long you have been furcking the married man, how you sneak into hotels or did u furck him on his matrimonial bed? did you enjoy it? when last you guys did it and how you manage to hide from the wife and kids ... and all the lies you tell your boyfriend when he suspects.. at least, let us learn something from you too. okay.. keep talking.

abi no be so?

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous
attitude!

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]No, you truly don't understand. If you're cheating with a married man, then you don't understand. Put yourself in the man's wife shoes. If they have children, put yourself in their shoes as well. Then, consider the implications of all of them finding out.
We get it. There are men who cheat. There are married men who cheat. That's a fact of life. However, just because he wants to be stupid doesn't mean you should follow him and be stupid. If you have any self-worth, then you wouldn't stoop so low.

I didn't misunderstand you. You said you cheated on your partner with a married man and took a break from your current boyfriend. I don't think it gets any more explicit than that. What is there to reevaluate? You don't love your boyfriend if you're hiding this from him and telling yourself you've fallen in love with another woman's husband.

If you have no intention of stealing someone else's husband, then cut your ties with him and face your own partner. I know what you or anyone else will say. "It's not that simple". Of course it's not that simple. Why? For one of two reasons. Either because you don't know what you want, or because you want the two of them simultaneously.

Make your choice. The options are actually crystal clear.[/size]

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]No, you truly don't understand. If you're cheating with a married man, then you don't understand. Put yourself in the man's wife shoes. If they have children, put yourself in their shoes as well. Then, consider the implications of all of them finding out.
We get it. There are men who cheat. There are married men who cheat. That's a fact of life. However, just because he wants to be stupid doesn't mean you should follow him and be stupid. If you have any self-worth, then you wouldn't stoop so low.

I didn't misunderstand you. You said you cheated on your partner with a married man and took a break from your current boyfriend. I don't think it gets any more explicit than that. What is there to reevaluate? You don't love your boyfriend if you're hiding this from him and telling yourself you've fallen in love with another woman's husband.

If you have no intention of stealing someone else's husband, then cut your ties with him and face your own partner. I know what you or anyone else will say. "It's not that simple". Of course it's not that simple. Why? For one of two reasons. Either because you don't know what you want, or because you want the two of them simultaneously.

Make your choice. The options are actually crystal clear.[/size]

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous
attitude!

Aleovera: I really do feel a lot better. Guess I didn't know how much weight I have been carrying around. Thank you MrbrownJay and Wacky. Your opinions are highly valued. Ogugua thanks too. Your response was just the harsh truth I needed to hear.

I am going to do the right thing and keep you guys posted.

hardbody: You are right and most times really you are spot on.

However, i dislike your high moral standing especially when one has admitted to being in error and is more or less seeking help (as it were).

Admitting to a crime is one thing, seeking to make amends is another. that is why in law we have what they call 'Plea of Allocutus'. It allows a judge to look at the circumstances, your demeanour, mien and carriage in the course of the trial and determine how remorseful you are or have become and may then choose to temper justice with mercy. Please cut this OP a slack. She needs help not vituperative darts of words.

Richfella:

Bros, easy o. E be like your babe finish you too .

Oliverpat.:
She was calling for a detailed information how she can get out the hook not being baised. poeple in such circumstance should be able to give her a good guide line for her to unhook herself. Let her post and help her simple...she is so desparate to unhook herself out from the MARRIED MAN.

Jastombutex11:

A cheat will always support another Cheat. Now u can stone yourself at least

ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break.

As far as I'm concerned, cheating is one of the worst forms of disrespect to a partner or spouse, and people who cheat are discontented and highly undisciplined human beings. There is such a thing as self-control. In your case, it's not that you lost control, but that you know what's right and wrong and have chosen to do wrong on more than one occasion. You are giving yourself to another woman's husband. What does marriage even mean to you, if anything at all? I'm assuming you want to get married one day. Isn't marriage a sacred union that people are supposed to hold at high regard? If you're disrespecting and desecrating another woman's union, what makes you think yours should even be average, let alone sweet?

How on earth could you even take a break with your boyfriend? If you loved him at all, you wouldn't even consider leaving him for another woman's husband. You told him you need a break as if you're the one that's being hurt. Add the word "selfish" along with discontented and highly undisciplined please.

You are not just wrong, but double wrong. If you have any ounce of morality left in you, come clean with your boyfriend and let him go. I wonder what he's done to deserve having an adulterer as a girlfriend.

And we wonder why STDs are rampant. Shey na 2013? Smh.[/size]