mysticgal: oh God deliver any man that would raise up his cotton wool hand to touch me

Na your type dey cool as ice block

swag queen:



Its in him.he said the only language women understand is violence. He even bragged about beating up a girl in U.K.

Your husband is a maniac and should be treated as one. When you come in contact with a maniac, u RUN!!. Heaven forbid, dont make the next headline on NL reads ''Woman strangled to death by her husband''.

mysticgal: why do i think this story is a script

not a script oooo, things happen. it happened to me.

When you marry for the wrong reasons, these are examples of what you get. Don't mean to add salt to your injuries but judging from the case of the 'lawyer' what kept you from working was because your husband is 'super' rich and you felt you are in your 'promised' land. If u had married a struggling man, i bet something go don dey ya account na..... The truth is bitter we are the architect if our own problems...... But my candid advice is to bear your cross cos now you are married. Take a stand against the beatings by reporting him to authorities. But leaving your matrimonial home is what i don't support

ammyluv2002: Really? Don't say that rather pray you don't fall victim. ..most people in this situation don't even know what to do or where to start especially if there are kids involved. Also remember, that God hates divorce aside that most of them have 1001 reasons not to leave the marriage so you never can tell. Money isn't the only reason such women stay put only the foolish.

My dear I can never be in that situation, many of the women that suffer domestic violence are house wives. When u become a liability to a man,he gives you money for everything you also become his property. It takes a good man to respect a woman that doesn't bring a kobo and just takes from him,its irritating.

I'm sure God doesn't want to see you dead either, the best thing is to carry you kids and leave. imagine boys growing up in such homes,when they get married they will definitely treat their wives the way their mum was treated

showoff: not a script oooo, things happen. it happened to me.

How did you handle it?

jay bee: @Swag queen
So what do you want to do going forward?

I just can't stress enough why empowerment should be embedded deep into the skulls of all young teenage girls.

#WORD! Preach!

Nashville:

That is why moderators should watch the kind of stories they put on frontpage. Matured people on the family section were already advising her. Now that it's on frontpage, little children like you are also commenting. Moderators, please take off frontpage please. Stuff like this is only for matured minds not for little children from the village.

Nah, this has a lot to do with psychological issues not maturity. Even a 5yr old kid knows that violence and abuse is bad.
Do you know his family background?? Do you the sort of relationship he has with his mother?? Do you know if his father still beats his mother on a daily basis?? Do you know how he has been taught to view women or how his mother has raised him to think himself superior than his sisters??

He is not childish, that is an insult to children.

ballabriggs: My friend Efe is also going through emotional and physical abuse in his marriage.

Any advice for him please?

Tell him to report his wife to her parents and take immediate action to stop it. How can a woman beat her husband? It is as bad as the other. Shameless woman.

mysticgal: why do i think this story is a script

Mysticgal,I'm only praying that you don't meet my kind of husband. One day,he was shouting at me in his usual way and my 2 yr old daughter said "mum, don't mind daddy.if he beats you,I'll beat him!)

He banned me from having access to the internet when my elder sister prepared a c.v for me and sent to my email addy.he has my passwords but i don't have his and don't wanna know either.

Can i share my story too?

mysticgal: why do i think this story is a script

Most tales in this section are scripts but the painful truth is that it is often someone else's reality. So no harm treating them all as truth.

swag queen:


Mysticgal,I'm only praying that you don't meet my kind of husband. One day,he was shouting at me in his usual way and my 2 yr old daughter said "mum, don't mind daddy.if he beats you,I'll beat him!)

He banned me from having access to the internet when my elder sister prepared a c.v for me and sent to my email addy.he has my passwords but i don't have his and don't wanna know either.

I have told you to send me your CV!

gosh

To those ladies who had experienced one abuse or the other i must say i trully feel for you,nevertheless i'd like young Ladies and married women to love praying for their future or present husbands...future husband-Ladies u'll have to be open to God and very close to him so that he would direct ur paths into going into marriage,see life is not all about fantasy there are REAL MEN out there but u av to stop all dis wordliness before u can see them.

Nashville:

I have told you to send me your CV!

Pls hold on Der me pls.thanks.will send it asap

Laja Laba: Can i share my story too?

pls share with us.let's draw strength from one another.

swag queen:


Mysticgal,I'm only praying that you don't meet my kind of husband. One day,he was shouting at me in his usual way and my 2 yr old daughter said "mum, don't mind daddy.if he beats you,I'll beat him!)

He banned me from having access to the internet when my elder sister prepared a c.v for me and sent to my email addy.he has my passwords but i don't have his and don't wanna know either.

Hmmmn .....Ok what do you want to do going forward?

i have heard of this types of marriage,seen them with my korokoro eye,i can't even dream of letting an insane mad man touch me,i will will definately tear his heart from his back and implant it on his chest lobatan

Nashville:

That is why moderators should watch the kind of stories they put on frontpage. Matured people on the family section were already advising her. Now that it's on frontpage, little children like you are also commenting. Moderators, please take off frontpage please. Stuff like this is only for matured minds not for little children from the village.

Yes!! Clap for yourself!! Mr matured mind from Zion, advanced in age, full of grey hair and infinite in wisdom.

Yet the best advise you could come up with was run away..

Old mor*n

mysticgal: i have heard of this types of marriage,seen them with my korokoro eye,i can't even dream of letting an insane mad man touch me,i will will definately tear his heart from his back and implant it on his chest lobatan

*yawns* Noise

sorrystories.com! I will not mind standing as the bad guy but i'll drop my 2 cents.

Any matured mind will know, it is wrong to listen to one side of a story, especially the WOMAN'S side. Laced with tears and self-righteousness, a woman WILL never say what REALLY triggered the abuse. I AM AGAINST ANY FORM FORM OF ABUSE but some men are not particularly diplomatic or patient. The woman must have seen these traits during courtship and early parts of the marriage yet they still dont know how to handle thier man.

Men who exhibit "abusive" traits are usually victims of extremely strict upbringing, where perfection is required at all times or they've been played by women (ex-girlfriends). Men like this will transfer this "discipline" or pain to his household if that part of him is triggered.

I grew up in a home where my Dad constantly abused my mom verbally,he'd leave the house for months but he made sure we had more than enough. I grew up hating him and this hate remains but even as a child i knew MY MOM WAS USUALLY THE CAUSE ! (RIP to her soul but she was the cause). She was forgetful and careless and he was a perfectionist. her carelessness caused a fire that burned our house and 2 houses on our street (and this is is one of the many things)
There must be days ur husband is sincerely loving and "normal". Ask him what you do that pisses him off and after that, tell him you will change but he has to stop the abuses for the sake of the kids. (asking what pisses him off works like magic)

I have talked too much..and its a sign of the end times!

Thank Goodness for this thread.

I know someone who might benefit from the advice on this thread, so please @Debrief, @Chaircover et al please respond to this particular post of mine.

The lady is almost 50 and been married for about 30 years. She's been thoroughly abused by her husband and he even brought a wife in with which he's got two children and they all lived together in that house. Now she's out on her own, finance not a problem in the least.
Her problem now is, how people will view her, she's a church official even(the only thing she loves more than her children is God) and how and where to start from.
From what she told my cousins(her children), she doesn't know what next to do, how to live on her own, alone, with nobody with her-her children are grown and only one lives with her. She's apparently scared of the loneliness. Abeg, how she take resolve her issues?
Thanks, in advance.

swag queen:

Pls hold on Der me pls.thanks.will send it asap

Be carefull. More predators male and female are waiting for you to fall into their hands! I repeat, be careful. All that glitters is not gold!You are a perfect target in your vulnerable state to lesbians and other devious men. A word is enough for the wise!

You said violence has always been in him. So you why did you marry him? Probably because he was a money bag? You are part of the problem!You wanted a ready made man. You don Jam!

xynerise:
*yawns* Noise

antelope this is not noise oh i dont intend staying put and a man from God knows where starts beating me,surely me and him would reach hospital together with wound

Donjazzy12: Be carefull. More predators male and female are waiting for you to fall into their hands! I repeat, be careful. All that glitters is not gold!You are a perfect target in your vulnerable state to lesbians and other devious men. A word is enough for the wise!

You said violence has always been in him. So you why did you marry him? Probably because he was a money bag? You are part of the problem!You wanted a ready made man. You don Jam!

Oh dear Lord, where are these people from? Are you for real?

Bludeville: OP,I think maybe you should widen this for all form's of abuse, because in your writeup you specified spousal abuse, there by excluding others like widows abused by spouse's family, or even young ladies who have been victims of sexual abuse by relatives., doesn't have to be violence only.... just a thought

Yes, supported.

Present husband: I want u to know that u are already married to him and till death u are expected to be with him,u can leave him if u see and feel he'll commit murder someday (kill u),leaving doesnt mean u have the right to marry or date someone else NO,if u notice any evil nature in him (pls and pls dont hate him he is not the one you should hate it is the evil act/sin that u should hate) u dont av any right to deny him ur warmth except you are undergoing spiritual exercise...now if ur husband is becoming a terror it is simple go on ur knees and do it with all ur heart i mean dont hide anything from the Master it is only Christ that transforms and reforms an individual u cant do it on ur own after this u can contact the church,his family,good friends and other useful means but pls do all the above in Love and sincerity.

Deleted

mysticgal:


antelope this is not noise oh i dont intend staying put and a man from God knows where starts beating me,surely me and him would reach hospital together with wound

Story.

fresh dude am not sure God is in support of violence except dealing with satan,because he won't be happy seeing her home early,she has kids that enough reason to leave that mad niqqa called husband

dowjones: sorrystories.com! I will not mind standing as the bad guy but i'll drop my 2 cents.

Any matured mind will know, it is wrong to listen to one side of a story, especially the WOMAN'S side. Laced with tears and self-righteousness, a woman WILL never say what REALLY triggered the abuse. I AM AGAINST ANY FORM FORM OF ABUSE but some men are not particularly diplomatic or patient. The woman must have seen these traits during courtship and early parts of the marriage yet they still dont know how to handle thier man.

Men who exhibit "abusive" traits are usually victims of extremely strict upbringing, where perfection is required at all times or they've been played by women (ex-girlfriends). Men like this will transfer this "discipline" or pain to his household if that part of him is triggered.

I grew up in a home where my Dad constantly abused my mom verbally,he'd leave the house for months but he made sure we had more than enough. I grew up hating him and this hate remains but even as a child i knew MY MOM WAS USUALLY THE CAUSE ! (RIP to her soul but she was the cause). She was forgetful and careless and he was a perfectionist. her carelessness caused a fire that burned our house and 2 houses on our street (and this is is one of the many things)
There must be days ur husband is sincerely loving and "normal". Ask him what you do that pisses him off and after that, tell him you will change but he has to stop the abuses for the sake of the kids. (asking what pisses him off works like magic)

I have talked too much..and its a sign of the end times!

FINALLY........THE TRUTH!

Its really nauseating the way things have turned out. The issue is like nashville has said you need to get up and do something. You need to work on a strategy to get yourself up @ poster.

I asked about an NGO or something close to it, I think we need more selfless individuals who will come out to do something about issues like this. Though we do not really have a functional welfare system in Nigeria, I think its time the people demand for certain structures in our society. This man who bragged about beating a girl in the UK, If his wife were to be in the UK the story would not be the same.

All these people particularly female politicians and activists instead of multi-billion naira edifices, why not create a nation wide network of legal personnel addressing the issue of domestic violence in every state of the Federation?