armyofone:
Were you there analyst coogar, i thought the OP said they were both arguing.

both arguing?
you actually believe a man would deliberately start an argument, try to shut his wife up, park & start beating her? i am a critical thinker and i don't just swallow nonsense. if a story doesn't make sense, it's a lie 19 times out of 20.

K

coogar:

both arguing?
you actually believe a man would deliberately start an argument, try to shut his wife up, park & start beating her? i am a critical thinker and i don't just swallow nonsense. if a story doesn't make sense, it's a lie 19 times out of 20.

A man won't do it but you are doing it here and do it all the time. Maybe if I was standing with you and having some of the heated conversations we have had you would have hit me to teach me a lesson. In your world that makes perfect sense

soul_glo:

A man won't do it but you are doing it here and do it all the time. Maybe if I was standing with you and having some of the heated conversations we have had you would have hit me to teach me a lesson. In your world that makes perfect sense

my words are my weapon!
the punchlines are enough, men like me don't use hands on the weaker sëx.

coogar:

my words are my weapon!
the punchlines are enough, men like me don't use hands on the weaker sëx.

Only when it's convenient for me

It does not matter who was at fault in a case like this or who started it first, both of them were wrong, they both needed to control their anger. If you are trying to inculcate the right values into your children, teach them how to control themselves. Self control saves a lot.

There could be a possibility that such might re-occur again and again, in that marriage, since it was obviously not the first time. It is well o jare. This is just sad. Violence in marriages just has to be curtailed. It is not teaching the little ones the right values. We need to bring up very healthy, strong, loving kids (generation). The environment and parental upbringing plays a major role. We need laws to back up not just domestic violence in Nigeria, but violence also on the streets and even high ways.

soul_glo:

What will "gel" is treating someone with dignity and respect. So because he did not assault his wife he should get a medal? It is a sad day the day we start saying at least he did not beat her. At least he did not rape her. No wonder there are men who can blatantly beat their wives and say at least I am not sleeping around. Talk about setting the bar. There is no freaking bar

it goes both ways. The lady should control her mouth and the man should control his muscles.

ileobatojo:

Oh, I know that. I'm just wondering if you know what it means. In other words, how do you differentiate verbal abuse from a non abusive heated argument between spouses?

If the intention is to subdue, cause physical or psychological damage to another person, then it ceases to be just a case of differing opinions. It becomes abuse.

How did you make the distinction in this case based on the information provided?

When the man threatened to deal with her if she didn't keep quiet, why did dare him? She questioned his masculinity right in front of his children. Is there a possibility that the whole ugly incident would have been avoided if she had stopped talking at that point?

Well, there are a lot of things we don't we don't know about the story; we are guilty of jumping into conclusions.

Anyway, like I said earlier, I'm not about to start justifying what the man did to the lady, especially in front of the children. It was wrong.

yellowpawpaw: Here, a man drags a caustic woman out and beats her, ladies r screaming.
In another thread, instead of beating the lady, the husband decided to bundle her to her parents, ladies r screaming.
Hello ladies, werin dey happen naw. As this treatment no gel, the other one no gel, which one go gel now?
We too much.

We just can't win can we?

plendil:
We just can't win can we?

in the 21st century, being male alone makes one a criminal.

Amended

coogar:

in the 21st century, being black and male alone makes one a criminal.

plendil:

If the intention is to subdue, cause physical or psychological damage to another person, then it ceases to be just a case of differing opinions. It becomes abuse.

Exactly! If the INTENTION is to mentally subdue, demean, belittle, CONTROL the other person, then it is verbal abuse. As at this moment, we have no proof that that is what the woman did in this case. Two people shouting back and forth with each other is not automatically verbal abuse. And, it does not automatically mean it is the woman that is being verbally abusive even if her voice is louder. Not until you hear what is being said.

If the OP had said, the man was meekly sitting quietly while the woman was yelling and raining curses on him, then, we can start a conversation about verbal abuse. As a matter of fact, based on what we have heard, the person that was verbally abusive in this case was the MAN!! His threat to beat her if she didn't shut up WAS verbal abuse. The intent was to subdue her and control her!

I'm saying all this because I see the words 'verbal abuse' being thrown around this family section a lot and it's obvious to me that probably 90% of those saying it have no idea what it means. So I think it needs to be clarified a little.

plendil:
When the man threatened to deal with her if she didn't keep quiet, why did dare him? She questioned his masculinity right in front of his children. Is there a possibility that the whole ugly incident would have been avoided if she had stopped talking at that point?

But her response is still not verbal abuse for the simple reason that it was a defensive statement. Verbal abuse is not defensive. She only responded to a threat of physical bodily harm with defiance. Nothing abnormal or abusive about that.

The whole ugly incident would have been avoided if he did not threaten to beat her up at any point.

Like you said, there is a lot we do not know. So I don't think people should be concluding verbal abuse on the part of the woman based on nothing at all.

And I do agree with you that what he did was absolutely wrong.

pickabeau1:
Amended

don't go there.....
white males are getting shafted as well. theirs is even worse. too many stories lately about women who would claim sex equality this week & still go after her husband's money when she opts for a divorce.

coogar:

don't go there.....
white males are getting shafted as well. theirs is even worse. too many stories lately about women who would claim sex equality this week & still go after her husband's money when she opts for a divorce.

I was running on the treadmill while reading this. I have to sit down to laugh at the highlighted. You will learn Coogar. Someone's gonna teach you

soul_glo:
I was running on the treadmill while reading this. I have to sit down to laugh at the highlighted. You will learn Coogar. Someone's gonna teach you

don't break your back on the treadmill....

Hahaha.. Yes being male is bad
But blacks have the rub of the green (from all other races and their own women)

coogar:

don't go there.....
white males are getting shafted as well. theirs is even worse. too many stories lately about women who would claim sex equality this week & still go after her husband's money when she opts for a divorce.

Chillisauce: ;Dkulyie did you say Yugoslavia .

My belle o

I actually pee in my pants laughing now.
Of all places. Chai.

coogar:

she's never serious....
eastern europe where you have the highest human trafficking & girls are forced into pröstitution is kulyie's best example. sometimes, i think kulyie takes alomo bitters before posting.




he's a hero in lagos.

ok now i am serious

japan is less violent,france,italy,australia,germany,canada,new zealand peutorico etc

at least not that they are 100 percent violent free but the rate of violence is very minimal