yellowpawpaw: Yes I can remember now.
Eminado is the name of tiwa savage latest song,right.

Babe, why did u choose it?
I lv that song. She make sense there.

funny thing is I heard a German boy singing it, he said its a Nigerian song and was surprised he heard the jam before me his Nigerian friend introduced me to nairaland, he's also a member here. Was searching for an appropriate moniker and I chose this... eminado eminado...

d/p sorry.

are you writing a movie script? which man in his right senses will do such thing, beating his wife on the road on their way home or to somewhere abegi african story on AIT.

alutacontinua: I don't see where the op stated that the wife started the verbal abuse. They were both shouting on each other, dt's what she said! The kind of shouting dt people outside the car could hear them clearly! If we want to judge this on the basis of action and reaction, we cannot judge right cos we dunno who started the cycle! No woman out of soooooo much joy and happiness starts shouting on her husband in a car!

Also, beating her does not in anyway save lives in this situation. For God's sake, they could have pushed each other towards an oncoming vehicle, the kids could av attempted to intervene and another vehicle hit them in the process. In a society where bikes are always emerging out of nowhere, everybody could get in trouble as dt place might start getting rowdy! If he really had the intention of saving lives, he could have quietly ordered her out. If she disobeys, he shld take his kids and get a cab or something. IMHO, what he did was wrong!

Sure, they were both shouting but he warned her to put a sock in it!

Would it have killed her to shut her gob? No matter what your gripe is with your spouse, you do not run off your mouth with insults while he / she is driving!

And yes, beating her did save lives. It gave him the opportunity to stop driving (aversion of a potential accident waiting to happen while not focused due to arguing with Mrs Fish Mouth).

Re: the bolded part of your sentence - how is that different from the man who got out his wife's car due to an argument on the M25 only to get run over by a truck?

Nor be the same sort of heated argument leading to a spouse coming out of a car on a busy highway? So you're suggesting the man should have further risked his life and that of his kids just to escape the stoopid woman's rants?

That beating didn't kill her. Hopefully, it's enabled the message to sink into her dense skull.

What he did was wrong, you dont want to hit/beat a woman in front of your kids or in public. Our world is already messed up with every kind of violence, sigh.
The best thing is to park till you both cool off 'woman can i go on now' kind of thing. What was he trying to teaching his kids, that you beat a woman to shut her up? Ummmm

Efemena_xy:

Sure, they were both shouting but he warned her to put a sock in it!

Would it have killed her to shut her gob? No matter what your gripe is with your spouse, you do not run off your mouth with insults while he / she is driving!

And yes, beating her did save lives. It gave him the opportunity to stop driving (aversion of a potential accident waiting to happen while not focused due to arguing with Mrs Fish Mouth).

Re: the bolded part of your sentence - how is that different from the man who got out his wife's car due to an argument on the M25 only to get run over by a truck?

Nor be the same sort of heated argument leading to a spouse coming out of a car on a busy highway? So you're suggesting the man should have further risked his life and that of his kids just to escape the stoopid woman's rants?

That beating didn't kill her. Hopefully, it's enabled the message to sink into her dense skull.

U're totally missing the point!
Fighting on a road doesn't prevent an accident, it paves and opens way for it to happen! assuming he finished d beating and drove off, dt's another potential accident cos an angry man driving is not the safest of things either. Pinning his action on 'intent to save life' is not a good argument at all cos it still doesn't make sense. For God's sake, i dunno how large that road is but if i'll weigh it by what most roads look lyk in Naija, they definitely don't allow for a car to be parked, oda vehicles coming and someone practicing karate skills. Not to mention the crowd that must have gathered to watch. Now, that is an accident scene right there!

They both ran their mouth, they were both stupid. I'm not saying the woman is an angel but your argument abt preventing accident does not apply in this case. If I were a man and i'm driving and somebody starts to distract me too much with insults and noise, i'll quietly park, and for the sake of the libes i'm trying to protect, calm her down! It doesn't matter who is right or wrong here, tr lives at stake is what matters to me. If dt doesn't work, we both sit down i that car and shout each other down until we're satisfied, nobody gets out! If dt doesn't work, i call for a cab or stop a cab(whichever is appropriate) and get outta there with my kids. Dragging the woman out of the vehicle and beating her up just doesn't serve the purpose of protecting lives. It endangers it more! Maybe it serves some other purpose but definitely not saving lives!

They were both at fault for carrying on a heated argument in a moving vehicle. One person alone cannot take the blame for this.

The man was 100% wrong in beating her. There is no reason whatsoever for that. Parking the car safely off the road was the only step needed in saving lives. Everything else after that was unrelated to a quest for safety.

I don't engage in lengthy arguments whether I'm a passenger or whether I'm the driver. I will cut it short in either scenario.

armyofone: What he did was wrong, you dont want to hit/beat a woman in front of your kids or in public. Our world is already messed up with every kind of violence, sigh.
The best thing is to park till you both cool off 'woman can i go on now' kind of thing. What was he trying to teaching his kids, that you beat a woman to shut her up? Ummmm

.......but it's 100% perfect for the wife to rain abuses on her husband in front of her kids in public?

alutacontinua:

U're totally missing the point!
Fighting on a road doesn't prevent an accident, it paves and opens way for it to happen! assuming he finished d beating and drove off, dt's another potential accident cos an angry man driving is not the safest of things either. Pinning his action on 'intent to save life' is not a good argument at all cos it still doesn't make sense. For God's sake, i dunno how large that road is but if i'll weigh it by what most roads look lyk in Naija, they definitely don't allow for a car to be parked, oda vehicles coming and someone practicing karate skills. Not to mention the crowd that must have gathered to watch. Now, that is an accident scene right there!

he was already done beating her. he cannot be angry anymore. he's already satisfied with his action. he would be very much relieved. if anything, it's the wife that would be angry, not the husband.

They both ran their mouth, they were both stupid. I'm not saying the woman is an angel but your argument abt preventing accident does not apply in this case. If I were a man and i'm driving and somebody starts to distract me too much with insults and noise, i'll quietly park, and for the sake of the libes i'm trying to protect, calm her down! It doesn't matter who is right or wrong here, tr lives at stake is what matters to me. If dt doesn't work, we both sit down i that car and shout each other down until we're satisfied, nobody gets out! If dt doesn't work, i call for a cab or stop a cab(whichever is appropriate) and get outta there with my kids. Dragging the woman out of the vehicle and beating her up just doesn't serve the purpose of protecting lives. It endangers it more! Maybe it serves some other purpose but definitely not saving lives!

dragging her out & beating her seems appropriate for the type of woman she is. he's not stüpid. the woman is on the passenger seat, dragging her out on the service lane is safe enough & beating her right there after she dared him to is well deserved. if a woman acts like an animal, treat her like an animal.


for centuries to come, she will remember this day.

Nashville:

You know I am always stalking you. And I always agree with you everytime!

Lol!

I yam is a ismalia

How are your folks?

steph7:
Men if your wife gives you too much headache pack her things back to her father's house instead of hitting her.

This is where I stand. Woman can't turn me to a panel beater.

What possible justification is there for the man to pull his wife out of the car and beat her up. Because she dared him? What?


@ Efe how did his behavior stop an accident. If having an argument caused accidents then every single person on earth would have had an accident. He pulled her out of the vehicle and beat her and you say not only is she crazy but wilder than the man. If she was wild she would have slapped him. That is what a wild person does. Maybe we would have said he lost it and hit her back. But she did not hit him. She was talking and he was talking and then he pulled her out of the vehicle and beat her up. Someone else is using your ID.

The fact is that no form of violence should be allowed. Both emotional and physical abuse should not have place in marriage in the first instance. The woman was guilty as well as the man, but personally, i think the man got it wrong there and then, because two wrongs can never make a right, for him to have stoop so low to come down and drag his wife out of the car in order to beat her says a lot about the man himself. It means he himself is also a violent man, and i can bet it that, that would not be the first time for both of them to be washing their dirty linen in the public and in the presence of their kids.
Bottom line, like attracts like, both of them seems to be of the same page.



@Efe, you've never supported violence in any form, you're even always against hitting a child even when he/she errs, you always insist on non-violent way of approaching matters, but why you have different opinion on this matter is known to you, probably, because you are angry at the fish mouthed wife, and sometimes when one talk out of annoyance, one may break a principle, so, in this case, just admit that it was a slip of tongue/fingers and we will all understand and everyone will free you, afterall, we are all humans and we are prone to anger/mistake.
God bless our homes.

alutacontinua:

U're totally missing the point!
Fighting on a road doesn't prevent an accident, it paves and opens way for it to happen! assuming he finished d beating and drove off, dt's another potential accident cos an angry man driving is not the safest of things either. Pinning his action on 'intent to save life' is not a good argument at all cos it still doesn't make sense. For God's sake, i dunno how large that road is but if i'll weigh it by what most roads look lyk in Naija, they definitely don't allow for a car to be parked, oda vehicles coming and someone practicing karate skills. Not to mention the crowd that must have gathered to watch. Now, that is an accident scene right there!

No. I'm not missing any point. I've been on par ever since this thread was open.

You say fighting on the road paves the way for potential accidents to happen. What about arguing f00lishly whilst driving? That doesn't pave the way for accidents too?

I'm sorry to say this but some women get their rocks off on violence. Do you honestly think this man wanted things to go this far? Do you really think he wanted to descend that low? I don't think he did, hence his warning her but she just had to keep pushing his buttons, didn't she?

Anyway, as per 'missing the point', @OP's question was to find out our opinion on the events he witnessed and I've done just that - given my views, which are...that woman deserved the beating she got - every hot slap landed on her face, which hopefully, she'll remember for future purposes before running her mouth again - in public.

alutacontinua: They both ran their mouth, they were both stupid. I'm not saying the woman is an angel but your argument abt preventing accident does not apply in this case. If I were a man and i'm driving and somebody starts to distract me too much with insults and noise, i'll quietly park, and for the sake of the libes i'm trying to protect, calm her down! It doesn't matter who is right or wrong here, tr lives at stake is what matters to me. If dt doesn't work, we both sit down i that car and shout each other down until we're satisfied, nobody gets out! If dt doesn't work, i call for a cab or stop a cab(whichever is appropriate) and get outta there with my kids. Dragging the woman out of the vehicle and beating her up just doesn't serve the purpose of protecting lives. It endangers it more! Maybe it serves some other purpose but definitely not saving lives!

Well, he's been married to her for goodness knows how long, so it's safe to say he knew she had probably reached the point of no return with her zest to fight. Is she a baby that he has to calm down with a soother or pacifier? Hasn't she got the common sense to understand how dicey their situation was?

Only an animal in the face of real danger will continuing goading. Now let's take it real slow here:

~ He threatened to stop the car and beat her. That should have been enough for her to zip it, but oh no... madam de madam had to call his bluff, shouting you nor fit!

~ He stopped the car as promised. She should have just kept quiet then, or better still, walked off. But no - she stood her ground, refusing to move her fat @arse off the passenger seat. She nor sabi the kind man she marry?

~ He comes over to her - she's still there probably raining insults till he's forced to drag her. Infact, na woman be that sef? I don't think so!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, she knew what was coming, it was no surprise. She wanted it to happen and she got exactly what she wanted - to be publicly disgraced - the same way she'd been doing that to her man during the journey in that car.

Come to think of it, yes, it really would save more lives because in future, if she's lucky to sit with her husband again whilst he's driving, she won't dare open her mouth to insult/challenge/or argue with him. She'll shut her trap and wait till they get home to resolve their differences.

soul_glo: What possible justification is there for the man to pull his wife out of the car and beat her up. Because she dared him? What?


@ Efe how did his behavior stop an accident. If having an argument caused accidents then every single person on earth would have had an accident. He pulled her out of the vehicle and beat her and you say not only is she crazy but wilder than the man. If she was wild she would have slapped him. That is what a wild person does. Maybe we would have said he lost it and hit her back. But she did not hit him. She was talking and he was talking and then he pulled her out of the vehicle and beat her up. Someone else is using your ID.

My response above more than answers your question. Now pls quit this talk about someone hacking my account or using my ID. It's getting boring.

I said I do not support or empathise with that woman. Why won't you all just get it? No matter how much una type, I stand solidly against this woman. Simple!

greatgod2012: The fact is that no form of violence should be allowed. Both emotional and physical abuse should not have place in marriage in the first instance. The woman was guilty as well as the man, but personally, i think the man got it wrong there and then, because two wrongs can never make a right, for him to have stoop so low to come down and drag his wife out of the car in order to beat her says a lot about the man himself. It means he himself is also a violent man, and i can bet it that, that would not be the first time for both of them to be washing their dirty linen in the public and in the presence of their kids.
Bottom line, like attracts like, both of them seems to be of the same page.

I already said they were both wrong but - that woman deserved the beating of her life from that man. Nothing else seemed to sink into her skull. How else was he supposed to get the message through?

Now it's happened, d'you think she'll try it again?

greatgod2012:
@Efe, you've never supported violence in any form, you're even always against hitting a child even when he/she errs, you always insist on non-violent way of approaching matters, but why you have different opinion on this matter is known to you, probably, because you are angry at the fish mouthed wife, and sometimes when one talk out of annoyance, one may break a principle, so, in this case, just admit that it was a slip of tongue/fingers and we will all understand and everyone will free you, afterall, we are all humans and we are prone to anger/mistake.
God bless our homes.

That woman is not a child! How can you compare her to one??

@ the bolded: Is that so?? It was not a slip or slide or slither of my tongue!

And, I don't want to be freed by anyone! Shuo!

Fish mouth asked for it, she got it - simple. Action and consequences.

And yes, I never ever condone violence but I'm making an exception in this case. I have no pity whatsoever for that woman.

It's gonna be a long night with Efe .
I wish una well.

Domestic violence is condemnable in any case but some women should learn to bridle their tongue. Little wonder Solomon made those incisive comments about a brawling woman...

"the man should - must! - always control himself no matter the provocation. Even if the woman abuses him, vilifies his entire linage, insults the living daylight out of him, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE MUST HE RETALIATE. Its only a barbaric caveman that would lift a finger on a lady.

The woman, with fleeting control of her tongue is an angel, apparently.

So, what should the man do when provoked?

"He should walk away, he should understand that the way women naturally are"

I see. then the following day she happens to provoke him again?

"He should still walk away."

For how long should he continue to walk away??

My point is this: the man has blood and not engine oil running though his veins, and there comes a tipping point where he snaps. I'm not by any means condoning physical violence, but neither should the ladies accept verbal violence - yes, it is violence - as "part of the genetic makeup of a women". It is irritating.

The animalistic, barbaric excuse of a man for deploying his muscles on the lady, and the fish-brained, caustic-tongued woman were BOTH WRONG AND SHOULD BOTH SEEK HELP.

plendil: My point is this: the man has blood and not engine oil running though his veins, and there comes a tipping point where he snaps. I'm not by any means condoning physical violence, but neither should the ladies accept verbal violence - yes, it is violence - as "part of the genetic makeup of a women". It is irritating.

The animalistic, barbaric excuse of a man for deploying his muscles on the lady, and the fish-brained, caustic-tongued woman were BOTH WRONG AND SHOULD BOTH SEEK HELP.

What is verbal abuse?

What evidence do you have that verbal abuse occured in this situation?

Some time ago(uk), a woman was driving with husband in passenger seat, heated argument, the woman stopped the car, (maybe) asked the husband to get out. The man, very angry got off and was killed by a truck. Some ppl blame the woman.
This time, man was driving, heated argument, husband stopped the car, pull the woman out and gave her the punch of her life. They blame the woman for having caustic tongue.

Ppl get angry all the time, how do you control your anger matters a lot. You don't subdue humans because you have the strength. I bet if the woman was black belt holder the husband will find another method of tackling the "verbal abuse".

Chillisauce: Some time ago(uk), a woman was driving with husband in passenger seat, heated argument, the woman stopped the car, (maybe) asked the husband to get out. The man, very angry got off and was killed by a truck. Some ppl blame the woman.
This time, man was driving, heated argument, husband stopped the car, pull the woman out and gave her the punch of her life. They blame the woman for having caustic tongue.

Ppl get angry all the time, how do you control your anger matters a lot. You don't subdue humans because you have the strength. I bet if the woman was black belt holder the husband will find another method of tackling the "verbal abuse".

Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Judo and other martial arts don't just teach their pupils how to fight / defend themselves. They teach control and self-control is what that woman lacked.

Efemena_xy:

Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Judo and other martial arts don't just teach their pupils how to fight / defend themselves. They teach control and self-control is what that woman lacked.

Of cos we all know she lack self control but when someone decides to pounce on her because he has an upper hand, he will think twice as she won't hesitate to karate him into an oncoming vehicle.

There you have it, self defense

Efemena_xy:

Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Judo and other martial arts don't just teach their pupils how to fight / defend themselves. They teach control and self-control is what that woman lacked.

So the woman lacked control because she was being argumentative and the man does not? He is St. Husband. Whatever.

What's ironic to me is someone pointing out that the woman shouldn't have argued with her husband in front of the kids but she is ok with the man beating his wife in front of those same kids! What is he teaching them? That anytime someone insults them or gets them angry they can go ahead and punch them? Very soon his sons will grow up and they won't see anything wrong with beating their own wives. The man is even very stupid, imagine his boss or clients passing and seeing him acting like a mad man on the road in a civilized society he would have spent the night cooling his fists in jail where he'll get a chance to fight men like himself if he loves fighting so much. If we all go around hitting people who make us angry imagine the kind of world we would live in. We don't always have control over other peoples' actions but we always have control over our reaction. That is why no one goes to jail for insulting someone but you'll definitely go to jail for beating someone provoked or not!

ileobatojo:

What is verbal abuse?

What evidence do you have that verbal abuse occured in this situation?

Yes, there such a thing as verbal abuse/violence:

The damage is internal, there are no physical bruises or scars, just a wounded spirit and sense of self-esteem.

Defining outcomes [of violence] solely in terms of injury or death thus limits the understanding of the full impact of violence

http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2002/9241545615_eng.pdf


The wife, aware she wouldn't be able to match him physically gave free rein to her tongue with the intention of subduing him psychologically - this is abuse. The man, obviously aware he was approaching his limits had warned her to keep quiet or face repercussions, but her response "you no fit" left him in no doubt as to how lowly she regarded him and his threats. The man then decided to prove that "he fit".

But of course I agree physical violence against women is not certainly not on the same level of gravity as verbal abuse. However they are both wrong and should be condemned.

my problem here was that over 90% of the female respondents see absolutely nothing wrong with the actions of the lady, and I find that worrisome. The impression is that it is essentially okay for the lady to run her mouth when provoked but never okay for the man to respond. It shouldn't be so.

soul_glo:

So the woman lacked control because she was being argumentative and the man does not? He is St. Husband. Whatever.

They both lacked self control and both should be reprimanded.

soul_glo:
So the woman lacked control because she was being argumentative and the man does not? He is St. Husband. Whatever.

she's the trouble starter.
don't be surprised if you spit at someone & he shoots you in the head. if you did not spit at him in the first place, he will not aim his gun & shoot. there's no universal law that says retaliation has to be equal. people have different ways of handling insults, people have different thresholds of pain.

the woman deserves the aśs-kicking!!!

coogar:

she's the trouble starter.
don't be surprised if you spit at someone & he shoots you in the head. if you did not spit at him in the first place, he will not aim his gun & shoot. there's no universal law that says retaliation has to be equal. people have different ways of handling insults, people have different thresholds of pain.

the woman deserves the aśs-kicking!!!

@bolded, another biased assumption that you and Efe keep repeating!
OP NEVER POINTED THAT OUT!
They were BOTH shouting!
She didn't say the wife was shouting first, then both of them, then beating followed! THEY WERE BOTH SHOUTING!

alutacontinua:

@bolded, another biased assumption that you and Efe keep repeating!
OP NEVER POINTED THAT OUT!
They were BOTH shouting!
She didn't say the wife was shouting first, then both of them, then beating followed! THEY WERE BOTH SHOUTING!

did the OP need to say that before you figure out what transpired? why would a man driving a car park his car & drag his wife out to beat if she hadn't said anything? come on!!

the woman must have been the instigator & the husband set her straight. the husband threatened her to keep quiet or get what's coming - she dared him & got what was coming. i dunno why there's so much hullabaloo over this matter.

plendil:

Yes, there such a thing as verbal abuse/violence:

Oh, I know that. I'm just wondering if you know what it means. In other words, how do you differentiate verbal abuse from a non abusive heated argument between spouses?

How did you make the distinction in this case based on the information provided?

plendil:
The wife, aware she wouldn't be able to match him physically gave free rein to her tongue with the intention of subduing him psychologically - this is abuse.

How do you know the bolded?

plendil:
my problem here was that over 90% of the female respondents see absolutely nothing wrong with the actions of the lady

That's quite the blatant lie isn't it?

Here, a man drags a caustic woman out and beats her, ladies r screaming.
In another thread, instead of beating the lady, the husband decided to bundle her to her parents, ladies r screaming.
Hello ladies, werin dey happen naw. As this treatment no gel, the other one no gel, which one go gel now?
We too much.

coogar:

.......but it's 100% perfect for the wife to rain abuses on her husband in front of her kids in public?

Were you there analyst coogar, i thought the OP said they were both arguing.

yellowpawpaw: Here, a man drags a caustic woman out and beats her, ladies r screaming.
In another thread, instead of beating the lady, the husband decided to bundle her to her parents, ladies r screaming.
Hello ladies, werin dey happen naw. As this treatment no gel, the other one no gel, which one go gel now?
We too much.

What will "gel" is treating someone with dignity and respect. So because he did not assault his wife he should get a medal? It is a sad day the day we start saying at least he did not beat her. At least he did not rape her. No wonder there are men who can blatantly beat their wives and say at least I am not sleeping around. Talk about setting the bar. There is no freaking bar