Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? - Romance (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by Nobody: 9:44pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
topup: Reason 2 isnt always true. You dont need to find someone else to realise your liason with another chic isnt going to work. Seeing a woman from a distance is totally different from what she's like close-up. Many women are nice, accomodating, patient, beautiful (behind the facade of make-up) from a distance . . . the minute you get close to them and really get down to knowing who they really are you suddenly realise you gave them too much hype in the first place. First reaction is to bale out. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by Chaoga: 10:01pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
@ Poster Your story is quite funny? maybe you asked why? Because you want something in the media world through him is the obvious reason you said yes to him when he toasted you and you are here with that big flat mouth saying "Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why?" why won't he? I don't have time to quote people, UNLEASHED referred your case to that of Craig David's 7 days, a good and perfect one. This is a public forum where you get different kind of replies, some might be weird and annoying and some might be nice. you should accept both as they comes, who ought to cover face in shame if not you? but you are there hitting at some people. Do the same to me It won't fuckin* freak me but I must tell you franky, you abuse the name of love and you are a disgrace to womanhood. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by chessguru(m): 10:21pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
@ poster My saying yes to him early enough wasn't because I was cheap o. But I had something I wanted to pursue in the media house which I knew I cud get through him. And which of course he did for me after agreeing to be his. At least he saved me when I needed it so why care how he treated you, you got what you wanted from him anyway, any other thing you planned to get that you couldn't get? One more thing- IGNORE posters that are simply out to i[b]nsult[/b] or offer destructive criticism, it is just a pity that the RULES"respect other members", etc blah blah blah are just there to decorate the forum on this insult thing especially unprovoked insults/assaults on posters starting a new topic,where are the Moderators?? Admin?? anyway the best you can do 4 now is ignore them!!
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| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by opsydudu(m): 10:31pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
@Girlsoswit shame on you, you thought the guy would fall for your tricks when you wanted to use him to get what you want in the so call media house. You trade your body all in the name of getting something done and you come out here talking rubbish. If nothing happened between you two then you shouldn't be here wasting everyones' time. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by olanajim(m): 10:37pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
@poster, you might not have done anything wrong just as you might have done something wrong. In truth, reading your post, it appear you might have shown desperation. At least in his own reasoning. All the while you have been pestering him with calls, you are actually radiating desperation as far as he could see. Next time it happen, always use a third party. For instance, the friend through whom you met him. Or someone that know the two of you. The third person would then do the job for you. That would save you this kind of humiliation in future. Secondly, in truth, he might be busy. I refused to subscribe to the extremist thoughts till confirmed. You see, both of you are just less than a week in the relationship. This implies that you know virtualy nothing about him beyond "hello, how are you and work?". It is clear that he is avoiding you because: 1. You don't meet his specification and is trying to quietly walk out of the affair before it get deeper. I know this, because I have been there. A guy that don't want to use and dump you would not allow the relationship to grow beyond "how are you" category. If he sense it is getting to that level, he would start avoiding you until you get the message. Ladies should learn to respect such guys rather than condemn them. Some of them are just plain conservative and wouldn't want to hurt anyone. 2. He might have heard something negative about you that made him change his mind. The above, are valid on the condition that he had not slept with you! If he had slept with you, then I can add more reasons to it. But I wouldn't want to be negative about anyone. Solution. Forget him. If he want you, he would return. If he doesn't return, then look elsewhere. But remember to learn your lesson. That is not to say that you must be rigid in future. Rigidity hurts more than heartbreak, sometimes. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by topup: 10:56pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
I disagree about him being busy, a week into the relationship is still in the honeymoon period, where both people should be excited about each other, can't get enough and want to spend as much time as possible. Now reading the new information about you using him, maybe he saw right through it, and so when he went out with you, he may have felt used, if he is in the media, can you imagine how many girls do the exact same thing. He might have felt that he was wasting his time with someone who was not interested in him for who he is but what he could offer. You can understand why he left you right? He probably got the impression you would dump his ass after you've gotten everything you needed from him, were you trying to call him and hold on, because you needed more favours done? I don't know, but you have to be honest with yourself. It is starting to make sense now that he ended the relationship. It gives both of you a chance to asses what you both got into. A relationship should always start with the best of intentions. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by chessguru(m): 12:44am On Sep 19, 2008 |
@Girlsoswit Well,your post was "why did he behave like this to me? please why?" there are a thousand and one guesses that mere mortals Who did not watch your five days relationship scenes on a wide screen can suggest , but the bottom line is he treated you in a particular way and you wonder why, First how did he treat you? he stopped communicating and by conduct showed lack of further interest in you and forced you to "resign" in frustration? SO WHY DID HE DO THAT? that was the question!! i think if you look deep into your soul the answer is within you, just analyse the situation, then try tpo arrive at a conclusion, then move on with a positive attitude. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by olanajim(m): 4:21am On Sep 19, 2008 |
@topup, why must you assume that the lady want to curry favour from the man? What is so special about being in a media that would make any lady jump at a man? I read through the post, but there is nothing suggestive of that assumption. Chessguru was a bit right in a way. By the way, topup, I strongly disagree with the notion that every partner get excited at the first few days of the relationship. People who had had broken relationship don't often get excited. Don't forget the man is matured. Possibly nearing his 30s or above. There are men who just play along. I don't know of women though. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by chika98: 4:25am On Sep 19, 2008 |
Move on! shit happens. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by topup: 4:56am On Sep 19, 2008 |
olanajim: Well, I may have ended such a relationship in which the first few days of our relationship, the guy never calls, nor does he show any interest in me, I think it is reasonable to assume that most if not 99.9% of people in a new relationship are enthusiastic about it, especially when they're the one who did the asking out like the guy did, and claiming that from the very first time he saw her he fell in love with her. Does that sound like someone who obviously wanted to take things slow or was heartbroken. The man is matured, but every human reacts the same way to something they are genuinely excited about, she even mentioned that he called her multiple of times a day in the first few days, the fact that after a week, he suddenly becomes busy doesn't seem to prove true either, after all, he cut off her phone, he ignored her calls, stopped replying. Anyone who receives concerned phone calls or texts from a partner, would see the alarm bells and seek to reassure their partner but he did none of this. It was obvious that he was done with the relationship. In response to davidylan, the reason why I believe that it was reason two is because the relationship barely lasted more than a week, most people give a relationship longer to figure out whether the girl or guy 'is all that', I don't believe that he gave her a fair chance to see if she was (which most people would have), I believed another female caught his attention, snatched it right out of girlsoswit's palm, that is why he even cut off the relationship in such a hurry, I mean most people once discovering that they are not that into the girl would at least hint her, or come to mature dicussion (since we have already discussed that this is a mature man - (in age but not in attitude as proven)). Or maybe I've got it all wrong, am I giving girlsoswit too much credit, assuming that she never exhibited any of the signals that men dislike in women? I am giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was a wonderful girl, but at the same time, maybe he did in fact leave because there was no connection. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by MP007(m): 4:58am On Sep 19, 2008 |
, i am guessing you guys had sex , , |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by olanajim(m): 6:28am On Sep 19, 2008 |
Oh topup, a mix-up there. Sorry. It wasn't chessguru I was trying to quote. At least not the above. Error regretted. The relationship actually lasted 3 days! If she said yes to the guy after two days and then the guy stopped communicating after 5 days then, they merely related for 3 days. they are not really dating probably familiarising! I think from your experience, you should figure out something interesting about this strange affair. Let assume they lasted 5 days. Questions have to be asked. Are they meeting everyday? We know the guy calls up to ten times a day. Are they meeting one on one? How many times within the 5 days? Next, an excitement about relationship must be borne out of the fact that there is something that trigggered expectation. Since the poster didn't provide that, then it is unwise to conclude for her. I also wish to draw your attention to the fact that providence can bring 2 people together. You meet a lady who is in need and then helped her. Whatever the reason. Then you feel you want to "know her better" and told her so. Note that many ladies equate that statement to mean a "guy want a date". Aside from that, the man may as well just have platonic relation in mind, while the lady want to go deeper. She might have assume that the man's caring and friendly disposition to her mean special interest. When the man noted this, he beat a retreat! That is my own understanding. I have acted like that man on countless times. Often with the ladies disappointed. That is why I gave that explanation. I know from my experience, a finding that would astound ladies, that NOT every guys that is good to them want a date! Take it or leave it. Some guys just want to be friend and nothing more. Just don't follow him to his bedroom. That stat you gave as 99.9% cannot be accurate. I strongly doubt it accuracy. Anyway, it doesn't matter. What matter is to be able to recognize whether the relationship is for real or not. Love shouldn't be blind. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by georgee(m): 7:06am On Sep 19, 2008 |
@poster na lie u dey lie, the guy don ****** u like twice and dumped your sorry ass. i had one girl like dat, she gave in to me after 48 hours of toasting, and we had it like 3-4times in dat week before i ran away. Uptill now she still dey tell all her frends say nothing happened btween us, thank GOD say my frends dey peep dat time, na dem be my witness. so girlsoswit, u ar now girlsocheap, liar |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by ade2kay(m): 9:15am On Sep 19, 2008 |
georgee:VERY TRUE MP007:VERY TRUE Chaoga:VERY TRUE If the guy no touch u, why u come dey cry here, if he didnt shag u crazy, u would be so happy you played him. Get out of here and stop weeping, it's a 50-50 thing, you got your favor, he shagged you, and moved on ! You are a big idiot ! |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by kissangel1: 9:54am On Sep 19, 2008 |
ade2kay: I didn't want to comment initially, but hey! has it gotten to this? no one is perfect and we've all had out stupid and foolish times and made our mistakes. whats most important is to learn and move on so we don't fall into such mistakes again girlfriend. i know how low and confused you must be feeling. most people no matter how "super hero " "no one messes wit me" they must be pretending to be, remember we've all got our dirty laundry and let downs, if not in love, then marriage, work life e.t.c, LEARN AND MOVE ON life continues and i a little while ul probably be wondering Wat was so special wit him in the first instance and how lucky u were to get off his hook. this is an obviously rude and immature guy, NO SERIOUS GIRL NEEDS HIS KIND, either he doesn't know what he wants, or he is the harsh type that enjoys breakingheart and giving lame or no ex uses {xteristics of a professional player}. Abeg, there are nicer ways of breaking up but hey, did a relationship really exist between u both or were u just assuming even when Ur heart was giving little silent u warnings, {it sure did} hold your head high girl, even if u feel lonely and desperate, don't make the "TOO FAST TOO SOON {TFTS}" mistake, cos its easy to equally CRASH TOO SOON! slow down and take it easy in your nest relationship. and no matter how in love and desperate u are feeling, don't rush or give off desperation vibes, it always has the opposite effect, " prey - predator" the guy will feel like a prey, no one wants to feel that way. and no matter how outdated or old schoolish this may sound. REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE TEND TO VALUE MORE WHAT WAS ACHIEVED {worked for} MORE THAT FREEBIES{came on a platter of gold} cos they always take it for granted cos it cost them nothing. bottom line, add some value to your self and love your self more, most importantly learn. I'm saying all this with so much love in my heart and i wish you the best in finding a guy that will love you and make u happy every second of the day all the best! 1 Like |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by spikedcylinder: 10:12am On Sep 19, 2008 |
@ girlsoswit Maybe he didn't like your leather skirt, I think you should do that in green or blue next time. They are sexy colours.  The belt is classic though. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by Gamine(f): 10:42am On Sep 19, 2008 |
ROTFLMAOSLIAGHAHA  |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by Nobody: 11:34am On Sep 19, 2008 |
Totup stop deceiving the girl. The guy’s a player and so is she. She said it herself that she only wanted to play. If I judge her character right, she said yes immediately he asked and slept with him 2 hrs later. C’mon think about it, the guy obviously is not an everyday guy and the girl came on quite strong. That doesn’t really make her cheap, it makes her a player and I think she got played this time. That would explain the constant call and worry. She didn’t expect to be dumped so soon.  People sleep with their BFs on their first date and it doesn’t change a damn thing. Get over it girl and move on. If he comes back, there's nothing wrong with a little romp in the hay and . . . life goes on  |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by CYclone1(f): 11:41am On Sep 19, 2008 |
spikedcylinder:ROFL |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by bilms(m): 11:53am On Sep 19, 2008 |
to me, i dont think u feel so ccheap for him, because i dont think thats what we call cheap girl. so dont be borthered if some one says cheap. but to my knowledge i guess, u re starting to cause problem between him and his friend, so the only way to avoid problem between them is to say good bye to u. but he wont tell u to avoid causing more problems |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by rampagain: 12:31pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
Ujujoan: God bless u the poster got caught in her own game |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by topup: 1:30pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
I think the guy was either a player (most likely) or he has a really short attention span in relationships and for commitment. I think for most people the warning signs would have been there, especially when he was already saying that he loved her when he really didn't know her. I think she was just there for her pride, and when he started ignoring her, her pride and ego was being hurt, she's seeking desperately to call him in hope that he's still as crazy about her as he initially stated. I think we're giving the guy too much credit, I've seen this 'game' in 13 year old boys; Boy (sees attractive girl): "I love you. You are the only one I've felt like this with. Will you be mine?" Girl: "Oh really? Of course, since you are crazy about me." Boy: "That's great!" *kisses girl* A day later: Girl calls boy and boy picks up phone. Boy: "Yeah! What?!" Girl: "I am so happy we're together." Boy: "Are we?" |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by JustGood(m): 1:43pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
From what you have written here, there's no reason for anyone to say you were cheap. You obviously thought you had a boyfriend and the guy seemd to have lost interest in you. these things happen in life so you should just dust yourself and move on. You said the you never slept with the guy, so that's alright. Those who say the guy is a player don't really know what it is to be a player. Players like a bite of the cherry and if the guy was a player, he would have loved to have a bite of your cherry before ignoring you. It sounds like he just thought things over and decided not to date you. He probably did it wrong by not informing you properly. Life goes on and you have your whole life before you. Chin up |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by JustGood(m): 1:48pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
Hmmmm, I feel you man. I also thot as much. Such an Idiot. I really didn't love him though, I only wanted to catch my fun. So coming back for 4giveness is just bullshit and wasting of his useless God forsaken time. Chikena. I really need to change my last post here. You now sound like one of those who disgrace women? Do you live in America by any chance? or maybe you have been influenced by some of the things some women post on here  |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by JustGood(m): 1:51pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
My saying yes to him early enough wasn't because I was cheap o. But I had something I wanted to pursue in the media house which I knew I cud get through him. And which of course he did for me after agreeing to be his. At least he saved me when I needed it. so you were using him  |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by girlsoswit(f): 1:51pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
For God's sake, I hate when you guys say I am girlsocheap or all this bullshit. I said I never had sex with him. Can't you guy's get the point. I am just going to ignor ur insults, You can say whateva you like, all of una get ur own skeleton for una own cupboard. Payback time is knocking at the door. Well for your information, the guy has called me and is pleading for forgiveness few days after I did this post. His reason's: The friend who introduced me to him in the first place was jealous of the relationship when he got info abt it and said some evil things about me that made him ignore me all the while. Another colleague of his who later got the gist told him that his action was simply immature and he should have confronted me b4 taking the step he took. Anywy he is seriously pleading and snt me gifts(a way of bribing me which I rejected with all pleasure). Nw I'm really baffed up and ready to pay him in his own coin. I'v stopped receiving his calls and his colleague got my nunber from him and pleads seriously on his behalf. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by JustGood(m): 1:53pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
I just read someone call the guy a jerk. How daft can such a response be? A woman goes out of her way to use a guy for something and the guy is no longer interested then the guy becomes a jerk? What if the guy just lost interest or decided that the girl is not the kind of girl he wants to date? Is he a jerk for having the mind to decide what kind of girl he wants? Would a girl be a jerk if she decided against having a guy? |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by rampagain: 2:01pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
girlsoswit: sweetheart i dont get u,u opened dis thread yesterday,so which few days r u talking about? or did u just make dis new development up? |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by Godalone(m): 2:26pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
girlsoswit:You are only consoling yourself,this thread is just a day old,say something different. rampagain:Very nice question,we are not daft @ poster. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by girlsoswit(f): 2:28pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
rampagain:Its nt a makeup. I actually did this post on sunday evening bt my time ran out while I was sending the post nt knowing that it didn't go through. So when i came online yesterdy and checked my posts I saw it wasn't there and had to resend it yesterday. This event happened a month ago and the guy came back begging on tuesday morning. Bt I still wanted to see u guys opinion on this b4 letting you knw he is back pleading so I pretended as if it newly happened and dat was why I snt the post again yesterday wen I noticed it wasn't snt the last time. Nw u get the gist. He snt me gifts through his friends( which i took as a bribe so I refused it) who came begging on his behalf. So who is the looser afterall. |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by girlsoswit(f): 2:38pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
I agree so much with u guy's criticisms ok. Only dat I hate all the insultive words that u use in backing up. I am nt making anything up ok. It's the real truth. Afterall I have nothing to loose cos I didn't give my body to him. Heaven knws if u guys dnt. The truth is wat I av just said. Believe it or not. That's ur business. I am nt taking anybody for a fool. ok. I rest my case after this. Tanx for the advice. My own is that nw it is payback time. I will get my own pound of flesh back and pay him back in his own coin and let him knw that nobody does it and get's away wth it. Hw I will do that is left to me. I'v resulted to stop picking his calls cos I want to build myself emotionally b4 jumping into the nxt relationship. There are lots of them wanting a yes and they complain of my being to harsh and I like it that way cos am nt ready to be deceived again. Thank you. I'v had my feel. Nairaland, what a place.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000] |
| Re: Why Did He Behave Like This To Me? Please Why? by spikedcylinder: 2:39pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
girlsoswit: Still remains you because you are lying through your teeth. How can anyone believe this? |
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