but i will keep saying it,smtimes when i go to work and come back,I'm so like dead tired,and if i was to be single,i can easily buy bread and coke to eat or even sleep on empty stomach,but no way,because i have to cook for the family

Does he help out?

KarmaMod:

Does he help out?

he cooks better dan me 

and when it comes to cleaning ,hes good   especially taking care of d gardens

but l,its not every time the man helps out,like smtimes hes not around,i have to do all myself,even when hes around,u don't leave everything to him or expect him to come help out always

i come home before him ,he comes home a little bit late because of work,so i have to do the cooking and stuffs like that alone

KarmaMod:

Does he help out?

Why is that always the first question that pops out of your head?  The woman just acknowledged the fact that she comes home from work to take care of her marital duties.  It's not as if failing to help out in the kitchen automatically makes the man useless or evil.

well if he's home before you, i'd think he's take into consideration how tired you are and make something for you and the kids

H2O2. Stop bothering me. If you have a problem with my questions, ignore me.

always starting something, where did I imply that her hubby is "evil"? was the question to you sef?

KarmaMod:

well if he's home before you, i'D think he's take into consideration how tired you are and make something for you and the kids

naaa most of d time,infact 99% of d time I'm always home before him, but weekends he helps out a lot because he does nt have to go to work

H2O2:

Why is that always the first question that pops out of your head?  The woman just acknowledged the fact that she comes home from work to take care of her marital duties.  It's not as if failing to help out in the kitchen automatically makes the man useless or evil.  

its ok,i understand where shes coming from

her question is a good one

KarmaMod:

H2O2. Stop bothering me. If you have a problem with my questions, ignore me.

always starting something, was the question to you sef?

Iya Habiba, am I not allowed to post anymore? I responded because I had a problem with your question.  Why don't you respond to the question I posed with a level head.

I have accused you of seeing marriage as a parlour to enforce your obsession with men and women sharing things evenly, what do you have to say about this?

jennykadri:

its ok,i understand where shes coming from

her question is a good one

Thanks Jen

Me im not ready to marry ooo, marriage ke? mba

some of us are playing with this topic, but its a very good one. I see many unhappy couples everyday; and I think 70% of men generally are not happy with their wives, I think thats why young dudes are scared of getting involved in it. Women desperatly wants to get married to avoid the shame of been unmarried forever; and men makes the marriage very happy and interesting due to the fresh sex they are getting initially. After three kids, the sexual love will start depreciating, the man would start losing interest, it will start getting boring and mariage would want to fall apart

Honestly,

Shhhhhhhh dont tell hubby but _yes.

It is kinda like that that thought i have sometimes that i might want another baby. The thought comes it passes and i am on with my life.

There are those times when you get mad at your spouse and think 'what have i done?' 'did i make the right choice'. I believe it is bound to happen in all marriages, if only for a second or two. It is a problem if that thought lasts and does not go away.

I love him with all my heart and never want to be w/o him. I want to grow old with him and share all of my life with him but there are times that i secertly wish i was not married. Not to cheat, not to betray but just to tell him to get the f,uck out ouf my face. But those words never come out cuz i am married to him, and cuz i respect him. So i write it down and keep it moving remembering Yolanda Adams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6olU1D70eys

To say that a marriage is perfect w/o any ups or downs is crazy. We all have our bad days. Just so happen today is one of mine.

I did not read any of the other comments on this thread so if this feels like a personal attack it really is not. I am just answering the posters question and really not in the mood to argue or fight or bicker with anyone here today. Just really not in a good mood at all.

anywoman dat says she does not wish to be single for one second,is a liar

pretenders,naija women can pretend,haba

Of course yes!

ayomifull:

Of course yes!

na fight?

A professor once said that the reason why women rejoice greatly during their weddings while the men keep a straight faces was because, the woman feels like:"oh, at last I have nailed him!" and the man laments:"Oh, what a fool I have been; trouble was on its own and I went to buy it for myself, now I'm no longer going to be free!"

The question is: Do you sometimes wish you weren't married or that your marital status could be suspended even for just a few hours? Please sincere answers will be appreciated.

Sometimes when you're asked to explain who's  that lady you were talking to, or why that girl so friendly to you or even who was the girl I saw you with?

When you're innocent is as clear as a day light and you haven't done anyting  wrong.

wt a topic!!!

u lot are makin marriage seem scary. . .

Moyola:

wt a topic!!!

u lot are makin marriage seem scary. . .

marriage is not scary. . . . it has its ups and downs like anyother relationship, just with marriage you make it work cuz you just dont walk away like you do when you are dating.

Marriage should not be entered into lightly and you should consider if this person that you are marrying is someone that despite/inspite of all of thier faults you will still love them, want to be with them and willing to share your ups and downs.

When things are wonderful they are wonderful, trust me, just the begining of this week i was floating on cloud nine. But when they are down they are down, trust me this morning is a bad one. But this too shall pass and as long as God is in my marriage there is nothing that the three of us can not overcome.

When you choose the right person it is wonderful, blissfull but you are sure to run into the potholes from time to time.

Moyola:

wt a topic!!!

u lot are makin marriage seem scary. . .  

sweetie its not scary,its just sm things u used to do will be limited

take for instance,i love wearing dis black boxers shorts to school then and all dis tight skirts once in a while though,everything has stopped now,i only wear them wen hes not around but i dare not try it wen hes around,if not the clothes will be subjected to scissors cutting

jennykadri:

sweetie its not scary,its just sm things u used to do will be limited

take for instance,i love wearing this black boxers shorts to school then and all this tight skirts once in a while though,everything has stopped now,i only wear them when hes not around but i dare not try it when hes around,if not the clothes will be subjected to scissors cutting

hehe. . .

kant u talk him in2 lettin u wear such in his presence?

ANd i think when one is married one wuld hv more opportunity 2 do what d£y want, all one has to do is ask 4 permission. . . .abi?


Marrige this, marriage that!! ahan kilode?. . . . stop scaring me o!!

Moyola:

hehe. . .

kant u talk him in2 lettin u wear such in his presence?

ANd i think when one is married one wuld hv more opportunity 2 do what d£y want, all one has to do is ask 4 permission. . . .abi?


Marrige this, marriage that!! ahan kilode?. . . . stop scaring me o!!

he has no problem wen i wear it athome,the only problem is wearing it out,the thing almost gave d poor guy heart attack,i had to stop

Buy a hijab 

KarmaMod:

Buy a hijab 

heavens forbid bad thing karma haba

...

chaircover:


Sorry I disagree.

I have been married for quite a while and have never for once wished I was single again. I love being married & I just love my husband and children so much and wouldn't want to spend a day going back to being a spinster.

Yes hubby & I have the odd off day, usually when then the tone of voice isn't quite right and it hits the wrong nerve but certainly nothing to want me to start wondering If I have done the right thing. Why would I want to swap certainty, security & sincere love for the "is he serious or not" questions & complicated relationships we used to sometimes find ourselves in.

Having said that my husband and I got married at the right time in our lives when we were both ready to settle down. If I had met my husband when I was 18, I wouldn't have married him. Both of you have to be ready for the marriage to work.

Yes my life is cramped with sorting out homework, school uniforms, lunch money, sorting out squabbles between the kids, having to watch sky sports when I rather be watching Nollywood Movies, giving up my daily rice eating ritual, having to readjust the drivers seat everytime hubby drives my car, losing a favourite outfit because "dry cleaning only garment" managed to find itself into the washing machine at 90 degrees, a daughter who hides the remote control because she wants to watch cartoons and a son who demolishes my potted plants when playing football in the garden, but I just love it. I was born to be married

Lets have some positive responses about marriage. It is a gift from God.

and sorry i still stand by my word,anybody that says he/she has never felt like being single for one second is a liar

chaircover:


Sorry I disagree.

I have been married for quite a while and have never for once wished I was single again. I love being married & I just love my husband and children so much and wouldn't want to spend a day going back to being a spinster.

Yes hubby & I have the odd off day, usually when then the tone of voice isn't quite right and it hits the wrong nerve but certainly nothing to want me to start wondering If I have done the right thing. Why would I want to swap certainty, security & sincere love for the "is he serious or not" questions & complicated relationships we used to sometimes find ourselves in.

Having said that my husband and I got married at the right time in our lives when we were both ready to settle down. If I had met my husband when I was 18, I wouldn't have married him. Both of you have to be ready for the marriage to work.

Yes my life is cramped with sorting out homework, school uniforms, lunch money, sorting out squabbles between the kids, having to watch sky sports when I rather be watching Nollywood Movies, giving up my daily rice eating ritual, having to readjust the drivers seat everytime hubby drives my car, losing a favourite outfit because "dry cleaning only garment" managed to find itself into the washing machine at 90 degrees, a daughter who hides the remote control because she wants to watch cartoons and a son who demolishes my potted plants when playing football in the garden, but I just love it. I was born to be married

Lets have some positive responses about marriage. It is a gift from God.

If you re-read some of the responses you will find positive words and responses about marriage.

sistawoman:

If you re-read some of the responses you will find positive words and responses about marriage.

u took that right out of my mouth

seriously we all know that marriage is a gift from God,but at d same time we should  not make it look as if its so perfect,ive noticed that people talk more about the positive part and leave out the negative part

i love my home,i love my husband,my kids r d best thing that has ever happened to me,so also sisawoman and queenisha and many others,but at d same time they r a lot fo single girls here,enough of making it seem as if marriage is rice and chicken,they should also be told about the other part of word marriage,so that when they r going into it,they will keep in mind wt they r going into, smtimes one can get overly exhausted wt things

marriage is a blessing and a gift,but at d same time it has its other sides

...

chaircover:

jennykadri you don't know me, my history or my family so can't automatically say I am a liar. You can speculate but can't be 100% certain. Certainly, I know myself a lot better than you know me.

If I tell you that I have never for once wanted to be single in the years that I have been married then so be it. Yes hubby & I have our ups and downs as stated in my post but not enough for me to want to go back and be single, single to do what? Do you know what I went through as a single girl?

There are a lot of people on this forum who are genuinely confused and want answers to their questions about marriage and are not sure whether they should go for it or not. For some people this is the only place they can ask their questions anonymously, saving them embarrassment. Someone asked a question and I answered it as truthfully as I can. The fact that my answer doesn't match up with yours doesn't mean I am a liar. You should learn to have trust in people.

I dont mean to call you a lier, but you cant tell me that there has not been one second where you have thought, please just give me a minunte to myself.

Please let me relax just one second. Dam why cant he get that himself. Where is hubby i need a break? Dam-it I just want to hear my own thoughts w/o these kids, husband running around?

come on

...

I dont think any of us want "out" really but we think for that split second what it was like before the extra responsibility. Then we get over it and pull the kids apart, prepare dinner and kiss our husbands.

I compare it to my passing thought of having another baby. I see a pregnant woman, or see a new baby and think of what it was like when mine were born and think i want i want another one then that thought passes and i am grateful that my baby is 6 and can dress himself, feed himself and bathe himself.

It is all a passing thought. I dont regret for one moment marring my husband or having my children but sometimes, every once in a while, we what it just to be all about us.

And that my dear is human nature esp. for those of that nurture the most.

chaircover:

Sorry Maybe I am misunderstanding the question.

Yes I do have moments when I am spinning around and I sometimes feel over whelmed with all the things that need my attention at the same time but not to the extent that I would want out of the marriage & go back to being single.

the problem wt sm pple on dis forum,is seeing d negative part of every question and not bothering to read it properly and absolve it in d mind b4 replying

nobody wants to go back to singlehood,i love my family,d question is wanting to give urself a break smtimes