gbolabodada:

Trust me, you will be fine. There is a reason you are facing whatsoever you are dealing with and I believe your family do not also wish you bad in your present situation. Just put your faith in God and I assure you that, this shall also pass away.... It's just a matter of faith and positive vibes. Be strong

Thank you for the assurance

Vijuchoco:

Oh dear! I'm in a similar situation and my family isn't even helping..
I just feel like running far away from them.

Well , I really have seen over time , that introverts have an uncanny ability to "think" themselves out of situations and they also have been blessed with inner strength to handle situations without or with help from loved ones , friends and relatives. Introverts usually don't seek help and over time build that capacity to grow inner strength.

You are going through a process, where later in life people will draw inspiration and strength from you. Introverts usually dont find people to support them so your build has to be tough on the inside , this is the process you are going through. Seek friendships with limited number of people and hopefully you will find that person who has a like mind and will support you through this learning process.

DO not depend on family or people you will help , they will likely not do same for you...depend on God who will raise help for you from the unknown sources.

this is very important and I believe at the end of the day , you will be better for it.

Olarewajub:
Introvert comes from Latin intro- , "inward," and vertere , "turning." It describes a person who tends to turn inward mentally. Introverts sometimes avoid large groups of people, feeling more energized by time alone.

Introversion is at its root a type of temperament. It is not the same as shyness or having a withdrawn personality, and it is not pathological. It is also not something you can change. But you can learn to work with it, not against it.


Introvert Facts

• 75 percent of the world is extroverted.

• Being introverted affects all areas of your life.

• Nothing is wrong with you.

• Introverts feel drained and overstimulated.

• Being introverted is something to be celebrated.


Common Introversion Traits

Introversion is marked by a number of sub-traits:

1. Very self-aware

2. Thoughtful

3. Enjoys understanding details

4. Interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding

5. Tends to keep emotions private

6. Quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people

7. More sociable and gregarious around people they know well

8. Learns well through observation.


Introverts Library

1. Quiet by Susan Cain

2. Success as an Introvert for Dummies by Joan Pastor

3. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe, PhD

4. Introverts in Love by Sophia Dembling

5. The Awakened Introvert by Arnie Kozak

6. The Irresistible Introvert by Michaela Chung

7. Quiet Influence by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD

8. The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.

9. The Introvert Entrepreneur by Beth Buelow

10. Quiet Power: The Secret Strength of Introverted Kids by Susan Cain

11. Introvert Doodles by Maureen “Marzi” Wilson


Helpful Links

1. https://studentship.com.ng/happy-introvert/

2. https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-are-an-introvert-2795427

3. https://introvertdear.com/what-is-an-introvert-definition/

4. https://www.lifehack.org/302237/5-reasons-why-blogging-good-for-introverts

5. https://www.thecut.com/2015/06/apparently-there-are-four-kinds-of-introversion.html

6. https://time.com/5373403/surprising-benefits-introvert/

7. https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-happy-need/

8. https://agileleanlife.com/a-success-guide-for-all-introverts/

9. https://gulfnews.com/lifestyle/the-secret-power-of-introverts-1.1038171

10. https://www.insider.com/introvert-struggles-doodles-2017-2

Quiet people are often found to have profound insights.
The shallow water in a brook or river runs fast:
The deep water seems calmer.

—JAMES ROGERS



Are you an introvert? If yes, this is definitely the place to be.
What are your challenges as an introvert and are you happy about your introversion?



P.S=> Extrovert- Keep Off.



Welcome to Nairaland Introverts Lounge

I

Good write up

Abeg who can help me with a website where I can download free pdf books.

Pdfdrive no longer downloads books

white3663:
Abeg who can help me with a website where I can download free pdf books.

Pdfdrive no longer downloads books

Z library

Honestly as everything has it ups and downs or ad/disadvantages so does introversion and it will be difficult and destructive as you go inward cut yourself from people your left with nothing except few hobbies and the onslaught of the voices in your head, the judgement,speculation,imaginations, and the worst kind of emotions like anger, resentment, bitterness, worry, anxiety, and ultimately depression you will be faced with your own ignorance and malevolence, which will require you to either learn what does things are and put them under control or suffer the pain they inflict on you, for me after so many years being anxious and in my own head i learned to dis-identify from my own mind i learned to control my thoughts and emotions i learned to live by my self no remorse no criticism I Don't hate myself i don't love self i am just me i laid my life down and humbled myself i rid my self of the dis-ease of EGO, PRIDE, COMPARISON and COMPETITION, replace them with empowerment, encouragement, support and celebration i stopped out sourcing those emotions to other people i give them to myself this is not selfishness but a selfless state of being, i read books everyday for the last two years, notable mentions of some of the books that had impact on my are life

( braking the habit of being yourself, your the placebo, becoming supernatural, evolve your brain all written by DR JOE DISPENZA)

( ego is the enemy, stillness is key, obstacles is the way, by RYAN HOLIDAY)

(power of now BY ECKHART TOLLE)

(the 5am club BY ROBIN SHARMA)

(mindset by CAROL S DWECK)

(thinking fast and slow by DANIEL KAHNEMAN)

(atomic habits by JAMES CLAY)

and others like blink, maps of meaning, 12 rules of life, 48 laws of power, mastery, talent is overrated, peak, do hard things, the prince, frames of mind, rich dad poor dad, how to win friends and influence people, how to talk to anyone, talk like ted, surrounded by idiots, what everyobe is saying, hoe to analyze people e.t.c ...........

I might go on and on and on this are the few i can come with now,

My message in this long write up is this ( don't think to yourself your cursed or anything introversion as i said has it own nightmares don't just think to yourself that your now an introvert not a peoples person identify with a mind made fictitious entity an illusory identity an image in your mind that you need to defend no use that and learn how you tick as the saying goes POWER OVER OTHERS IS WeakNESS DISGUISE AS STRENGTH TRUE POWER IS WITHIN.

Im not saying you should be an extrovert but deal with all kind of FEAR be free in your head,.

I quited my job last year and have all the time to myself to study i have like only 2 friends off social media except NL and whatsapp saved all my contacts to google deleted them on phone so i dont watch whatsapp statuses, i bought a ball to play and exercise when im bored dedicated 3 hrs for reading daily

Perfect life of an introvert but believe me if tell you this I've never felt so free and alive as this last few years i dealt with all negativity and bad habits no more FEAR.


i hope to inspire even one person with my write up.

final advise

READ BOOKS.

muhamadnur:
Honestly as everything has it ups and downs or ad/disadvantages so does introversion and it will be difficult and destructive as you go inward cut yourself from people your left with nothing except few hobbies and the onslaught of the voices in your head, the judgement,speculation,imaginations, and the worst kind of emotions like anger, resentment, bitterness, worry, anxiety, and ultimately depression you will be faced with your own ignorance and malevolence, which will require you to either learn what does things are and put them under control or suffer the pain they inflict on you, for me after so many years being anxious and in my own head i learned to dis-identify from my own mind i learned to control my thoughts and emotions i learned to live by my self no remorse no criticism I Don't hate myself i don't love self i am just me i laid my life down and humbled myself i rid my self of the dis-ease of EGO, PRIDE, COMPARISON and COMPETITION, replace them with empowerment, encouragement, support and celebration i stopped out sourcing those emotions to other people i give them to myself this is not selfishness but a selfless state of being, i read books everyday for the last two years, notable mentions of some of the books that had impact on my are life

( braking the habit of being yourself, your the placebo, becoming supernatural, evolve your brain all written by DR JOE DISPENZA)

( ego is the enemy, stillness is key, obstacles is the way, by RYAN HOLIDAY)

(power of now BY ECKHART TOLLE)

(the 5am club BY ROBIN SHARMA)

(mindset by CAROL S DWECK)

(thinking fast and slow by DANIEL KAHNEMAN)

(atomic habits by JAMES CLAY)

and others like blink, maps of meaning, 12 rules of life, 48 laws of power, mastery, talent is overrated, peak, do hard things, the prince, frames of mind, rich dad poor dad, how to win friends and influence people, how to talk to anyone, talk like ted, surrounded by idiots, what everyobe is saying, hoe to analyze people e.t.c ...........

I might go on and on and on this are the few i can come with now,

My message in this long write up is this ( don't think to yourself your cursed or anything introversion as i said has it own nightmares don't just think to yourself that your now an introvert not a peoples person identify with a mind made fictitious entity an illusory identity an image in your mind that you need to defend no use that and learn how you tick as the saying goes POWER OVER OTHERS IS WeakNESS DISGUISE AS STRENGTH TRUE POWER IS WITHIN.

Im not saying you should be an extrovert but deal with all kind of FEAR be free in your head,.

I quited my job last year and have all the time to myself to study i have like only 2 friends off social media except NL and whatsapp saved all my contacts to google deleted them on phone so i dont watch whatsapp statuses, i bought a ball to play and exercise when im bored dedicated 3 hrs for reading daily

Perfect life of an introvert but believe me if tell you this I've never felt so free and alive as this last few years i dealt with all negativity and bad habits no more FEAR.


i hope to inspire even one person with my write up.

final advise

READ BOOKS.

Thank you so much God bless!

A lot of people claim to be introverted but I've never met anyone as introverted as me. The best I've seen is like 60% compared to me.

All my life, I've always known that I'm different, very different from everyone else. There is something that everyone else have in common that I don't seem to have.

How do you deal with your partner and his family thinking you’re weird/have mental problems because you’re reserved.

I don’t really have a lot of friends
I don’t really like greeting people
I don’t like calling or being around people.

The more I try the more i fall back. I think it’s affecting my son too. Even to the point my partner called me autistic.

My personality is really hurting me.

Babe1994:
How do you deal with your partner and his family thinking you’re weird/have mental problems because you’re reserved.

I don’t really have a lot of friends
I don’t really like greeting people
I don’t like calling or being around people.

The more I try the more i fall back. I think it’s affecting my son too. Even to the point my partner called me autistic.

My personality is really hurting me.

I want to say that your partner should be aware and used to the kind of person you are by now but I sometimes surprise myself with my new levels of introversion.

Here is what you can do. Accept that you are weird. There is no such thing as normal only majority. You are different from the majority, therefore you are weird. Accept that.

Then try to work on yourself. For example, I can go weeks without calling my immediate family and they are used to that but people I just met and are still trying to create friendship with expect me to call or chat them up regularly. It is against my nature. So what I do is this. If I know it is important to you that I call or we chat, I create a timetable for it. More like a schedule and I try to stick with it. That way, everyone is happy.

As for friends, many of us don't have many, some only have one and others don't have any. My view is that the maximum number of friends I can have and sustain at a time is one. Right now, I don't have any but you have your partner. Your partner needs to do more because you can't do it by yourself.

I hate randomly greeting people especially via calls or chats. Even physically, I can only greet you once per day. Unless we have something to discuss, why should I message you good morning. But as you know there are people who need that to feel important or even alive. You can make it one of the chores you have to do for peace to rain or you can choose vawulence.

Apart from going out, the only other thing that drains my energy faster than the speed of light is calls. Especially from unknown persons or unscheduled calls. Even planned calls give me anxiety. I don't know the remedy to this one. What I do know though is that there are some people whose calls actually recharge my battery. These are the ones I can initiate the call. Unfortunately they are scarce and they rarely call too.

Same applies to being around people. It is a waste of time, 90 percent of the time. But I can assure you that when you find your people, you may even like being around them more than you like being by yourself. I know that seems like crazy talk considering how we introverts like being by ourselves. Unfortunately, many of us never find our people because we haven't found ourselves yet. Anyways for the sake of your relationship, you have to try. In Africa, you don't marry a person but the entire family.

The only thing harder than being an introvert is being a child and an introvert at the same time. You aren't quite sure what is wrong with you but you know paracetamol won't cure it. It is a lonely feeling. You and your partner need to work together for your son's sake. You two are most likely his only friends. Help him understand that there is nothing wrong with him. He doesn't have to be like every other child. Also I need to point out that it is possible you are actually autistic. It was much later in life I realized that some of the things I attributed to being an introvert is actually something else entirely. Like Selective Mutism (SM), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Autism and so on. I had severe selective mutism as I child but I thought it was shyness because that was what the adults and my mates called it. My point is, even if you are autistic it is not something that should make you love yourself any less. Like I said before, your partner needs to do better.

In summary, you dedicate one day of the week to be like everybody else, do what is expected of you, following you schedule. Have it at the back of your mind that it is just once a week. Let your partner in on the plan also. He should be able to cover for you the rest of the week.

The purpose of knowing your personality is not for you to live your entire life inside that box. You don't say this is how I'm supposed to behave in this situation as an introvert. The purpose of knowing your personality is to understand why you act the way you do. You don't get to choose your personality but you can make the decision every once in a while, to live life outside the box. In the end, it is not your personality that determines who you are, it is your choices. Obviously it will be hard going against your nature, maybe even impossible. So what you can do instead is to pick one day of the week to live outside the box. This will be the day you call all those that you need to call and visit all that you need to visit and greet all that needs greeting. The rest of the week you get to be your true self and don't let anybody make you feel less for it. Especially your partner. Remember you are not alone.

Babe1994:
How do you deal with your partner and his family thinking you’re weird/have mental problems because you’re reserved.

I don’t really have a lot of friends
I don’t really like greeting people
I don’t like calling or being around people.

The more I try the more i fall back. I think it’s affecting my son too. Even to the point my partner called me autistic.

My personality is really hurting me.

It's not just do your thing. Don't change for anyone and love you husband irrespective of how introverted you could claim to be. If he's okay with you then you really do not owe any one an explanation.

muhamadnur:

I might go on and on and on this are the few i can come with now,

My message in this long write up is this ( don't think to yourself your cursed or anything introversion as i said has it own nightmares don't just think to yourself that your now an introvert not a peoples person identify with a mind made fictitious entity an illusory identity an image in your mind that you need to defend no use that and learn how you tick as the saying goes POWER OVER OTHERS IS WeakNESS DISGUISE AS STRENGTH TRUE POWER IS WITHIN.

Im not saying you should be an extrovert but deal with all kind of FEAR be free in your head,.

I quited my job last year and have all the time to myself to study i have like only 2 friends off social media except NL and whatsapp saved all my contacts to google deleted them on phone so i dont watch whatsapp statuses, i bought a ball to play and exercise when im bored dedicated 3 hrs for reading daily

Perfect life of an introvert but believe me if tell you this I've never felt so free and alive as this last few years i dealt with all negativity and bad habits no more FEAR.


i hope to inspire even one person with my write up.

final advise

READ BOOKS.

Thanks for your input, it's helpful.

Since you quit your job and dedicated time to books and exercise, how are you living??
Where are you seeing money from?😂

Babe1994:
How do you deal with your partner and his family thinking you’re weird/have mental problems because you’re reserved.

I don’t really have a lot of friends
I don’t really like greeting people
I don’t like calling or being around people.

The more I try the more i fall back. I think it’s affecting my son too. Even to the point my partner called me autistic.

My personality is really hurting me.

Leave that your partner for your own good

Find someone that relates with you on a deeper level

Good morning family members and fellow INTROS. Let's all just remember ,being an introvert doesn't akin to being ;sumb, foolish,ignorant, snubber,etc.Being an introvert displays you as a special one,a person with dignity and class coupled with good aroma of strong identity. We all must begin to gradually outgrow/modify our character as we age.Been an Academia for decades ,I can tell you we experienceand have to deal with this traits from different groups and individuals than most sector of influence all over the world .But I also have found out that what many of call "introversion " is nothing but shear ignorance and lack of sound guidance from parents at first ,then the stake holders around in our lives. WHY SHOULD A 17YR OLD PASS BY HIS FATHERS OLD AGE IN THE WEE HRS OF THE DAY without "saying good morning papa*all in the name of been an introvert !!what do we call this in a sane community ?

DyingFetus:




Leave that your partner for your own good

Find someone that relates with you on a deeper level

and even if they are married sir ?? She is the one a bit weird here sir, and society terms It that way. She needs to modify and grow up o!! Even a co-introvert like her won't totally come to terms with that.Inlaws and fam members are complaining about her attitude of been snubbish and less concerned !!u should know we are Africans we do not stay in isolation sir!u are gonna cause lots of trouble on your self. With this attitude ..Imagine the spouse dies !! Do YOU KNOW WHAT SHES GONNA GO THROUGH IN D HANDS OF THE INLAWS ??EVEN HER OWN FAM MAMBERS will not support her.MY ADVICE : LET HER MODIFY,GET TIME TO ALWAYS RECHARGE HELP HER HUSSY TO UNDERSTAND HER KIND OF TEMPERAMENT .

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
Is it a must that all men especially only sons must marry & not do some kind of work that will expose your life to danger? Even If i must marry why can't i do it on my own terms & time?... Have been missing work just so I can think properly & make an informed decision. But i can't even think. I end up taking some highness.. Then i will be like let me just block & blacklist everybody(family members) who else dey dis table abeg?

You should be happy if your family are setting you up with someone

DyingFetus:
You should be happy if your family are setting you up with someone

Thanks bro. But i neva wan marry

OkpaNsukkaisBae:



Thanks bro. But i neva wan marry

You sure say you no get spiritual wife or perhaps you like man

DyingFetus:
You sure say you no get spiritual wife or perhaps you like man

None of the above

Jack273:
A lot of people claim to be introverted but I've never met anyone as introverted as me. The best I've seen is like 60% compared to me.

All my life, I've always known that I'm different, very different from everyone else. There is something that everyone else have in common that I don't seem to have.

Oh really? What is it? Also is there an introvert WhatsApp group I can join?

DyingFetus:



You sure say you no get spiritual wife or perhaps you like man

Even if he likes men, I don't think he'll admit it

Lovecars501:

Oh really? What is it? Also is there an introvert WhatsApp group I can join?

I don't know what it is. That's the problem.

Sorry, I don't know of any WhatsApp group.

Lovecars501:

Oh really? What is it? Also is there an introvert WhatsApp group I can join?

There used to be a telegram group for introverts here

DyingFetus:


There used to be a telegram group for introverts here

Really? Is it still available?

OPEN INVITATION

Are you interested in joining a group like a family(online family)that you can talk to and relate we? We don't judge... We have created a group where you can be yourself. I can tell you for sure that you will learn, and grow in every aspect most importantly spiritually. We do
have interesting and educating discussion game night, and prayer session. We meet every Friday, Saturday and Sunday by 8:50pm on WhatsApp. So let me specially invite you to join SAFE HAVEN.
Chat us on WhatsApp 07047991156

Lovecars501:

Oh really? What is it? Also is there an introvert WhatsApp group I can join?

Yes.
A group moderated by YemiAkins

Albertone:


Yes.
A group moderated by YemiAkins

Great! Please how can I get an entry link?

Lol it still take days to respond to requests and messages,

U guys

gidjah:
Good morning family members and fellow INTROS. Let's all just remember ,being an introvert doesn't akin to being ;sumb, foolish,ignorant, snubber,etc.Being an introvert displays you as a special one,a person with dignity and class coupled with good aroma of strong identity. We all must begin to gradually outgrow/modify our character as we age.Been an Academia for decades ,I can tell you we experienceand have to deal with this traits from different groups and individuals than most sector of influence all over the world .But I also have found out that what many of call "introversion " is nothing but shear ignorance and lack of sound guidance from parents at first ,then the stake holders around in our lives. WHY SHOULD A 17YR OLD PASS BY HIS FATHERS OLD AGE IN THE WEE HRS OF THE DAY without "saying good morning papa*all in the name of been an introvert !!what do we call this in a sane community ?

I don't agree with the part below

I can tell you we experienceand have to deal with this traits from different groups and individuals than most sector of influence all over the world .But I also have found out that what many of call "introversion " is nothing but shear ignorance and lack of sound guidance from parents at first ,then the stake holders around in our lives.


I strongly believe I troverts are special and its not ignorance or training that leads to introversion in all cases. Yes this may have an impact in moulding the character but indeed an introverted person does not mean he or she would not greet. The issue is an introvert would rather not greet but when forced to , will greet. Not greeting is a cultural and upbringing matter.