deeobserver209: This would be difficult. Don't see it happening anytime soon. Nigerian women don't have the balls to propose.

I would, and I'm very much Nigerian.
I think people are seeing this as a big issue. Because the average guy would not like to be proposed to, I would simply do it in a way that doesn't shout "proposal!"
I don't actually have to say the words - Will you marry me?

Kimmo:

I would, and I'm very much Nigerian.
I think people are seeing this as a big issue. Because the average guy would not like to be proposed to, I would simply do it in a way that doesn't shout "proposal!"
I don't actually have to say the words - Will you marry me?

Please how will you say it

babyosisi:

Please how will you say it

First, I'll avoid any drama. No silly ring or anything related. We'll probably be seated on a sofa and home alone, just chatting bou nothing important.
So I'll switch the mood, insert some mild caresses just enough to mellow, but not to become serious pre-intimacy and say something along these lines.

Guy, we've come this far, I love you and I feel We're at the point where we can build a happy life together. What do you think?/What do you say?
It's all in the delivery.

Kimmo:

I would, and I'm very much Nigerian.
I think people are seeing this as a big issue. Because the average guy would not like to be proposed to, I would simply do it in a way that doesn't shout "proposal!"
I don't actually have to say the words - Will you marry me?

You seem to be a very sharp babe but if tell me that I will run!

expert101:

You seem to be a very sharp babe but if tell me that I will run!

Lol. . . Na relationship discussion e go be na. If babe mention the M word na invitation to jilting be that.

Kimmo:


First, I'll avoid any drama. No silly ring or anything related. We'll probably be seated on a sofa and home alone, just chatting bou nothing important.
So I'll switch the mood, insert some mild caresses just enough to mellow, but not to become serious pre-intimacy and say something along these lines.

Guy, we've come this far, I love you and I feel We're at the point where we can build a happy life together. What do you think?/What do you say?
It's all in the delivery.

And then then he says,baby,I hear you
I hear you
You know I love you.

You have just been turned down right there in a polite way

What next!
Start crying?
Take his picture to spiritual church
Try again?
Or angrily get up from the sofa and pack your things?
Plan to burn his things
Or turn to a biaitch

When a man is ready he will propose to the one he loves
Simple
If he hasn't proposed he is not ready
That is why a woman can move in and turn to maid and bedmate for three years waiting for a ring and the man meets another girl and proposes to her in months.
He wasn't ready for marriage and the one he had wasn't his match

I don't know if you grew up with brothers
Men don't like to hurt the emotions of girls they love and care for
So they will play along sometimes just not to hurt her deeply and the girl will be expecting a ring that will never come
Why cheapen yourself to propose?

Let him do it

Kimmo:

Lol. . . Na relationship discussion e go be na. If babe mention the M word na invitation to jilting be that.

It is good that there is a deep sense of connection and understanding between both parties otherwise some juvies here will misinterpret the message and go proposing to any dude on the street thereby making the matter worse

@babyosis you are just giving excuses. Ordinary propose you no fit do. After na you go come dey form equality for marriage.

expert101:

You seem to be a very sharp babe but if tell me that I will run!

My own brother went to naija to spend some time,find a job in Abuja and see if he could settle there
One girl saw him and wanted to get married
She gave him a car to drive
Seriously,a car
Supplied him with money
E remain make e carry wine come my compound
Another one was cooking and bringing
A third one was already getting close to my family
The day it dawned on the one wey giam car that he just wanted to play,if you see the speed she used to come and collect her car eh

Yes I have one playa brother
I am asking the Holy Ghost to arrest him and set him free from womanizing

babyosisi:

And then then he says,baby,I hear you
I hear you
You know I love you.

You have just been turned down right there in a polite way

What next!
Start crying?
Try again?
Or angrily get up from the sofa and pack your things?
Plan to burn his things
Or turn to a biaitch

When a man is ready he will propose to the one he loves

Yes, and? I prompt him. If he has nothing concrete to say, then I start moving on, small small.
I don't have time for nonsense drama. I'll be sad in my own house, and get over it at some point in the future. It's really more of an invitation to propose than an outright proposal.
If he gives me the runaround, and I honestly cannot see any hindrance to his marrying me, then it's time to start looking for a new man.
Usually, when it's time to propose and a man doesn't, (all things being equal) he won't.

i find it very funny how women want men to continue to pamper their ego (i dont have a problem with that) but will be the first to shout "i think we should stop papering men's ego so that they can grow up" in the spirit of feminism.

Kimmo:
Yes, and? I prompt him. If he has nothing concrete to say, then I start moving on, small small.
I don't have time for nonsense drama. I'll be sad in my own house, and get over it at some point in the future. It's really more of an invitation to propose than an outright proposal.
If he gives me the runaround, and I honestly cannot see any hindrance to his marrying me, then it's time to start looking for a new man.
Usually, when it's time to propose and a man doesn't, (all things being equal) he won't.

Then you find a new man with the right specs,you repeat the sofa scenario and propose again abi
Of you would have learned a lesson?

craziebone: @babyosis you are just giving excuses. Ordinary propose you no fit do. After na you go come dey form equality for marriage.

I am old fashioned o
Men are used to be being turned down and they deal with it as men and try again
That is part of manhood
How man go turn me down ?
Tua
I will propose and he will say,baby allow me to think about it

I will nearly quench

I actually have a friend that asked her boyfriend the marriage question and he asked her to give him 12-18 months
If she had a dagger,she would have stabbed him there
She was so bitter and felt she had wasted years with this man
But it was good she saved herself more time wasting

So Perhaps a woman who is unsure and wants to put a closure to a relationship so can find where she really stands should do it rather than waste more time

But really After 6 months with a man who is a marriage material,a girl with some intelligence should know if that relationship is heading anywhere

make una just sit down here dey give excuses. "what if he turns you down?" "what if he does this" "what if he does that" "what if..." "what if..."

let ask you ladies a question, what about the times we propose and you turn us down? Na man good to turn down but e no good to turn woman down abi?

If you propose and he turns you down, then you just move on with your life.

craziebone: make una just sit down here dey give excuses. "what if he turns you down?" "what if he does this" "what if he does that" "what if..." "what if..."

let ask you ladies a question, what about the times we propose and you turn us down? Na man good to turn down but e no good to turn woman down abi?

If you propose and he turns you down, then you just move on with your life.

You folks are used to being turned down right from primary school
It is part of the hunt
We are not used to it

babyosisi:

Then you find a new man with the right specs,you repeat the sofa scenario and propose again abi
Of you would have learned a lesson?

I sense an insult somewhere there, and I think I need to say that this is my hypothetical proposal and life.
To ur Q, I'm not likely to date a wimp, and if I do attempt a proposal, I'll ensure I don't deflate his ego while I'm at it. If I'm in a relationship that should be going somewhere and it isn't, I'll ask my partner.
Like I said, it's more an invitation to proposal.
So if he does turn me down, it won't be because I "proposed" to him.

Kimmo:

I sense an insult somewhere there, and I think I need to say that this is my hypothetical proposal and life.
To ur Q, I'm not likely to date a wimp, and if I do attempt a proposal, I'll ensure I don't deflate his ego while I'm at it. If I'm in a relationship that should be going somewhere and it isn't, I'll ask my partner.
Like I said, it's more an invitation to proposal.
So if he does turn me down, it won't be because I "proposed" to him.

Asking a man to marry you smells of desperation
That is all I am trying to say
Don't do it
If the relationship seems not to be going anywhere,you already know it's not going anywhere so why push it to where it ain't going?
If a man wants you ,he will propose
If he hasn't,you are not the one
Lighting a candle and creating a romantic ambience to make him propose is a desperate move
Let it be his idea

babyosisi:


I am old fashioned o
Men are used to be being turned down and they deal with it as men and try again
That is part of manhood
How man go turn me down ?
Tua
I will propose and he will say,baby allow me to think about it

I will nearly quench

hahaha! Its ok that you are traditional. The word isnt "old fashioned" but "traditional". Since you are traditional, men will treat you traditionally. My problem is with those ladies who will refuse to take his name after marriage for no other reason but women independence; ladies who will want the man to have no say if HIS own child CONCIEVED IN MARRIAGE will be born or not; ladies who will traeten a man that he will never see HIS OWN children again just becos she has the law behind her. These same ladies still want men to do the proposing, defend them in times of trouble and open the door for the etc. Is he your slave?!!!

babyosisi:

You folks are used to being turned down right from primary school
It is part of the hunt
We are not used to it

we were not born with it, my dear. You can acquire the confidence just by doing it the way we do it.

babyosisi:

Asking a man to marry you smells of desperation
That is all I am trying to say
Don't do it

Point of view, I suppose.
I won't stay in a relationship where I want to get married and the man is dragging his feet.

Some hindrance I dnt knw about? Tell me, maybe we can work it out together.

Good enough to date but not marry? Fine, I'll live.

But deceive myself that he'll ask when it might never happen? No.
If he doesn't ask when he should, most likely, he won't.

a woman who proposes to a man isnt desperate. She only knows what she wants and is going after it.

Like i said, if you cant do it, then dont do it. But if you can, then go on ahead.

Kimmo:

Point of view, I suppose.
I won't stay in a relationship where I want to get married and the man is dragging his feet.

Some hindrance I dnt knw about? Tell me, maybe we can work it out together.

Good enough to date but not marry? Fine, I'll live.

But deceive myself that he'll ask when it might never happen? No.
If he doesn't ask when he should, most likely, he won't.

I have asked many married men this question and the answers are always the same
Most men knew they would marry the woman they eventually married within a very short time of meeting her
It doesn't grow on them over time
If the young married men here will speak up,they will collaborate this
Even those who dated a gf for years on campus and eventually married her years later knew within months,sometimes weeks that this was the one.
So I don't even understand all this long term dating when they two people are set in the careers and ready for marriage and 3 years the man hasn't said anything about marriage
12 months dey too long
X3-6 months and there is no move for the girl to meet his family Biko move on

I can speak authoritatively on Igbo culture and men
No Igbo man will introduce any girl he is not serious about to his mother and sisters
That is the true test of his seriousness( maybe not all but the vast majority)
They don't flaunt girlfriends in front of those two,mom and sisters
If you like date him and cohabit with him 5 years,if you have never met his mother and she is alive,you are not the one
Simple
Don't waste your time
If you are the one,he cannot wait to introduce you to the most important women in his life,his mom and older sister ( most especially)


I met my MIL within weeks of meeting my hubby
He couldn't wait for me to meet them
I met his sister first
Then his mom

I told a friend of mine that was non Igbo this truth but out if desperation she gave the man an ultimatum even after meeting his sister and mom and the man ran for deaf life.
Many men are terrified of desperate women or women who appear desperate

@babysisi we do have that feeling even for ladies who will eventually turn us down. This means having that feeing isnt a sure bet that we will end up together.

Dont women have such feelings too? Just within minutes of meeting a man, they know thats the man they will get married to.

craziebone: @babysisi we do have that feeling even for ladies who will eventually turn us down. This means having that feeing isnt a sure bet that we will end up together.

Dont women have such feelings too? Just within minutes of meeting a man, they know thats the man they will get married to.

I can speak for myself
I have written it here many times
I was actually engaged to someone else when I met my husband
We both knew when we met that we were meant to be together and all the love in my heart for the other guy vanished instantaneously
I believe in love at first sight because it happened to me
It was some kind of spiritual connection that this was the one
My friends and our friends couldn't believe it
I couldn't even explain how I fell out of love that quickly,still can't explain it
The only way I describe is that my hubby is like my dad in many ways and I love my dad to pieces so finding a man like dad was like finding the perfect man
People even say my hubby looks like my brothers
The other man pleaded and begged,so did his family and there was no love in my heart for him at all till this day
So sometimes people can know within a short time that a relationship will lead to marriage,I did

My husband proposing was more of a formality and I still did shakara to see how he will react
We already knew it in our hearts that we would be married

babyosisi:

I can speak for myself
I have written it here many times
I was actually engaged to someone else when I met my husband
We both knew when we met that we were meant to be together and all the love in my heart for the other guy vanished instantaneously
I believe in love at sight because it happened to me
It was some kind of spiritual connection that this was the one
My friends and our friends couldn't believe it
I couldn't even explain how I fell out of love that quickly,still can't explain it
The other man pleaded and begged,so did his family and there was no love in my heart for him at all till this day
So sometimes people can know within a short time that a relationship will lead to marriage

My husband proposing was more of a formality and I still did shakara to see how he will react
We already knew it in our hearts that we would be married

you did this even after agreeing to marry him? If na man do this one to you now, you for done turn feminist over night oo!

craziebone:

you did this even after agreeing to marry him? If na man do this one to you now, you for done turn feminist over night oo!

Hahahahaha
I am glad I did o
Until the trip down the aisle,nothing is final
He is now in serious money in Abuja o but no regrets

to you, @babysisi, na men be the right object of rejection abi?

babyosisi:

Hahahahaha
I am glad I did o
Until the trip down the aisle,nothing is final
He is now in serious money in Abuja o but no regrets

i think you are just hiding your regrets. Lol

Tallesty1: The first lady that did something close that to me got NO and the next will get something worse.

Tattooboy: u criosly need 2 grow up

Maybe @talkesty1 likes men #justSaying

Ezedon: Long sermon, u could. ve go straight to the point

R.I.P English

They will not want to propose to men but on the wedding card you will see something like this "Lillian weds Peter.
who is marrying who ??

Let the ladies do their job(proposing)