hotwax:

The bolded is what hopelessly single ladies always want us to see.

However, I am not here to lash single ladies. We all have our problems. Even there are guys out there who are still single.

The problem is multifaceted
1. Some beautiful ladies find it difficult to keep their man. And when they fail, they still go about claiming to be in a relationship. They make people around them believe they in a serious relationship. This is physiologically linked with pride. They don't want people to look at them and say "You are this beautiful and still single. Is there anything wrong with you?". This further creates more problems for them, as men (serious ones) will see them as already engaged whereas, they are single.

2. Promiscuous life:- I have dated a beautiful lady...whenever, she is with me, she answer calls like a customer care personnel. She has like 300 guys on her bbm. She is always on her bbm 24-7. Do you expect me to marry someone like that? Trust me Jibike is still single till now. I have heard she is doing introduction for 3 times, all failing, those guys running away at the end of the day (like I did). Beauty is a gift from God, but if you let it get into your head, you are just a fck meat. I understand, the societal pressure on beautiful girls. Men want to leak their honey pot. But, they are all Market noise (Yoruba adage)

3. Womanhood and value: - If you are beautiful without character, then forget it. No man want to marry a nagging wife who is gonna make his life miserable for the end of his life. I cant marry a woman who will tempt me to beat her.
WHat most ladies dont know is, a moderate (not so beautiful or average) lady with good character is like a Gold. No man will resist that. Sorry to say, men derive the same pleasure from all virgi.nas. So basing marriage on having sex with a beautiful woman is childish. They all have the same hole...and a tight a hole is even better. So a beautiful with loose hole has not value. Men even want to marry a woman that will give him rest of mind. Not a flashy plastic men will be flocking around


I can continue to say on and on and on....

bros na waoo.u just photocopy wetin dey my mind.

Have u heard perfectionism leads to isolation. most single ppl are perfectionist either knowingly or unknowingly most are also d perfectionism traps dem in self-centerdness so they have isolated demsleves

Sanchez01: I consider this a rebuttal to the one you read, unfortunately, I find the argument weak, a little too weak, I'd say. Your thread, though seem to serve as a bit of encouragement to females out there, still, it has failed to tackle the real issue.

No one loves a single, the earlier you understand it, the better. It is okay and maybe believable if a guy says so. I have friends who say they won't think of marriage until 15-20years from now. I'm talking about guys of around 25 years,on the average. And the reason is because they want to run around and explore before being tied down. The story is way different for ladies, at least, I have a bit of understanding, which is; ladies' don't have time on their neck as their male counterpart.



This is Africa, WE ARE BLACK AND OUR IDEOLOGY ABOUT MARRIAGE AND BEING SINGLE IS DIFFERENT FROM THAT OF THE WESTERN WORLD. Marriage, is the ultimate target for every lady in this part of the world. At least, they think so. True, why a lady is single is hers alone but will her parents think so? Her place of worship? Her friends? And even the society? We're superstitious and we hold marriage issues dear to our heart, particularly when it's on the part of the lady. Ladies are subjected to pressure on this part, particularly here, in Nigeria. To verify this, why do ladies feel uneasy when they hit 25? Why do they worry when all they get from guys are the 'boyfriend/girlfriend only zone'? You must understand these things, Dearie.

I never believed the post could get to a lady this much. It was only an opinion and I believe it shouldn't disturb anyone.

What do you refer to as 'western world'?They are only freedom obsessed people.They still can't cheat nature.Whenever I see posts like this,I get infuriated because what is our fvking business on earth when we remain single.Even the 'almighty' Genivive Nnaji confessed being single is not rosy.We should stop thinking reality don't set on 'independent' women of d west,it's just that it's always too late when they realise that having a happy home and experiencing the joys of motherhood is sweeter than a billion dollar career.After freezing their eggs for 20 solid years of futile,selfish and materialistic adventure;they go on to buy sperm and do artificial insemination to give birth to their 20 year old son(pure barstard),a son they might never watch grow.Even 'feminist terrorists' like Chimamanda Adichie have married because they can still reason.POSTS LIKE THESE SHOULDN'T MAKE FRONT PAGE AT THE EXPENSE OF BETTER AND MORE EDUCATIVE ONES(IT IS INCITING,CRUDE AND VERY CONCLUSIVE DISPOSITION)

ideology: Let's not make this post look so personal.

My Dear Mzmycoli, was airing her views and understands better the dimension she was addressing the issue from which makes her opinion right in that direction.

We can turn it to positive and objective discussion.

Some ladies are single for other reasons like :

1. Immediate environment
2. Nature of job.
3 cities where one lives eg Lagos
4. Parental influences, eg I know a lady who had 3 suitors the mum rejected either for tribal reasons or financial status., this is 5years counting since she moved to Lagos, no suitor has showed up again, just last year, her younger sister got married.

Its not always about character or atitude or past lifestyle

Lets find solutions ;
1. E-dating not a bad idea, at least from records, serious ones are
Am expecting more NLDERS wedding from 2016

I agree totally with 3

hotwax:

The bolded is what hopelessly single ladies always want us to see.

However, I am not here to lash single ladies. We all have our problems. Even there are guys out there who are still single.

The problem is multifaceted
1. Some beautiful ladies find it difficult to keep their man. And when they fail, they still go about claiming to be in a relationship. They make people around them believe they in a serious relationship. This is physiologically linked with pride. They don't want people to look at them and say "You are this beautiful and still single. Is there anything wrong with you?". This further creates more problems for them, as men (serious ones) will see them as already engaged whereas, they are single.

2. Promiscuous life:- I have dated a beautiful lady...whenever, she is with me, she answer calls like a customer care personnel. She has like 300 guys on her bbm. She is always on her bbm 24-7. Do you expect me to marry someone like that? Trust me Jibike is still single till now. I have heard she is doing introduction for 3 times, all failing, those guys running away at the end of the day (like I did). Beauty is a gift from God, but if you let it get into your head, you are just a fck meat. I understand, the societal pressure on beautiful girls. Men want to leak their honey pot. But, they are all Market noise (Yoruba adage)

3. Womanhood and value: - If you are beautiful without character, then forget it. No man want to marry a nagging wife who is gonna make his life miserable for the end of his life. I cant marry a woman who will tempt me to beat her.
WHat most ladies dont know is, a moderate (not so beautiful or average) lady with good character is like a Gold. No man will resist that. Sorry to say, men derive the same pleasure from all virgi.nas. So basing marriage on having sex with a beautiful woman is childish. They all have the same hole...and a tight a hole is even better. So a beautiful with loose hole has not value. Men even want to marry a woman that will give him rest of mind. Not a flashy plastic men will be flocking around


I can continue to say on and on and on....

Thank you for number 2

I have never dated an ugly lady anyway.

Number 2 is just their problem.

I even asked the last girl if she thinks I am not handsome, why is she with me, abi can't I be on phone calling ladies too ?

This is the height of illiteracy and insecurity among young ladies. Placing on themselves a false sense of importance that her phone is always busy. " Answering calls that don't pay bills"...

my own question be say: why toto dey smell like crayfish?

Tink I'd like to meet you somtym...

Kachisbarbie: No one generalized the problem of beautiful single ladies to their attitude or deliverance cases...
That doesn't change the fact that beautiful girls(not all) come with a lot of character deformation...
It's ok to console yourself under the umbrella that, marriage ain't everything and all. Marriage has never been everything anyway, but in our society - its importance can't be over-emphasized.

Self-esteem is a personal ish, she shouldn't let anyone treat her less bc of her marital/relationship status...but then I know a lot of single ladies that say this same thing, then secretly be going for prayer sessions.

@OP, listen to this lady. In her words of wisdom, therein lies the help you really need. If she were ugly, I would say, may be, because she is ugly. But then, she is as beautiful and elegant as they come.

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised" (Proverbs 31:30). If you are beautiful and still single when you should be married in reference to your age, something certainly has reduced your chances. What could that be? Your personality is most likely culpable. Good-looking people (not excluding our dandy males) usually promote, invest and pride in their physical appearance while doing little to improve their skills or develop personal traits. Unfortunately they become stranded at crucial points in life when physical appearance means almost nothing and comes far behind real skills and acceptable personality. OP, only if you are not part of this society called Nigeria or Africa would I encourage every overdue beautiful single girl to grab solace in your motivational counsel. Otherwise...it's a lantern without flames in a dark tunnel.
Lastly, as for beautiful singles who should be married already based on their age, I'd advise you sober up, peer into the past, review wasted proposals, purge your personality of excesses, let your physical beauty come second behind your inner beauty...and say a little prayer to your Creator! Expect another golden chance afterwards.

All dis people wey dia ancestors don swear for say dem no go marry because of their bad character..., wey dey sleep with people husband, and people wife dem... How dey want tey get dia own naa... all of una wey dey shuk mouth for dis people matter na una sabi... Any person wey neva marry come dey shuk mouth for dis people matter, make him stop am... Dia case be like EBOLA. leave dia matter for matayase.... wait una no say something dey wrong with dem... if no be Ogbanje e go be Abikuu or Akwukwu(Epilepsy)... Dia cup don full tey tey... D only remedy na for dem to relocate go wia dia ancestors no go see dem... If u see wia dem dey waka for SHOPRITE e go be like say dem no dey shit. Food sef dem no sabi cook, na only indomie dem sabi cook.. Dem plenty for dis Lagos wella.... Nonsense people... dem sabi answer all dis oyibo name dem... like Lizzy, Becky, Shoma, Stephnie, Barbra... Dia men go come dey answer Lewis, Jude, Frenzi, Alex, Richie and Michael. If na for Warri, we for don give dem name tey tey wen i dey small. Na Aunty Rukewe n Uncle Ejiro na we dey call dem...

...... [/quote]...seem lyk some1 I'd lyk 2 meet somtym!

Kachisbarbie: No one generalized the problem of beautiful single ladies to their attitude or deliverance cases...
That doesn't change the fact that beautiful girls(not all) come with a lot of character deformation...
It's ok to console yourself under the umbrella that, marriage ain't everything and all. Marriage has never been everything anyway, but in our society - its importance can't be over-emphasized.

Self-esteem is a personal ish, she shouldn't let anyone treat her less bc of her marital/relationship status...but then I know a lot of single ladies that say this same thing, then secretly be going for prayer sessions.

Karchisbarbie.

I dey find woman like you o. It is very hard as in hard to find a very beautiful lady with sound character. The ones I see are all married before 25. Seriously !

I I'll send you that email so you befriend that lady and teach her for me please.

I see her as a younger sister, since 2011 way I for don do her like I do other ladies, I still dey hold body.

Abeg check your email later. She is hard to understand...

still waiting for mr right wey get plenty money,wey go carry me go america

ERCROSS: The bottom line is that some beautiful Ladies allows their beauties to get into their head...
Their beauty has endowed with so much pride that they don't even know how to give men who are potential husband material some respect.
Most beautiful ladies are not wife material, no cooking skill.. no home care attitude, too materialistic ..
And believe this, it is easier to tag beautiful gurls as hoes than their not-so-beautiful counterparts.

Bros errn, the ones I find have kitchen skills, can cook very well but you will not have peace of mind.

She sees making calls as a hobby, upwards of 50 calls will enter in one day. Open her chat, you see another man calling her baby or honey. They are also very jealous. They don't want another woman come near you..

You talk, she will misinterprete what you said. You have to start explaining again. Chineke mee..

Am i supposed to comment here? Where are the beautiful single ladies sef? The fact is i cant even find or get to meet them. Maybe i am too choosy.

quintybabee: I usually dont comment on post about single ladies and guys stereotypical mind set that the most important thing to ladies is marriage. It will surprise some men that some ladies don't want to be saddled with the resposibility that comes with marriage. I know these are minute compare to the majority who feel their live is meaningless without a mrs attached to their name. To say all babeswant to b married is gross generalisation

not all,guys think d same way deary.marriage is not by force but a choice.if someone is not yet married he can still adopt his or her own child ,and train them .when he/she knws e have wht it takes to bring up a child.

I believe there's actually some pains the Op is trying to use this post to hide cos behind every 'i dont care', there are always a thousand of 'i cares'

on why the b ea u ti ful ones r still single?

1)over estimation of self

2) they would rather see the wealth now than d prospects. and therefore willing to sacrifice future gains for temporal joy

rude n crude

jennylove7575: God knows marriage ain't for me. .I don't believe in spending the rest of my life with one man. Repeating same routine daily. I was watching a TV documentary somedays ago, about how Hungarian families were forcing their kids into marriage at the age of 14yrs. I was indeed gutted at the child abuse..people should be able to have choice...marriage shouldn't be by force but by choice....I recently met this guy on Nairaland, last week we decided to meet up at the Westfield shopping centre...when we met, for 5mins he couldn't say one word. He was startled. When he eventually opened his mouth to speak he said I can't believe am standing with crazy jennylove of Nairaland a very pleasant guy indeed....to be cont......

Phu.ck him now and move on to the next man.

Nah trophy..

Last bullet : You are inviting frustration.

I dated a beauty for 3 solid years. Her problem was as stated in this thread, she never believed she could be under a man till we met. Never knew she liked me sef. Numerous boyfriends she had before we met, I made her lose all. The last one was a tough fight which included beating for the first and only time in history.

After all her shakara, cheating on me, insulting me, harassing me, one day she knelt down in front of me with tears welled up in her eyes asking me to marry her. Omoh, I felt like KING SOLOMON. She cried so bitterly. Boy, I felt for her.

We didn't marry but it wasn't my fault anyway. She is a single mother now from 2 relationships after mine.

Whenever a lady wan start her shakara for me, I normally want her to see that Ex and rate her but I won't tell her the story...

Jenny, stop inviting frustration to your life..

Kachisbarbie:
It's very possible. Some men like to be pushed into marriage, others take the decision by themselves, one can't be entirely sure which type your man is and you end up taking the wrong step.
I have a friend, she is older than me with about 3-4yrs. We weren't so close in sch, but these days we talk well. Everytime another of our friend or coursemate is getting married, even if I'm not aware, she would bring the info to my doorstep. Then she would say something like, 'babe when will I invite you guys o'...

You know @ that point, she is making me uncomfortable with her desperation. I would tell her the advantages of being single and how best she can utilise it...she would say I'm consoling her, whereas I'm only telling her the truth.

Singlehood is actually an opportunity to build ones' carrier, I have a mini-job that doesn't give me the kind of money I dream of - but enough time to take care of my family, because I am tied in a location where things are not happening and I definitely wouldn't leave my family in search of my dream job.

It's actually a two way thing, one can't easily have it all, every single lady out there has to start appreciating it, being married ain't even easy.

Are you consoling yourself cos even many of the highly accomplished women in Nigeria are married.Even it's very hard for a man to build a reasonable career in a country like Nigeria,not to talk of a lady #TalkIsCheap.When you give birth to a child,space the second for about 2 yrs,with a well planned route to the top of your career coupled with the aid of your spouse,with your Mrs identity,your career will blossom. My dear talk beta tin cos being single is not freedom,it only robs off the opportunity of having a soulmate,with whom you can brainstorm and share ideas,provided you both have Christ in you and know the essence of marriage,which I doubt you do.

MizMyColi:

So, I stumbled on a thread on here yesterday on why the “beautiful” ones are still single and the “ugly” ones keep clinching the best mates in town.

I laughed.

I can only imagine the kind of depression it would cause a beautiful guy or lady with different varieties of poor self image or worse still one who just got jilted and vice versa, seeing that post and some comments made there in (especially those who haven’t grown a turtle shell for NL).

The general impression is that, once, according to societal standards, a person is deemed beautiful, he or she couldn’t possibly lack the constant attention and companionship of the opposite sex (same sex in some cases).
It’s even worse for a Nigerian female because she is “supposed” to be married at latest, 25.
If she isn’t, then something must be wrong somewhere.
What about those who are 30, 35 and unmarried
Their own must be a deliverance case!

It won’t be strange finding a lady who is under so much/so little/subtle pressure to tie the knot already or win herself a man (like he is a trophy of sorts) asking herself questions in the lines of:
Why can’t I keep a man?
Am I an Ogbanje?
Am I cursed?
Maybe my stepmother is after my progress?
Is it because I’m not a virgin?
Is it because I’m a virgin?
Maybe I have a smelling character that repels men from afar? (even though she’s consciously working at being better)
Maybe this my dressing is too holy holy
Maybe this my dressing and piercings is/are too Ashi-ish
I could go on and on……..

The opinion of guys, on this subject range from “men are intimidated by her (especially if she’s successful too)”.
“She’s a runs girl” etc.


For me, why a single beautiful girl is single is entirely her business and is not for me or anyone else to puzzle out.
Her being single doesn’t make her less or being engaged make her more.
I say treat ladies with respect, out of the mind-set that they are not incomplete for whatever cause they are single.
Relieve them of the pressure of the lies that they are less without a man in their arms.
#NuffSaid



The quote below might inspire someone out there, so I thought to share here, with permission from my diary:
"I'd rather be the prize you felt you deserved, than be the option you felt forced to settle for. If we BOTH don't feel blessed to have one another, then we shouldn't be together." ~Rob Hill Sr.

If it's entirely her business there would be no need for this thread
The truth is that girls are concerned about getting hitched when they approach a certain age and with time desperation sets in especially past 35.
People shouldn't act like it doesn't bother them,we know it does
The main concern should be why a girl of age who wants to marry has not been able to
What is the real reason men date you and when it comes time for marriage ,they leave you and marry another
I have come to the conclusion that many ladies who are over ripe for marriage and want to marry but are yet unmarried have a hand in their situation
Not all but a majority of them
If they are sincere with themselves,they know this is the naked truth
Any girl who wan marry go marry

daryoor: my own question be say: why toto dey smell like crayfish?

I think its me.....I just don't get the "drills" behind this thread

Tallesty1: Thanks bro, women can lie.

As good as truth...

100Cents:

Bros errn, the ones I find have kitchen skills, can cook very well but you will not have peace of mind.

She sees making calls as a hobby, upwards of 50 calls will enter in one day. Open her chat, you see another man calling her baby or honey. They are also very jealous. They don't want another woman come near you..

You talk, she will misinterprete what you said. You have to start explaining again. Chineke mee..

Lolz...
Those gurls aint loyal..

quintybabee: Dear lord, what have I done, I should have kept my mouth shut. I dont wantto quote anybody but I feel the need to respond.
There are lots of sane and financially satisfied women out there and because theyvrefused to be culturally brainwashed u tag them as feminists and some even believe a man must have broken their heart for them to be like that, cause u believe no woman can have such mindset from the very beginin, that Is wrong assumption

Fear fear, quote somebody and get banned !

Misogynist2014: Are you consoling yourself cos even many of the highly accomplished women in Nigeria are married.Even it's very hard for a man to build a reasonable career in a country like Nigeria,not to talk of a lady #TalkIsCheap.When you give birth to a child,space the second for about 2 yrs,with a well planned route to the top of your career coupled with the aid of your spouse,with your Mrs identity,your career will blossom. My dear talk beta tin cos being single is not freedom,it only robs off the opportunity of having a soulmate,with whom you can brainstorm and share ideas,provided you both have Christ in you and know the essence of marriage,which I doubt you do.

firstly I wish I understood what you typed...but the little i understood, this highly accomplished women you talking about are not my mate, they are even older than my mother...so when I get to that age, you can tell me all this.