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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? (31358 Views)
My Marriage Is Crashing, I Think I Hate Him...Help / My 2 Months Old Marriage Is Crashing - HELP ME / Why Are Some Marriages So Boring? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 9:26pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
fem29: ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
fem29: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 9:37pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
fem29: After just coming off of a series of puke wiping days, I totally feel you. ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by SirShymexx: 10:17pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: Err, the ever eccentric Texas Orchard, I had to come back from my hiatus for this one despite the fact that I'm a big fan of open marriage(s) - albeit the plausibility of it being blissful is still up in the air. I think I created a thread about it a few months ago. Ain't no one got time to be locked up for life in a fundamentally flawed institution, in need of an upgrade. Men change. Women change. And sometimes, to keep the union alive, for the sake of the children - folks should be allowed to do whatever they want. As long as it'll make them fulfilled. However, I disagree with ya assertion that: "white men are better" - especially with using divorce rate between black women and white men as a premise. How about use the divorce rate between white men and women as a yardstick, since most white men are married to white women - and compare that to marriages between black men and black women? Can you see how flawed your assertion is? Honestly, I think the reason why the divorce rate between white and black women might be low (that's if it's true) is because black women tend to be more subservient in interracial relationships. White men are like their trophies - and it has more to do with self-esteem issues. Also, their willingness to soak-in whatever white men might throw at them. Only black women can get ghetto-gagged by a bunch a rednecks, and still feel proud. about it. However, conversely, the same women would cry about black men objectifying them - hysterical. Black women in general are just a confused lot with low self-esteem and a lot of self-hate, to be honest. For example: when a black guy is into White/Asian women - to black women: he's a self-hating coon. However, when a black woman is into white men - to black women: get it gurl - and it's time to put her on Oprah and front-page of magazines about black women exploring their options loool. Stop cooning! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by 2CatWoman: 10:30pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
^^^^ So how does it work the other way around then? 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by damiso(f): 10:32pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
fem29: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't worry they will soon grow up and not want to talk to you (that's what I console myself with ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by SirShymexx: 10:51pm On Feb 02, 2015 |
@2Catwoman Personally, based on my experience (checked a few white chics in College and Uni) - apart from being too clingy, especially with excessive phone calls and wanting to be next to you 24/7. I'd say the average white chic has this innate "fear" when dealing with black guys, and that makes them naturally more "submissive" than black women in general. They seldom get belligerent, and all up in ya face - and even when they do - as soon as they see that you're angry, they'll just fall back. I think that has more to do with testosterone level and being true to themselves from a cultural perspective. Unlike black women who try too hard to be what they're not. Regardless, I'm not saying that they're all like that - just dealing with percentages here. Evidently, it's a no-brainer that relationships between black men and white women will always last longer. Also, black men in general don't really care about what race of men you choose to date - apart from clowning around. It's a privilege to be a black man. And once you go on holidays to places/countries where women seldom see black men, that's when you'll know how exotic you're with the bevy of chics you'll most likely get, without putting in too much effort. Anyhoo, not throwing shots at black women (I prefer my black queens with huge badonkadonks like African chics), but I'm just saying it as it's with no chaser. |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 2:16am On Feb 03, 2015 |
damiso: Yess ooo I can't wait until they are totally independent, heck then they will do all the housework whilst I rest. Love them to bits but I spend entirely too much time with them. Cos they're twins childcare is totally out of the question, would be paying 1.5k at least monthly for the two of them. So stuck at home waiting for them to start school. |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 2:27am On Feb 03, 2015 |
fem29: Lol it is well, dearie ![]() It's all worth it ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by SAMBARRY: 9:00am On Feb 03, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara:lol.na from uniben you dey learn school as suku tear am-tiarram Etc. Lol ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by damiso(f): 9:11am On Feb 03, 2015 |
fem29: I so feel you on childcare but don't worry it's all for a good cause. I will suggest though that once in a while drop them off (I know it might be a bit trickier with twins boys esp my one drives me up tge wall ![]() In some Boroughs you can get 15 hours free childcare for 2 year olds (its mean tested in some areas cos I know my son did not qualify) |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 10:31am On Feb 03, 2015 |
damiso: Yes o they are 3 and get 15hrs a week, 3 hrs a day. And I do have a babysitter and family help out once in a while. But I have a clothing business so I have to do a lot of rushing about for that. It a balancing act but light is at the end of the tunnel, they start school in september ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 10:32am On Feb 03, 2015 |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by KanwuliaJara: 3:18pm On Feb 03, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: Yes o! Na BINI pipo dey tok like so o! ![]() Na "tiaaaaaH-RRRRRaN", not "tiarrrram"! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by SAMBARRY: 8:11pm On Feb 03, 2015 |
![]() ![]() ![]() muchecheche nko ![]() KanwuliaJara: |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Shirley07: 1:57pm On Feb 04, 2015 |
SirShymexx:Keep dreaming. Apart from shagging and dumping them like rags for their grannies, white women has nothing to do with black men. Infact, they are more of racists than their men. 3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by mgbeketoto: 12:06am On Feb 05, 2015 |
SirShymexx: Amen TO OPEN MARRIAGES! ![]() 100% of African marriages are WIDE OPEN, but you can always trust a typical NIGERIAN 'holy nwenje' to be in denial even from the grave! Blissfulness is a state of mind and can only come from within. It is only contingent on many factors. The 'flawed' marriage institution and the word 'blissful' can never go hand-in-hand. The best you can do is 'fake' it good! ![]() However, I disagree with ya assertion that: "white men are better" - especially with using divorce rate between black women and white men as a premise. How about use the divorce rate between white men and women as a yardstick, since most white men are married to white women - and compare that to marriages between black men and black women? Can you see how flawed your assertion is? Absolutely irrelevant! Think 'statistics'! Thanks! ![]() SirShymexx: . . . .Meaning when most black women really find true love in the hands of white men, they sell themselves short because of their 'self-esteem' issues? WRONG! The same black women started of dating BLACK men from their high-school days right? They have only learned to appreciate the differences. ![]() SirShymexx: Glad to know you feel the same way about 'black' women I feel for 'black' men in general. Now you know why we can't get along within the 'black' race. We have grown to 'dislike' and 'mistrust' ourselves. . . for good reasons too! Why should we continue to suffer in our own hands. I refuse to do just that! The feelings are SUPER MUTUAL baby! ![]() Time to make that switch! BROP THE ZERO, AND GET A HERO!!!!! ![]() https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI0mSEzttx8 |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 7:30am On Feb 05, 2015 |
@mgbeketoto, na u dey 4dat profile ![]() ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Eshyy(m): 9:44pm On Feb 05, 2015 |
shinejackie:Stalker |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Eshyy(m): 9:51pm On Feb 05, 2015 |
When you spend time to know & understand your spouse before marriage and nuture a life vision/dream together, ur could end up as soulmates.. When ur are concerned only about being married TOO u get a mate #FACT |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 10:26pm On Feb 05, 2015 |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Eshyy(m): 1:22am On Feb 06, 2015 |
shinejackie: |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by KanwuliaJara: 8:57am On Feb 06, 2015 |
shinejackie: Yes o. . . .A very innocent 22 year-old corper in Lagos STATE NIGERIA!!! Not now sha! ![]() Both eyes and 'nyansh' have since been opened 'WIDELY-WIDELY'! ![]() Check me out now. . . . ![]() My H-Agnostic GAWD continue to bless AMERICA AND WHITE MEN! ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by oloyede252(m): 10:21am On Feb 06, 2015 |
[quote author=KanwuliaJara post=30473886]hello ma.giving that av read all ur post i cldnt reli deduct d meaning of the term 'open marriage'to mean a definate concept.ur help wil b greatly needed.nd pls make use of example and refrences. Note:it for edu purposes,nd sumtin abt gender role, |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by KanwuliaJara: 1:01pm On Feb 06, 2015 |
oloyede252: I have defined open marriages several times ON THIS THREAD. They are NO gender roles. Each party in a marriage does WHATEVER he or she sees or deems fit! Separate bank accounts. . . separate bill payments. . . SOMETIMES SEPARATE HOUSES. It is very diverse with possibilities. . . It is a marriage in which both parties have agreed OR ACCEPTED TO LIVE SEPARATE LIVES without domestic altercations or divorce. ![]() You feel comfortable with YOUR LIFE AND SO DOES YOUR PARTNER. It does not mean you do not have disagreements. . . BUT YOU LIVE MORE LIKE INDIVIDUALS. . . NOT A COUPLE OR A FAMILY!!!! I loooooooove it!!! YOU NEVER FEEL YOU ARE IN JAIL!!!!! ![]() You are also IMMUNE to the LOCAL and TIMID personal attacks and innuendos from the usually JEALOUS AND MISSSSERABLE so-called-happily-RELIGIOUS/TRADITIONALLY-married-and-singles. . . . WHO FEEL TRAPPED IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH NO OPTIONS TO EXPRESS THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. They are the most JEALOUS OF WHAT YOU HAVE. . . FREEDOM in your open marriage! ![]() Each party in a marriage usually keeps separate friends and attend separate functions without the other. . . They can maintain their relationships with each other and OTHERS. . . . . . . WITH OR WITHOUT SEX. . . . . . . WITHOUT FEELINGS OF GUILT OR LOW SELF-ESTEEM! ![]() They may choose to live together or not, and may choose to be involved in the lives of the children. . . or not! The only thing that binds both in the marriage is mutual love, friendship or respect. . . .OR ONLY THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE WITH BENEFITS!!! As for examples. . . HILARY AND BILL CLINTON HAVE A VERY OPEN MARRIAGE!!!! ![]() In Africa. . . ALL POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGES ARE OPEN MARRIAGES. . . AND MOST MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGES WHERE THE HUSBANDS DO NOT EVEN LIVE WITH THE WIVES AND CHILDREN. . . . Because you were an INDIVIDUAL BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED AND SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CHANGE BECAUSE OF THE ALMIGHTY MARRIAGE INSTITUTION!!! You can always be yourself AND YOU ARE LOVED JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!! AMEN!!!! ![]() Any further questions? ![]() https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovEkVmbHqxU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaelzfAZ488 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by oloyede252(m): 6:10pm On Feb 06, 2015 |
Any further questions? ![]() [/quote] thks alot ma.quite intresting..i also av dis interesting question for u.nd ur explanation is most important.-examine any two feminist theories and indicate their propositions for the eradication of inequality between genders' ...there ar many theories but just pick most significant.(dat my hss113(gender studies) presentation on monday..hope am nt asking too much. Na unilag cos am.lol.thks |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by KanwuliaJara: 6:33pm On Feb 06, 2015 |
oloyede252: Sorry, try another thread. You are asking too much. Take kia! ![]() |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by oloyede252(m): 6:40pm On Feb 06, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara:ok.ok.thk u veli muuch. |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by EfemenaXY: 2:31pm On Feb 07, 2015 |
fem29: What a realistic, down-to-earth post! Thanks for sharing your experiences, mami. It does get better with time...but make sure, you teach them all about domestic chores whether they're boys or not. You'll get the reap the benefits in full (like I do every weekend!) ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by EfemenaXY: 3:09pm On Feb 07, 2015 |
SirShymexx: Sorry, I don't get you. Whose got the tendency to be this clingy? White chicks? Blacks? Asians? I don't think the clingyness you've just described is race dependent, but rather on the personality of the lady in question. An insecure woman in her relationship will display what you've just described and anyone can be insecure, irrespective of whether they're black, white, yellow, green, or orange. I think what you should ask yourself here is this: why are your chicks (or the ladies you've gone out with) this insecure? Do you deliberately fish out insecure women to date? Or does dating you make a previously secure, independent-thinking lady suddenly become the opposite? ![]() ![]() SirShymexx: You make the bolded bit sound like a thing of pride? Any black man whose Caucasian girlfriend acts like that should be worried because it's not about her being submissive (well, not willingly), but rather you lot being stereotyped as a low IQ violent brute who acts first then thinks later. Shymexx, Shymexx, if your white girlfriend cowers before you, you should be offended for starters, especially if you've never been violent towards her, or given any indications of having the tendency to be so. See, it's akin to this scenario: Bulky black man seen walking down the streets with scrawny white woman. Woman suddenly yelps and the nearby cops descend on the black brother like no man's business, even before they hear out the whole story. It eventually comes to light that little Ms. Scrawny yelped because she thought she saw shadows moving in the alley way. How do you explain the police's reaction? Racism, perhaps? SirShymexx: Compared to? Do such marriages last longer than Negroid woman married to Caucasian man? ![]() SirShymexx: Hard to believe. 3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Is BORING! Fact! Soul mate or JUST MATES? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Feb 07, 2015 |
fem29: Dont worry, everything in this life is a phase There will come a time when you end up with pleny time on your hands and no kids to "shout" at ![]() ![]() Please enjoy them now All my ones do is ask for money ![]() |
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