nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

mikaael:


Ur head dey there...Ur a smart gal...talkin from experience abi

sonofananimal:
THAT'S IS A TYPICAL NAIJA WOMAN MENTALITY.

ME ME ME AND ME WITH ME NOT WITH ME MORE OF ME ONLY ME JUST ME.


I CALL THEM THE ME GENERATION, WHO ONLY THINK OF THEMSELVES BUT NOT THINKING OF OTHERS

jmoore:
Hian.

You want turning on, abi?

Don't start a fire you can't quench. Leave that gentleman alone biko.

---

That nigga is wise mehn.

vani86:
When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

Swissheart:
Talk to him about it!.....na serious matter oh.If u guys go out....study his mood and express your fears,do it maturely but with all seriousness. Let him understand how you feel.I won't advocate for premarital sex but then.....no body holy pass.Sis I kind of discovered you aren't thoroughly in love with dis guy....u just referred to him as 'dis one I am dating now'....hmmn it is well

donholy28:
No man wants to fvck u? u need help

Ahmed0336:
Some girls self !!!!!! After una don settle for no sex till after marriage na now u dey complain abt una decision. WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW?

valdes00:
u don't want sex in the relationship so whats d essence of d sex talk and romance.... don't u knw its a punishment to gt him turned on without drilling dat hole..... I like dat bros jare.... him sabi... hey sis, u shouldn't complain... at least he is Kiping to ur agreement.... and sorry to burst ur bubbles sis, that bros is drilling a better hole out dere.. I can swear on it.... don't feel bad abt it, its normal... lolzzz konji na bastard

abimic:
If u are still a virgin, you need not contemplate changing the status quo, but to know if he could be sexually active, my dear, no template to measure that, it's all trial and error. He could be changing sexual topic now but really good in bed while some love sexual topics and yet, poor outing. Meanwhile, some people, if u make them talk sexual, they might not be able to hold themselves and would crave for it, be that as it may; if he doesn't kiss u goodnyt, demand for it or u kiss him instead, if he refuses to hold u, jump on him. Do some crazy loving things, his ears etc. If he refuses to talk what u want to hear about his ex, force words out of his mouth!. I see him acting the way he's because of the way he sees u, so u can't conclude about him. Take time out to the beach and experience some cool things, listen to the things he would tell u if they're romantic and if not, take charge. If all don't work, let him know things u expected of him frankly and if it's not working, that's his personality. There's a saying that, love me for who I am, and not who I would become. In life we grow, many things mould us, u Could be the help he needs.
ABIMIC

thelish:

No touching? she needs to touch and see if it will stand na.
Even if it stand, how will she know if its working well? Abeg all dis rules dey tire me ooo. When he show u over ripe bolee after marriage, Just know u will bear d pain alone oo.
All d same, touch, feel it. check d length n width. Also check d way d muscles are standing. if they shoot out, fine. but if no muscle shoot out, wahala dey ooo

Turan10:


Ah. U be badt girl,i swear. U dey even check veins...na wa!

prettysassygirl:

Girl,all this checking and feeling ad pressing,na hot dog you wan buy,a guy would allow you to check and press and feel den let you go,hahaha,only in the dreams

prettysassygirl:
To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

Luckygurl:
Hehehehe!! Your partner is really a brother in the Lord as in all this jim jim brothers

He has to loosen up a bit, for crying out loud you've got marriage plans.

What are his reasons for acting this way? Are they religion based?
Even if they are, engaging in intimate talks and PDA's ain't a big deal, I mean this is someone you'd spend the rest of your life with and it's only proper you get past the normal brother-sister relationship.
Not like you're asking him to go down all the way, nah!! Just a little show of affection, hugs, pecks, kisses, cuddles does it..

Sister mi! Maybe you gat to find a way to break down those walls of his. Insist on getting a warm hug from him after a meet up, blow a kiss through the phone after a call session, he should reciprocate too. Just find a way to work things around....
Once you achieve this, push no further rather help take things to it's permanent site
Guide him well cos his likes are rare sort of, you only have to work around him a little.
Hope you get your desired results.

Topics like this give me hope. It shows that we still have responsible men out there who ain't in for just sexx and it's likes.
I'd choose a man who's got such mindset over another who's ready to try out different sex positions with you whether or not he's got plans of taking you to the altar.

kilokeys:
Girls dont like saints

They love repentant sinners


If he doesn't have history.. He should just read some off the internet.. Cook up a story and end it with " gone are those days sha, thank God for Christ"..

If not.. She might think he is impotent o..

donholy28:
No man wants to fvck u? u need help

prettysassygirl:
To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

thelish:


Hahahahaha. The one wey nor go work well nor dey hard to know

kilokeys:
Girls dont like saints

They love repentant sinners


If he doesn't have history.. He should just read some off the internet.. Cook up a story and end it with " gone are those days sha, thank God for Christ"..

If not.. She might think he is impotent o..

acada111:
What bothers me here is the fact that he doesn't get turned on.
I'm also in a "no sex" relationship but whenever we are together, we snuggle and kiss and I feel d "koko" pushing against me wella . So, the fact that he has never had an erection when you are together is something that you should be concerned about.