DeeTus:
With your Alaba Market English, obviously she would be too stubborn to you.

. With number of months I spent on strike in school days, with ashawo/olosho pricing and clubbing lifestyle, with life with Lagos boys? How do you want my english to be. Come teach English Lesson and not pidgin because I attended Communication Skills Course 4 times in my entire school term while the lecturer appeared just 6 times too in 3 months

wasak:

I really appreciate this in no small quantity. It's not as if I don't have girls on my radar, to be honest I know I have what it takes to attract any reasonable lady, but what's the essence of bn with someone you aren't attracted to? I'm still with her because I doubt if i can love any other girl like her. Perhaps this is a final conviction to call this thing off. But I've really given so much, I mean so so much

She dey chop u mugu.. Seriously. For you to invest your whole life on her while u always knew how bad she is., that means, she don chop ur brain join.

Ladipodeal:


She might be dating someone else soo she got little or no regard for him.
@wasak you might be a spare boyfriend

I couldn't agree more, no matter how rude or beautiful a woman is, she will be submissive to one MAN out there, if it's not her boyfriend or husband then it's most dev someone else out there whether a younger dude or an elderly man.

That's what I'm trying to point out to OP, if she's not submissive to you, then she's loyal to another man out there. The earlier the better, wasak should also stop spending on her not even a dime until further notice.

Sagamite:


Love ko, Curve ni!

What love?

NIGGA! Fcking listen up, boy, to the Professor of Womantology.

There is no love in this relationship you are talking about from her side.

You are just filling a void until she can find a man that can control her. You have lost this one, cut your loses and dumb her ASAP!

You did not stamp your masculinity in the early phases. It is obvious from your frequent references to the "crazy things you have done for her" and "sacrificing my convenience".

And so what if you laid down and gave your world to her?

Most women don't give a shyt about what you have done for them in the past, it is what you can do for them now and the realistic near future that matters most.

https://www.nairaland.com/1433735/ladies-attitude-when-breaking-up/1#18072016

"Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association."

I am assuming she is young?

Giving all to a young girl (especially one in high demand) is like wearing on your forehead "I am a doormat and you will not get any challenge from me".

You spent fcking 4 years boring the poor girl with your wussiness?

NIGGA?

She needs a challenge in her life.

As much as you are saying she is being stubborn, she is actually being nice to you right now. As nice as she can be.

She is being nice by giving you the hint that it is over and trying to frustrate you into leaving the relationship so she can move on.

See no 5: https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

If you don't leave now, she would find a guy with balls that can control her and then start fcking him behind your wussy back. Then she wouild have moved on to no 6 so as to get rid of your arsse.

When women love a man, majority of them become suckers for him, not a problem to him.

Dump her arssse NOW!

I wouldn't even be surprised if she is already fcking another guy while you are whining about love.

/CloseThread.

wasak:

I've tried, I've held myself for a whole week without any form of communication with her, but that was d highest I could go, we settled and she promised to adjust, as it is now I perceive she's incorrigible, it's either i accept her that way, or I take a walk. But I'm also scared of her falling into the wrong hands....

You are not ready for taking a walk then.. Carry your cross.. You need to devise other means of taming her, (or, of coping with her)

wasak:

For two days now she has not been replying my messages. Irony of life, a phone I bought for her

ask her hw will she feel if u ppl part way now? Hear her out.
Then tell her u are sorry, dat u hv tot it 4 long n endure it enough, dat it is over btw u 2. Dat she has taken enough advantage of ur love, simplicity n emotional nature. Say it wit all seriousness n lock up.
Her talk, behaviour n reaction within d few days (lyk 5-7 days) u said dat will determine if u will marry her or nt

tellwisdom:
Push her into the gutter

Believe me I have read all the comments on this thread and this is simply the best. Very straight to the point.

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

I feel your pain bro, just that i don't have solution to it

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

Women are complicated creatures. You need utmost patience and tolerance to handle them. 4years is a pretty long time. Talk to her. No one is without flaws!

hmmn op i tink u guyz shld go on tasting water. obviously d chic is still very young so her blood still dey hot. so let her go if u kwn u can still take her back wen her eye don cum down let her kwn cos her eye still dey up. am wishing u well bro. i jst remember harrysong song reggae blue . even ur boo geti boo lols

a stubborn, disrespectful, worry inducing woman is like a decaying tooth, only one way to solve it, Take it out!!

johnson232:

Lol... It is a challenge u need to overcome if u really wanna enjoy any relationship with a girl, most especially nigerian girls. Since this is your first love, it's natural for u to act this way. But I employ u to call the relationship a quit, it will seem painful for a while, but will make u a better person in the long run. Sooner or later she will still dump u for a more hardened nigga, why not save yourself some respect and let b!tch go....
U don't need any hoe to live happily as a nigga....

johnson i take jah beg u respect woman ooo
op just let her go time they say heal all wounds

wasak:

I've tried, I've held myself for a whole week without any form of communication with her, but that was d highest I could go, we settled and she promised to adjust, as it is now I perceive she's incorrigible, it's either i accept her that way, or I take a walk. But I'm also scared of her falling into the wrong hands....

until she starts dating a guy that will be slapping her for every time she acts all stubborn before she appreciates you... ...I don't know what's wrong with ladies sometimes..when they see real love they joke with it...it Is when they see counterfeit love they jump on it and later claim men are wicked...see as this good boy dey suffer now just for showing true love and care..

Slimzjoe:


Talking to her won't work.....Am very sure of that

If one talk something reasonable, it will work.
Only goat don't hear words, and with even the words u will be able to know if she loves you or not.

b0rn2fuck:
abeg wetin be the babe name, sound like similar girlfriend I have too, mine name start with FU..., wayahoo, her stubbornness no get part 2,but I think distancing myself has let her show respect a little and gift reduction as let her know I do not cares as before but use that instrument to let her known,you cannot be frustrating and still be expecting to attend to every of your needs, her body don calm a little since then.she is still with me till today but I like this babe, no bi small.infact I like her pass my baby Mama.

Mobuch should quote me this baby mama talks anyway, thunder go fire ham! Chiefokonkwo of igboland.

So babe dey take Wale B2F do shakara too?

This world has finally turned on its head.

You need to fûck the hell out of her. That is how you tame stubborn bîtches. Better fück wen go make her see penis begin respect you!

wasak:

Talk to her? If i haven't done that I won't come here. I beg, there was a day it got to a point, I cried. When I looked back at how much effort I put into the relationship from the very first day. She has the ability to keep things to herself, she doesn't open up.

wasak:

I've tried, I've held myself for a whole week without any form of communication with her, but that was d highest I could go, we settled and she promised to adjust, as it is now I perceive she's incorrigible, it's either i accept her that way, or I take a walk. But I'm also scared of her falling into the wrong hands....

You cried?
You are scared of her scared of her falling into the wrong hands
Are you for Real?
That is a sign you really love this girl. Hang on there and continue to compromise, don't ever challenge her even if you discover she secretly cheats on you. Endure and marry her and if the marriage leads to your death at least you have sacrificed your life for another human being.

ronald4lif:


How can when you and oga Tosyne are here, I'm still your tutee o.

The OP had overtime showed her inordinate affection and unrestrained caring which has given her the impression he can't forge ahead without her and has limited or no other option but her. There's no quick fix in his his predicament other than quit it or get withdrawn and allow her initiate conversation while he cease from pampering her forthwith. It's always the case when one party exhibit more love gesture than the other. Only ends up being taken for granted.

Good morning, I have been following you posts for the past few months, not only for your contributions but most especially for your diction. Pls what course are you studying/ did you study @ school?

Same issue I'm having with my gf, I've always been supporting her monthly base on my capacity. But we recently have bf/ gf issues, which led to little of no communication for almost 3months
Now she started buzzing me to give her montly stipend in arrears having given her this month own. I was like WTF is she upto?

The day u realize that u r d mugu that's d day her stubbornness seizes. I rest my case.

dsamedaniels:
Bro I feel ur plight cos I was once in dat shoes nd bliev me I knw hw it hurt. Som1 said u try d I dnt care attitude towards her, beliv me it doesn't work cos she already knw u love her even mre. The best she'l do then is to humble nd when she realises u'r coming bck, she'l change nd little tins will irritate her cos u acted funny on her. The best is to let go b4 it's too late. U may probably be thinking u'l nt gt som1 better bt beliv me u'l gt d best. Jst dnt gve up, once in a while u'l enjoy her when she behaves bt at her bad, u'l wonder if she's dsame person. U'l gt d best cos there's som1 for evry1 out der. Quit managing cos it doesn't gt better bliev me.

Wow, wow wow, you have summarized everything going on in my life here. I really appreciate. Thanks

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

You deal with them by dumping them. This either gets them to piss off or gets them to reset their heads and get with the program.,,,it's usually the latter.
The only way to get a woman to adjust the way you like is to make it VERY clear that you have no problem ending the relationship at anytime.

You "nice guys" create your own problems.

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

......Bro i'm once a fool for love the only thing you can do is to do away from her, she doesn't love you or have any feelings for you there are a lot of girls out there that ll surely appreciate your love nd care nd make you happy.

wasak:

I've tried, I've held myself for a whole week without any form of communication with her, but that was d highest I could go, we settled and she promised to adjust, as it is now I perceive she's incorrigible, it's either i accept her that way, or I take a walk. But I'm also scared of her falling into the wrong hands....

are you saying you would rather endure a relationship than allow her fall into wrong hands? Have you heard the saying that you never know the value of what you have until you loose it? Smh, DO NOT endure a relationship, marriage is for the long run. You have to be compatible. You will find one that you will love much more than this one. Give it time and heal.

This is exactly my case with my very close friend..... At times I wonder whether her selfishness is inbuilt, pride is her second name and Jealousy her coat of honor..

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

Gent,
The writeup above is your own side of the story which sound appealing at your own favour. You didn't tell us your weakness, how you may have hurt her either through your words, knowingly or unknowingly.
Tell us about your bad side too cos I know ladies behave somehow if a guy has changed. She must have also done good things to you in her capacity.
You may have to do an intense holistic analysis of the root cause if that's not how she has been doing before.

You don enter one chance, but you're wicked.

Do you really know what is four good years?


How can you be this silly.

misspicy:
Talk to her

Can I talk to you? Can you stop being stubborn too

tosyne2much:
You show love and affection by being caring, tolerant and spending money yet they will still take you for granted


You refuse to spend and show affection, they tag you a stingy and an uncaring creature


I doubt if God Himself understands ladies

vice versa... ##$÷=

wasak:

Admittedly I emotionally weak, but is that a crime? I mean, I didn't create myself that way. As for my age I'm in my early 20s she's my first love actually. Thanks

bro, have gone through thesame sometimes ago.... the only solution I know is build a careless hrt for her.... hook up with a better girl around her and make sure she's knows about it.... ladies gets jealous even at their enemy.

tosyne2much:
You show love and affection by being caring, tolerant and spending money yet they will still take you for granted


You refuse to spend and show affection, they tag you a stingy and an uncaring creature


I doubt if God Himself understands ladies

My brother, love is never enough to settle down with a woman, don't be blinded folded, put ur brain at work not only the heart. There are some attitudes you will have to shift ground while u cope with the others. But if you know fully well u cant cope with the most essential ones, guy 11th commandment and do the needful. Forever is too long for u to be unhappy and frustrated. Shalom