slydog:
cos truth be told many young ladies, but few wives.

The generation of these ladies mostly do not have any thing on their head than being pretty and possessing model shape.

what about knowledge and sense of responsibility .. These crops of girls only think sex is the only appeal to enter a man's heart and good food. What about your sense of Judgement and masters of issues.

me dey use girls do yanga ooo ..... as a working class, u can only watch me, u gat to stand up for Ur sef to date me.... u gat to understand our responsibility in life to marry me .... no be by pancake n make up o.

I was sitting down in shoprite waiting for my (office) driver on the queue to buy fuel during working hours ...... some girls around seven occupied my table and the table next to me ..... Then two of them started acting funny by brushing my hands on many occasions while gazing like IDEK (I dont even know)...... I just acted as if they do not exist until I firmly looked at the one disturbing me like "wtf" , I ain't here for zhit !!!!

I also remember a day a girl on the street walked back and asked me am I calling her cuz I fixed my gaze at her and I told her no oooo .... my guys around fault me sha.

Marry the wrong girl and be unhappy for the rest of Ur life .... get a divorce and start all over again in wife market (who get time) with a divided home.

About to go for my PhD now ... single, young," girlfriend less , energetic and happy .... Verily that dream girl will come , I just want to be ready for her!!!!

yomi007k:


Hmmmmm
No wonder u don't have my time on weekends.

thot you knew,you no sleep ouse yesterday.

Marriage the most overrated shit in the world if only someone can tell one u gain in marriage that u cant gain while single

Laredojohn:
As I will say there is no late comer in getting married, everyone's life is different, we can't use others race to run ours...nice one op

Dey there dey deceive yourself. This should be coming from the ones that already have a child. What is the essence of the child you give birth to at the age of 45. No late comer in marriage but there is late comer in child delivery especially if you are a woman.

3Dee:


Bros, I thought I was the only one in that shoe until I came upon ur post. The stigmatisation is real bro. There's even this man at my work place that normally ask after my mum anytime I greet him---meaning I'm still a boy who's probably living under mummy's roof and eating mummy thank you food. Can you imagine!!!
I still dey count am for the guy, the day wey I go surprise am with slaps don dey ripe.
Just watch out Una go hear for nairaland.

LOL
It is true. After regular greetings, next question is: how is "your mum and dad", or how is "your mummy and daddy"?
When it started, I thought it was strange. Now, I reply with the same question to whoever asks. Recently, I don't get such questions.
When one gets married, the questions will be about the wife.

Op, how old are you?

It is only those that like you that ask you if you are married or not.

It is better to be married than single.

Marriage is not compulsory but necessary.

Until, you are married you cannot fully understand marriage as a single.

Marriage talk is not to put you under pressure, but to tell you about the reality.

I dont agree that you are stigmatised against as a single, it is just your mindset Obviously you have not sern the real stigma. Go and ask the outcasts or families that were seen as outcast the real meaning of stigma.

Since I was born, I have never seen anyone stigmatised against because of marriage, that is taking the matter to the extreme and gross exaggeration.

Those single ladies should be worried more not the guys. Age as a factor affect ladies more than men.


Marriage is sweet and enjoyable.

Dont look at marriage from the negative side of people always divorcing but from the positive side of couples that have celebrated 40 or 50 years in marriage.

Remember, once you are 30, next year is 31, you are aging, forget the baby face or small stature and time wait for no man.

adeoti01:
Marriage, I detest the institution with passion....

Such bitter words, you need to calm down, marriage isnt what hurt you but a human being. blaming marriage wont help you

Nigerians will tell you time is everything they still be asking when are getting married.

Brother you dey vex ni?
Go and marry!

onelife97:
Serious men shouldn't be thinking of marriage but to be carrier minded and make a lot of money money and a lot of money.
Marriage is only for women hence it's a scam.

Is Marriage really a Scam?, are you telling us you're a product of a scam?. Marriage is a spice of life, just pray you get married to a rightful person, that's all.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

On point! Only a light brained person will assume that every man and woman will end up being married.

dearpreye:
Ours isn't a normal society. Nigerians and their needless busybody in other people's matters is so annoying.

Whether or not we want to admit it, getting married isn't the most important thing in life.

Nigeria is a weird society and if you insist on being great, then you risk being misunderstood.

I'm so busy with my life that I hardly have enough time to bother myself with when an adult will get married.

It's even worse with the single ladies. Nigerian society has already stereotyped them as irresponsible.

Married people are some of the most miserable folks on the earth.

Just get on with your life. Let the lousy folks do their talking.

how I wish everybody can open their eyes and confirm what you just said. the most miserable people on earth are married folks, even research agrees they die earlier. of all the countries i have travelled, Nigeria is the only place people are crazy about marriage, you wont believe what you see in ordinary ivory coast here where the ladies don't even remember marriage but face their work. our problem here is poor education and lack of exposure, if you observe people here listen to what one pastor who probably have not had half your experience says. people don't read, they don't travel and even when they do they go with a closed mind just like our leaders who go to Europe see infrastructure yet come back here to continue looting. any single person listening here you better know that the world is beyond Nigeria and that 75% of Nigerians are naturally retarded in thinking

Marriage is so sweet, go and get your won loving lovely God living fearing wife jare. That make you a responsible man other wise you are a boy

Hello Dear,

Let me start by saying that MARRIAGE was instituted by God and the main purpose or aim of getting married is for child bearing and some other reasons. In your write up, I sensed that u dat u don't want marriage at all. Well, if u can remain and hold yourself till d end of urlife like dat it is well and good and Paul Apostle said if you can't hold yourself, he advice one to get married.

Disrespecting of married people has been the customs and tradition of Nigerians culture, and so shall it be till d end of the world either u like it or not.

My advice to u is to thing positive things about marriage, look at it's importance and go into it. Its very important for human existence. BIKO CHANGE UR NEGATIVE THOUGHT ABOUT MARRIAGE.

THANNKS.

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80% of married couples in Nigeria are not happy. Fact! So, why rush into it?
Yea....'What people will say'....Interesting
Keep living a miserable life for those whose life are not better than yours...
All these misinformed kids turn relationship counselors think marriage is just a union to bear children and enslave your partner with silly rules and regulation. Don't worry,by the time you get into it with the wrong person,your eyes will open. And don't go screaming, 'I can divorce' because it's better to be single than divorced.
For all the ladies that are desperate..take it easy and don't get into it for the wrong reasons except your single status is your fault eg too much rejection,looking for 'mr right'. No Mr right,no Mrs left,we are human. That's why understanding and tolerance is needed.

maryhaam:
thot you knew,you no sleep ouse yesterday.

I beg, have my time ooo....


I aint asking 4 much naa

[size=18pt]Lest we forget, majority of those who are married are among the most intellectually re-tarded poor Nigerians who have bred more than 10 million children out of school in Nigeria and are the parents of the Boko Haram terrorists, kidnappers, armed robbers, touts, area boys' hooligans, vagabonds and prostitutes causing the crimes and evils plaguing Nigeria.
The churches that encourage poor people to marry are the ones building expensive private secondary schools and universities that the children of their poor members they collect regular offerings and tithes from cannot afford the exorbitant school fees.
Our Lord Jesus Christ never made marriage a do or die command in all his sermons, but many of the fake pastors and bishops in Nigeria have been misinforming and misleading millions of single men and women to believe that if they are not married, they have a spiritual problem when the fact is socioeconomic challenges have made majority of single adults to delay marriage until they have the socioeconomic resources for starting a family. Many of us are harassed daily by thousands of poor families asking and begging for financial support to feed and pay school fees for their children. And I am investing hundreds of thousands of naira on the nationwide campaign for the education of more than 6 million underprivileged girls out of school in Nigeria. Only those who are financially capable of starting a family and taking good care of their children should marry. We cannot continue to bear the liabilities caused by the irresponsible single adults who rush to marry when they are still low income earners who cannot even pay their bills and feed well. [/size]

To all rejected, dumped, used, confused, lonely, dependent, emotionally immature, mentally immature, aggressive, single people on naioraland who are all bashing marriage and consoling themselves!!! listen!!!

I work in a company with 70% expatriates and even they will tell you marriage stabilizes one better and makes you a well rounded human being!! I get this all the time because i am in my mid thirties and still single!! yet in a much as i would like to convince myself that being single rocks the reality is that being single and unmarried sucks!!!! it sucks so bad it stinks!!!

How i would love to come home to a smiley face of a wife but things just didn't go that way, may have been my fault or the people i met who knows? thats life sometimes life serves you lemons and instead of ranting make some lemonade!!!

Contrary to your post i actually welcome these constant criticisms why? because they keep me on my toes and constantly remind me what i should be doing!! you see its easy to get lost in the life of being single but let me tell you all

THERES NO JOY IN BEING A SINGLE PARENT NOR IS THERE ANY JOY IN BEING LONELY!!! so i would rather keep having people tell me ythe painful truth than get stuck in self delusions of intentionally wanting to be single when in reality i had some innate issues that needed fixing hence why every good person left me!!

For example.. i have a colleague who has serious temper issues , she wont ever agree to anything except its her point of view, now guess what?!! SHE IS SINGLE AT 34!!!! (No surprise there) now at every opportunity she sings out that it was her choice to be single, that infact she has decided to be a single mum!!! wow!! such self deceit!! the truth is she cant keep a relationship because of her attitude!!

Mine is temper i have a bad temper and that sort of used to scare some women away, imagine me f00ling myself into thinking that being single is a choice instead of working on myself?

All i am saying is no one wants to be alone!! no matter how much they deceive them selves or convince people, when they are inside their bedroom alone, they all cry and think over past relationships that they self sabotaged!!!

So stop whining and work on yourself, then maybe you can get married

Funny but true.

Orikinla:
[size=18pt]Lest we forget, majority of those who are married are among the most intellectually re-tarded poor Nigerians who have bred more than 10 million children out of school in Nigeria and are the parents of the Boko Haram terrorists, kidnappers, armed robbers, touts, area boys' hooligans, vagabonds and prostitutes causing the crimes and evils plaguing Nigeria.
The churches that encourage poor people to marry are the ones building expensive private secondary schools and universities that the children of their poor members they collect regular offerings and tithes from cannot afford the exorbitant school fees.
Our Lord Jesus Christ never made marriage a do or die command in all his sermons, but many of the fake pastors and bishops in Nigeria have been misinforming and misleading millions of single men and women to believe that if they are not married, they have a spiritual problem when the fact is socioeconomic challenges have made majority of single adults to delay marriage until they have the socioeconomic resources for starting a family. Many of us are harassed daily by thousands of poor families asking and begging for financial support to feed and pay school fees for their children. And I am investing hundreds of thousands of naira on the nationwide campaign for the education of more than 6 million underprivileged girls out of school in Nigeria. Only those who are financially capable of starting a family and taking good care of their children should marry. We cannot continue to bear the liabilities caused by the irresponsible single adults who rush to marry when they are still low income earners who cannot even pay their bills and feed well. [/size]

I agree with the moderator, in Nigeria it is believed that married people are responsible, while single working adults are irresponsible, this clearly highlighted in the church where you are barred from taking any responsible office, you cant join the mens group or womens group.

You are treated like a patient, with no rights or recognition, your efforts and labor is not appreciated, theres always this feeling that something is wrong with you spiritually, atimes people are forced on you inorder to make make you married and thus acceptable to the flock.

The only thing they will ever value from you is your money.

peppyluv02:
80% of married couples in Nigeria are not happy. Fact! So, why rush into it?
Yea....'What people will say'....Interesting
Keep living a miserable life for those whose life are not better than yours...
All these misinformed kids turn relationship counselors think marriage is just a union to bear children and enslave your partner with silly rules and regulation. Don't worry,by the time you get into it with the wrong person,your eyes will open. And don't go screaming, 'I can divorce' because it's better to be single than divorced.
For all the ladies that are desperate..take it easy and don't get into it for the wrong reasons except your single status is your fault eg too much rejection,looking for 'mr right'. No Mr right,no Mrs left,we are human. That's why understanding and tolerance is needed.

They will never understand. What's sustaining me is that I knew exactly why I got married.......and I can categorically tell you one doesn't need to be married to be happy and fulfilled.

yomi007k:


I beg, have my time ooo....


I aint asking 4 much naa

ok jare,how you dey.

Humans like gossip. So we will gossip, pressurise and victimise U if U aint married.

Nigerians need to learn to mind their business. Seriously it's so wrong on so many levels, people are different. Everyone has different dreams, different ways, different needs and different wants. People should realise that.
Smh!

I Saw this great piece of advice from a female nairalander on a thread and i was so impressed that this is coming from a female and i really think every unmarred reading this should consider this wonderful advice..

She wrote..

"Well, I just feel we should discuss some causes of being single at 30s and 40s.

I will blame our economy as the major problem, most guys and ladies wish to marry at least by age 25. but, how do explain that even at age 38yrs and through with school, yet, we can't a land a job. who wants to be a burden? and, who wants to accept a burden?

Truth be told, the rich guys in this country are mostly men in their 50s and 60s.

That all said, does it mean we should now fold our hands and watch the problem of this country hinder us? No..!!!


Let's face reality, we guys and ladies should know is time we come together and help each other. Gone are those days of waiting for one rich man or waiting for one gal from a rich home. Face it, the rich gets married to themselves.


If as a man you have an income of atleast 50k, ( which is the starting salary most coy pays now sef). then, go ahead and marry, if you have found that special person. But, please, let your partner be earning too. Even if its small, it will be needed in the family.

All every couple needs is planning. If a couple is on income of 80k monthly for eg, believe me, hunger won't kill them. they will be comfortable.they should decide to have just a kid for that moment on that income of 80k. not more than a kid oooo. until sometin better and bigger comes. All we need in this life of relationship is planning and understanding. and, not all the whole wealth in this world to settle down.

Abeg, I Don talk my own. another person should drop his own observation and what he/she thinks is the solution.

*drops mic*
*Let me continue eating my rice*"

bisdam9086:


Dey there dey deceive yourself. This should be coming from the ones that already have a child. What is the essence of the child you give birth to at the age of 45. No late comer in marriage but there is late comer in child delivery especially if you are a woman.

Lol! very true!

I used to think only ladies suffer this kind of discrimination but recently the number of "when are you getting married?" is amazing. Like the Op said, if one is not strong you'll think something is wrong with you. Most people believe that once one is working and has a house, the next thing is marriage.

I agree with you tha marriage is a program designed by God but i'd like to remind u that not every single guy or lady is single by choice.my sister developed cold feet a few weeks to her marriage because of the rate at which divorce papers were piling up on her table was alarming. We can all agree that God designed marriage BUT how many people are applying God's words in their life after d wedding ceremony? I dnt hav any problem with any1 who decides to do it Late but right, afterall if u do it wrong it becomes ur personal headache for life.Nigerians r gud at forcing ppl to keep up with a trend but they nerver check if that trend actually nid adjustment. Let's talk abt married men with side chick's, let's talk abt married women lusting afta other men.MARRIAGE is WORK, if I choose to do it then I have to prepare well. As Long as we Cnt help ppl prepare, I feel folks shld mind their business or pray for the person in question if they care enof.

trishapal:
Even before I got to the point where the op expressly mentioned it, I already knew he (or most probably SHE) was single and 'unhappy' but pretending to be satisfied. Marriage is a program of God so I don't think anyone should arrogantly explain themselves out for not falling in line with that program. Some unhappy singles instead of talking to God to fulfill His purpose for their lives, resort to self-pride, praising their status in public but weeping in their closets. About people 'prying' into your privacy, you need to know that in Africa, or let me say Nigeria, anyone who says 'it is my life' is not always right - we haven't reached that stage. Very few may talk about your status to mock you but many mean well for you. No matter your achievements, except if God exceptionally does not want you to get married, you need to know that you are not where you should be. And if your petty 'achievements' have gotten into your head that you now think or talk less about marriage, you need some people around you to 'beat' you into order...

the same way one Alfa disgraced us in a friend's wedding. told her to look at all her friends and that she must not relate with them anymore. its really annoying.