Etophikisi:
Op , thats nigeria and nigerians for you but i agree with you people see marriage esp girls as their highest position in life that they get frustrated when a man is not forthcoming.

i beg to disagree. It all still falls down to the same societal pressure and stigmatization. Our parents are not even making matters easier. I over heard my friends mom telling her "marriage is life and without marriage shes nothing". Now tell me why that girl wont feel she has attained the highest position. Its just crazy

D33VA:


Having a ring on your finger has absolutely nothing to do with your quality as a human being. There are married people that sleep around, that are violent and drunk. That whole analogy is moot, n the preacher is very uninformed he is just creating unnecessary division

Still not getting it bro.

All in good time.............

Go get married and have your kids.
And why are the ladies avoiding this thread like a plague.

Gelengelen:
i fvcked bola last nite réal hard....



tonite ils Esther's turn for réal fvcking



watch out

Lwkm.....mehn...are you kiddin me.....go get a wife bro and live a jejely life...1man 1wife nd maybe 50kids if u wish

In Nigeria, being single is a taboo.. If you don't have a relationship, then you need spiritual deliverance... *smh* forgetting that some people aren't single by choice, while some are!! If anyone is an adult, why don't you allow them handle themselves and mind your own business...Even the married ones sef, are they satisfied, happy or just there because society expects them to be married?? People have had to take wrong decisions because of all this pressure.

3Dee:


Bros, I thought I was the only one in that shoe until I came upon ur post. The stigmatisation is real bro. There's even this man at my work place that normally ask after my mum anytime I greet him---meaning I'm still a boy who's probably living under mummy's roof and eating mummy thank you food. Can you imagine!!!
I still dey count am for the guy, the day wey I go surprise am with slaps don dey ripe.
Just watch out Una go hear for nairaland.

U sure say u fit beat am?

The Issue of Singles and unmarried is not particular to our society alone. Even abroad, there are benefits that are accrue to you if you are married which singles/unmarried can not benefit from.

The reasons people believe you must marry when u are working or when u are of that age.

1. When you are married, the way you take decision before will change.

2. Responsibility has come.

3. Waste of Resources will stop.

4. your excesses will be control by someone.

5. Your Thinking will change.

6. You will be taking serious because you are now serious. etc

I may not be able to explain further but I believed those that are married will understand my points.

In my doctoral class, when we complain about timing for lectures or reading, I try not to complain because when I do both lecturer and colleagues will remind me me that am the only unmarried dude in d class of 6.
I just got a ride, and the next question was where is the girl?
Not that I don't desire it, but it mustn't be with just anyone, my heart needs to beat for that special one, cos truth be told many young ladies, but few wives.

True. In my office, a FG parastatal, I read in the condition of service that married women proceed on 3months maternity leave with full pay while any unmarried or single mother that happens to be pregnant will proceed for their 3months maternity leave without pay. And I'm asking, isn't it better d single mother delivers the child inside the DG's office? So that at least she can be getting paid during the period. I just don't understand this type of discrimination.. a couple of things can make a lady decide to give birth without marriage, everything isn't about promiscuity. It's well o jare..

marshalcarter:

Lwkm.....mehn...are you kiddin me.....go get a wife bro and live a jejely life...1man 1wife nd maybe 50kids if u wish

hahaha....just like d op i dont want to get married.

Don't mind wicked Nigerians. These are the same people that would insult and mock the hell out of you if you ever encounter financial shortage and run to them for help after you rush into marriage. They will say 'mumu, na who force you go marry when you know say you no fit feed family'.

If you know how much the average crèche, nursery, and primary school fees cost these days; if you know how much the average manageable one or two bedroom apartment in a decent area costs these days; if you take stock of the numerous spiralling bills these days and the fact that your earnings are barely commensurate with all these.... then you must give yourself serious brain before rushing into marriage to please foolish people who will not help you when the storm inevitably comes.

Mehn I tot I was the only one going through this unnecessary meddlesomeness in my affairs. My own is really irritating any beautiful girl that comes to my unit all my colleagues will be like, "check out this girl na, she will make a good wife". Then the single girls in the office turn the thing to fight o. Using terms like I am not man enough, I have phobia for women, and these are sprinters older than me who have behavioral problems. I had to even cut a male colleague serious warning in the office one day o. The guy wan dey provoke for me cos I wasn't interested in the lady he was trying to hook me up with. Them just feel cos I am tall and handsome I must have to marry by force whereas I am not in any serious relationship

dearpreye:
Ours isn't a normal society. Nigerians and their needless busybody in other people's matters is so annoying.

Whether or not we want to admit it, getting married isn't the most important thing in life.

Nigeria is a weird society and if you insist on being great, then you risk being misunderstood.

I'm so busy with my life that I hardly have enough time to bother myself with when an adult will get married.

It's even worse with the single ladies. Nigerian society has already stereotyped them as irresponsible.

Married people are some of the most miserable folks on the earth.


Just get on with your life. Let the lousy folks do their talking.

"getting married isn't the most important thing in life" but having a successor is extremely important. You know how how Celeb row now, baby mama things. It is not compulsory you get married but you need to have a child of your own.

I've developed a standard response whenever I'm harangued with the "when will you get married" question:

I'm working on it. You'll get an IV soon.

...and then change the topic.

missjane:
True. In my office, a FG parastatal, I read in the condition of service that married women proceed on 3months maternity leave with full pay while any unmarried or single mother that happens to be pregnant will proceed for their 3months maternity leave without pay. And I'm asking, isn't it better d single mother delivers the child inside the DG's office? So that at least she can be getting paid during the period. I just don't understand this type of discrimination.. a couple of things can make a lady decide to give birth without marriage, everything isn't about promiscuity. It's well o jare..

my sister you are right. thé discrimination is top much. like u Saïd some unforeseen circumstances might make a lady to give birth without marriage.


to add...please link me with a job in your parastatal. help a brother. its two years after nysc still nothing is working for me right now. save me

As I will say there is no late comer in getting married, everyone's life is different, we can't use others race to run ours...nice one op

Vixxie:

Former

Tanks n fix

After writing this your epistle, before the end of the week person go still ask you why you are not married.

It's the Nigerian way of life and belief that a man is never complete without a wife especially when you are getting older, if you don't want to get asked that question, then pack comot for Nigeria.

As far as Nigeria and africa is concerned, you'll continuously get asked that question but the truth is that is not spectacular to Nigerians only.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

Nawa ooo a married man or woman is usually seen to be more responsible n this is correct 90percent of d time.
Most
Landlords won't rent their house to you except u r married, dnt blame them BC if u ve lived in a compound where some single students shared a flat u will understand

Some societies won't admit single members, if u like b 100yrs u cant b a member of cmo or cwo in d catholic church without marriage u r stuck in cyo infact u r nt a full catholic until wedded in catholic church

Most ppl won't do certain biz with you if u r nt married so if u disappear dey will hold ur wife n children

Op hw many armed robbers/criminals r married they r very few majority r single

Responsible female must marry b4 35yrs at most dts y Linda ikeji is seen as a waste even when she is a billionaire BC she is single n u can see she is now begging for husband

Responsible males must marry b4 40yrs at most, dts y Jim iyke is seen as irresponsible

It's odd to see singles at this age, even God didn't design humans like dt. As for d pastor he is absolutely right married women shouldn't keep singles as close /best frnds.

Op stop ranting n go and get married nw if u r old enough there is time for everything, u can't b a single all ur life. It is nt good dt a man should b alone.

Wtf Here is African get used to it or move to USA or Europe and stop smelling like an as.s hole

For the Singles in the house, it is well with u all. Never rush into marriage cuz ur parents, friends or some people out there are pressurizing or stigmatizing u. But get married cuz u want to fulfill purpose and cuz ur time has come. Marriage is worth waiting for; the bible says "Wait for it, for it shall surely come; it shall not tarry"

Singlehood is not a curse, it is a blessing. So enjoy it while it last; but in all, Philipians 4:6 says "Be careful for nothing, but in all things by prayer and suplication with thanksgiving, let ur request be made known unto God"

God bless u all!

Op no get point at all, I think say u go attribute/justify ur says with quotes from holy books.

Ok, what does God say bout maturity(marriage age)? Doe HE classify married from single?

25 is d best

dhtml18:

I fail to understand what you are saying due to you gi-ra-mar!

It's fix now; however, wen pple worked for only 2weeks n go on time off anoda 2weeks, I was told to do 4weeks in n go on time off only 1week. D reason de gave me: u ar not married n we need u on site working

3Dee:


Bros, I thought I was the only one in that shoe until I came upon ur post. The stigmatisation is real bro. There's even this man at my work place that normally ask after my mum anytime I greet him---meaning I'm still a boy who's probably living under mummy's roof and eating mummy thank you food. Can you imagine!!!
I still dey count am for the guy, the day wey I go surprise am with slaps don dey ripe.
Just watch out Una go hear for nairaland.

Lolllzzz very funny.

I protested n even told dem I av a dog, my oga for dia still de call me de ask afta my dog.

Na force to marry?

Nayok:
Op no get point at all, I think say u go attribute/justify ur says with quotes from holy books.

Ok, what does God say bout maturity(marriage age)? Doe HE classify married from single?

what if hé doesnt believe in your biblical GOD?

maryhaam:
The stigmatisation is real at work, married women close early and they don't work on saturday,while the single got no family to care for so you stay back,i don't contest it I just smile,the recent ones was when we needed an apartment 3 landlady denied us claiming they don't want single,the society is one anchor of divorce,my folks don't taunt me with it thou,they know with time I will do the needfull.

Hmmmmm
No wonder u don't have my time on weekends.

Serious men shouldn't be thinking of marriage but to be carrier minded and make a lot of money money and a lot of money.
Marriage is only for women hence it's a scam.

Even before I got to the point where the op expressly mentioned it, I already knew he (or most probably SHE) was single and 'unhappy' but pretending to be satisfied. Marriage is a program of God so I don't think anyone should arrogantly explain themselves out for not falling in line with that program. Some unhappy singles instead of talking to God to fulfill His purpose for their lives, resort to self-pride, praising their status in public but weeping in their closets. About people 'prying' into your privacy, you need to know that in Africa, or let me say Nigeria, anyone who says 'it is my life' is not always right - we haven't reached that stage. Very few may talk about your status to mock you but many mean well for you. No matter your achievements, except if God exceptionally does not want you to get married, you need to know that you are not where you should be. And if your petty 'achievements' have gotten into your head that you now think or talk less about marriage, you need some people around you to 'beat' you into order...

Sincerely, there are a lot of working singles who would like to settle down and rise a family beside it makes rational sense to do so when you young and agile not d and fragile.

However, the challenge lies within the social-economic situation we find our self in.

The average Nigeria lady within 30 and below believes the world revolves around her feet and would rather prefer mundane things than prepare for marriage, so even if a guy proposes at this stage she is far from ready.

Economically, the fact remains that money makes the world go round, and today's relationship is spiral bonded by money. Ladies want a successful and a handsome guy but economically speaking how many guys within this age bracket meets their requirement .

So today, we have more mature singles and tomorrow we would have much more.