deracathy:
married-single feud.

emzila:
ALL I KNOW IS THAT ABOUT 80% OF SONGLE, MATURED AND WORKING INDIVIDUALS ARE REALLY NOT OK BEING SINGLE, SO YOU CAN GO ON AND CONSOLE YOURSELF WHILE DECEIVING THE LADIES.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

peppyluv02:
Not every lady you counter here is desperate or single. Ok.
You don't know my circle so don't tell me about changing it and keep your opinion to yourself.

Lols. Now you are defensive hah?
I guess I should have sugarcoated my words, so you can eat it all up.
I am still looking for where I said you are single/desperate, I asked you very simple questions.
*Where did you get your facile preposterous and hackneyed fact from?
*Are 80% of married couples around you unhappy? because I can bet you don't know 80% of Nigerian couples.
*Why say (not every lady you counter here is desperate or SINGLE), are you subliminally saying it's bad to be single?
*If I say, 80% of singles in Nigeria are unhappy _ won't you (as a sane & right thinking human) ask where I got such stat from?

Look at the top of your page, this is Nairaland...a public forum (take note of the public and forum), we don't keep opinions to ourselves here, at least not after commenting.

tivta:

Hello Mrs, can I ask a question? What are the benefits of marriage to a man? Especially when he is the only one paying all the bills? Cause I know from my folks that financial responsibility in marriage should be shared according to capacity, what pisses me of is how women of today leave all financial responsibility for the man. Eg, buying boxers for birthday but expecting a car? Please speak to your single friends not to make such mistakes

Firstly marriage is for companionship. I can't go about citing benefits of marriage to each party involved, when two become one_ it becomes a mutual relationship, not a parasitic one.

I don't know where you guys see the women that leave all to a man. Where I am, women work. The threads on victims of recent robberies in lagos as early as 6am were all woman. I guess they were going for village meeting...

Lols, I will speak to them. In the longrun_ they would still run their marriage/relationship as they deem fit.

PresVA:
Seems you have been very unlucky with relationships?

emzila:
ALL I KNOW IS THAT ABOUT 80% OF SONGLE, MATURED AND WORKING INDIVIDUALS ARE REALLY NOT OK BEING SINGLE, SO YOU CAN GO ON AND CONSOLE YOURSELF WHILE DECEIVING THE LADIES.

yomi007k:


Ahhh, just like dat?

May I ask why?

lestat:


Such bitter words, you need to calm down, marriage isnt what hurt you but a human being. blaming marriage wont help you

dearpreye:


They will never understand. What's sustaining me is that I knew exactly why I got married.......and I can categorically tell you one doesn't need to be married to be happy and fulfilled.

oloyede252:
so your not part of the 80% unhappy married people

3Dee:


Bros, I thought I was the only one in that shoe until I came upon ur post. The stigmatisation is real bro. There's even this man at my work place that normally ask after my mum anytime I greet him---meaning I'm still a boy who's probably living under mummy's roof and eating mummy thank you food. Can you imagine!!!
I still dey count am for the guy, the day wey I go surprise am with slaps don dey ripe.
Just watch out Una go hear for nairaland.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

banio:
Humans like gossip. So we will gossip, pressurise and victimise U if U aint married.

maryhaam:
nothing just feel like

omoarole:


Actually, it isn't like that.
But you see, it is very very irritating when people believe what they have is the only way in life.
It's EXACTLY the same as religious or ethnic bias.
Married people are happy, but some married people are also unhappy. Some single people are happy, but some single people are also unhappy. That is the way life is. There should be no feud.
it is just irritating when some people feel they have a monopoly on happiness, and if you don't have happiness their way, you are nothing.

mkhairr:
Look weda u lyk it o not married men and women deserv respect and dey r ahead of u dat re still single

Tamakay:
My eyes were in a cursory mood looking for where u will tell us how old u are but I couldn't find it. But later towards d last paragraph of ur post u made it clear that my waiting to know ur age bracket is inconsequential because u said u don't care even if u dont get married. You have a point in ur post no doubt but I think it is very irresponsible when a guy/lady at 37yrs working and not thinking about marriage and u want ur parents or friends to keep quiet. Your last two paragraphs almost mar ur beautiful observations. If one read meaning to it one can easily say u are lamenting or regretting. So by rating ur post vis -a vis ur mood ur post is 75% dissuading and I pray some gullible singles/unmarried youths don't take ur ideas hook, line and sinker because ur post as I have said before is more damaging than repairs.

deeptesting:
I am married but separated you need to see the treatment i was accorded in Church. The pastor called out all the men to wait for further discussion on an issue and i joined the crew as a man who is above youthful age.. Low and behold they separated us, single men, separated or divorced and held their meeting and never called back to put us on the know of the outcome as promised.

So i assumed their definition of a 'man" is that which is married and living with his wife and children.. Well, life is too short to hang on to the uneccessary so i quit the church.

Now searching for a new place where Jesus Christ the non discriminator is present.

deeptesting:
I am married but separated you need to see the treatment i was accorded in Church. The pastor called out all the men to wait for further discussion on an issue and i joined the crew as a man who is above youthful age.. Low and behold they separated us, single men, separated or divorced and held their meeting and never called back to put us on the know on the outcome as promised.

So i assumed their definition of a 'man" is that which is married and living with his wife and children.. Well, life is too short to hang on to the uneccessary so i quit the church.

Now searching for a new place where Jesus Christ the non discriminator is present.

sonofananimal:
my brother, because of this things, I hate going to church. There are very good in impacting a strong mental frustration on you subconsciously. The church is becoming something else nowadays, that's why women are much in the church than male. Because we men don't want anything that will tamper our mental status.

deeptesting:


You are correct...It is said "No one can put you down without your consent". If i can't find a church that will not discriminate me on my marital status then i guess my parlor becomes my worship center every Sunday..