trueluva:

i think that you should leave her. Because you will always have feelings that she is still cheating on you. You want somebody that will be faithful to you and love you.

saintchris:

i am a psychologist and i dare say that it's difficult giving any meaningful advice since we did not hear her own side of the story. i have a few questions for you my brother: what plans did you really have for marrying her in the nearest future? why the termination of the pregnancy if you were able to persuade her mum that you meant business? what makes you think that she really feels secure in the relationship? how many people have described you as caring and loving, or was it your personal assessment of yourself ? Is she cohabitting with you? what does she do all day when you are away at work? couldnt you have waited until the following day to bring up the matter knowing fully well that she just had an abortion if you were so caring?

Anyway, your plans for settling down might have been parallel to her own plans, hence her generating a "plan B" - that is only natural.

My advice:
1.sit down with her and have a REAL conversation - not painting a picture of how men want their world to be!
Allow her to express her frustrations honestly. you will be shocked how much she had been tolerating your
inadequacies.

2.Forgive each other ,with a pledge to work at the relationship better from now on.

3. Restate your belief in the power of love.value the r/s. Love is real. Better to love and get hurt than not experience love.

4. Buy books that teach how to sustain d r/s and take turn to read it to each other.

5. Forget the ghosts of the past!!

lysaa:

thank you!

eyonigger:

There is nothing such as " love is wicked" it is people that is wicked towards love by cheating i.e.

In your own case, your girl was wicked towards love by cheating on you.

However love is always there after love, love is something special and sweet, but you can never enjoy it for the first time and expect it to last 4ever.

You must face the bitter side of it, it trains, it motivates, it gives hope that a better and befitting love is ahead to clinch.

As for the issue on hand, it is obvious that at the end of the day, you'll be the one to make the best decision for yourself, your being here on NL is originally to share your pain and see if it will depreciate by telling people on this forum what has happened,but at the end of the day, your final decision will be taken on your own for sure.

Not a bad idea, Romance in ruin introduced me to NL. I wish you all the best.

Kingsleyinfo:

@Poster, your story scared the living day light out of me. I hope i don't find myself in your shoes. But then again that is life and no one is perfect.
But lets face reality when a woman truely loves you she doesn't do this kind of rubbish to you. Where is her integrity, But then again it all boils down to how much u love her. For me i can only forgive a cheating mate if i drove her to it.
Secondly i'll also forgive her if she has not slept with him. But if she could open her legs in two months and throw away what you guys built for four years, Then this is more than the devil at work. My friend this is not time to get emotional its time to face reality and handle issues objectively. Welcome to the real world.

Davidcares:


Thax for the advice, I really appreciate it, I have made up my mind

cindel07:

my dear there is no rules to relationship, this issue can either take you people to a higher height or break you up.for the fact other people went through similar situation and the relationship crashlanded doesn't mean that if you give her one more chance then you are making a mistake. guy follow your heart and do what it tells you not what people say cos to err is human and to forgive is divine.all the same COMMIT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO GOD and never let OBAMA'S slogan depart from your mouth, YES WE CAN and i believe you can make this relationship work perfectly only believe in your inner self. CHEERS remember THE DEVIL YOU KNOW IS BETTER THAN THE ANGEL YOU HAVEN'T SEEN.