I don't see anything wrong with this question. It's not so much about what you asked but how you asked it and each person's reaction to this type of question is dependent on few things:

1. The askers motive behind the question
2. The askee experience with the question
3. The strength of your relationship.

You have only known each other for 2 months and yet, you felt compelled to ask such an intrusive and deeply personal question.

Your mistake is that you may have pre-judged her to have asked such question so early in your dating period.

This kind of question should only broached when you have put a ring on it OR planning to put a ring on it like today.


Go and apologize and start over.

The apology letter below is not an ideal apology. It is wrought with defensiveness, rationalization and justification. It nullifies the apology.

Here is how it should go:

First email from you: "Dear: (insert name), I am sorry for asking you such a question. I did not mean to upset or offend you.

If she replies: It's okay. blah blah. Or she may tell you why she is vexed by the question etc.

Second email from you:. OK. I understand.

And, if she didn't tell you why the question was offensive to her, then your next question would be: If you feel comfortable telling me, please, I would like to know why the question upset you so".

Then so on and so forth........You are now in damage control and restoration mode with further chats.

This is the art of effective communication. Afterall, the dating period is for learning each other, NOT for coital acts and superficialities.

If you proceed properly, your relationship should get back on the right tract. And, if it doesn't, well, then that is also the point of dating. No biggies.

MRBrownJ:
@Samfigo1
there is nothing wrong with the question you asked and, unless she was a virgin when you met her, i dont see why she should make a big deal out of it.

here is the msg you should send her:" [b]i asked you a simple question that was bothering my mind, and you jumped on your high horses and left, while talking NONSENSE! i believe in HONESTY and therefore if i want to ask you a question then i dont see why i shouldnt. i am sorry if the question offended you but i want/hope i can express myself with you FULLY, without having to second guess myself. i dont know what type of r/ship you want us to build here but i do sincerely hope that the day you want to ask me ANY question, you do so regardless of how i may feel. i dont have a crystal ball to know if you have ever done such a thing, and since this is important (to me), i want to make sure about it, and get this out the way, from the get go.

btw: many good women have had abortions after being raped by evil men, while others did so because of the ill circumstances they found themselves into... who am i to judge them? i wont, but i certainly want to be aware, AND decide, if i want to be with such person or not, because having a family is important to me, and many women have damaged womb due to the quack/charlatans that perform these illegal abortions.[/b] "

That's a fair question I believe... but again my bro, the woman folk ask for sorry on all occasions. Ask your father

Samfigo1:
Hello everyone! I didn't want to bring this up but I can't just imagine how this question could make her so annoyed. Before I say the question, let me take you down the memory lane.
I started dating this girl for two months(I don't know if we're still dating, I'll tell you the reason why I say so), everything has been going on smoothly not until recently when we started asking each other questions. She has asked me so many questions, some of the questions are as follow:

My Babe: Have you dated before?

Me : Of course!

My Babe: Why did u break up?

Me: We didn't get along with each other, so we decided to call it quit.

My Babe: Oh I see....

She has asked me series of questions but I never asked her any.
One day precisely 3days ago, I decided to ask her this simple question that shouldn't take a minute to answer!
Have you been pregnant before? She paused and looked straight into my eyes and said What sort of question is that? What do l take her for? Am I saying she had done abortions before? She hissed, stood and left, since 2days now we've not called, sent text to each other.
Does the question sound absurd? why did she take it so personal? I have decided not to apologize because I don't think I have done wrong, that's why I said earlier that I don't know if we're still dating!

She doth protest too much...

End time question. I laugh you in calabar.

The OP is a noob

Guy. That is an assertive question. Like saying 'girl, you have done it before. Abi?'
Just saying

Samfigo1

There is nothing wrong with your question. Do not mind those ladies calling u names for asking such a sincere question. She is guilty of it, period!

She did what she did cous she ain't a liar nd wouldn't want to start it with you.

Guy, 95% of Nigerian galz of today ve gotten pregnant before except the Virginasss...

da ric he:
DID YOU NEED HIGH INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS CONTACT ME FOR YOUR HQ INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS,TWITTER FOLLOWERS,ETC CALL/WHATSAPP xxxxxxxx

So you de sell "fake friends"??
SMH .... yahoo yahoo ....4 1 9

SexyStrawberry:
Mehn Op! u were too direct! hehehehehehehe, but her actions to me shows that she's guilty of something, lemme not say guilty of abortion o! hehehehehehe if na me u ask that question, I will definitely be shocked at first coz for u to ask me that thing, hmmmm e be like say my body don show u signs and u just want to confirm, lolzzzzzz but I will still answer u nonetheless, but anyway just apologise and give her time, she will come back to her senses.
We ladies are complex beings u know

shaRRAP! Complex shit. You ladies are jst conFUSED.

Op u get questionorrhea...hw will u ask dat kind of question I'm a guy but it sounds very silly....op think say na nairaland he dey comment

Chei...end time question,abeg make I go ask ma own baby weda she dun get belle bfor.. l

amunkita:
She did what she did cous she ain't a liar nd wouldn't want to start it with you.

Guy, 95% of Nigerian galz of today ve gotten pregnant before except the Virginasss...

So have you caught the guys that gave all of your lovely sisters bele??

If it was me I would feign anger at the question. Don't u have the ppl skills to know how and what to ask? Anyways she'll probably get over it

kobonaire:

So have you caught the guys that gave all of your lovely sisters bele??

Unfortunately all my sis re transgender..

Anymore queshion

amunkita:


Unfortunately all my sis re transgender..

Anymore queshion

Why you no join them in solidarity wear wrapper??

There is nothing wrong with your question bro,she's guilty of it and never knew that someone she probably wants to build a future with could be asking about it . She doesn't want to talk about it because it pricks her conscience and at the same time she knew for sure that somehow your trust for her won't be like before - all she's doing right now is defense mechanism and damage control.

Use your tongue to count your teeth.

kobonaire:

Why you no join them in solidarity wear wrapper??

And Who sayz I don't wear..

Guy! U did not ask much as long as u did not meet her virgin. I can bet it with you, she has done a minimum of one abortion b4 for her to react to that question. Answer to ur question for her is YES.action speaks volume only if u can decode it.




quote author=Samfigo1 post=41372122]Hello

everyone! I didn't want to bring this up but I can't just imagine how this question could make her so annoyed. Before I say the question, let me take you down the memory lane.
I started dating this girl for two months(I don't know if we're still dating, I'll tell you the reason why I say so), everything has been going on smoothly not until recently when we started asking each other questions. She has asked me so many questions, some of the questions are as follow:

My Babe: Have you dated before?

Me : Of course!

My Babe: Why did u break up?

Me: We didn't get along with each other, so we decided to call it quit.

My Babe: Oh I see....

She has asked me series of questions but I never asked her any.
One day precisely 3days ago, I decided to ask her this simple question that shouldn't take a minute to answer!
Have you been pregnant before? She paused and looked straight into my eyes and said What sort of question is that? What do l take her for? Am I saying she had done abortions before? She hissed, stood and left, since 2days now we've not called, sent text to each other.
Does the question sound absurd? why did she take it so personal? I have decided not to apologize because I don't think I have done wrong, that's why I said earlier that I don't know if we're still dating! [/quote]

MzPecs:
Silly guys with silly questions!

Dumbfùck girls with dumb response

You asked well, if she is not guilty she would not reacted way, guy open your eyes make you no carry wahala put for house.

so, what if she said 'yes, i have been pregnant before'. what will be your next move?

MrsPhyno:
If it was me I would feign anger at the question. Don't u have the ppl skills to know how and what to ask? Anyways she'll probably get over it

How much will it cost you to answer a 'yes' or 'no'?
Getting angry over a genuine question will only increase any man's suspicion and whatever trust that has been built would be dented. Though the outcome would depend on who wants the relationship more.

SexyStrawberry:
Mehn Op! u were too direct! hehehehehehehe, but her actions to me shows that she's guilty of something, lemme not say guilty of abortion o! hehehehehehe if na me u ask that question, I will definitely be shocked at first coz for u to ask me that thing, hmmmm e be like say my body don show u signs and u just want to confirm, lolzzzzzz but I will still answer u nonetheless, but anyway just apologise and give her time, she will come back to her senses.
We ladies are complex beings u know

And now, let me ask you again

Have you been pregnant before

wats wrng wid d qstn? Dats an honest qstn dat deserves an honest answr if she's matured. I guess she wasnt prepared fine,bt if she is nt guilty she shld av declined rather dan walk away...no offence

I can bet she has aborted more than once...

Mtchew**

Mhen u bleeped up big time. You threw away all the tools of social dynamics the way u asked that...more like riding "okada" with 4 passengers behind you and no helmet to protect your head.

VampireeM:
For me I dont see anything wrong with the question you asked her. I feel guys should ask ladies they intend getting serious with that question. Am wondering why she is vexing that much if she doesnt ve a skeleton in her cupboard.. You did well samfigo1 and make sure she gives you an answer before you guys continue

Confirm....this guy was even polite with his question...My guy asked me if have aborted b4 yet I didn't get offended with him.