₦airaland Forum

[quote author=life_style]Better than brazilian hair! [/quote]You took the words from my mouth.

He simply wants to "shine your congo", just wetting the ground!

He simply wants to "shine your congo", just wetting the ground.

No 5 right on point.

All these oyibos sef. If the drivers had poor visibility, were they deaf as well? At least, they could have heard other cars crashing ahead of them na and know how to apply brakes. 1,2,3,4, ......130. Haba, I was told oyibos were smarter than this.

Mr Aboki: @Topic;; Only Married Men are allowed to keep in touch with single exes..

Aboki, you sabi wetin dey!!! Take one beer for my head.

.

snthesis: truss me, it was shined very properly, i take shining as an art

Ahh!!! That makes two of us, the more reason we should avoid our exes!

Please avoid your ex'es like plagues o, Okafor's Law of Congodynamics is very potent

Okafor's Law of Congodynamics

C1 + P = C∞
It states that once a Congo has been shined once (C1) , it can always be shined (C∞ ) provided it was shined properly ( P) the previous times.

In scientific circles, opinion is divided as to whether it is actually a law or just a hypothesis. There is a large body of evidence to suggest that it is a law but there are others who think it is merely a hypothesis and does not take into account other variables such as M (marital status), O (opportunity) and F (Financial status) of either one or both of the parties.

satanist: HMMM, PDP LEAVE AMAECHI ALONE!!!!!

[quote author=Okija_juju]If they like, let them declare him wanted and stop his salary and allowances..

He is a Rivers Man and Rivers State will take care of its own. Mbu on the other hand should be careful. Amaechi is rising in his profile and would end up in Aso Rock one day. When that day comes, its game over for Mbu..





SAI Amaechi... [/quote][quote author=don_conior]GEJ pls leave this amaechi alone..[/quote]A word is enough for the wise

It appears that Pastor Biodun of COZA has finally granted a robust reply to the alleged sex scandal that supposedly evolved between him and a certain Ese Walters.

In a surprising yet revealing interview with Chris Ihidero of Netng, the man of God clearly stated that he had an understanding and not an affair with Ese Walters.

Read below as culled from TheNet.Ng..

Good morning, Man of God. Thank you for finally speaking on this issue sir.’
‘Welcome my brother, you are blessed. It is you I must thank for being very open-minded about this whole nonissue. I read your column last week and I must confess Nigeria is lucky to have people like you who still use their brain cells. The Lord be praised.’
‘Hallelujah. So, where do we start from?’
‘Let us start from the beginning. Praise the lord.’

‘Hallelujah. So, what was on your mind when you invited her to the terrace of your hotel suite?’
‘That’s not the beginning. It all started when I saw her in the congregation while preaching one Sunday; she was very vibratory, especially when taken over by the spirit doing praise and worship. Praise the lord. The spirit ministered to me that she would be useful in Pastoral Care. That was why I invited her to the unit. And she was very useful. Praise the lord.’

‘Hallelujah. By ‘very useful’ you are talking about your affair with her, right?’
‘No, we didn’t have an affair; we had an understanding. Praise the lord.
‘Really? Explain to me how that works, sir.’
‘Praise the lord. She understood that I am a Man of God with a weakness. I understood that she was a believer with an equal weakness. She understood that I was a married man; I understood that she was a willing woman. She understood that I could make her no promises of forevermore; I understood that she understood that by associating with me I would introduce her to a level of grace she was previously unaware of.’
‘Is this also the kind of understanding you had with others that led to your suspension in Ilorin and the 130 women you have slept with?’

‘Lie! Big lie! One hundred and thirty?!!! Haba, how could one man have done that, even with a never seen before level of grace? They just want to give my dog a bad name just to hang it. 120, I may accept, but 130? Never. When it is not as if I have a spare mobile penis that I charge with car charger. People should fear God when saying some things o. Praise the lord.’

‘Let’s return to her story. So, what were your intentions when you invited her to your hotel suite?’
‘Special deliverance, I swear. God sees my heart. I had heard some uncomplimentary stuff about her and had caught her looking at me somehow during Pastoral Care Unit meetings, so I knew I had to intercede for her to retain God’s glory in her life. Praise the lord. Even when I asked her to come to the terrace it was so we could get cool breeze during the deliverance. All was well until she sat on my laps.’



‘What happened when she sat on your laps after you invited her to do so?’
‘My weakness arose. And when we kissed…my brother, do you eat seedless grapes? That’s what her tongue tasted like, soft and succulent. What was I to do? You people don’t know how hard it is to pastor a Pentecostal church in Nigeria, especially in this Abuja! You are there teaching the word of God and what do you have before you? Gorgeous women with sly smiles; with breasts, big and small, chiseled upon their chests like those old wood carvings; lips like cherries; eyes speaking to your soul, telling you their desires. Ah, until you have walked in my shoes you are not qualified to judge me. Praise the lord.’
‘Is it true you had sex with her everyday for seven days?’
‘Zachariah 10. It’s a level of grace you can’t understand.’
Ask the Lord for rain in the spring for he makes the storm clouds. And he will send showers of rain so every field becomes a lush pasture.’
‘You know your bible. Praise the lord.’
‘Hallelujah. And what styles and positions were employed?’
‘One does not talk about such things but suffice to say we were quite experimental, you know, those things one doesn’t ask from a wife. Praise the lord.’

‘ So I’m free to assume missionary wasn’t top of the list?’
‘God forbid. Praise the lord. In fact, it was because of experimentation that we had our first quarrel.’
‘Really? What happened?’
‘She wanted me to use my silk ties to tie one of her legs to the door knob and the other to the window…I thought that was too much of a spread so I declined and she took offence. It was during round 4 on Day 7. Praise the lord.’

‘You know sir, each time you say ‘Praise the lord’, what I hear is Praise the Rod. It seems to me that you spend more time doing the rod’s work than you do doing the lord’s work.’
‘Who died and made you judge? Don’t make proclamation about me if you don’t want the wrath of God. I’m a man of God, remember? Praise the lord.’
‘Is this also why you’ve refused to explain yourself to your congregation?’
‘They don’t need any explanation. They know me.‘We would have to end this interview on this note sir. Thanks again for your time.

By the way, I don’t know your middle name?’
‘It’s Roderick.’
‘Say what?’
‘Roderick.’

‘RODerick? Perfect.

‘Praise the Lord.’
Culled from Net.Ng
http://dailystar.com.ng/2013/09/03/ese-walters-lips-soft-succulentmy-weakness-arose-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-finally-speaks/?utm_source=&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=ese-walters-lips-soft-succulentmy-weakness-arose-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-finally-speaks

Is ASWANI textiles among those re-opening?

The "Pastor" deserves life sentence with hard labour.

gleaf: First they tried pressurising him not to take over from Yar Adua and it failed , they bought over Boko boys and its failing woefully now they wwant to break PDP knowing fully well that if they break PDP Nigeria will go down!!!,Lets keep watching as these power drunk Northerners exhibit their NAMALISTIC tendencies , as for GEJ he will complete his EIGHT YEARS TENURE!! and if they impose themselves on us again then ..... TO YOUR TENT OH......

Please stop all these unfounded threats that have become the tradmemark of typical Ijaw ethnic bigots. That is what has led GEJ to the mess he is in today. Nigeria is bigger than any ethnic group, tribe or individual.

jammyng: I'm not a big fan of GEJ but I think he's the calmest president we've ever had. I can't think of any other former president that people can toy with as they do with him.

He is not a smart politician, that is why he is being toyed with.

Factionalizing PDP is the begining of the end of Jonathan's presidency. He dissipated too much energy fighting Amaechi as an individual without looking at the bigger picture.

mastermynd: hw does dis ends ASUU strike,,anyhw shaaa
TO EAR IS WOMAN;;TO FOURGIF IS
DEFINE,,,,,,

I think sharks are the elusive "mammy waters"

I hope many gullible christians will learn from this story.

A 46-year-old Pastor, Olamide Sobowale, of Glory Church of Christ Aladura, Oke-Itoku, Abeokuta, Ogun State, has been ordered to be remanded in prison for allegedly raping a woman while bathing in his church backyard.


Pastor Sobowale, who was arraigned before a Magistrate Court sitting in Isabo, Abeokuta, yesterday, was accused of raping one Dupe Makinde, 30, who lives in Isaje, Abeokuta, while taking a spiritual bath allegedly recommended by the pastor.

The prosecuting counsel, Paul Etusi, told the court that the accused grabbed the complainant while she was in a bathroom within the church premises and raped her.

Etusi said the complainant had already put the soap on her face as she began bathing when the pastor suddenly entered the bathroom, grabbed and raped her with soap on her face.

According to Etusi, the accused had told Mrs. Makinde that he had a vision about the her and asked her to come for deliverance in his church.

He said: “He asked the woman to come to the church to take a spiritual bath for her deliverance, but, while the complainant was taking her bath, the accused barged into the bathroom, grabbed the woman and raped her.

“The accused has committed an offence contrary to section 357 and punishable under section 358 of criminal code of law of Ogun State, Nigeria, 2006.”

Magistrate A. Araba after listening to the prosecuting counsel, ordered that the accused be remanded in prison till he gets advice from the Director of Public Prosecution and adjourned the case till September 16,2013.

http://www.nigerianeye.com/2013/09/pastor-rapes-woman-in-church-during.html

My advise is that you please go for the MSc programme.

Great tips. Thanks.

Most men living in europe have been house-husbands for ages now. May be they can start sharing their experinces

manmustwac: THat is so simple i wonder why any of you religious folk can't even think of it. Tell God, Allah or whatever God to make himself visible like at halftime during the American Superbowl to millions of people around the world or during halftime next year in Brazil during the world cup final. Is something like that to much to ask for?

I'm not sure anyone can behold him because of His Holiness. Humans are too sinful to see God.

abu12: http://www.osundefender.org/?p=119082

He said, “Are Lamido and Amaechi not Nigerians? Are they not eligible? Is Clark himself not eligible? What is wrong with somebody contesting? There is democracy. There should be no seal. Whoever wants to contest should be free to contest. Let the primary election determine who should be the candidate of the party. Everybody should be free to contest, including Clark. He is an elder statesman, he should know that this idea of because somebody is interested in contesting, then he becomes an enemy, is not the way of civilisation. Democracy means freedom for everybody.”

The bolded is OBJ's official response to the political crisis in Rivers State. GEJ & PEJ should please read in between the lines.

The Police is your friend, please stop exposing her rotteness.

pof600: The only interesting thing about God is that, he/she/it doesn't exist. Sadly. You're gullible if you believe otherwise.

Pls, how did you or the universe come into being if God doesn't exist?

Sincere 9gerian: Fear fear governors. I thought they would have been bold enough to walk out of the party and join APC or form another party. But in the end, fear no gree dem. What they've simply done is just like a lady or child crying just to be noticed. It doesn't make any sense.

Meanwhile, I hate to say this but it is clear that all these are happening simply because GEJ, the leader of PDP, is from minority tribe. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened to GEJ by now if not that atleast the Igbos have stood by him. This president has not committed any sin, except his tribe. If anything, atleast, this is the first time we'r having purposeful leadership in this country. While OBJ ran the opposition out of business and Yar Adua rigged the only major election (Ekiti re-run) he supervised in favour of PDP, GEJ has allowed free and fair elections, thereby increasing the political control of the opposition, in terms number of states and legislative seats between 2010 and now. But what does GEJ get in return, its attacks, attacks and more attacks. Very very unfortunate indeed.

You are an ethnic bigot.

Until true christians start using their brains and studying the bible to know the truth, we will continue to have pastors and brethren feeding on the ignorance of others to the detriment of the faith.

Cockroaches ...very irritating!

Prince Justice: But guys come to think of it: don't u think there would have been a problem if that flight wasn't delayed? There is a reason for anything that happens. You never can tell what would have happened

What will be will be. If you like enter plane,danfo, molue, okada, keke na pep or even delay your trip by a whole month. When the time comes, everybody must answer the call. So stop dying before your death, only cowards do that.