Make una seize noise!
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Give your lives to da lord!
Why continue to worship mamon?
Why worship at the alter of false prophets with the split tongues of serpents?

I have been raised to open an endtime miracle church. Come for your miracle today!
Yes the book says, "By their fruits ye shall know them"! I can vouch that I do not yet have a jet plane.
All are invited for a feast of blessings.

Date: 18 August 2009
Venue: Ojuelegba
Gate fee: $10.00 person only
Front seat fee: $200.00 per person only

Come as you are! There is a section for everybody; we welcome womanisers to our "pololo section", we have the best strippers; weewee smokers can buy at a blessed price; if gambling is your thing, come right in and be blessed by our sumptious arcade!

Governors! Politicians! Thieves and oil bunkerers! The lord calls you; you are chosen for special Damascus road blessings; the fee for every contract blessing is just $1.5 million. It is easy to give to the lord! Come and be blessed!

Daughters in the lord! You are welcome! Out of my loins flow endless blessings!

The spirit has summoned my attention to certain works of iniquity on this thread! Ha!
I wept at the words of nuzo, who declared himself a demi god . nuzo beloved you have sinned a great sin, the atonement of which requires a brimming container of Chinese goods (I can recieve at our Alaba branch).

Behold, I saw the heavens open and a voice like seven tempests roared, "tpiah* will be banned again from both NL and Dugbe market. One the third day, after obeisance she shall rise and dwell amongst akara sellers forevermore!"

Rejoice! The day of the lord commeth!

City of David, lol

I remember when i was in naija and all the women used to try and outdo each other with their cars and clothes in City of David. Na city church they even named it. The name is apt. Show off club.

see this one rejoicing over ban.

Get a life Beaf- your own ban is in the mail.

na poverty dey worry you.

by the way, do not rejoice openly when you think something bad happened to your enemy. You dey deaf sha.

Daddy GOat is at it again

Eunuch AdeJALE Adeboye. The great Thief

Ha ha ha ha ha Yeah now THAT is what I'm talking about.


[size=21pt]20 naira to take a chit at Redeemed Camp ![/size]   

Now that I know that my chit will be blessed by Pator Eunuch in direct proportion to how much money I paid for the privilege of taking a crap in his cow sheds, I intend henceforth to hold all my toilet offerings until I get to Pastor Eunuch's promised land where every turd is anointed at the rate of 20 niara apiece.

Praise the Lord ! !   But  wait, there is more.   The Good Lord has now instructed Pastor Eunuch to charge for FARTS too.   Yup, you heard me right.   Each fart passed within 500 meters of Pastor Eunuchs cattle sheds is PUNISHABLE by a heavelnly fine of not less that TEN NAIRA, payable in cash IMMEDIATELY.  Special teams of uniformed buttocks-sniffers will enforce this new edict to the letter. 

Take courage, and fear ye not,  fellow pilgrims of the Lagos Expressway, for no longer do we have to intone these imortal words in our times of sadness and dispair . " Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to chit but only farted."

When will daddy criminal be brought to justice?
We cannot wait for any god to come judge him coz frankly, it'll never happen.At 62 the man is still greedy as hell, what a shame!

Religion na politics, lots of people know all the tricks.
Religion na politics, them are hypocrites and pharisees.

@ all

i do not support this idea from pastor Adeboye but i will rather say we should be careful insulting him even if it seem that his ways may not look right. David in the bible said of Saul, that he will not lay his hand on the Lord's anointed even though Saul had gone astray from God's will; the reason is simple, he was once anointed by God, so i will say plz be cautious on ur choice of words. after that has been said, i am truly ashamed the way most pastors in nigeria and in america has dragged the name of God through mud to promote their own agenda

@@@@

this pastor should be arrested!!

period

na2day?:

@ all

i do not support this idea from pastor Adeboye but i will rather say we should be careful insulting him even if it seem that his ways may not look right. David in the bible said of Saul, that he will not lay his hand on the Lord's anointed even though Saul had gone astray from God's will; the reason is simple, he was once anointed by God, so i will say plz be cautious on ur choice of words. after that has been said, i am truly ashamed the way most pastors in nigeria and in america has dragged the name of God through mud to promote their own agenda 

How do you know this?
Is it because he said so?

Even though I know Adeboye is not anointed by God, still I assure you, nobody is laying their hands on him. We're just telling it like it is.

nex:

Even though I know Adeboye is not anointed by God, still I assure you, nobody is laying their hands on him. We're just telling it like it is.

How the hell did u arrive at this conclusion .

I have said before and will say again  - Let God be the Judge  - A true Christian filled by holy spirit who understands the bible would not and should be falling for any gimmicks by any pastor.

^^^^^^

so let god jugde abacha for killing and stolen billions abi

for obj watchin bola ige die on his hand

etc

well one can see the reason nigeria is in such a mess

man of god, well if thats the case im also man of god

or maybe u are man of devil

nonesssssssssseense over and over again

blacksta:

How the hell did u arrive  at this conclusion .

I have said before and will say again  - Let God be the Judge  - A true Christian filled by holy spirit who understands the bible would not and should be falling for any gimmicks by any pastor.

Where was god to judge before Rev. King got out of hand and killed a church member?
Where was the almighty to judge before Rev. Jim Jones killed hundreds of his followers in the name of god?

You want us to wait for when adeJALE starts murdering his flock before we criticize him, right?

anyone remember emm Idahosha

once hunted by the british police for tax evaxion

time has come

the church in nigeria should know they got huge responsility to move our country out of this mess

they should spend less time worring about M-Jackson and north kore for god's sake

The quickest way 4 a man to be rich is to float his own religion. This is a practical example.

Jakumo:

Ha ha ha ha ha Yeah now THAT is what I'm talking about.


[size=21pt]20 naira to take a chit at Redeemed Camp ![/size]   

Now that I know that my chit will be blessed by Pator Eunuch in direct proportion to how much money I paid for the privilege of taking a crap in his cow sheds, I intend henceforth to hold all my toilet offerings until I get to Pastor Eunuch's promised land where every turd is anointed at the rate of 20 niara apiece.

Praise the Lord ! !   But  wait, there is more.   The Good Lord has now instructed Pastor Eunuch to charge for FARTS too.   Yup, you heard me right.   Each fart passed within 500 meters of Pastor Eunuchs cattle sheds is PUNISHABLE by a heavelnly fine of not less that TEN NAIRA, payable in cash IMMEDIATELY.  Special teams of uniformed buttocks-sniffers will enforce this new edict to the letter. 

Take courage, and fear ye not,  fellow pilgrims of the Lagos Expressway, for no longer do we have to intone these imortal words in our times of sadness and dispair . " Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to chit but only farted."

@Jakumo or Jaguda (omo ole ifo)

Where in the world you see kettle calling pot black?
Pastor Adeboye has never been a monkey and would never be. Go and check your Igbo people history, you will see that they were monkeys before Yoruba people came to their rescue. I called it "untold story." Now, I am out to set the record straight.
[i]If you goggle Yoruba People on internet, they will tell you "they were known for their urbanized settlement and complex monarchy settings.
If you goggle Igbo people on internet, they will tell you that they were the people that scattered around forest and lived on hills and caves.
Tha[/i]t's why Igbo people boast sometimes nowadays, that they don't have any king in their land unlike Yoruba people. I just laugh my butt-off, when did you see any monkeys' group to think about King or Queen. It's so pathetic that I can't call on our "IDANRE MONKEYS" to bear the witness for me, because Igbo people had eaten them all. Now, you have almost killed all our dogs in SW in the name of "404" or "Lokili" or "Inshewu." Then, roadside or gutter rats feel the sweat of Igbo people poaching in the name of the meat-pie rat-pie called chop-better.
Anyway, I got an ideal, you can go to UniLag by the lagoon to confirm from our monkeys over there. Stay away 20 feet from them ooo, because before warned is before armed. The Lagos monkeys wise up, because they came across three sculptors at the entrance of Lagos state that say "don't be dull, dumb and never fall prey" and that is just those monkeys watchword.

hhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

el well hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udEXvmO2p2Y&feature=related

dancin

Jakumo:

Ha ha ha ha ha Yeah now THAT is what I'm talking about.


[size=21pt]20 naira to take a chit at Redeemed Camp ![/size]

Now that I know that my chit will be blessed by Pator Eunuch in direct proportion to how much money I paid for the privilege of taking a crap in his cow sheds, I intend henceforth to hold all my toilet offerings until I get to Pastor Eunuch's promised land where every turd is anointed at the rate of 20 niara apiece.

Praise the Lord ! ! But wait, there is more. The Good Lord has now instructed Pastor Eunuch to charge for FARTS too. Yup, you heard me right. Each fart passed within 500 meters of Pastor Eunuchs cattle sheds is PUNISHABLE by a heavelnly fine of not less that TEN NAIRA, payable in cash IMMEDIATELY. Special teams of uniformed buttocks-sniffers will enforce this new edict to the letter.

Take courage, and fear ye not, fellow pilgrims of the Lagos Expressway, for no longer do we have to intone these imortal words in our times of sadness and dispair . " Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to chit but only farted."

@Jakumo or Jaguda (omo ole ifo)

Just because of bad asses like you, many of our forefathers didn’t want to turn Igbo people that scattered around forest and lived on hills and caves. They knew you can transform monkeys and switch their styles up, but the cave men mentality would never let go in their altitudes. That’s just the same nuisance you are constituting right now.


When after forefathers came across igbo people, they taught they were monkeys (no clothes on, couldn't pronoun just one word, but what saved you people was we already had monkeys in Idanre hills and despite your people could only mumble "Amu Amu Amu" like our monkeys in Idanre, we noticed you were humans but long time living in the caves without human connection was the reason you can't talk. Then, we called one of our Yoruba professors to codify Igbo language from our Yoruba language. In analogy with how “Noah Webster” an American LEXIGRAPHER codified USA Standard English from British English. This is just how Igbo Language formed from Yoruba Language.
They could have let your language have stress and pattern marks, which makes Yoruba language unique of all languages of the world. Then, our great forefathers knew you could not grab the sophistication of Yoruba language, just because your people had never spoken before. So, we let our Yoruba professor made your Igbo language simple. In analogy, you want anybody who doesn't have any computer experience before to write certification on Java and C#? You had better let him face C-programming or visual basic.



We have this MYTH in olden days, there were two monkey groups (Igbo people and our monkeys in IDANRE, Ekiti. Both were given a grease in form of elixir water to take to triangular section of the busy road, they must dance and sing and should never let the sun rise on them. But our IDANRE monkeys were so overwhelmed with joy and chants that “we are going to turn to humans in a minute. Before those monkeys could reach the spot, Igbo people had reached there, but the grease had almost dried up, they just robbed the little they found in the calabash on their faces. That’s why you still see many Igbo people so hairy all our their body except their faces.

I guess my only question is how I can attain the exalted status of at least an honorary Ndiiigbo son of the soil.

@Jakumo or Jaguda

Yorubas great ancestors had been urbanized 2000 BC.
1) Many of your troglodyte Igbo people back then lived on hills and caves. We did show them the taste of urbanity.
2) They didn't have clothes; we did sow "Aso Oke" for them to wear while they roamed around.
3) They couldn't speak just like monkey in the jungle, we did write language for them to speak. Now, Igbo people say Yoruba copied them.
Let me tell you from the history, the whole language you speak before modernity was so similar to that of our monkeys in Idanre hills, that cried "Amu Amu Amu" from our Idanre Hills. That is why after we helped you formulate your language you still make use of that "amu".  
Reply back and let me show the link on the internet. Cool Cool Cool   That's where you get Amunike, Amucaechi, Amuchukwu, Amueze, Amuani, Amuocha, Amuachi and other Amu amu type of shits. They even name captital of their state after their first language Abia, Amuoya.

No wonder, just because you would have to pass through Ekiti first if you are coming to SW, they killed and ate all our Idanre monkeys. Before Igbo, our Idanre monkeys are 1,000,000 super-strong, now if you go to Idanre, you will be surprised to find zero monkey.

akigbemaru:

@Jakumo or Jaguda
[No wonder, just because you would have to pass through Ekiti first if you are coming to SW, they killed and ate all our Idanre monkeys. Before Igbo, our Idanre monkeys are 1,000,000 super-strong, now if you go to Idanre, you will be surprised to find zero monkey.

I also wish to join the Sacred Order of the Idanre Monkeys, but I am still confused about the requirements.  Does one need to be fluent in the Okigwe Igbo dialect to qualify as an Idanre Monkey, or is it only necessary that I can produced documented evidence of having personally killed and devoured a few of those monkeys  ?

We're on to something here, but I will require your learned clarification before I take any further steps,

@Jakumo or Jaguda

Common now, you should know better.
Bichop Samuel Ajayin Crowther created the first Igbo people language for them. LMAO  


This is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Ajayi_Crowther

Rev. Dr. Crowther began translating the Bible into the Yoruba language and compiling a Yoruba dictionary. In 1843, a grammar book which he started working on during the Niger expedition was published; and a Yoruba version of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer followed later. He also began codifying other languages. Following the British Niger Expeditions of 1854 and 1857, Crowther produced a primer for the Igbo language in 1857 (common, Bichop Ajayi, you should have left these monkeys like that, now they are doing research to change Yoruba history), another for the Nupe language in 1860, and a full grammar and vocabulary of Nupe in 1864.
In 1864, Crowther was ordained as the first African bishop of the Anglican Church.
You just got donk son (so, when you similar Yoruba words in your language, your retarded fellows you know by now that Yoruba created your language for you)!!  

akigbemaru:

@Jakumo or Jaguda

Common now, you should know better.
Bichop Samuel Ajayin Crowther created the first Igbo people language for them. LMAO  


This is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Ajayi_Crowther

Rev. Dr. Crowther began translating the Bible into the Yoruba language and compiling a Yoruba dictionary. In 1843, a grammar book which he started working on during the Niger expedition was published; and a Yoruba version of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer followed later. He also began codifying other languages. Following the British Niger Expeditions of 1854 and 1857, Crowther produced a primer for the Igbo language in 1857 (common, Bichop Ajayi, you should have left these monkeys like that, now they are doing research to change Yoruba history), another for the Nupe language in 1860, and a full grammar and vocabulary of Nupe in 1864.
In 1864, Crowther was ordained as the first African bishop of the Anglican Church.
You just got donk son (so, when you similar Yoruba words in your language, your retarded fellows you know by now that Yoruba created your language for you)!!  

What the hell are on about - from Religion to history.

I will not eat another meal until I recieve FULL instructions about how to join the Sacred Order of the Idanre Monkeys.   

I demand an explication NOW !

LET GOD BE THE OVERALL JUDGE
'cos at this point,we can give ourselves a million reasons why this isnt right
and at the same time it may just be sincere, i think over the years,we ve all
had our images of them clouded and bamboozled by the flamboyant acts and
gestures of 'men of God' that we just have to sit back now and watch them in action
However,as it is with everything in life,for every 10 con men of god,there is always
one truly called by Him but then can we ever tell who is who?

@Jakumo or Jaguda (Omo ole Ifo)

Let that man of God alone, he's not in Igboland, comment on what ever concerns Ndigbo.
I know why the cage birds sing though? I guess this came out from jealousness from Ndigbo people about the vast wealth of Yoruba. History will tell you and I that Yorubaland doesn't become wealthy over night, it's all started from the Adam. We started spending money when many of your tribe were still monkeys, even before western world. Check the history of cowries' money, just to tell you that our ancestors were the genius of their time. The created IFA divination (which white people called Oracle) I called the greatest human invention of all time. I never see any tribe or region or country in the world who can discepher the module of Oracle like Yoruba people oooooo. I will tell you how the religion of ORISHA gave birth to Christianity and Islam when the time comes.
 

akigbemaru:

@Jakumo or Jaguda (Omo ole Ifo)

Let that man of God alone, he's not in Igboland, comment on what ever concerns Ndigbo.
I know why the cage birds sing though? I guess this came out from jealousness from Ndigbo people about the vast wealth of Yoruba. History will tell you and I that Yorubaland doesn't become wealthy over night, it's all started from the Adam. We started spending money when many of your tribe were still monkeys, even before western world. Check the history of cowries' money, just to tell you that our ancestors were the genius of their time. The created IFA divination (which white people called Oracle) I called the greatest human invention of all time. I never see any tribe or region or country in the world who can discepher the module of Oracle like Yoruba people oooooo. I will tell you how the religion of ORISHA gave birth to Christianity and Islam when the time comes.
 

Are you trying to tell me in a roundabout way that my application to join the Idanre Monkeys is being declined ?

You sound like a very reasonable and sane man, so please reassure me that you are not trying to stand in the way of my bid for Idanre Monkeydom.

me likey

ikeyman00

_think**

Jakumo:

I will not eat another meal until I recieve FULL instructions about how to join the Sacred Order of the Idanre Monkeys.   

I demand an explication NOW !

Ikey is that you above - brown monkey.