man this is a gateway for the girl to insult you if you collect the money. Firstly it will be a whole weight off her shoulders cos she obviously feels guilty that you have spent money on her n her fam and once she gives you back the money she will feel that she owes you nothing more and will probably go around town degrading you mentioning the fact that she paid you back. I think however that you should still collect the full amount from her (you have nothing to lose and you need to teach her a lesson) but to save face ask her to address it to your chosen orphanage or charity. People like that aint worth the sweat they always live to regret.

Y

ferdiii:

so sex is only one-sided now?

Both of them enjoyed am nah, so no refund

@poster, There is no need to prolong the matter. Just let her go. Q.E.D.  She was sincere to tell you she wasn't interested, but she was very cold which should tell you that there's no more feeling for you.

It's painful. I suggest just act as a man, take it in good fate and look for a prettier babe

hmmmn, shit must be treated as shit, hey bro ill help you out, first here is  the golden rule of nigerian love
1, always return the same proportion of love you were given,
therefore your case must be handled with caution or else you will be be a "love retard" in future ie always scared of falling in love
look at it this way, you love her but she dont want you, _{dont get sad , here is the good part}, get your fair share out of her ^sexwise, , dont ask me how  , and  walk out, dont allow her walk out on you, trust me, girls dont give a hoot  about boy, nigerian girls to be precise, lagos girls the most, do this and keep the player flag flying up high, dont get emotional about it, aint nuthing like feelings in the ^{good book of the players,} i just get pissed off when girls try to outsmarten  good guys like you

@ poster taking the money back has not and would not solve the issue of her leaving you. Take it that you gave her the best 4 years that anyone can give her, shes just very selfish and taking all wht you gave her doesn't make you any diff frm her. I advice u ignore her and move on with your life, its never easy but nemesis will come knocking on her door one day, don't ever change who u are as a person cos of this incident just try and go into another relationship but with caution, all da best

please count yourself as being a lucky mean.you can not clap with one hand for her to come up with such a dance there must be a melody somewhere.if i were in your shoes i will forget the relationship because it takes two to build a relationship if you try to build the relationship alone man you will be deceiving yourself.move on with your life,the beautiful once are not yet born

end of discussion ?

back off first, second go get cash money and make sure u do it better than her incumbent, thirdly swagg it. Homie I bet you she will come saying its the devil who's trying to destroy what God has in stock for you both,

now some of dis chicks don ignore now wey e don their uk.fc up

o boy na wao. u mean u have to calculate all uve spend, is it only money that u spend wat about others things that could not be monetised, i mean one on one with her in room; will she pay 4 dat expensiv/ natural water that makes her to look pumpos.

bennygee:

@ poster ,
iv helped your girl calculate the money u spent on her.

1st dating year
rice ,beans,fried plantain and pomo + bottle of fanta - N 180 (x2dates) N 360
okrika shoe (val gift) - N1200
mtn recharge card - N 1500
------------------
N2060

2nd year,
lunch at Mr Biggs (x3) (750) 2250
recharge card 1500
gucchhi (chinese gucci) wristwatch 2000
mtn midnyt call recharge card 500
-------------
total 6250

3rd year
birthday gift 1200
money to retouch hair 1000
recharge card 1500
vex money(as per BIG BOY) 3000
---------------
TOTAL 6700
4TH year didnt spend any money so he got dumped
thus the total spent is N15,010
just go collect your money fast before she change her mind.
christmas is coming.
u can do something with the cash

hahahahahahaahahahaahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hilarious!!

no need of stressing yourself trying to gain her back you can always get better one, the thing is to have confidence and show no state of defeat.

bennygee u wicked oh see insult so the poster no even spend up to 20,000 in a 4 yr relantionshir kai insult

where are these humans from? whoever says stuff like that. my guy you've been vibin wiv an alien
be glad to let her go. whaaaaaat

Whether you decide to get a refund is entirely up to you, but it shows your class.
I give with class, which means I give because I want to, not because of what I anticipate of getting in return, so I don't feel bad whatever happens.

I really feel sorry for you Naija guys, who think they have to buy a girl before she's interested. The amount you spend on a woman isn't necessarily reciprocal to your love for her, it only proves you have the money to burn (be it borrowed or meant for other things).

A colleague decided to foot the bill of a friend and some girls he was lunching with, only to come back asking him to pay him back his own portion of the bill.

My advice simply is, people give with class. shikena.

@ tbaba83, I dey feel you o jare.

calculate de money u spent on her,whatever amount you get ,tripple it and send it to her because u will need it to pay for alcohol during this period of emotional breakdown

tk22ng:

calculate de money u spent on her,whatever amount you get ,tripple it and send it to her because u will need it to pay for alcohol during this period of emotional breakdown

lol

Naija Guy some girls are just not worth s**t. Move on dude, u are gonna get a better girl down d road & 1 day this girl is gonna come runnin back or regreting her actions & deeds. Above all M.O.B. Money Over B***hes. M.O.B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nawa 4 Nija men & their conclusions,

how are we sure that poster has not been rubbing the fact that he dey help her and her family in his girl's face for 4 years? Not being able to tolerate it again she decided to pull away and refund him? Abeg, give us d full gist b4 asking 4 sympathy

@ Poster, and i can't believe u dated a girl for 4 years and never hinted marriage?!, if ur gist na d whole truth, then i do not blame her 4 walking, u are not yet ready 2 settle down, so lick ya wounds silently until u are ready, SIMPLE

@ op LMAO

To all those that said, the poster used money to buy the gals love and bla bla bla, that is so unfair. You cant have a girlfriend (even a friend) that is lacking and u decide not to help because u think she will think u are buying her love. From the post, i can imply that she is poor and if he helped her does not mean he bought her love. I think she has decided to move on with her love, which could be as a result of the following: u dont look like u will pop the question soon (a 4 yr relationship should lead somewhere), your shortcomings, she feels u cant give her all she wants while the other guy can, etc. You could also be the nagging and controlling kind of BF that feels he has all the right over her cos he spent on her, but I bet she will not mind that if she did not have a new maga to foot her bills.

I will advise u forget her but not without knowing the real reason she is dumping u. Dont send any bill to her but if she insists give her the bill and insist she sends it to a charity of ur choice.

Please note that becos she used u and dumped u does not mean she will pay for it, her life could even turn out better than u imagined. She mite not run back to u, dont even expect her to come back cos u will not move on but if she does, dont be a dog that goes back to its vomit.

lol
Guy you have just been chanced and oppressed
just forget her and move on with life.

:-x

good luck to both of u!

You've been with her four years you say, and now she wants to pay you back? It's simple and obvious- she wants to take the relationship to the next level, or get out of it now with some of HER own pride left. So if you have any value for her and you love her propose to her so that she knows she has a future with you; or let her go and take the money back because it's her way of saying she stayed with you for love and nothing else so in future you can't turn round and say 'you spent on her for years and she turned around and left you'!

First step is to disappear from her life completely.
Next step is for you to recover.
After that just find yourself another woman.

@Poster ask her 2 return bck 2 u the 4years u invested on her see wat she will say. . .

.

sorry to say, u aint telling the whole story. this is a classic "there's two sides to a tale" situation. in as much as i know that most females are binches that got ice flowing thru their veins, this time it seems like u've probably been saying some things that got the gal mad thus her "tell me all u think i owe u and i'll pay u back".besides, u couldnt have spent that much if shes willing to pay you back

she has someone else. leave her and do not make the mistake of begging hr at all. u will get someone else that will love u unconditionally. take heart!

find somebody else who is interested.

then look for someone else that will love u more. do not be deceived that there is no one else. get ddply romantic eith someone else. period!